obama for california



Mission Valley
10.99 USD


Luke warm, relatively stable, but with a little guac oozing from the seems.


Exactly what you’d get if you asked for a medium-well steak at IHOP in the late morning.


Fries, cheese, guac, and sourcream. Very large steak fries, tangy sourcream, and flavorless guac.


None, but the tricolor house chips were freakin on point.


A quaint sitdown restaurant inside the King’s Inn off Camino del Rey South (and right next to the 8). Open only foe an early dinner, it’s small karaoke stage, odd photos of Mexicans from the 1800s, and bar is what I imagine the finest Mexican joint in northern Minnesota is like. They already seem set up for the saddest Valentine’s day specials you could find in the crumbling budget motels of Hotel Circle. Their mascot, and center of much of the decorations, is a “Tijuana zebra”, a cultural oddity that most establishments that have socially evolved in the last fifty years now steers away from. The only other patrons were four old white guys in socks and sandals at the bar unironically praising Trump’s valiant policies for the Middle East, casually referring to Obama with racial slurs, and complaining about their poor Medicare coverage.

Pairs with:

Fountain Coke, no ice and rather warm.

Overall Score

5.5. All the outdated kitsch of Palm Springs with none of the pleasant charm.

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Poem #0: The Desolation of Smaug

The sun beats down on the hot asphalt of society
The ice cream that is my life melts in a sweltering inferno
Seeing my chocolatey happiness melt away
I raise my fist to the sky and curse the ancient gods:
“Thanks Obama”
But Obama deserves no thanks
For not even he knows why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Here’s a hint
There’s sugar in it
You’re welcome
The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma
First Spongebob reference of the poem
We’re off to a good start
Up in the sky!
It’s a bird!
It’s a plane!
No, its the glass ceiling
Wake up America
I’m like Bono:
No one wants to listen to my new album
“Knock knock”
Who’s there?
“White boys”
White boys who?
“lol wut wud u do if i wuz there with u ;) kik me”
You’re right
Benjamin Franklin would never use kik
Maybe Thomas Jefferson
Suddenly the heavens part
And a light like a thousand burning souls shine down
As I stare into the void of creation
I hear the voice of God himself:
“Who would win in a fight? Goku or Superman?”
No one wins under Capitalism
A smile creeps across Comrade Stalin’s face
“High five bruh”
My heart sinks
I want nothing more than to high five my Comrade
But sadly I am only an eel
Spongebob reference number 2
This is going great
I’m like Rasputin
Inaccurately portrayed in an animated film from 1997
And voiced by Christopher Lloyd
Great Scott
This is heavy
Like the weight of society
My heart’s like the inside of a Disney store
Entirely Frozen
But not even an Iron Curtain can hide my feelings
Mr. Gorbechev,
Tear down this wall concealing your emotions
Share your heart with the world
But do so in keeping with the Marxist doctrine
Quoth the Raven:
“Bush knew about 9/11”
Wake up America
But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
lol add me on Snapchat
White boys strike again
There will come a day when tomorrow does not matter
There will be no one left to care
No mother left to kiss her child’s bruises
No child left to rebel
No more laughter
No more tears
Just silence
And blackness
And then
When that day comes
Daylight Savings Time will still be a stupid idea
I’m like Walt Disney’s Aladdin
But I ain’t no hollaback girl
My eyes open
A single light bulb hangs from the ceiling
My eyes slowly adjust to the blinding glow
I become more aware of my surroundings
A leaky pipe
A door
Behind which is a set of creaky stairs
With every creak I become more conscious
There are no windows
Only the stench of stale blood, like rusting iron, hanging in the air
No wait
That is rusting iron
I finally make out the beaten and battered shape before my feet
It’s Optimus Prime
My heart leaps into my throat
I struggle as the wretched creaking grows louder and louder
Like Poe’s heart
The creaking becomes unbearable
And then is silenced
For a moment I miss the sweet torture of anticipation
For now standing before me is an evil above all others:
Michael Bay
I try to escape, but I am strapped down to the Ninja Turtles reboot
By what’s left of Megan Fox’s career
Michael Baywatch smiles
“You can’t escape me this time, Shia”
I look down at myself
I’ve suddenly transformed into Shia LaBeouf
Shia surprise
Michael Bay-once pulls out a dead horse and begins to beat Optimus Prime with it
I scream
Silly Shia LaBeouf
As I scream in pain, I suddenly awaken
It was all a dream
Like Wizard of Oz
Except nothing at all like Wizard of Oz
My jokes are like Adam Sandler movies
They stopped being funny a long time ago but for some reason I keep trying
I know the reason:
Corporate America!
Does whatever a spider can
Except resist the cold sting of Capitalism
More like Crap-italism!
Am I right guys?…
Am I right guys?…..
Am I right guys?…….
“Knock knock”
Who’s there?
Walter White dies at the end of Breaking Bad
But in the Latin alphabet, “Jehovah” begins with an “I”
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
“Damnit Jason! I knew we should’ve asked for directions!”
“I don’t need directions Cheryl
The Lord will show me the way.”
Sign up for christianmingle.com today
And the Lord said unto Jason:
“Bro just hop onto PCH and take the 110
Then get on the 405
And take the 90210
Until you get to the 8675309.”
And thus, Jason followed the Lord’s way
And got even more lost than before
Never take directions from religious figures
The word of the Lord
Thanks be to Morgan Freeman
But I would walk approximately 804.672 kilometers
And I would walk approximately 804.672 more
Just to be the man who walked approximately 1,609.344 kilometers
To fall down at your door
Falling down deeper and deeper into the darkness
The darkness of society
Suspended in the blackness
My spirit is torn apart
And burned with tongues of fire
Until I am nothing more than an empty husk
Trapped in the clutches of society
But through the hate and the pain
I hear a voice
The voice of an angel
It calls out to me from above
And a light shines down
Through the suffering I see the light
And hear four words
Four simple words
Ringing like the song of a church bell:
“This is my swamp”
The smell of onions permeate the air
I feel his presence
He’s here with me
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie
Chris Christie grabs my arm
And pulls me out of the fire
We fly away and hang out with the Cake Boss
Next week on Cake Boss:
Buddy makes a cake and his family acts really Italian
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is love
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is life
What’s in a name?
Would a meme by any other name be still as dank?
For you are the dancing queen
Young and free
Only 17
Zac Efron
Zac Efron has 8 letters in his name
Which is the exact amount of letters used to spell The Illuminati
If The Illuminati was spelled with 8 letters
Get’cha head in the game America
Out of the frying pan
Into the freezer section at Trader Joe’s
Do you know the muffin man,
The muffin man, the muffin man,
Do you know the muffin man,
Who lives on Drury Lane?
He owes me drug money

Regardless of what you think about Hillary; It’s almost embarrassing that a woman with her intelligence and qualifications will be forced, with a straight face, to debate a moron like Trump on live TV.

This woman has been a Yale graduate, lawyer, Flotus, twice-elected New York senator and US Secretary of State, ffs.

Trump’s biggest claim to fame prior to this election was firing Gary Busey on a bad reality TV show after he came up with the idea for a mechanical dog to accompany Ivanka Trump around.

We were somewhere in California. Obama was staying with us. It was understood that the modesty of our accommodations wasn’t a problem, now that he was no longer president. He looked 30 years younger than when we had last seen him. How we had missed him! I commented on what a tremendous relief it must be to be out of office. Even though we had been friends for years, I felt formal and self-conscious addressing him. 

The next day, we would attend a rally in Oakland. I asked how many would be there. 10, 20 or 100,000, it was thought. Leaving the building, I thought, all we would need to chant would be “Obama.” That would stand for  everything we needed to say.

Barack Obama enjoys kitesurfing with Richard Branson on British Virgin Islands

Former US president Barack Obama looked like he was having the time of his life while he was on vacation recently with billionaire Richard Branson in the Caribbean.

From the time Obama left office on 20 January, he has been on vacation with his wife Michelle Obama in Palm Springs, California, and then on Branson’s Necker Island.

Labour scores Brexit victory Theresa May gives MPs final vote on EU deal

On Tuesday, (7 February), the Virgin founder wrote on his blog that Obama spent two days learning how to stay afloat and kite surf. “It was a huge honour to be able to invite President Barack and Michelle Obama down to the British Virgin Islands for a complete break after Barack finished his second term as President and the family left the White House.”

Branson recounted “One of the first stories Barack told me when he and Michelle arrived on Moskito Island was how, just before he became President, he had been surfing on a dangerous break in Hawaii.”

From teacher’s pet to teacher’s husband to President of France?

The businessman said that he and the former president challenged each other to see if Obama could learn to kite surf before Branson learned how to foil board.

“As you can see in the video, Barack and I both fell many times, but we kept trying again and again and made progress over the days.”

Suspected child rapist’s trailer decorated with 1,000 pairs of little girls’ underwear

“We were neck and neck until the last run on the last day, when I got up on the foilboard and screamed along for over 50 meters, three feet above the water,” Branson wrote. “I was feeling very pleased with myself, only to look over and see Barack go 100 meters on his kiteboard! I had to doff my cap to him and celebrate his victory.”

He added: “After all he has done for the world, I couldn’t begrudge him his well-deserved win”.

The former president and first lady have returned to Washington DC, where they are renting a home just two miles from the White House, until their daughter Sasha Obama finishes high school.

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Tommy Ho from California wrote to President Obama about banning conversion therapy for gay youths:

Dear Mr. President:

I’d like to thank you for taking a stand in banning the use of conversion therapy for gay youths. You are the first sitting US President who has made so much positive impact in civil rights and the equal rights movement. Your ideals stand for For the People By the People. I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your efforts and my tremendous respect for what you have done and accomplished for the civic rights movements for the LGBT citizens. June is a typically the Pride Month. If there’s an event in the White House to celebrate the Pride month, I’d love to come in person and to THANK YOU in person. I came to this country 30 years ago as an immigrant, and am a proud American.

Yours Sincerely,
Tommy Ho

But, it’s not just Tommy. Today on Spirit Day, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) released a new report called “Ending Conversion Therapy: Supporting and Affirming LGBTQ Youth.” The report provides an in-depth review of research and clinical expertise related to conversion therapy. This important new resource makes it clear that conversion therapy is not appropriate, and explores alternative ways to discuss sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression with young people. Read the full report from SAMHSA here.

It is funny that white terrorism on American soil (Lanza, Roof, Holmes) only ever elicits a "Meh, whatever. Shit happens. We all still love our guns!" reply. Whereas Islamic terrorism has everyone going absolutely crazy and, FINALLY, asking why the (NRA-backed) GOP are blocking bills to stop extremely dangerous people from getting guns.

Sad? Yes. Surprising? No. 

Seriously: Every American needs to read Shirley Jackson’s The Lottery and think about it in the context of these mass shootings and the San Bernadino news.

Basically: In this story, every year an innocent person gets slaughtered needlessly to maintain a deeply fucked up status quo and keep everyone happy.

And the main female character never ever cares or thinks about how unfair it is. Until she ends up the victim herself.