The Foolish Dwarf

Request: Hi there! I saw you were opening requests and I’m so excited^^I was wondering, if it’s not too much trouble, if you could do a Nori or Bofur story, where they try to express their feelings for the reader, but het all young tied and nervous and strange things come out instead of words of love^^Love your stories!!

A/N: Thank you for the request and support! So here it is, I really like how this turned out and I hope that you and everyone else will be pleased!

Word count: 988

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Unadulterated Crack part 2

pairings: Thorin x reader

warnings: None? 

word count: 6,000+

Author’s note: uhh, I wrote this around thanksgiving and christmas so you’re gonna have to deal with holiday feels in May. Also I made the quest start in fall so yeah.

After insisting they get an extra pony for Bilbo, everyone had a pony, and their supplies were on their horses, despite you assuring them they wouldn’t need half of them with you there, you set off. When the dwarves were making their bets about whether Bilbo would show or not, you said, “I bet you that he shows up. I also bet you he quickly realized he forgot his handkerchief and insists we turn back to get it.”

Kili said, “I bet you he remembers it! He’s practically attached at the hip to that thing.”

When Bilbo showed up, you turned to Thorin and quirked an eyebrow at him as he said, “Give him a pony.” After Bilbo was on said pony, and everyone tossed around the betting gold, Bilbo did indeed realize he forgot his handkerchief and demanded everyone stop. You looked at Kili, held out your hand, and said, “Pony up bitch.”

Kili smirked at you, and handed you a single coin, you glared at him. Before you could growl at him, he said, “You need to be specific with what you want before agreeing to something. Otherwise people will take advantage of you.” then looked like he was bracing himself for a scolding. But instead, you simply threw back your head and laughed, “Right you are! You are very clever Kili, and you presented it with wit, and tact might I add. You’ve got spunk kid, and I love spunk. Here have this as a reward.” putting the coin he gave you in the bag with the coins Dwalin and Nori gave you, and tossed it to him.

Fili cried, “Hey! Why does he get free money he didn’t earn?" 

 You smirked at him and chuckled, "Oh he earned it, I was not expecting that at all. If you remember what I said before, your world provides me very little mental stimulation. So I’ll take it where I can get it, and reward them for it. Plus because I wanted to give it to him, and it was mine to give. If you were smart, you would have kept your mouth shut and tested to see if I’d give more out  in return for making me laugh, or enjoy something.”

Kili piped up, “Yeah, what she said.” as his older brother pouted.

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Queen Of Erebor

Originally posted by tallian

@sherala007 @everyjourneylove @pandepirateprincess and anyone else that likes Thorin.

It wasn’t long after your marriage to Thorin Oakenshield that you were making preparations for the coronation as queen. Your nerves really got next to you and not even Dis herself could soothe your anxious heart. But she did know who could.

Thorin found you pacing in one of the outer corridors mumbling to yourself.

  “Are you well my petal? Is something the matter?” He asked out of curiosity. “My sister tells me you are anxious about tomorrow’s coronation.”

You turned to him.

   “Indeed I am my lord.” You repled with tension rising from your lungs.

  “How many times have I told you not to call me that? I am Thorin to you. I am your husband first, king second.”

You took a deep breath and nodded. You remembered the day you walked down the aisle and repeated your vows to your one and only. But the coronation…you were going to be standing in front of Mahal knows how many people. Certainly more than the guests at the wedding. Elves, Men, hobbits, dwarves…they were all going to be there.

He sensed your fear and took you by the hand, and led you to a small balcony nearby overlooking the landscape.

  “Look out there amralime. What do you see?”

You examined the night sky and the land down below. “Well, I see Kili and Fili courting their maidens.”

He chuckled. “No. What do you really see?”

  “I’m sorry. I’m not catching on.”

He redirected your gaze. “Look around you. All of this is going to be yours tomorrow. You and I will share this as husband and wife. Think about it.” He paused and smiled joyfully, as if he was thinking about it himself. “Queen of Erebor.”

You regained a small portion of confidence as you heard those words. Queen of Erebor. Yea, that sounded appealing. You had the entire kingdom at your footstool, ready to move at your command.

The next morning, you walked down the aisle once more, and approached the throne with ease. Kili and Fili stood majestically at Thorin’s side.

Balin instructed you to kneel before him as he brought out the crown.

  “Do you, Y/N, promise to rule at your husband’s side to the best of your ability?” He bellowed.

  “I do, and I will.” You said with strength.

  “Then I now crown you, Y/N, as Queen of Erebor. Stand and join Thorin at the top of the steps.”

You nearly tripped over your heavy royal robes, and caught Kili chuckling at you. You threw him a playful gaze and smiled as the crowd cheered for their newly crowned.


bilbo “im gonna use this ring of ultimate power to avoid uncomfortable social situations” baggins (insp.)

i cant believe i spent several hours of the only life ill ever have drawing this…….. worth it.