oak chapel

if you’re ever sad just remember you lived at the same time that Lin-Manuel Miranda rose to fame as principle cinnamon roll of america™

Losing to You ( Taekook mpreg)

Chapter 1    Chapter 2   Chapter 3   Chapter 4    Chapter 5

Chapter 6

“Taehyung? Taehyung?”

Jung Kook heard his mother’s frantic shouts and grinned , shaking his head as he slowly fixed the cufflinks on his shirt. He stared at himself in the mirror, satisfied with the clean-cut CEO look he had going . It was the morning of his wedding and objectively, he knew he looked very good. 

His husband-to-be was currently hiding from his mother, locked in the bedroom of his suite with his best friend,  Jung Hoseok. At first Jung Kook had been horrified to find Taehyung outside the door of his dressing room , looking like death. He had been accomapanied by a tall, bright eyed young man with a beautiful smile, who had introduced himself as Jung Hoseok.

Taehyung had begged him to let him use his room to get ready because , quote “ Your mother is so scary, she keeps trying to make me wear eyeliner”

Jung kook had agreed , only to be kicked out of his own bedroom with Jung Hoseok warning him not to come in .

“ it’s bad luck to see the groom before the wedding.” He had intoned dully.

Jung kook laughed again and gave his hair one last spritz of spray and grabbed his jacket. He moved to the door of his bedroom and knocked lightly.

“Tae?” He called out.

“Kookie?” Taehyung’s voice was muffled through the wood and Jung kook felt a bit of fondness for the other, the nickname making him feel like a schoolboy.

“I’m going to the chapel. I’ll see you there, right?” He called out, teasingly.

A little giggle that was probably not Taehyung.

“Uh.. Sure Jung Kook.”

Stepping out of the suite, he shrugged into his jacket and found himself smiling. To be perfectly honest, he wasn’t upset at ll about marrying Taehyung. Taehyung was one of the nicest people he had ever met , beautiful inside and out. He knew that there was no one else he would rather be doing this with. Sighing, he glanced at the small ring on his finger, the one that Eunha had slipped on, nearly three years ago. He’d never taken it off for the past three years.

He loved Eunha and he cared deeply for Taehyung.

Hopefully he could live out this year of marriage without hurting either of them.

He carefully slipped the ring off his finger and dropped it into his pocket before taking the lift down to the chapel.


Taehyung stood nervously, hands empty as he fiddled with the hem of his sweater. He knew he looked good: the stylist had left his hair alone, falling in soft attractive bangs on his face, the pale golden shade bringing out the sparkle in his eyes and blending beautifully with the ivory white sweater and the snow white fabric of his silk shirt.

 The White jeans were impossibly comfortable, fitting snug around his waist without digging into the skin. The inside was felt lined and soft as velvet against his skin and Taehyung wanted to sob at how considerate jung Kook had been, pointing out every single feauture to the designer when he’d ordered it. It didn’t seem fair somehow, that fate had tossed him Jeon Jung kook, as if to just flaunt the kind of wonderful life he would never  ever have for himself.

He wore sneakers because Jung kook had insisted that he wear comfortable shoes . It was raining lightly and he said that he did not want Taehyung slipping on any puddle of water the guests may have carried in. The huge oak doors of the Chapel were closed and from inside, he could hear the fain tones of the Minister as he spoke about matrimony. Taehyung glanced slowly at the man on his side, eyes wide and happy.

“You look breathtaking , Tae.” Hoseok whispered and Taehyung , for once felt good about the compliment. He could do this for Jung kook. He could look beautiful. There wasn’t much else of worth in him but he could look beautiful for the man who had helped him so much.

And it seemed he had succeeded.

The moment he stepped in, Jung Kook turned slowly, his smiling face freezing into a look of such blatant wonder that Taehyung almost felt like he’s been set on fire. Jung Kook’s eyes went wide, lips parting as he let out his breath in a whoosh , as though the sight of Taehyung had punched the air right out of his lungs. Taehyung almost stumbled at the visceral reaction , his steps faltering as Jung Kook licked dry lips, before his teeth sunk into his lower lip , before curling into a wide breathtaking smile.

Taehyung forgot every thing else, just the sight of jung Kook waiting for him drawing him closer and closer to the other , till he reached his side.

“Spectacular.” Jung Kook breathed out softly.  " There’s really no other word to describe you Kim Taehyung. i’m so lucky. “

And Taehyung’s mind short circuited .

He was getting married to this handsome , kind, amazing man and he didn’t know why or how he had managed to end up here. 

He was getting married.


“I’m so sorry…. “ Taehyung kept apologizing, cradling Taemin in his arms, trying to sooth the sobbing boy while Taejoon stood with both arms wrapped around his legs. The added curve of his belly made it hard to carry the toddler and next to them, both Yonngi and Hoseok were trying to calm the twins as well but to no avail. 

Taemin and Taejoon had both been very quiet during the ceremony but now that they realized their hyung was going to go away with the strange man , they had latched themselves to Tae and refused to let go. Taehyung felt miserable, tired and exhausted . He was worried about seeing the kids upset but at the same time, he knew that he was horribly inconveniencing Jung kook and his family, all of whom were standing a dozen or so feet away waiting to drive the newly weds to their new home. 

But Jung Kook ignored the impatient looks on his family’s faces, opting to stand behind Taehyung, just in case the elder lost his balance. He brushed the hair off Taemin’s face and tried to mollify the child as well.

“it’s alright, Tae. Take your time. “ He said firmly and Taehyung sighed. 

it was another hour at least before the twins calmed down and only after Yoongi and Hoseok bought them ice cream and promised to take them to the zoo in the weekend.

“Tae hyung and I will be there too. We can all go have fun.” Jung Kook had chimed in brightly , making Tae blink in surprise.

Later, when they finally managed to say good bye to the rest of them, climbing into the back of Jung kook’s car  Jung kook quickly pushed the seats back and moved to the corner, holding his arms out and prompting Tae to lean on him. Tae turned to him and couldn’t resist the offer , bone weary and aching from the hours of activity. 

He settled back against Jung Kook’s broad chest, sighing when the latter’s hands came around him to rest gently on the curve of his stomach, thumb rubbing soothing circles on the skin through the fabric of his sweater. 

“You really didn’t have to tell them we’ll go to the zoo..”

“i wanted to. I like the both of them. I’m suprised you didn’t bring them along with us.” Jung kook said curiously.

Taehyung hesitated, not wanting to tell Jung kook that he hadn’t wanted the twins near him. 

“Yoongi and Hoseok love them . They’re probably better equipped to take care of the twins then i’ll ever be.” He said softly.

He hesitated just a bit before continuing.

“They want to formally adopt them. I’ve been thinking about it.” He said with a sigh.

Jung kook hummed.

“It’s not a bad idea. should give them a sense of security as they grow up.”

Taehyung nodded. 

“I know they’ll take really good care of them as well. They’ll teach them the right things. Yoongi and Hoseok… they seem so different at first glance but they really love each other and i think my brothers deserve to grow up… in a house that is filled with love.” 

Jung Kook stayed quiet for a second before lightly grabbing Taehyung’s hand in his. 

“if you want me to help you with it, just let me know. i can speed things up and we can do it really quickly.” He said softly. 

Taehyung hesitated. 

“I don’t want to trouble you…”

“Tae, come on. it’s going to take a couple of phone calls at the most. I just want you to feel at ease. Worrying can’t be good for the baby.” He moved his hand back to Tae’s stomach and as if on cue, his little girl gave a kick. 

Taheyung jolted and Jung Kook whooped in surprised.

“Wow… is that…” He sounded awed , lightly pushing Tae till he was facing him, still in the circle of his embrace and Taehyung laughed.

“The baby …yes.” 

“wow.” And then without warning Taehyung felt his muscles contract and he winced.

“What… what’s wrong?” Jung kook panicked and Taehyung managed a weak smile, trying to calm him down.

“it’s fine.. i’m just…. I get contractions sometimes. It must be because of how long we stood today.” 

“Fuck… i’m so sorry Tae….”

“Don’t it’s not your fault….”

“Should I… What can i do? to help?” Jung kook looked so serious, so worried that taehyun g felt a piece of him just melt . 

“I… I’ll be fine… Can I lie down though?” He said softly. 

Jung Kook pulled back quickly, wrapping an arm around his waist and helping him lean down and slowly lay on the pillow. Jung Kook lay next to him, spooning him from the back and Taehyung sighed in relief. 

“You’re so good to me.” He whispered.

Jung Kook chuckled.

“go to bed baby. I’ll wake you up in the morning. We have some where special to go.” jung kook’s voice was low and calming, rumbling through Taehyung’s body as he pressed against jung Kook’s chest. 

Taehyung felt the soft press of jung kook’s lips to his forehead and his eyes drooped, lashes brushing the curve of his cheeks as he slowly fell asleep. 


Somewhere special turned out to be the Hospice where his father was. 

Taehyung stared in stunned disbelief as he took in the small lawn of the hospice, decorated to look like something out of a fairy tale. There were satin draped chairs, wooden framed trellises with bright pastel flowers in yellows and pinks and whites. up front a small podium rose out of the lawn and Taehyung blinked when he recognized the minister from their wedding.

“Jung kook?”

“i thought it was only fair that your father should be at your wedding….” He whispered, kissing the top of his head and Taehyung felt the tears fall in gratitude.

“Jung Kook…”

“Shush… don’t cry. Father’s getting ready and i’m going to wear my tux. You should let him walk you down the aisle. i’ll be waiting for you Taehyung…”

And as his father came out looking frail but proud in a old wrinkled tux, Taehyung felt a starburst of love for the man he had married. 

The sun was bright in the sky and as Tae took his father’s hand, walking down the small pathway to the podium up front, the rays seemed to light jung kook up from the inside out and he really looked like an angel. 

And Taehyung knew, just then that he fallen completely and utterly in love with Jeon Jung Kook. 

This is the Chêne-Chapelle (Chapel Oak) of Allouville-Bellefosse in northern France. It is between 800 and 1,200 years old, and in the 17th century the local curé built a chapel inside it, believing that the lightning that struck the tree and hollowed it out was an event with a divine purpose. It has an altar for saying mass and a “hermit’s room” on the floor above! Photo by Thomas Pakenham, from Remarkable Trees of the World.


Stained with purple
and fever,
the night
in deep pharaoh sleep
busy bees meanders deep

through the ages
through fire and fog
with my command
drag him
out of his dream.

That, which was risen or dug
by the eighth year
drenched by rivers and cold,
marked by tombs,
that, to be searched for alone;

the story,
hid and giveth
to the temple,
to the pharaoh,
now watchfully received.

I have come to get you,

Rosetta Stone.

Mountain hands,
ever so softly—sweeping
through desert night land
with pyramids pointing, under,
like stone table’s serpent, under.

Fire came
then water came
to the land
of overdrive and overload,

the first born,
no one told,
in god’s clothes,
with the heart of a desert oak,

temples, shrines and chapels,
fiery furnace – lit up.



Why do you
why own it
why tell her
you’d leave her
own reasons
to know her

unknown one,
young desert gold,
struck down
with this double house
to the ground,

and behold.

I’m Not Going Anywhere

So I wrote a thing because of feels, and because I am STILL awake..jet lag is kicking my butt. Anyway, I hope you all like.. please let me know if its rubbish, or how I can improve etc. 

I’m Not Going Anywhere

“People in here are waiting”

Patsy gave Delia that signature lopsided smile as she felt her heart burst with happiness, and slight alarm at the abrupt interruption. They could have so easily been caught, but she was there, her Delia was standing just inches from her.

She had pictured Delia every day since the accident, catching glimpses of her in the park, down the cobbled streets. She dreamt every night of seeing her again, that the accident had never happened at all, and of that awful day itself. The nightmares were the worst, watching the accident as if from above, unable to move, or replaying Delia’s face as she recoiled from Patsy’s touch, scared and pale in the hospital bed. Vivid and emotive she often awoke in a sweat, her heart pounding against her chest like a caged animal. 

On those nights, moving as quietly as she could so as not to wake Trixie, she would take out her favourite photograph of Delia, curled and crumpled from being handled so often, stained from the tears that fell no matter how hard she had tried to stop them. Patsy would creep from her bed and down to the dusky chapel, oak floors mottled with the blues and reds of the stained glass windows. She would sit on the window ledge and gaze out over the darkened alleyway illuminated only by the flicker of the streetlamps and would try to picture happier times; Delia beaming as she chatted about painting their living room yellow, or the time they had to invent an excuse for being in the bathroom together when one of the other trainees had heard the shrieks of their impromptu water fight. She would sit for hours until her limbs became stiff with cold, or more often than not, she was shaken awake by Trixie, who had gone searching for her missing roommate and had found Patsy asleep against the window clutching the picture of Delia to her chest. Although she must have suspected, Trixie never questioned but just helped her friend back to her bed, or straight in for a hot bath if it was nearly time for her shift.

Giving Delia’s hand a quick squeeze Patsy whispered “Come on, let me walk you to your bus stop”. Heading out of the phone box they nodded to the gentleman and apologised before swiftly making their way down towards the railway bridge, but not so quickly so as to arouse suspicion.

As they neared the bridge Delia pulled Patsy to a stop.

“What, what is it? Did you forget something in the phone box? I don’t think we can rightly go back; the gentleman will get frightfully cross if we interrupt him.” Delia grinned at her, she quickly glanced around before grabbing Patsy’s coat collar and pulling her into a close embrace.

“Yes, I did forget something” she whispered before giving Patsy a soft, fleeting kiss. Patsy sighed and smiled as Delia pulled away, turning her head down towards the floor. Despite the darkness Delia knew that Patsy was blushing. It was one of her favourite things about the tall red head. Every time they had kissed, of which there were only a handful, Patsy would flush such a colour that her cheeks nearly matched her perfectly styled hair. It was endearing and Delia felt so privileged that she, and only she could get such a beautiful reaction from the ever composed Nurse Mount.

Patsy relished the sensation of Delia’s kiss. The soft subtleness of her lips, and how she could feel Delia smiling against her.  As the kiss came to an end she stared down at her shoes, cheeks aflame. How did she always feel like an overly excited teenager whenever Delia kissed her? However, this time there was also something different in the way Patsy felt. Like a lovesick school girl, yes, but she also felt – she couldn’t put her finger on it. Emboldened maybe? Whatever it was, Patsy suddenly snapped her head up and, taking Delia’s hand she tugged them both into the small obscured pathway behind them. Pinning Delia to the brick wall she breathlessly stared down at her, chest heaving, cupping Delia’s cheek in her hand. Leaning down she desperately reconnected their lips and kissed Delia with all she could muster. She poured all of the agony of the past few months into the kiss, all of the want and desperation to see her again. All of the love that she had kept stored up under lock and key.

Delia took a moment to respond. Patsy had never initiated such a physical show of her affection before. Feeling Patsy run her tongue across her lips, Delia moaned, granting her entry and kissed her back, the joy of having her love in her arms once more overwhelming. Only when she felt a wetness on her cheek did Delia pull away once more.

“Darling Pats, whatever is the matter?” Delia brought both hands up to Patsy’s face, tear tracks streaking across her cheeks like little streams across a field. “Oh my darling” she said wiping the fresh tears away.

“P..Please don’t leave again. I…I can’t… just please…” Patsy choked out, eyes swimming with sadness. Powder blue met emerald as Delia looked Patsy in the eye “I will never” she breathed out softly. “I love you, Patience Mount, always have, always will” and, kissing her with every word, she said resolutely “I’m not going anywhere Pats”.