The main thing pirates have going for them here is that one tumblr post about how pirates were surprising gay-friendly and open to queer kinship structures, which is a thing I feel v strongly about. Also the possibility of adventure (if you lived that long) and not having to wear stupidly heavy armor or joust for the amusement of the wealthy. And cursing. And drinking. Those are all pros.
But I reallllllly like a good shower or bath (and am v grumpy if I go too long without one). A soft bed. Fresh produce. Good teeth. (I know someone who got scurvy once apparently it’s as bad as it sounds.) Clean clothes. Occasional sobriety. Not living on a tiny wooden boat, or with the constant knowledge that a rouge wave could take us all out at any second. And I don’t tan so much as turn red and then start peeling, and that hurts and is not a look. Basically I’m not sure I would enjoy the good parts of pirating if things were that gross and precarious? (And tbh, I feel like historically, queers have found a way, you know?)
So basically, bc I am fond of creature comforts and stability, and am not fond of spending time on the open ocean in an overgrown canoe filled with rats, knight.
(tumblr disclaimer: i am not a historian and may be inadvertently misrepresenting the social structures and lifestyles of knights and/or pirates, corrections welcome)
What people think I mean:
I get off on violence. I think hate sex is the best, don't think healthy and stable relationships are 'interesting' enough, and I purposefully sabotage all my relationships. I frequently ship characters with their abusers and consider dragging someone along and domestic violence 'grey areas' because if you look at context it really just means they love each other.
What I actually mean:
I love it when two people who hate each other, whether it be seemingly clashing personalities, or actual literal enemies (always enemies who balance each other out. Not 'anti-hero/villain guy constantly harasses heroine girl', but two people who are evenly matched and can hold their own against each other and even in hatred have somewhat respect for the other) who are fighting on opposite sides of a struggle, come together on equal ground and realize that they have more in common than they previously thought. When the two finally join the same side, whether it's due to the redemption of one character or what have you, they may not get along at first, but with time and effort the two eventually find themselves friends with the other. Only *after* they have an established trust and friendship do they then start to have romantic feelings for the other. The 'enemies to lovers' trope does not work if you cannot put 'friend' between the two.