o.s.i

Brock headcanons

1. Always keeps a photo of the boys in his wallet. When people assume they’re his sons, he doesn’t always correct them.

2. Does the majority of the chores around the house, along with H.E.L.P.eR.. Rusty has very little patience for them, and even if Brock forces him into it, it always ends with half-folded laundry shoved in the wrong places.

3. After enough years of this, Brock actually kind of enjoys doing the laundry/dishes/etc. If you make a joke about him being a housewife, he will literally tear your head off.

4. However, making meals is pretty much split evenly between them, as Rusty enjoys cooking. Brock is a surprisingly good cook.

5. Though he’s very private about it, Brock is surprisingly sentimental and takes/keeps a lot of pictures. He has polaroids at the bottom of a drawer of his family, school photos (almost nothing of middle school: he had braces), joining the army, O.S.I. buddies, the boys growing up, etc. Also, crayon drawings the boys made for him when they were little.

6. Bisexual and completely clueless about it. Thinks he’s straight as an arrow, spends very little time questioning this. Would never think otherwise unless he somehow actually ended up in a relationship with another man.

7. Worries a lot more than he’d ever let on. O.S.I. training means he’s a very light sleeper, and sometimes paces the house at night while trying to get tired, so he’ll go check on Rusty a few times to make sure he didn’t get kidnapped in his sleep. Same thing with the boys. If he wakes up to a noise in the middle of the night, he checks it out - no exceptions.

8. He loves being huge, even if it’s harder to shop for clothes. It really fucks with him when someone else is taller than him. It really, really fucks with him when a woman is taller than him.

9. Actually finds the Monarch likable, which is why he had no problem with helping out at the wedding in multiple ways, and had a blast fighting him in “Are You There, God? It’s Me, Dean”. Sure, Brock also thinks he can be a douchebag, but he really doesn’t mind him much.

10. He flexes in the mirror. All the time.