Carmilla’s Cheering Up Speeches

Season One:

Carmilla: Alright, just stop all of this before I get queasy. Cupcake, you are ridiculous and headstrong and naïve and this whole Lois Lane Junior gig is doomed, okay? But unless you’re going around kidnapping girls for some ancient unspeakable evil, nothing that’s happening right now is your fault.

Season Two:

Carmilla: You know, saving the world would be a whole lot easier if you could just remain innocent. If your conscience was always clear and you never made mistakes… but a moment of forgetting to care isn’t the same as a lifetime of apathy, OK? And yes. You – you made a mess. But Vordenberg, and Mattie, and I – we all had – we all had a hand in this and you didn’t do it alone. I might not always like the choices you make or the way things turned out, but I think it would be infinitely more tragic if you let that stop you from trying…If you let it turn you into me.

Season Three:

Carmilla: Look you’re struggling, okay? And you’re allowed to. Because, cupcake, the Universe is huge, and it’s arbitrary and uncaring. You know, one moment you can get sucked into a Hell pit and the next moment you can get pulverized by a meteor, and really in the grand spectrum of things it’ll mean nothing.

Laura: If this is your cheering up speech, it needs a little work.

Carmilla: Okay, well, I was evil for the better part of three centuries, so, you know, give me a break. The point is, if nothing means anything than the only thing that means something is what we make. You know? I mean, look at me. I used to use hopelessness as an excuse for all of the awful things that I did. Until this…prissy little overachiever…that I was totally planning on handing over to my mother unraveled all of my plans. Because she thought we all deserved better. Even me. And, yeah, you are flawed. And struggling, and uncertain, but it is so beautiful. The way you try.


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I don’t really give a damn about your man hating jokes, but some of yall are normalizing girls abusing and controlling their boyfriends.

Fucking stop humiliating your boyfriend in front of his friends, stop making him feel bad/guilty for not spending every single fucking second of his life with you, stop being a petty bitch everytime he doesn’t text back, stop yelling at him or hurting him, stop going batshit when he’s uncomfortable with you going through his phone, fucking stop accusing him of cheating just because he talks to other girls or hangs out with other girls.

I am sick and tired of you guys normalizing this shit. You’re normalizing abuse and yet you guys suddenly can’t read whenever someone calls out these harmful jokes.

If you don’t support controlling and abusive boyfriends, don’t reblog/make jokes of abusive and controlling girlfriends.