nyqolas

“Portraits of The Unseen”
Model: Desmend Fregoso
Nyqolas Andrew Hale

Artist’s Statement:

   I wanted to specifically write under this shot for the sheer fact that the personality he expresses here is important if not to anyone else, then to myself. It’s cliche, effortless, and yet…there is so much sentiment behind his smile that explains much of who he is.
    It’s truly rare when you meet an individual who inspires you on a similar wavelength. Misunderstood, strange, holding odd views of which the world sort of deters…I think I get the kid better than he gets me. He’s strange and I appreciate that. We’re both dominant individuals who hold individuality on a pedestal and, although he may get annoying to me at times because he talks about his relationship with the Zen lifestyle and “the flow” of things, I appreciate what he holds important. After all, we all have our likes and dislikes in things. I’m sure he can think of plenty of things that peeve him about myself, but it’s fine.
    What we dislike in each other is often what we disregard because our views are unimportant to each other. It’s how it goes with any and everyone you meet. Well, one would hope. His music, who he is, his family…they’re all relatable. I’ve gotten along with him in a way I haven’t with much of anyone at ELAC. He’s seen sides of me other people have only wished to see in me and I’m ok with that. Same goes for him. Day by day, he lets another wall down and we learn more about one another every time we hang out. He and I are both lone wolves in our lives. It’s nice not to feel alone here and I think we’re learning to overcome that, within ourselves, whenever we get a chance to have a one on one with one another. Our lives collided thanks to a cigarette of which I could only thank Benson & Hedges for allowing us to meet each other.
    Nonetheless, he’s an amazing character and I would very much like to be his friend until my end, should he allow me. He intrigues me and inspires me. That’s important in every friendship and I think he can also agree.

Someone Named Desmend: Deus Ex Machina

I don’t know how to express my gratitude. In my mind, I neither deserve friendship or happiness for the sins I’ve made…yet, you looked passed them. I’m undergoing a sort of bittersweet happiness. It’s bitter for the fact that I feel like I’m ready to let go of my past and stop living in it. “I think God brought me here to help make you happy again.” When you left, I cried. I’ll admit it. It was because no one ever noticed my sadness in my self-portraits…yet, with a glance, you understood me and stated that.

  You didn’t tell me any bullshit like “There’s no need to be sad.” Instead, you recognized a humanistic tendency in myself that I thought no one else would notice…and consoled me with your presence. I proudly shed those tears seeing as though they felt like they were promised sacrifices to the gods who, I thought, were ignoring me. You’ve already become so important within a short amount of time. I appreciate the person you are and I admire your unwavering soul. Thanks for not considering me weird like everyone else. Just…thank you, Desmend.

So, guys…I finally gave her the ring she deserves. I’m working to get her one even more elegant, but I know this ring fits her. Though, no amount of jewelry can show her my love enough…I believe this beautiful gem describes her as pure as I see her. I’m going to marry you, Blue…and I’m going to be the happiest man on earth when I do.

Ode To A New Year

Lose a few things, this upcoming year. Lose your hostility, lose your worry, your spite, your agony, self-righteous outlook on the world, bitterness toward others, anger towards people who once meant the world to you, separatist mentality, and your waning confidence. Find yourself anew midst this new year with new memories, new triumphs, new cares, and new outcomes. 

Take this new year, in hand, and love yourself. Love your life for what it is and what it isn’t. Take the time to realize what you have and discard what you do not because you live in the present. All you have is to be grateful for what is tangible; for what you can simply grasp. Your love, your friendship, your family, your possessions…they are yours. 

Take the time to remember them and remember that they are a part of you. Even those who have come and gone, in the time that has passed. Those memories are a part of you, as well, though not tangible. Take the time to be you this year. Let no one else enjoy it as an immediate outcome. Allow them to be secondary as you enjoy being yourself. C'est la vie.

The difference between a boy, when it comes to befriending another, and a man is this: A boy will accept another person for who he/she says they are. A man will accept another based on whether their actions match who they say they are. The only way they are similar, in this matter, is that they are both quick to disband what they don’t want or like.

The reason why I didn’t mention women is because women hate the other individual from the start and work towards liking them through contact as well as time. Perhaps, in this regard, women have a better idea of things.

—  Nyqolas Andrew Hale