nyqolas andrew hale

Ode To A New Year

Lose a few things, this upcoming year. Lose your hostility, lose your worry, your spite, your agony, self-righteous outlook on the world, bitterness toward others, anger towards people who once meant the world to you, separatist mentality, and your waning confidence. Find yourself anew midst this new year with new memories, new triumphs, new cares, and new outcomes. 

Take this new year, in hand, and love yourself. Love your life for what it is and what it isn’t. Take the time to realize what you have and discard what you do not because you live in the present. All you have is to be grateful for what is tangible; for what you can simply grasp. Your love, your friendship, your family, your possessions…they are yours. 

Take the time to remember them and remember that they are a part of you. Even those who have come and gone, in the time that has passed. Those memories are a part of you, as well, though not tangible. Take the time to be you this year. Let no one else enjoy it as an immediate outcome. Allow them to be secondary as you enjoy being yourself. C’est la vie.

I was so keen on not believing a person, like me, could ever fall in love…but I am so guilty of it. I’m welcome to giving up everything I previously adopted if it’s for her. 3 months and I’m already so enveloped in everything. How oddly beautiful. I love her. I never thought it would come to this, but I do. Because I’ve said it…I’m going to do my best to make it forever. After all, she’s the only one I’ve ever felt this for. Truly and wholeheartedly…I love her. I truly do.

Someone Named Desmend: Deus Ex Machina

I don’t know how to express my gratitude. In my mind, I neither deserve friendship or happiness for the sins I’ve made…yet, you looked passed them. I’m undergoing a sort of bittersweet happiness. It’s bitter for the fact that I feel like I’m ready to let go of my past and stop living in it. "I think God brought me here to help make you happy again." When you left, I cried. I’ll admit it. It was because no one ever noticed my sadness in my self-portraits…yet, with a glance, you understood me and stated that.

  You didn’t tell me any bullshit like “There’s no need to be sad.” Instead, you recognized a humanistic tendency in myself that I thought no one else would notice…and consoled me with your presence. I proudly shed those tears seeing as though they felt like they were promised sacrifices to the gods who, I thought, were ignoring me. You’ve already become so important within a short amount of time. I appreciate the person you are and I admire your unwavering soul. Thanks for not considering me weird like everyone else. Just…thank you, Desmend.