Hanna, Spencer, Aria, Emily, and I were seated at our usual table at the Brew. It was a cool Saturday afternoon when Spencer texted all of us to meet at our old favorite hangout. Even though the cafe was familiar, it was strange to be back since Allison wasn’t around.
I got chills just thinking of my dead frenemy. It had been months since her body was found and I still wasn’t over it.
“Right, we all got texts after the funeral from A, right? Well, I’ve been getting more since,” Spencer said. “How about you guys?” Aria hesitated. “Yeah, I have too.”
“Same,” Emily said.
“Unfortunately, I have been getting the creep’s texts too,” Hanna said.
They all turned to look at me and I shrugged.
“They haven’t bothered me since the funeral,” I muttered before sipping my black coffee.
“What?” My four friends hissed in unison.
“How…why?” Emily asked.
I shrugged again. “I don’t know, I guess I’m the most innocent out of all of us.”
At that, all of my friends scoffed and laughed.
“Yeah, right. I don’t think you have an innocent bone in your body,” Spencer said.
“You are the same Y/N Y/L/N who took ecstasy at the fall dance, right?” Aria asked.
“And the same Y/N who snuck into hotel parties and stole free booze,” Emily said.
“Okay, I get it. I’ve done some scandalous things, but everyone in Rosewood knew about it,” I said with a laugh. “Besides, I’ve changed. My time in Japan really calmed me down and I learned that there’s more to life than nonstop partying.”
“We’ll see about that,” Hanna said. “But don’t put the old Y/N away for too long; she’s fun.”
“She’s also destructive.”
“But Y/N has a point, maybe A’s leaving her alone because she did everything in the open,” Spencer said.
“Yeah, well, the rest of us couldn’t exactly be honest about our stuff,” Hanna muttered.
Even though it was nice not to be harassed by some mysterious freak, I kind of wanted the treatment just so I could be in the same boat as my friends. I felt bad for not suffering and I was positive that I had done worst things than them when Alison was alive. Some people said that I was worse than her in some aspects. However, I never bullied anyone, I just never really discouraged Allison from doing so.
Spencer was leading the discussion for a plan when Emily gasped.
“What?” Aria gasped.
“Look at who just walked in,” Emily whispered.
We all turned and time seemed to slow down. Jason Dilaurentis had walked into the Brew and everything seemed to stopped. Patrons stopped their conversations and employees paused from taking orders as they observed Alison’s older brother approach the cashier. Jason didn’t really look at anyone and his expression was grave. I was thankful that he didn’t look at anyone, particularly me, because my heart seemed to stop.
“He’s back in town?” Aria whispered. “When did that happen?”
“I don’t know, maybe he came after the funeral. Maybe he couldn’t handle Ali’s…death.” Emily muttered the last word quicker than the rest.
“He looks good,” Hanna said.
Spencer, Aria, and Emily shot her a judgmental look.
“What? He does. Rehab did him well,” Hanna said.
I wanted to agree with her, I really did, but that would reveal my big secret, the one that none of them knew.
Suddenly, Jason turned around from making his order and looked right at me. I was paralyzed—-I couldn’t move under his hazel gaze. Our interactions were never so stiff and awkward, they were usually much more natural. I supposed that kind of thing happens when one doesn’t see someone they were involved with for a year.
Finally, he turned away and began scrolling through his phone.
“Do you guys think he could be A?” Emily asked.
“No way. A’s using stuff against us that only Ali would know and she and Jason weren’t exactly close,” Aria said.
I couldn’t focus on the conversation though, all I could think about was the first time Jason and I started sneaking around.
It was two summers ago. We were all sleeping over at Alison’s house in her bedroom. Justin Timberlake’s “Summer Love” was blasting in Alison’s room as we played Truth or Dare. Jason and his older friends were having a party downstairs and it was getting wild down there. Me being the daredevil party girl I was, I wanted to join that party more than anything. Besides, it was an excuse to be near Jason.
“Spencer, truth or dare?” Aria asked.
“Truth,” Spencer said.
We all groaned.
“Of course you picked truth again,” Alison scoffed.
Spencer shrugged shyly and Aria tapped her chin in thought.
“Have you ever cheated in class?” Aria asked.
“No, never!” “Lie!”
“She can’t cheat, she’s a Hastings. You’re all weirdly smart,” I said as I grabbed some popcorn from the bowl in Hanna’s lap.
“But maybe she was desperate for the perfect grade and was forced to cheat,” Alison argued.
“That is a good point,” Hanna mumbled.
“Well, it’s not true. Besides, it’s Y/N’s turn.” Spencer turned to me.
“This should be good.” Aria leaned forward.
“Truth or dare?” Spencer asked.
“Ooooh,” Aria, Emily, and Hanna sang.
“I dare you to steal a bottle of alcohol from the party downstairs,” Spencer said.
Alison glanced at me. “I don’t know about that…”
“No. I must complete it because Y/N Y/L/N always completes the dares she’s given.”
I maintained a calm composure as I stood and walked out into the hallway. Alison and the rest of the girls followed me to make sure I did it. On the outside, I was relaxed, but on the inside I was terrified. I had never been to a party with people such as Jason’s friends. They were all older and drug and alcohol addicts. But I wanted to impress Jason since I’ve had the biggest crush on him since kindergarten. So, I silently thanked myself for wearing a flattering NWA concert t-shirt with black leggings before traipsing down the stairs and into the chaos.
There were people making out in plain sight, drinking, and doing drugs off of weird surfaces. Some hard rap song I didn’t know was playing and I was thankful that no one really noticed me as I weaved by people, stepped over bottles, and searched for a full bottle of liquor and Jason. Unfortunately, neither seemed to be in the main area so I moved to the kitchen. It was less populated and I managed to slip past a stoned couple before grabbing for the bottle of whiskey ontop of the fridge.
“I don’t remember inviting you to the party,” Jason muttered in my ear.
His voice was hot and made my body tingle every where. Somehow, I managed to remain relaxed as I turned to face him. He was gorgeous with his unruly golden hair, perfect stubble on his sharp jaw, and hazel eyes aimed on me. He was wearing a gray hoodie and black jeans without a shirt. I was able to see his sculpted upper body and all I wanted to do was reach out and touch it.
“It’s a shame, this party would be much more exciting if I had been invited,” I said.
“Is that so?”
“Mmhmm, but your friends seem a little boring any way.”
Jason smirked and stepped closer towards me. “Really? I think they’re pretty entertaining.” Jason looked me up and down. “So, why did you come down here, Y/N?” “I wanted a bottle to take back upstairs to liven up the sleepover. Could you help me with that?” “Yeah, if you do me a favor.”
“What do you want?”
“Liven up this party. I know you can dance—you look so sexy when you do. Show my friends a good time.”
The fact that the object of my affections just called me sexy was still rolling through my mind before the rest of his words hit. He wanted me to dance for him and his friends before I could get alcohol. Some would call it degrading or too much effort to complete a dare, but I didn’t see it that way.
“Fine.” I walked back into the living room, glancing at the stairs to see Alison, Aria, Spencer, Emily, and Hanna peering from the top of the staircase.
I winked at them as I approached the coffee table and cleared off the empty beer bottles, drug remnants, and snacks. The people around me jumped up to protest, but I ignored them as I stepped onto the table, right as Notorious BIG’s “Hypnotize” came on. I smirked and let the rhythm take over, making me swivel my hips, body roll, dip down, and wave my arms around. Jason’s friends—as high or drunk as they were—-cheered as I danced around and began dancing as well. I turned to Jason and saw him staring at me as though I were quarry and he was a hunter. A jolt went through me and I liked it, I liked the feeling of not knowing how he was going to act but knowing he would act.
In the middle of song, I stopped dancing and walked over to him as though I were in a trance.
“Pay up, I held up my end,” I said.
“Of course.” Jason handed me the bottle of rum and I grabbed it. However, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me closer. “You’ll be seeing more of me later.”
He released me and I walked back upstairs as though I wasn’t bursting to tell my friends about what happened. Instead, I played it cocky as I waved the bottle around before handing it to Alison. She gave me one of her knowing looks that bugged me before we all headed inside her bedroom.
“That was so cool,” Aria said.
“Yeah, I’d never be that bold to do that in front of all those older guys,” Hanna said.
“Don’t worry, you’ll get there one day,” I said.
“No, you were reckless down there, Y/N. Something could’ve happened to you,” Spencer said.
“Well, nothing did and now we have rum,” Alison said.
We passed the bottle around so many times that I blacked out. When I came to, the other girls were passed out and I really had to pee. I exited the room as quietly as possible before I made a beeline to the bathroom. When I finished, I began heading back to Alison’s room, still feeling the effects of the rum. Just when I got to Alison’s door, someone grabbed me and yanked me into another room. I yelped but was shushed when I made eye contact with Jason. His eyes were cloudy but he was probably more sober than me.
“What are you doing?” I whispered.
“I told you that you’d be seeing more of me later.” Jason closed the gap between us. “It’s later.”
The kiss was hot and passionate. No one else had ever kissed me like that so I moaned into it. Jason smirked underneath it as he wrapped his arms around my waist and I wrapped mine around his neck, pulling him closer. We began making out and he gently pushed me onto his bed. Our tongues interlocked several times and I clawed at his hoodie. Jason took it off without breaking the kiss. I rolled him over, pinning him down, and pulled away to take off my shirt. He stared at my naked torso for a while before leaning up and kissing me. He kissed down my neck, making sure to nip and lick down the side, forcing me to try to keep quiet.
“Shhh, don’t want to wake my sister or your friends,” he whispered.
With those words, I became stone cold sober. How could I be hooking up with my friend’s brother when she and my other friends are in the next room? I felt dirty and weird and not in the good way.
“I can’t do this,” I said as I pushed him away.
“Don’t get me wrong, I really want to, but you’re Alison’s brother. It’s…it’s too weird.”
I tried to get off his lap but Jason pulled me back in. “Why is it weird?”
“Because I’d be going behind my friend’s back. It’s a girl thing, I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”
Jason rolled his eyes. “You don’t even like Alison that much. Besides, we both want this…a lot.”
Even though my relationship with Alison ran hot or cold, we were still friends and I had to stay loyal. But Jason looked really good and he was doing and saying all the right things.
“Yes, but I’m not going to do this with all of them across the hall.”
“But doesn’t that make this hotter?” He kissed my collarbone. “Knowing we could get caught at any second?”
“You make a good argument, but I need to get back before anyone notices.” I pried his hands off of me and grabbed my shirt off the floor. “I’m sure you could get plenty of other girls to do this.”
“I want you.”
With those three words, Jason Dilaurentis had me. He said them with such sincerity that it shook me to the core. Alison was never that sincere about our relationship, but she would give me hell if she found out about what I was about to do.
I slipped my shirt back on and walked over to Jason. “Just because we don’t do this now doesn’t mean we couldn’t do it later.” I wrapped my arms around him. “We could keep it between the two of us.”
“Sneaking around? I like it.” Jason kissed me.
“I have to go,” I whispered as I pulled away.
“I’ll text you.”
I nodded and when I turned to walk away, Jason smacked my butt. I jumped and narrowed my eyes at him before continuing back to Alison’s room. When I got back into my sleeping bag, I thought that no one had caught me. That was, until I felt the acute sensation of someone watching me.
“Y/N?” Spencer asked.
I blinked and looked at her. “Yeah, sorry, what did I miss?”
“We wanted some pastries. Could you get them?” Spencer asked.
“Um, sure, yeah. What do you guys want?”
Emily didn’t even finish hers before I stood and made a beeline to the register .The Brew was pretty busy so Jason was still there and I felt hot—-an anxious hot being near him. I thought that I had gotten over him in my time out of the country, but I don’t think that I did. I quickly ordered my friends’ food and had the pleasure of needing to walk past Jason to get to my table. Lucky for me, he looked up just when I was about to start walking.
“Y/N,” Jason said.
“Hi, Jason. It’s good to see that you’re back in town,” I said.
“Yeah, I wanted to help my mom with some stuff.” Jason looked me over. “You look good…really good.”
“Thanks, a year in Japan will do that to you.”
“Oh, I heard about that. How was it?” “Therapeutic. I needed it after everything.”
“You look good, Jason.”
“Thanks, we should talk some time.” “Sure, uh, just text me. The number hasn’t changed.”
The awkward air between us made me grit my teeth. Things used to be so organic and natural until the incident. Now, we couldn’t even be cordial to each other in a coffee shop without it feeling foreign. Sometimes, I wish we still had our old arrangement, but it felt good to get rid of the toxicity it brought to my life.
“Jason!” the barista called.
“That’s me. I’ll see you around.” “Uh huh.”
Jason grabbed his coffee and left. When I breathed, it felt as though I was releasing a breath that I had been holding for too long. It didn’t help that my friends kept staring from our table. There was no doubt in my mind that they would ask me questions when I sat down.
A few minutes later, when I returned with the sugary treats, I was bombarded with questions.
“Okay, what was that?” Aria asked.
“Nothing, we just talked for, like, one second.”
“More like five minutes,” Spencer said.
“What did you two talk about?” Hanna asked.
“Nothing, we just caught up and then he left.”
“Why was he so engaging with you?” Emily asked.
“We used to be in the same social circles. I used to run into him all the time at parties. Now, can you enjoy your sugar while we talk about something a little more lighthearted?”
For the next hour, I got my wish. We talked about everything but stayed away from mentioning Alison, Jason, or A. Unfortunately, Jason stayed in the back of my mind. There was obviously more to him coming back to Rosewood besides helping his mother. Something else made him come back.
When I got home later, my mother was enraptured by Jeoparady in the living room and my dad was still at work at the law firm. I managed to slip past my mom and go upstairs without her noticing. I slipped off my jacket and slumped onto my bed, exhausted.
I grabbed my phone from my pocket and looked at the screen.
Nothing worse than a bitch who messes with their best friend’s brother.
“And so it begins,” I whispered.
A finally had something on me, the question was could I ever reveal my secret to Aria, Spencer, Emily, and Hanna? They hadn’t mentioned theirs so I had until then to figure out how I was going to tell them mine. They were definitely going to judge me because I knew that whatever A had on them wasn’t as seedy as mine. The worst part was that I might still be in love with Jason.
“Blood ain’t thicker than cum I’m fucking with my enemies sister” - Ty Dolla Sign
I waited until Karrueche was out of sight before making my way into the room and taking a seat. It’s about time this nigga woke up and I might as well get this over with while Karrueche isn’t around to try and interfere and convince him to do something he doesn’t want to do. I know she would try and do anything to make him stay here with her, but the last thing I need is a nigga on my team who is still loyal to the other side.