anonymous asked:

What's the best way to kill yourself?

Cut all negatives out of your life. Look at things completely different. Go someplace you’ve never been and smile like you’ve never smiled bigger. Meet new people and push yourself to new limits. Wear new things, listen to wider varieties of sounds and dance to all of them. Soon the you that was troubling you before will be long dead and a new, happier, and more fulfilled you will be more alive than ever before.

anonymous asked:

What is the real identity of Donald Trumps hair?

A host-seeking virulent strand of a horrible disease called “intolerance and bigotry”. It appears that the “hair” aka the host-seeking virus, has found a diseased potato to infect, causing the potato to adapt somewhat human-like features and the ability of speech to spread its disease of intolerance and bigotry. 

httpdersite  asked:

How do I ask a girl out?

Tap her shoulder. Blush. Look down at your shifting feet. Confess your feelings, past criminal history, family bloodline, divulge in government secrets, whisper about the cameras, point nervously at the suspicious man in the corner, compliment her outfit, her eyes, her pulsating shadow. Then stare at her face for a while. Like an oddly long time. Then laugh. Again, for an uncomfortable amount of time. Then say, “So…?” I know this is old fashioned, but sometimes that’s the way to go.

anonymous asked:

how do you tell another person that you have a crush on them?

Pass them notes. Pass them friendly glances. Pass them in dark halls just outside the corner of their eyes. Pass them up on their assumptions that you’re following them with a casual, “Who me? Nah!” Pass them a gun and whisper, “Run they’re after us.” Run forever. You are partners now.