nvreplies

ewriter91  asked:

Who is the sheriff's secret police department's #1 bachelor?

Stef Randall-Higgins. Hands down. Stef is neither male nor female and is attracted to all body types, genders, and certain types of succulent plants. Stef owns a home made out of old ship parts, and dresses so sharp. This babe wears only the finest metal shards, glass shanks, and teeth. Stef has a voice like a crow and a face like the sun: It will burn your flesh. Steve is a catch!

anonymous asked:

What is the real identity of Donald Trumps hair?

A host-seeking virulent strand of a horrible disease called “intolerance and bigotry”. It appears that the “hair” aka the host-seeking virus, has found a diseased potato to infect, causing the potato to adapt somewhat human-like features and the ability of speech to spread its disease of intolerance and bigotry. 

Your Weekend Outlook

Friday Overcast clouds that look like an old childhood imaginary friend, and even talks a little bit like them. It also follows you around and tries to touch you just like they used to before the government had to “borrow” them “indefinitely”
Saturday Has to be removed for observation. Saturday will return this coming Monday.
Sunday You will wake up, you will go about your day, you will keep thinking you hear your name being whispered. The sun will be hot. The sky will be large and faintly orange, and the ground will be littered with old stamps with the hallow, staring face of the future 347th President.

anonymous asked:

Can you give me some tips on how to disappoint my conservative, racist grandparents?

Burst through a wall as you kiss someone of the same sex and declare your gender irrational and existent only in a plane of the universe undiscovered except by man’s more advanced, more brownish black counter parts. They’ll be confused, and really upset about that wall.