If you or anyone you know has developed slight psychoses after using a bread knife please remember that bread and all other wheat and wheat by products is illegal. Your use of a bread knife is illegal and invalid. The contradiction has rendered your body baseless. Your mind is being altered by The Vague Yet Menacing Government Agency as result for your protection. Thank you for your cooperation and blind submission.


It’s that time of year again readers! Yep, it’s bio-hazard season! Bio-hazards can easily be prevented by not stepping in blood puddles, or simply not committing murder and leaving the corpses to rot. If you find bio-hazards or toxic wastes in your home, dripping from the ceiling fan or air vents or at your place of work, slowly crawling up the elevator shaft, please contact the Bio-Hazard Control Center for an immediate memory wipe.


Given the circumstances, you typically do have more knowledge about your life’s trajectory than those who doubt, limit, and instill fear in you. Do not let the misinformation of others negate the truth of who you are. If you want to be a disembodied voice in a freeway underpass do it. If you want to be a doctor do it. If you want to continue to change your life’s course and explore the various subtexts of what it means to be human… Please do it!