nut based

Nevada Gothic

*The playground looks very nice. It is clean and colorful and well-thought-out. No one goes there but the jackrabbits.

*A new company is moving into the area. The local councils fall all over themselves providing whatever might be needed. No one mentions that the first day of work is the last day the workers are seen.

*The popping noise at night is just someone target-shooting. You try not to think about what’s being used as targets.

*We’re very proud of our town. Where do we get the water? It doesn’t matter. We’re very proud of our town.

*As you drive through endless stretches of highway, you occasionally see an onion farm. The wind rustles through the stalks. You don’t think it sounds like someone pleading for help at all.

*Everyone laughs at the local ghost stories. Only the local Native American tribes know enough to keep their silence. You’re new here, don’t you want to see the most haunted city in America?

*A healthy teenager went into an abandoned mine. When they recovered his body, they couldn’t find a cause of death.

*It’s wonderful how involved the city’s council is. Why, almost everything is sponsored by them…

*Your high school reunion is coming up in a week. You aren’t going. Getting out once was enough.

*The neighbor’s dogs always seem oddly well-fed. You never see them except at night. They have very bright eyes.

A Top Food Trend in 2016: Plant-Based Everything!

Remember when veggies were relegated to the side of the plate? Now they’re exalted, becoming the stars of the culinary show, especially in the eyes of chefs. Whether it’s cauliflower “steaks,” mashed veggies beyond potatoes, or spiralized veggie noodles, plants are replacing meat on the plate and becoming signature entrees in their own right.

The movement to “eat your veggies” goes way beyond the produce aisles. Plants are popping up in unexpected places — from vegan nut-based cheeses and yogurts to popsicles. Plants have found their way into body care products, vitamins and skincare, too, with superfoods such as broccoli, kale and acai as key ingredients in vitamin supplements, and quinoa protein being used in hair care products.

Vegan Cashew Mozzarella

Making cashew mozzarella is crazy simple!  Making cheese from cashews, who knew?!  I thought making nut butter for the first time was exhilarating; that’s old news. This mozzerala fantastic on pizza, can’t wait to try it in lasagna.

I obtained this recipe off the internet a while ago.  Unfortunately, I don’t recall the source.  Thank you, to whomever was generous enough to share this recipe.


¼ cup raw cashews, soaked for 1 hour
1 cup hot water
2 T plus 1 t organic tapioca starch
1 organic garlic clove, minced
¾ t sea salt
1 t organic lemon juice


Blend all ingredients together in a food processor until smooth.

Place mixture into a small saucepan and cook over medium heat.  Keep stirring the mixture as it cooks.  Cook until the cheese becomes really thick, and stretches.

Use immediately.

based on a true story
  • (Lance and Hunk are helping Coran in the kitchen)
  • Coran: Thanks for helping me prepare dinner, boys!
  • Lance: Hey, no problem dude.
  • Hunk: Lance and I used to cook together all the time back at the Garrison, so we're glad to help! What's on the menu for tonight, Coran?
  • Coran: Well, I picked up some ingredients at the last farmers market we visited, and I found something that's a pretty close substitute to Earth's... Nuts, I believe you call them?
  • Lance: ... So we're having nuts for dinner?
  • Hunk: Lance-
  • Coran: Yep! I was thinking that we would prepare a salad and then-
  • Lance: Wow Coran, what a coincidence! Nuts are Hunk's favorite food group! In fact, one could even say-
  • Hunk: LANCE.
  • Lance: - That Hunk LOVES nuts!
  • Hunk: You are the worst.
  • Coran: Is that so? I had no idea that Hunk loved nuts!!
  • (Lance cough-laughs into his sleeve and Hunk punches him in the arm. Coran continues, oblivious)
  • Coran: Well, if Hunk loves nuts so much... He should have the honor of putting them in the dish! (He hands the bag of nuts to Hunk) Nut away, Hunk!
  • Lance: (HOLY_SHIT.JPEG)
  • Hunk: (praying4death.png)

“Ew! how do you eat that, vegan cheese weirds me out


some things in vegan cheese - diff mixes and combos of oils, flours/starches, pea or soy protein, natural flavors, sometimes tofu, or nut based.

some things in cows cheese - curdled cows breast milk?? growth hormones, artery clogging saturated fats and cholesterol, rennet (enzymes from the stomach lining of a dead calf/other animals) bacteria, casein (acts like an opiate and makes dairy addictive, also linked to cancer), pus. breast milk from another species??

Yes most vegan cheeses (like dairy cheese) are processed. I’m not saying go buy some, yes some are gross but like there’s dairy cheeses that taste like straight crusty socks? The dairy industry is cruel and full of death and abuse, Don’t knock vegan cheese when you’re an adult human drinking breast milk and putting hormone filled cheese from an abused cow on ur sandwich. Experiment with different brands if you want, or not? The point is you don’t need any kind of cheese.  Avocado, man.

Recipe of the Day: Giada’s Panettone Bread Pudding with Amaretto Sauce
Classic bread pudding may be a Southern favorite, but Giada uses rich Italian panettone studded with fruit and nuts as the base for hers. Soaked in a creamy custard, baked and then drizzled with buttery amaretto sauce, it’s a day-after dessert that’s ideal for company.

someday somebody is going to have to write a paper about US politics in the 2010s, and they’re going to have to mention Deez Nuts. Even better, if it’s far enough in the future, they’re going to have to briefly explain the origin of the name “Deez Nuts” as based on crude slang

The future is so bright I gotta wear shades

Do the signs have milk in their cereal or not?
  • Aries: yes, they pour themselves a nice big bowl and slurp with so much delight they get milk on their shirt
  • Taurus: depends, they have their own certain rituals for eating cereal
  • Gemini: nah, they have places to be, so they'd rather have a granola bar
  • Cancer: eats cereal out of a Ziploc like a little child, so probably not
  • Leo: yeah, how else would they enjoy it?
  • Virgo: if it tastes good with the specific cereal and they can find the perfect ratio of milk to cereal without having to add milk, then yes
  • Libra: yeah, they pour chocolate or strawberry milk in their cereal
  • Scorpio: yeah, they eat slowly and ponder about where the milk and cereal came from
  • Sagittarius: no, they don't eat cereal, it's so passé, they probably eat some fancy oatmeal with nut-based milk
  • Capricorn: nah, it's too messy, and it's annoying to clean out in the sink
  • Aquarius: well, they take the cereal box and dump some in their mouth, then drink milk from the jug to wash it down
  • Pisces: yes, they eat the cereal first, then drink the milk in the bowl after