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God, its been 2 years since I’ve started hormones. It has been probably one of the hardest, and craziest 2 years of my life. So much has changed, and so much as stayed the same that I can still hardly wrap my head around it. I’ve had my ups and downs, but no matter how hard and shitty things gone, the one thing I haven’t regretted was starting this journey. I’ve gained friends, lost friends, learned a lot about myself and the people in my life, and had my eyes opened to so many aspects of society that I was mostly ignorant of. I have my days where I can’t see anything but dude staring me back in the mirror, and I have days where i feel beautiful and free and euphoric. I’m still mostly an anxious depressed wreck who is unable to work or contribute to society, but I’ve put a ton of work into figuring myself out and how to be myself, be happy, and be successful in society, I’m still mostly at a loss, but it wont stop me from keeping on trying.

I guess the point of this is to just say that the potential for happiness is there, and to keep trying, and to keep being yourself, no matter what the world, or even what you tell yourself sometimes.

I don’t know, I really suck at writing and being positive and inspirational, but just, don’t give up on yourself.

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TRANSGENDER Q&A (FIRST VIDEO!!!)
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So today I am 6 months on t!
I really cant believe its already been that long and I am so thankful for everybody who supported me and made this possible. Within the last 6 months I learned to accept my body. Sure I still have a lot of dysphoria, but I know that the changes are happening and will keep happening. I cant put into words what this means to me. I dont think I will really feel free within my body until I get topsurgery, but I do feel so much more comfortable right know than I did half a year ago.

Dear little one, we made it <3

anonymous asked:

Can you talk a little about what you're experiencing on progesterone? I'm on oral Estradiol only and heard mixed things as I'm sure you did, and I'm just curious what it feels like to you.

I’m still trying to figure it out right now, and to a certain extent I have like wildly variable days in terms of like… prescence, or like perception of reality. I think in a certain sense that makes it hard to know what is *actually* hormonal, but also I think makes it easier for me to notice relatively small differences in my perception, because I’m always trying to check in w myself abt that.

So! like, I feel like it is affecting my energy level in ways that aren’t completely dissimilar from testosterone (both thinking of my pre-hrt days and also my recreational use) but also different. Like, I wake up and have more… awakeness? I have slept better the last couple of days, so maybe that’s it. I have more energy or I guess alertness in a certain sense, but I’m still depressed and mentally ill so I still have a lot of the same avolition/executive issues, which is a weird combo.

I feel like time is going slower, and everything feels a slight bit closer or hyperpresent. I don’t know if I’m getting much more done than usual, but I *feel* like I am, if that makes sense? I don’t feel like I’m having major mood swings, if anything I feel a bit more stable in certain ways, tho obviously I did almost cry from basically nothing. But like, the ‘swings’ in this event feel less volatile… it’s strange and hard to put words to.

estrogen to me feels kinda like succumbing to hypothermia, testosterone feels not completely dissimilar to cocaine, progesterone at this point feels like hypomania but less destructive.

once again, I would also say that I will have a better inclination with more time, both because I’ll be able to see what it’s like over time/not because of external or internal emotional weather, and also because any time that hormones change is kinda crazy.

anonymous asked:

Is there a way to transition without being either gender? I'm gender fluid and want to get on hormones, but I was wondering if there were any that make gender more neutral? Rather than more masculine or feminine? Does that exist or is that just a long shot?

Many non-binary people medically transition. What that means and involves is specific to them and what they require. There are only 2 sex hormones so you will have to be on either testosterone or oestrogen, there is no neutral option. If oestrogen is your current dominant hormone, what some non-binary people do who want to appear more androgynous or neutral is go on a low dose of T then come off it when they have obtained the changes they wanted or when they dont want it to go any further. With that you have to bear in mind the fact you cant decide what changes happen and what dont nor the timeframe in which they happen. You may experience some changes you dont want so you need to weigh that up before doing anything whether you are prepared for that or not. Some changes can happen quickly and others take longer but its always down to genetics and what happens, when and to what extent cant be predicted

Consider what changes you are looking to have and whether it is realistic for you or not. For example, you may want your voice to drop a little but not go too far, you may wish your body shape to change. The former is more controllable as stopping T would keep it at the pitch it had reached. That is a permanent change. The latter would only be temporary and patterns would revert back once you had stopped T. Weigh up the permanent changes with the non permanent, consider the ones that tend to happen the quickest with those that dont and the general kind of timeframes for their induction. You can stop T at any time but you still need to consider the fact that some changes are irreversible and whether you are ok with that or not. You dont really want to be stopping and starting hormones as it causes disruption to your body. It is effectively inducing puberty again. Also what is a ‘low dose’ to one person can be a high dose for another due to the different ways our bodies respond so you would need regular blood tests to check its at a reasonable level. Some bodies respond more to a lower level of T than a higher one so it wouldnt necessarily mean changes would happen really slowly, you would need to be monitoring it and considering everything with decisions on whether you wanted the dose increased, decreased or whether/when to stop and come off it

Sorry that is quite long. Theres quite a lot you need to think about regarding this. Medically speaking its the only real way you can go about doing this in terms of neutrality but its not completely controllabe. You could always consult with your doctor or an endo to discuss it further if you wanted to pursue it. You may also wish to talk with other people on the non-binary spectrum who have gone this route in terms of how they went about it and what their experiences with it were

anonymous asked:

Is Spiro remotely worth taking? I'm currently just on estrogen and went off Spiro a couple months ago. Do u know what the deal is with whether anti androgen s are worth it?

I mean, at least for me, anti androgens were to a certain extent more important for me than estrogen was. I also had v high levels of T when I started hrt, and continued to have relatively high levels up until my orchiectomy, despite being on p large amounts of spiro.

I think it was worth it, for me. But like, it really depends on what yr goals are, how you feel comparatively w or without, you know? Like, having higher testosterone levels as far as I know does dampen some of the effects of E, but like I know that being on Spiro can be a pain (energy, peeing all the time, sexual shit) so if you like it better without + like the direction things are going, then there’s no reason to feel obligated.

But like, I’m v much not a doctor, so don’t take medical advice from me beyond “find what works for you” and like… spiro and eventually my orchi were worth it for me personally.

Okay so story time…

So when I was 16ish I noticed two kinda bumps on either side of my neck, kinda below the ear. Turns out my thyroid was swelled. This was also about the time I started losing my hair (that’s the important part). At 16 I was going bald. We got blood work done all that jazz, and the doctor told me my thyroid was fine… I was just going bald.So my hair has been thinning since then. And I still had the bumps on the sides of my neck. I’m now 25.

Over the summer I met my endocrinologist for my Hormone Replacement Therapy. He was looking through my records and mentioned something about blood work I had done when I was in high school. He said it looked like my thyroid was under (over?) performing. 😑

Anyway that brings me to today, since starting HRT the bumps have completely disappeared– aka my thyroid isn’t engorged! Now the best part, although I really don’t want to get my hopes up, is that I think my hair is actually coming back!!

Like I said, I really don’t want to get my hopes up, but it looks like it’s filling in to me. And honestly, as a transitioning woman, it’s been one of my biggest insecurities and sources of dysphoria. I literally wear a beanie or hat wherever I go. For those who don’t know or haven’t figured out, my hair in my profile is a wig. So. Burst that bubble.

Anyway, that’s all 🙈💕🌸

5

My glasses came in today! Someone at work broke my glasses a few months back so I’ve been wearing just contacts. I saved up money for glasses and the optometrist even gave me free trial contacts to hold me over till I got my glasses/had money for contacts. I’m so happy to have new glasses! I didn’t realize the different sections for glasses were even gendered until I was comparing this pair with another of the same brand and found the main difference was the shape. I apparently got women’s glasses but the men’s glasses I almost got were a bit harsh for my face. For my face shape + tastes + when I want to pass, I’ve found more squared off lenses look really good. I also love big lenses lol. These are just my selfies in my new glasses. I can’t wait to see what everyone at work will think lol

*~Sebastian Sean Crow (He/Him)

*****
Ugh I’m studying to be an optician and literally my coworkers every day, “the women’s glasses are here, then mens glasses are here.” I die inside every time. Great pick, love the new look (and that vest omg)

*Wren

For those of you thinking of purchasing testosterone illegally please remember you are taking your life into your hands and you absolutely can overdose on T and it can be life threatening. Taking a ton of T will not masculinize you. Too much T can get converted back into estrogen.

Do not take any testosterone not purchased with your prescription given to you by your doctor. Every one’s dose is different.

Hormone imbalance can severely fuck up your body.