Confessions of a Nurse

I chance upon this blog while looking for more personal blogs to follow since my dashboard is getting a little boring. It’s a confession blog of random anonymous nurses that most other nurses could possibly relate to. The blog’s still new tho as it only started two weeks ago. But these are the following confessions that I couldn’t agree more. 

I’ve never imagined the day that I’ll finally appreciate the path that I took. It’s truly a difficult and challenging path since I was really desperate to take up something where I used to believe my skills and talents fit in. 

Oftentimes, I’m asked the usual question “Why Nursing?” that is sometimes followed by their judgement of why I should have been taking this or that. I would only usually brush off and give a meek smile every time I was asked this question during those doubtful moments of my life.

Not until I was exposed in the hospital and had my very first patient. Everything changed. I couldn’t agree more with confession#45 that nurses really do inspire patients so they’ll recover faster; but, little did people know that patients touch the heart of nurses more. Being a nurse is extremely a tedious job; but, rewarding, especially when you see progress in the health of your patient. 

I know it may really sound silly; but, I always think nurses are like those superheroes I used to see in comic books I read when I was a kid, only that they’re real. Strong, passionate, selfless, and dedicated are just some few words to best describe their mutual feature. 

I’m just glad that I have now come to the point of appreciating this path and that I am proud of it. A superhero in the making. ☺

Credits to Confessions of a Nurse for the images used in this blog.

Last night I admitted a patient who is only a few years older than myself. Diabetic, hypertensive, oxygen dependent (but still smokes 1.5 packs a day), mentally ill, super . morbidly obese, and a host of other issues. It just broke my heart.
Her husband was so upset that she was sick enough to be admitted and he kept saying “she’s my world, she’s everything, she has to get better.” It just broke my heart, because he clearly loves her, but he just doesn’t get that his enabling her is hurting her.
It’s not intentional, and it would devastate him if i said this to him. I almost felt like a coward to just patting his arm and promising that I would take good care her her after he left.
I just wanted to shake him until he understood that if this doesn’t stop, she WILL die. She’s completely disabled and totally house bound. Who is buying her the cigarettes? Who is bringing her the unhealthy food? She is almost child like, probably a result of the psych meds. If you love her, help her!
As a nurse, part of my job is accepting people where they are right now and not judging how they got there. I feel incredibly hypocritical in my anger at the husband.
It was a long night and I am exhausted. I have to recharge my own batteries so I can eventually help this family.

I Know When It's Time When

I’m ridiculously discontent with my life on the fly, like in my head I go “so after I eat this sad, sad, sweet potato indicated in my sad sad diet I’m going to take a stupid shower in my bathroom where nothing works and go to the hospital to get money that isn’t enough for me to live on at all which is why I will be forever dependent on my parents for when I need things that happen to be ridiculously expensive like Champix.” All while keeping my professional face on the whole day.

Time of the month, everyone.

A&P Nightmares

Just for future reference for any nurses-to-be, I would HIGHLY DISCOURAGE anyone taking anatomy and physiology courses ONLINE if at all possible.  I had to take them online because of my (former) work schedule.  In my recent experiences with both A&P I and II, the “instruction” (term used very loosely) was severely lacking and I was thrown to the wolves to learn the entire textbook on my own.

I had no direction, no instruction, and next to no help.  On the rare occasion that I DID ask the instructor for help, clarification, or guidance regarding future quizzes, assignments, and/or tests, I was informed that I “just need to know everything”.

I squeaked by with a B in 1, and an A- in 2, but I had a ton of help from Google and other people’s Quizlet flashcards.  (Shhh…)

Therefore, since I want to “know everything” and be semi-competent going in to nursing school, I intend to take advantage of summer break and really take the time needed to teach myself.  In a way that I can actually understand and utilize.  I don’t want to be behind the students that had the luxury of taking the classes on campus, in front of a real person that gave real, useful lectures and had access to actual anatomical models (instead of just viewing pictures of them online).

But then again, my bad experience with online A&P might just be exclusive the the school I attend.  Either way, I have to start all over and begin at the basics again if I want a snowball’s chance in hell to succeed.

And I will.

Do as I say, not as I do

I feel like such a hypocrite at the moment. Last night I spoke with two different patients about the importance of sleep and proper nutrition. (I work on an oncology and in-patient hospice unit.) I was feeling pretty good because i’ve been doing well with my own eating and sleeping.

Well, that all went to shit this morning. The end of the 12 hour night shift was rough, so I was running late getting home to take my daughter to her therapy appointment. This meant that my mother, who isn’t totally comfortable with the whole therapy thing in the first place, was going to have to take her.

Feeling like a lousy nurse and even worse mother, where did I head? To McDonalds for a Sausage McMuffin, hash browns and orange juice.
I sat in traffic on 422 for an hour, which is always a treat. I finally got home and slept 3 hours, because i don’t work the next two nights and i also had to drive my mom home at noon. Then I realized that I forgot my lunch bag and good Tervis cup at work, so I piled my kid in the car and back we went after we dropped off my mom.

So what else have I eaten? A 10 piece chicken nugget and fries meal from Wendy’s, a coffee roll from Dunkin Donuts and a piece of coconut cake from the hospital cafeteria.

I feel like absolute crap. Yuk! I make such rotten food choices when I am sleep deprived or upset. I feel disgusting at the moment–you would think I would learn. I’m tired of being tired. I need to get my crap together. Ugh!