nunchucks!

Ryan’s Face When He Unsheathed The Sword On This Week’s AHWU Like I’ve Never Seen Anyone Embody The “Kid On Christmas Morning” Look More Perfectly

The Sheer Joy In His Voice When He Announced “These Are Deadpool Swords!!” Is Something I Never Thought I Would Experience

Also Him Casually Like “It’s Been A Long Time Since I’ve Worked With Nunchucks” “You Worked With Nunchucks?” “Briefly” As If It Should Surprise Anyone At This Point That Ryan Has Used Every Weapon Under The Sun

And Then Him Struggling To Get The Sword Out From The Holster On His Back For Ages

Ryan Killed Me Like 7 Times In This One Video What A Start To The Week

k i loved Zootopia but can we maaaybe talk about the motherclucking designs in the Kung Fu Panda series, particularly the women? specifically tigress???

Like she totally reads as feminine and elegant but at the same time she’s completely buff and animal-shaped like the rest of the characters there aint a tiger titty or Fluff Cleavage™ in sight

And thats how the rest of the animals are treated too?! like the females and males of every species are pretty much shaped the same, besides the peacocks who obviously have males and females looking different. and then the third movie comes out and we’re treated to MEI MEI

she’s this crazy panda lady ribbon dancer who legit things she’s the hottest shit on planet earth and she is a total badass once she figures out how to use nunchucks. and like theres just so many beautiful and diverse designs for all these characters and I kinda feel like too many people praise this franchise just for its comedy when its got some killer artistry behind it as well. 

The Best 300 gp Ever Spent

Here’s the story about the noodle incident at the very end of this story, as written by the paladin’s player himself: https://yourplayersaidwhat.tumblr.com/post/159992078033/the-uniting-power-of-love-triangles-midlife-dance 

The specific event involves an egotistical human paladin who believes himself to be a literal dragon (specifically, the Chinese noodle variety), a very saucy halfling weapons merchant, and a magical glaive-guisarme that the paladin absolutely HAD to have, but didn’t have enough money to buy on his own, so a deal was struck between him and the merchant. 

The halfling happened to be incredibly amorous, but he refused to do anything unbecoming (Editor’s Note: and since he was pretty thick in the head, it took him a while to get she was flirting to begin with). In the end, the paladin agreed to take the halfling dancing in exchange for a discount. (Ed: The rogue had to buy a thieves’ ring on top of masterwork tools for this deal to get off the ground. Best 300 gp ever spent.) After the odd pair made their way to a grand dance hall in the center of town (the same one Midlife Dance Crisis took place), they stared each other in the eyes. They each intended to walk away from this encounter not as acquaintances, but as victors.) 

Draco-Paladin: “I will defeat you.”  

Saucy Halfling: “Oh yeah, talk dirty to me!” 

(What many would consider to be a recreational activity was a contest of prowess in the eyes of these two opposing forces. The time came for performance checks to be made. I had planned in advance what would occur based on what roll I got, and wouldn’t you know it…) 

Draco-Paladin’s Player: (rolls a 1) 

He picks up the halfling and flings her under his arms, around his waist and over his shoulders like a pair of nunchucks. Entire Party:

(Bellowing laughter)

Rogue’s Player: God damn, dude, that escalated FAST! 

Summoner’s Player: Allow me to show you the dance of my people! 

Medium’s Player: Dragons are used to tossing around smaller creatures for fun, don'tcha know! 

DM: The halfling is having more fun than she’s ever had in her entire life. And she’s had a LOT of lovers. 

In the end, the paladin got his discount, and he entered a vitriolic will-they-or-won’t-they relationship with a halfling who, in spite of her diminutive size, turned out to be a whole lotta woman. Sometimes a natural 1 can be better than a 20.

i’ll never stop being bitter over how kristen was called a bad actress for her role as bella in twilight like NO BITCH if you’d gone as hard for twilight as my 12-year-old ass did you’d damn well know that bella had virtually no emotions and if kristen had played her as bubbly and lively then she wouldn’t have been playing that character she got bella down PAT and i don’t wanna hear this “kristen stewart is a bad actress” nonsense or i WILL get out my nunchucks and fight you

HEY

DO YOU LIKE WEAPONS?

HOW ABOUT WEAPONS SO OP YOUR EYES MELT FROM WHAT-THE-FUCKERY???

WELL THEN BOY HOWDY DO I HAVE A SHOW FOR YOU.

RWBY IS ABOUT FIGHTING AWESOME SHIT WITH AWESOME SHIT.

FIRST CASE IN POINT: RUBY AND CRESCENT ROSE.

NOT ONLY IS THIS SCYTHE LIKE SEVEN FEET LONG AND DEADLY AS FUCK ON ITS OWN, IT’S ALSO A HIGH-IMPACT SNIPER RIFLE:

CAN YOU SAY OVERKILL?

ONTO CULPRIT NUMBER TWO: BLAKE AND THE GAMBOL SHROUD

FIRST OFF, THEY’RE A SWORD AND SHEATH, BUT THEN…

IT’S ALSO A WHIP. THAT IS ALSO A GUN. ALLOWING HER TO DO SHIT LIKE THIS:

WHAT THE FUCK, MAN. THREE WEAPONS IN ONE. HOW DO YOU NOT SHOOT YOURSELF BY ACCIDENT.

NEXT UP: SUN AND NYOI BO

SO IT’S A STAFF. ALRIGHT, COOL. BUT DID YOU KNOW IT EXPLODES?

AND IT DOESN’T STOP THERE, KIDS. THIS MOTHERFUCKER DETACHES AND TURNS INTO WHAT YOU THINK ARE NUNCHUCKS…

AND TECHNICALLY, YES, THEY ARE USED MUCH LIKE NUNCHUCKS, BUT THESE NUNCHUCKS ARE LITERALLY MADE OUT OF GODDAMNED SHOTGUNS. SUN YOU’VE GOT FOUR SHOTGUNS ON A CHAIN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING SIR.

AND NEXT WE HAVE OUR CHARACTER BASED OFF OF THOR, WHO FITTINGLY HAS THE HARDEST HITTER OF THEM ALL: NORA AND MANGHILD

NOT ONLY IS THIS THING A FUCKING GIANT WARHAMMER,

IT TURNS INTO A FUCKING GRENADE LAUNCHER THAT ALSO FUNCTIONS AS A CANNON

IT ALSO SHOOTS WHILE IN HAMMER FORM, GIVING HER THE ABILITY TO DO THIS SHIT:

BLAST HERSELF AT THE GROUND AT DIZZYING FORCE AND SMASH INTO THINGS LIKE A PINK PINWHEEL OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION

AND THOSE ARE JUST THE MOST OVER THE TOP WEAPONS I CAN THINK OF

THERE IS INFINITE MORE AWESOMENESS IN THE SHOW, LIKE A PURSE THAT IS ALSO A GATLING GUN:

I HAVENT EVEN SCRATCHED THE SURFACE WITH THIS POST BUT GO WATCH RWBY ITS FUCKIN GREAT

Okay, so correct if I’m wrong, but…  

…aren’t sharp weapons…

…that are also guns….

…like…

…like…really, really dangerous? Like just straight-up stupidly dangerous? Like “Hey, lemme just use these guns as nunchucks WHOOPS I SHOT MYSELF IN THE GODDAMN FACE.” 

I mean, look at Blake:

It’s a sword. But also a gun?? But she also swings it around??? While continuing to use it as a gun???? She is literally swinging around arguably one of the most dangerous-to-use weapons ever conceived?????????