nunchucks!

that vine of the geek with the nunchuck who said ‘i am a lgbtq ally and this is a safe space’ needs to be the national spokesperson of ideal allyship

that guy with the nunchucks really crushed the myth that safe spaces are childish because he will kick those homophobes’ asses with his nunchucks. only true ally

HEY

DO YOU LIKE WEAPONS?

HOW ABOUT WEAPONS SO OP YOUR EYES MELT FROM WHAT-THE-FUCKERY???

WELL THEN BOY HOWDY DO I HAVE A SHOW FOR YOU.

RWBY IS ABOUT FIGHTING AWESOME SHIT WITH AWESOME SHIT.

FIRST CASE IN POINT: RUBY AND CRESCENT ROSE.

NOT ONLY IS THIS SCYTHE LIKE SEVEN FEET LONG AND DEADLY AS FUCK ON ITS OWN, IT’S ALSO A HIGH-IMPACT SNIPER RIFLE:

CAN YOU SAY OVERKILL?

ONTO CULPRIT NUMBER TWO: BLAKE AND THE GAMBOL SHROUD

FIRST OFF, THEY’RE A SWORD AND SHEATH, BUT THEN…

IT’S ALSO A WHIP. THAT IS ALSO A GUN. ALLOWING HER TO DO SHIT LIKE THIS:

WHAT THE FUCK, MAN. THREE WEAPONS IN ONE. HOW DO YOU NOT SHOOT YOURSELF BY ACCIDENT.

NEXT UP: SUN AND NYOI BO

SO IT’S A STAFF. ALRIGHT, COOL. BUT DID YOU KNOW IT EXPLODES?

AND IT DOESN’T STOP THERE, KIDS. THIS MOTHERFUCKER DETACHES AND TURNS INTO WHAT YOU THINK ARE NUNCHUCKS…

AND TECHNICALLY, YES, THEY ARE USED MUCH LIKE NUNCHUCKS, BUT THESE NUNCHUCKS ARE LITERALLY MADE OUT OF GODDAMNED SHOTGUNS. SUN YOU’VE GOT FOUR SHOTGUNS ON A CHAIN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING SIR.

AND NEXT WE HAVE OUR CHARACTER BASED OFF OF THOR, WHO FITTINGLY HAS THE HARDEST HITTER OF THEM ALL: NORA AND MANGHILD

NOT ONLY IS THIS THING A FUCKING GIANT WARHAMMER,

IT TURNS INTO A FUCKING GRENADE LAUNCHER THAT ALSO FUNCTIONS AS A CANNON

IT ALSO SHOOTS WHILE IN HAMMER FORM, GIVING HER THE ABILITY TO DO THIS SHIT:

BLAST HERSELF AT THE GROUND AT DIZZYING FORCE AND SMASH INTO THINGS LIKE A PINK PINWHEEL OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION

AND THOSE ARE JUST THE MOST OVER THE TOP WEAPONS I CAN THINK OF

THERE IS INFINITE MORE AWESOMENESS IN THE SHOW, LIKE A PURSE THAT IS ALSO A GATLING GUN:

I HAVENT EVEN SCRATCHED THE SURFACE WITH THIS POST BUT GO WATCH RWBY ITS FUCKIN GREAT

So far ideas for Steven Universe merch should be...

1. Lion plush
2. Cookie Cat plush
3. T-shirts with Pearl, Garnet, and Rose’s upper torso designs (hopefully rose could come in various skin tones but that is asking too much)
4. Guitar Dad T-shirt
5. Mr. Universe T-shirt
6. Coloring book with stickers inside of everyone’s gem so people can stick them on themselves
7. Garnet’s gauntlets with sound effects (like those incredible hulk gloves)
8. Steven’s shield and sword
9. A wii/wii U video game (imagine using the remote as a whip or staff or both the remote and nunchuck as a shield and sword or Garnet’s gauntlets)

Feel free to add more ideas

Okay, so correct if I’m wrong, but…  

…aren’t sharp weapons…

…that are also guns….

…like…

…like…really, really dangerous? Like just straight-up stupidly dangerous? Like “Hey, lemme just use these guns as nunchucks WHOOPS I SHOT MYSELF IN THE GODDAMN FACE.” 

I mean, look at Blake:

It’s a sword. But also a gun?? But she also swings it around??? While continuing to use it as a gun???? She is literally swinging around arguably one of the most dangerous-to-use weapons ever conceived?????????