nt as pretty as i wanted it to be

WHAT AN ENTP WANTS TO SAY TO ALL OF THE TYPES.

RATIONALS (NT)

ENTJ-  You scare me. You are such and incredible leader, how do you do that?? But also I hate authority and feel a need to disagree with you at every turn because you’re so bossy. You’re not as cool as you think you are, but you’re almost as cool as you think you are and that’s pretty damn cool. Be my friend.

ENTP- Fuckin’ chill out you memelord. You’re either coasting through life or putting WAY to much effort into shit. You’re a bit of a narcissistic fuck but you’re still my favourite type (*coughs*). You’re too excitable and too much of a dick and you’re personality doesn’t make sense. Stop being mean to you’re friends. Learn to be more comfortable with emotions, it’ll be important later on in life. Be the friend that can cheer others up with jokes when they don’t really wanna talk about what’s wrong.

INTJ- You’re cool, you get shit done and you’re a bit of a supervillian. What’s not to love? You’re a rare bird. There aren’t many of you out there, but you are important. If you weren’t here, who else would the ENFP’s annoy? You’re a behind the scenes leader most of the time, pulling the strings from a safe (and smart distance) but you aren’t afraid to get you’re hands dirty. You’re good at shit.But don’t forget, you’re not superhuman. Remember other people have these pesky things called emotions, be wary of them STILL i want you to be proud of you’re inherent assholeness.

INTP-  Mad scientist. I’m constantly searching for your approval because of my unresolved daddy issues and it freaks me out. Yes, you are a daddy. Some of you have your heads shoved up a little too far in you’re own arse. Just because you’re introverted and intuitive and darn cold, does not make you better than others honey. Basically, you’re a condescending shit. But hey I still put you on this weird pedestal, so we’re both guilty. You’re the genius on tv shows that isn’t diagnosed but falls on the aspergers spectrum somewhere.

IDEALISTS (NF)

ENFJ-  Baby, I worship the ground you walk on. You are so cool, calm and controlled while still being awesome, enthusiastic and excitable. Don’t be my friend, date me. But stop trying to fix everything. Think about yourself a lil okay buddy, and use logic sometimes too. Actually scratch all that, you’re perfect, I love you.

ENFP-  You are a beautiful, annoying bastard. You’re too nice and I don’t feel comfortable making mean jokes at your expense (because you’d probably take it seriously and cry yourself to sleep), but you have effortless charm. Stop thinking about the individual and start thinking about the bigger picture, you’re not realistic. Be my friend, but not like close friend, y'know.

INFP-  Hello, the human equivalent of tumblr. Fuck. People either love you or hate you. I don’t know where I fall on that scale tbh. Sometimes you’re just a little too much honey, I’m not sensitive enough for you. Other times you are too precious for this world and I just wanna wrap you up in a blanket and protect you. I am strangely attracted to you despite how awkward you probably think you are. You have a lot of knowledge in that head of yours. Be that person I have a weird co-dependant relationship with, that really isn’t healthy but I can’t exactly live without you and I’m not sure why.

INFJ- Ah INFJ, I haven’t met many of you but BOY, are the ones I know pretentious. You’re one of the least common MBTI type, and you probably know and take pride in this. You’re good at reading people, I know, but you can just talk to me instead of analyse from a distance bud. You’re ultimately very cool and creative, a little bit of a know it all but it’s justified. You’re a sweet bundle of joy and I love you. Be my best friend. You’re good at being a friend. Really good.

GAURDIANS (SP)

ESFP-  I like you a lot kid, you remind me of a younger me. We shouldn’t get along but I love/envy you. You’re caring and you have a great childlike spirit. Make some art and ramble to me some more. I seriously appreciate you so much. You bring me back down to  the ‘now’ with you’re crazy impulsive attitude and caring demeanour. Just learn to listen to me a lil more when I tell you you’re thinking with you’re heart instead of you’re brain again. You do it a lot, buddy. Be my lover.

ESTP-  You’re cool man. You’re Ferris Bueler. You’re a salesman that’s constantly selling me on your personality. Look we get it, you’re good with one liners and you’re athletic and everyone loves you, but also hey, think about others you little sociopathic flirt. Also, sometimes people really DO know more than you, I know! Crazy. Be my Idol.

ISFP-  You probably reaallly like music. Chill out buddy, I don’t know much about you but you seem stressed and too fierce for ur adorable demeanour. I know you are your own individual beautiful creative person, you don’t need to tell me. People DO care about you, i know sometimes you doubt that, but you got this life in the bad. You’ll probably never grow out of your angsty teen years tbh but it’s okay, find yourself an ISFJ and you’ll be okay.

ISTP-  So you’re just as cool but less attainable, loner ESTP. You’re in control of your own everything but also out of control and mildly self destructive? Be the mysterious kid I rarely talk to, but everytime I do I fall in love with you a little bit.

ARTISANS (SJ)

ESFJ-  Hey there soldier. In the best case scenario, you’re cutie Monica Geller, that’s a lil anal and mildly manipulative but really! very! sweet!. In the worst case scenario you are literally my worst nightmare. Your the squad’s glue tho. Sometimes you offer a cool third perspective, but you over simplify things and don’t try to understand my crazy theories and that’s annoying. Learn to get over yourself a lil, stop playing the victim buddy and compromise. Be my friend in a few years when you learn to self reflect better.

ESTJ-  You’re a manipulative bitch. You’re so judgemental, you’re Rachel McAdams in Mean Girls. You’re pretty cool. Even more of a rampant psycho than ENTJ. I don’t like you all that much (and something tells me you don’t really care) but I respect you a LOT. Stay a safe distance away from me and please don’t judge me. You’re too savage.

ISFJ-  Hey my emo saviour. You understand everybody and nobody truly understands you. You’re the reliable Colin Firth that the world of Bridget Jones’s run to after their crazy escapades with Hugh Grant. Just remember to have standards baby, and don’t accept everyone that runs into you’re arms. You’re worth more than what most people are willing to give. Be my favourite sweet emotional little kid brother (even if you are female.)

ISTJ-  You say 'interesting’ a lot. If life were a tv show, you’d be a sassy little hate muffin that tumblr idolised that everyone would remark didnt get enough screen time. You’re all business and sometimes you should let down that gaurd fam :) Think about people a little bit more bud. I respect you. I’ll be your friend! But it will probably take three years to build up our relationship and it will probably be accidental, but im here for u anyway.

Bloom Ch. 2 (biadore)- Taurus's Splattered C*nt

A/N- We’re back back back back back again! Your favourite triple threat is back. Sorry for the wait, we hope you continue to enjoy this story and feel free to leave feedback. Thanks for all the love and support!

I just want to put it out there that our group chat gives me life. I have learned so far that Taurus and I are going to get married and move in with C*nt and Mrs. C*nt to mooch off of them. Also, Taurus is a ninja spy and has a really hot voice, and both of them are really freaking pretty and it’s not fair because I’m a toe (YOU ARE NOT A TOE YOU ARE AN ETHREAL GODDESS OF THE OCEAN -C*nt [She’s lying. I’m a toe. -Splatt]). That is all. Love you two ladies! That’s all. Hope you all enjoy! (C*nt and Taurus didn’t know what to put for an author’s note so I got to write it! Yay!)

Keep reading

No, okay, seriously, I’m reading back this fanfic for nostalgia and how did anyone think I was neurotypical?!

I’m fuckin crying. This is the most hilarious shit I’ve ever read.

We’ve got:

  • People are minefields metaphor (I actually kind of want to reuse this one in the future, it was pretty good)
  • Only being able to make friends with aliens
  • Wanting the social cue HUD that said aliens have
  • Being unable to tell the difference between helping and showing off
  • Deliberately creating an NT persona that keeps people at arm’s length
  • Unusual walking style
  • So much stimming
Tbh, I should have just sent the psychologist this fic before I got diagnosed. It would have been over in five minutes.
Ok so imagine a double date with saphael and clizzy
  • They go bowling because Simon and Clary would totally plan it
  • Simon trying to get Raphael to wear the bowling shoes
  • “Raph just put them on,” “NO THEY SMELL LIKE DEATH,” “Well we’re dead so it should’nt be that bad
  • And Clary trying to get Izzy to wear the shoes, too
  • “Can’t I just wear my heels?” “Not if you want to break your ankle,”
  • Once everyone had their shoes on and they have a lane they spend fifteen minutes deciding on their names
  • Everyone is pretty much terrible at bowling but its ok cause they’re having fun
  • Then its Raphael’s turn to bowl and he gets a strike on his first try
  • He shrugs like its no big deal while everyone else flips out
  • Izzy and Raphael talking to each other in spainish about how adorable the other two are being
  • Simon and Raphael holding hands under the table and talking while Clary teaches Izzy the best way to bowl the ball
  • Simon totally cheating by using his vampire speed to knock down the pins before anyone notices
  • they all notice
  • Clary and Izzy covering their bowling balls with runes to help them make strikes
  • But in the end Raphael beats all of them by a long shot
  • The game takes forever because everyone forgets when their turn is because they’re all having fun talking and all that jazz
  • At the end of the date they’re all happy and laughing and making plans to go bowling again the next week
  • Just, double bowling date
Pink Or Blue: A Gift to Remember

No matter how old I got, it felt like Christmas morning was the most joyous time of the year. Marco and I had decided on exchanging just a few gifts as we both had pretty much everything we wanted already but there was one special gift that remained under the tree once we were done opening the other colorful packages.

I was currently six months pregnant and my pregnancy was something I found joy in, as well did Marco. Immediately when we found out we were expecting and that I was due months after Christmas, Marco suggested we keep the gender of the baby a surprise until the holiday so we did.

We came up with the clever idea before my ultrasound to determine the gender. We spent hours creating and painting a blue ornament, in the shape of a reindeer, and a pink ornament, in the shape of a snowflake, that we brought to my visit. We had the ultrasound technician find out the gender and then select which ornament fit the gender once we were out of the room and place it into a box which I wrapped.

That small box was now the reason I was antsy as it sat wrapped and covered in snowman wrapping paper infront of both Marco and I.

“You ready?” he questioned, his eyes dancing between me and the gift box.

I had been dreaming about what it would be like to be a mother ever since I found out I was pregnant. I had even planned on how I wanted to decorate the baby’s room: a design for a baby boy and a design for a baby girl.

The idea of having my own little mini-me made my heart flutter and it was something Marco and I would playfully go back and forth over each day. He wanted a little boy, to be just like him and be a professional footballer and mimic his father. I knew regardless of what ornament was inside of the box we would be happy and we’d be wonderful parents.

This was the man I wanted to build a family with and we were finally starting.

“I’m ready. You open it.” I grabbed the box from the floor where we sat and held it out to Marco who cautiously took it into his grasp.

He bit his lip and his eyes looked towards me looking for approval as I nodded. Slowly, he began to peel the wrapping paper off of the small box. “I feel like my heart is pounding out of my chest,” he chuckled causing me to laugh along.

“Just open it! I can’t take the wait.”

Marco finally got rid of all of the wrapping paper and all that was left was for him to remove the top of the box. He stared at the gift in his hand for a few moments longer before he pulled the top off. His eyes immediately widened, causing me to lean over and peer inside. Just the hint of blue inside gave me my answer; it was a boy.

Marco removed the blue reindeer for confirmation and held it carefully in his hand as he jumped up, breaking out into a rhythmic dance with a wide grin. “It’s a boy!” he yelled. “We gotta think of names. Marco Reus Jr? Jordan Reus? Penn? Garrick?” He continued to spew off names as I laughed, tears of happiness and excitement decorating my cheeks.

“Woah, you’ve been reading a lot of baby books.” I hadn’t even settled on a list of baby names and he already had a list of his favorites picked out. It warmed my heart.

“I’m just too excited. Only a few more months and we get to meet our little prince.” He held out his hand to me to help me off of the floor and pulled me closely to his chest, kissing every inch of my face while his hand still held the ornament.

“It’ll be the best day of my life.” I peered up into his eyes as he looked down in mine, placing another kiss to my lips.

“Mine too. Now let’s go. We have a dinner to get ready for and a gift to give to my parents.” He held the reindeer and shook it twice, sending a melodic ring throughout the house. “Then we can come home and figure out how we’re going to decorate his room.” He playfully smacked my ass before rushing up the stairs to get ready for what was to continue to be a great Christmas day.

kimmich  asked:

how did you come to like germany nt?

It all started in 2014, the World Cup. Of course, I was watching for my country only. I had seen some other matches and watched Brazil - Germany (which was mad af) and I thought wow germany has a pretty good team. But I wasn’t that far ahead yet that I actually supported them. Until… until Argentina kicked my country out in the semi-finals (I’m still bitter and don’t like to talk about it). From that moment on I knew for sure I wanted Germany to win the World Cup, and I was literally screaming so hard when Sunny scored.

After the World Cup I began getting into the German NT even more and I’ve been crazy for them ever since

Looking for a RP partner

Hi my name is Anna and I’ve been wanting to get back into RPing. I connect most with Keith and so he’s the character I’ll be playing. I’m good with pretty much all ships, except for allura (I really only see her with Shiro) and Pidge (she’s like 14, a smol child). I’m down for NSFW and I’d prefer to rp over Skype or discord, but I’m open to other options. Please message me if you’re interested!

Oh yeah forgot to add, I’m autistic and headcanon Keith as autistic too. I’ll play him as NT if you want but some autistic things will probably slip in so you have to be okay with that

5

The Future of Football → Martin Ødegaard
The 16 year old wonderkid, the Norwegian Messi, the youngest ever debutant for a senior team.

“It is an honor and a dream come true. The reason I chose to join Real Madrid is that this team has the best conditions for both sporting development, as a player, and externally to develop as a person. It is the best option for me. It seems incredible to be playing for a team like this.”

NT Moments - Self-analysis
  • INTP and ENTJ talking about self-improvement and first impressions.
  • INTP: I told you before that you come off as competent and professional, but people don't necessarily want to be your friends. But you could totally present yourself as an inspirational leader, like how you inspired me to be more productive.
  • ENTJ: Hmmm...what about you? How do you present yourself?
  • INTP: What I value about myself and want people to see is that I'm creative, innovative, and I have my own mind. I don't follow the crowd. I think those do come across pretty well.
  • ENTJ: When we first met, I thought you were a bit of a ditz, but after taking to you, I realized "she actually has a brain." But what I like about you is that you have an understated competence.
  • INTP: Yea...not many people really get to see that side of me.
  • ENTJ: That's what I mean.
  • INTP: I was just thinking about this today about why it's so common for my type to hide our true thoughts, which are usually intelligent. We really value our thoughts, and they're so private to us that we only share them with few people we really trust. But we shouldn't be doing that since it's our strongest quality. I should do some experiments on this.
In Circles (Hummed)
Darren Korb, Ashley Barrett
In Circles (Hummed)

That’s right, this is the hummed version of In Circles from Transistor. This track is ripped straight from the game and the wonderful bloke who made it hasn’t modified anything, so he reckons it should sound just like it did in-game i.e. not official soundtrack-quality. I was pretty disappointed when this track wasn’t included in the soundtrack and extended soundtrack, since I wanted to have it to hum along to, but this is as good as it gets, I guess.

((there are also hummed versions of The Spine, V_n_sh_ng P__nt, _n C_rcl_s, and G_ld L__f, so drop me a message if you want them and I’ll link you to where you can get this breached soundtrack))

i have multiple problems with dirty laundry, but one thing that really stuck out like a sore thumb is how the author clearly did not talk to ANY autistic people, at all

it doesnt matter if sophia is younger than most characters, you need to talk to someone who actually has autism to write the character accurately

its pretty clear that the author googled “symptoms of autism” and then picked what they wanted to put in, because even though i can talk to strangers when its 10000000% necessary, if i (an autistic person) were in a situation where i HAD to talk to people, family or not, i would most likely talk to my closest family members instead of a cousin ive known for 8 years, let alone a cousin ive just met.

i guess what im trying to say is dirty laundry doesnt show autism: it shows a cute version of a nd for nt people that they can turn into something an adorable child does, which you know, is a huge fucking problem autistic people have to deal with, you know, being treated like children, you know that really abelist thing that people with autisim have to deal with, i wanna make this clear

dirty laundry is a terrible representation of what autisim really is

NT Moments - Shopping difficulties
  • The one pair of shoes INTP wears almost every day has become pretty much non-functional.
  • INTP: *after spending an hour going around the mall* I tried very hard to buy new shoes but I couldn't find anything I want. I have a very specific thing in mind, but I don't know what it's called, so I can't google it.
  • ENTJ: What does it look like?
  • INTP: *opens a drawing app on her phone and sketches a shoe* This!
  • ENTJ: That's an oxford with heels.
  • INTP: How do you know these things!?
  • ENTJ: Have you tried Shoes of Prey? You can customize your own shoes, and they make them for you.
  • INTP: Oh cool! *opens up the site and plays with it* This is not what I want!! This sucks!! It doesn't have the exact shape I had in mind. And they don't have the height of heels I want.
  • ENTJ: Well, they have blocks. What did you expect?
  • INTP: To be able to send my drawing and be like, here, make this one.
  • ENTJ: *laughs*
  • INTP: I'll never find new shoes...Maybe I'll just go buy the exact same style as these ones *points to the semi-broken shoes she's wearing*
7

Ok, so I often get comments about how “inaccurate” my transistor sword is! And how “obvious” it should be to make it out of acrylic or something transparent. A lot of people have already made it out of acrylic, so it’s sort of ‘already done’. My focus was to get the color and dimensions right. And I didn’t want to use a fortune on buying acrylics. 

And there has also been a lot of comments about how any sword is going to be “obsolite” when Volpin makes his Transistor sword. (omg he is really a god!) 

But I just kind of wanted to make this for my own comparison I guess. And I feel like the sword that my boyfriend and me made a year ago still holdes up! I know it does’nt light up and talk like Volpins.

So back to the point of this! Even though you’re not a prop god, you can still pull of pretty cool cosplay stuff! And that you shouldn’t be scared if someone already has made- or is going to make “the perfect version”. (that actually has light and audio, dear god all mighty)  It’s cosplay, have fun with it!

highlights from the ellen autistic barista video (the interview, not the video Carly Fleischmann made of sam) :

“kids who were with autism” (the manager says this entertainingly awkward phrase to describe the camp for autistic kids where he met sam)

the manager hired sam (autistic person) without an interview basically because he’s autistic and felt bad for him?? (that is the impression i get from how he wanted to make sam’s dream come true by hiring him?)

sam’s manager: “sam has made me a better person”

ellen: “you’re an inspiration, sam” 

sam stims openly at work and that’s pretty rad. it’s also cool to see him rock back and forth on national TV and not be shamed for it.

this segment would have been infinitely better if they didn’t use words like “inspiration” or act like sam exists to teach NTs (including his customers) to be better people. also, if you’re telling a story of “autistic person gets job despite being told he was unemployable!” maybe autistic people should be your target audience. it shouldn’t be a feel-good segment made for NTs to give themselves backpats for giving us basic decency. :(

Making your relationship public w/ Shawn!

Requested - yes.

Y/n Pov
“Y/n” Shawn shouted. “In here babe” I shouted back. He walked into the living room where I was watching Pretty Little Liars on Netflix, he came over and paused the tv, and grabbed my hands. “Shawn your scaring me” I said. “Hey it’s nothing that bad, just we’ve been dating nearly a year in secret, I think we should tell the fans” he said. I didn’t know what to say, the fans won’t like me I know but I don’t want to hurt him, I just feel so insecure about it. “I do-nt kn-ow Shawn, I do-nt want the fans to hate me, I’m no-t really the be-st” I was stuttering everything I said, I also didn’t realise I had starting crying when Shawn put his hands around me. “Hey baby don’t worry, the fans will love you, and if they don’t then they’re not fans” he replied placing a long kiss to my lips. Later that night he had tweeted out that we was dating and we got loads of really good comments, no hate at all, everything went great. “Told you they’d like you baby” he said. I replied by kissing his lips, and he slowly turned it into a make out session, and we ended up cuddling on the sofa watching Netflix.

A/n - Hope this is what you wanted, sorry if it’s shorten then my normal imagines, requests are open for anything people want, and I’ve just hit 1.8k followers so thank-you so much, help me get to 2k please would be great! Requests are open guys, love you all💖

Zara😻

NT Moments - Kiss my ass
  • ENTJ asked INTP to review an email he's about to send.
  • INTP: That's pretty aggressive. Kinda rude.
  • ENTJ: He was a dick to me first. I just want to make a point that I'm not gonna kiss anyone's ass.
  • INTP: You kiss my ass a lot.
  • ENTJ: That's because you're rational.
  • INTP: You kiss my ass because I'm rational?
  • ENTJ: Yes.
  • INTP: Mmmmmm