You have no idea how excited I was to write this
“Ayato, I think we have something we need to discuss.” Eto said solemnly, her hand firm on Ayato’s shoulder.
He made a disgusted face and tried to pull away from her, but Eto was a lot stronger than she looked. She adjusted her glasses with the tip of her index finger and looked to Tatara, who nodded once.
“You see, you’re a growing boy. You’re sixteen now, am I correct?”
“Yes? What of it?” He snapped, wanting nothing more than to rip from her grasp.
“As I suspected.” She turned to Tatara and shook her head. “Poor boy.”
Ayato was growing increasingly irritated, and it was showing. His fists were clenched and he was grinding his teeth.
“You see, young Kirishima, when a man starts to become, well, a man, he goes through many … changes. I’m fairly certain you’ve experienced these changes. They are not unlike that of a human teenager. Now, tell me are you getting hair in strange place?”
“Oh, FUCK no.” Realization dawned upon Ayato, and even with one hard yank, he still could not free himself from the eccentric woman before him.
“These changes can be both wonderful and scary. Ultimately, these changes are what is going to help you find a mate that you can procreate with. Do you know what procreation is, Ayato?”
“Fuck, yes! Let me go! I do NOT need to hear this from you! STOP!”
Eto held up a hand to silence him and plowed on as if she hadn’t heard him in the first place.
“You see, when a man loves a woman very much, he will experience tingly tingles - “ Eto leaned to his ear and cupped her hand over to stage a whisper. “- tingly tingles… down…. there.”
Her eyes flicked to his jeans and Ayato turned at least twenty shades of red. He opened his mouth to retaliate against being held captive, but Eto merely clapped her hand over his mouth and went on.
“Now, when a man feels those tingly tingles, he will get the urge to, uh, do the do. Make the beast with two backs. Pump and dump. Have THE SEX.”
Ayato made a pleading glance at Tatara, which went completely ignored. Eto looked like she was enjoying herself more than she should’ve.
“You will then proceed to stick your happy stick into her garden of eternal majesty, and do so multiple times -” Eto stopped talking to demonstrate a vulgar hand motion. “That is, unless you find the same sex attractive, and it usually works the same way - just with a different garden -”
Ayato managed to break free, his face completely red. His arms flailed like mad and he finally swatted Eto away and broke into a sprint in the opposite direction.
“I was just trying to be educational.” Eto huffed, crossing her arms. She looked at Tatara and sighed. “Teenagers.”