now. And they can be nasty to each other for no reason

Homestuck Pool Party Headcanons

John: Canonballs in IMMEDIATELY, he is yelling and he is fucking excited move out of the way this boy is coming through!! Also, because he has a breath aspect I am 413% certain that he can stay underwater for indefinite amounts of time and you can bet your ass he’s going around grabbing people’s feet to freak them out. He and Terezi have a contest to see who can make the most people jump, I will not say who wins I will only say that it is unfortunate for everyone involved. He and Dave are an unstoppable chicken team, they have never lost and will do Whatever It Takes to make sure that remains true.

Dave: Is just chillin, he cares more about keeping his shades dry than swimming around. He will go hard as hell in Marco Polo tho, if you thought he was too cool to jump at the nearest person faster than the speed of light you were wrong buddy he will do what it takes to WIN. Also, when he is the Marco he will (unfairly) target Karkat. This is frustrating. “I’m not even being that loud” Karkat protests for the umpteenth time Dave tags him. “Bullshit” everyone else says, but there’s still a rule that Dave can’t tag Karkat more than five times in a row because really Dave we know you love hearing him yell but Enough Please.

Karkat: Is Bad At Marco Polo. He is so loud. My son. Please. Is very hesitant to get into the water at first bc he’s sensitive to the cold and would rather angrily sweat than deal with the initial shock of getting in. Dave will patiently chill nearby until Karkat is ready, or Dave decides that Karkat is ready in which he will absolutely drag him in. Karkat does not know how to swim so he won’t go past the shallow end, and considering how short he is, uh, that’s not very much of the pool. Dave has to carry him sometimes which he complains about A Lot but secretly kind of likes it whoops. Karkat and Sollux are the shittiest chicken team, Karkat is too afraid of falling in to have any sort of effective strategy and Sollux is like “Karkat just push him” and sort of plows into the other team which just leads to Karkat screeching and nothing gets done.

Roxy: LOVES SWIMMING WITH HER FRIENDS!!! Real people?? That she’s hanging out with?? And you KNOW she’s excited to wear that cute as fuck bikini she alchemized months ago ‘just in case’ ;) ;) ;). After years of knowing Jane and her silly prankster shenanigans, John will absolutely not get the drop on her no sir, he tries to grab her foot she will raise that leg and pull the boy out of the water and give him the Mom Look™. This is war. John will not win. She loves being with Jane and Roxy and her boys!! She is just full of so much love it’s incredible. She deserves this so much.

Calliope: Doesn’t know much about swimming or why humans (and trolls ish) find it so enjoyable, but Roxy is excited so she is too! Interestingly enough, cherubs Do Not Float. Roxy is waving a nervous Callie into the pool and she’s coming down the ladder and once it gets to her chin everyone expects her to do something but no, she makes it to the bottom of the pool and just walks like normal over to where Roxy is. The water level comes up to just below her nose and she has to tilt her head back to speak. “Like this?” She asks excitedly, ‘uh,,, yeah,,,like that’ everyone responds nervously, giving big smiles and thumbs up because they don’t want to disappoint her.

Jade: A master swimmer, she and Jake grew up on an island in the middle of the goddamn pacific my girl knows how to GO. No one realized how fucking ripped Jade was. Jade is ripped as heck. She’s got back and shoulder muscles like an absolute goddess and everyone is like holy shit? Jade? Have you been benching pumpkins all these years? She likes chilling with Jane and Roxy and Calliope because she has been longing for some gals to hang with forever. Not that she doesn’t love Rose, she does, it’s just, they have such differing personalities and anyways it’s kind of hard being around her and Kanaya bc they’re so cute it makes your teeth hurt.

Rose: She and Kanaya have matching floppy sun hats, they love laying out in the sun because Kanaya is a little nervous around water thanks to a certain sea-dweller *cough* eridan *cough*. Rose doesn’t mind, her swimsuits are more for show than swim anyways. She’s got some really cool and intricate goth-y ones and some nice lighthearted pastel ones, an orange and yellow fancy one-piece and a frilly lavender one. Rose has a new appreciation for sunlight but still religiously applies sunscreen because a home girl may be immortal, but fuck if she is gonna deal with any nasty sunburns after defeating the fucking embodiment of evil.

Kanaya: As previously stated, very nervous around water, but so so happy to be in the sun?? It’s not as bright as the one on Alternia which is fine because that means her troll friends can enjoy it too, but she’s literally just so happy to be around people that enjoy the sun the way she does because she’s felt wrong and different about it for years and she finally found someone that understands her ahhshshsjs. She designs all of Rose’s swimsuits and loves seeing her wear them. When it gets dark out, she likes to turn on the glow a little and all these cute little furry wingbeasts will flock to her?? “Those are moths” Rose tells her. “These are my children now” Kanaya pats Rose’s arm, they’re her children too because that’s how human marriage works she’s pretty sure

Dirk: Is so awkward oh my godddd, a little uncomfortable in his body actually? This boy might have muscle but he is all arms and legs and doesn’t know what to do with them because he’s never fuckifnfnfn been around people before. Doesn’t say “Marco” during Marco Polo, he just listens. Breath too loud? You’re tagged. Splash a little? Tagged. Move? Tagged. He’s never Marco for more than two minutes because he’s so in tune with his reflexes that no one even stands a chance. With Jake on his shoulders, they make a decent chicken team, but they’re too worried about each other to be effective. “You okay up there?” He wants to make sure. Someone is tipping Jake over oh no get him off my shoulders is he okay, oh he’s fine, yes I know how the game works Roxy, no Rose why don’t you get in the pool and do a better job before you come for me like that. Rose and Kanaya, in an extremely rare occurrence, do get in for a round of chicken. They beat Dirk and Jake almost immediately. They return to the deck. This never happened and we don’t speak of it.

Jake: Is bad at Marco Polo, he’s an amazing swimmer but he’s not…quiet. After growing up on that island, fighting and swimming, Jake is also Ripped as Heck. Dirk blushes his fucking ass off the first time he sees Jake shirtless. Jake acts all clueless like oh? What’s wrong Dirk? Is something the matter? But he knows exactly what he’s doing and if he’s subtly flexing in front of him, well. That can’t be helped. He may suck during chicken with Dirk, but with Jade on his shoulders? Hoo boy, they give Dave and John a run for their money. He is also John’s favorite to grab the feet of because his reactions are always so over the top with his phrasing. “Horsefeathers!” He grabs at his foot in panic because his first thought is it was one of the monsters from his island, then he sees it was just John who is laughing his ass off because, horse feathers? Really? “I say,” Jake huffs indignantly even though he’s smiling now. “Warn a fellow!”

Jane: Looks rockin’ in her swimsuits because she’s wearing the whole high waisted pinup style ones and?? She’s super gorgeous? Roxy makes sure to tell her that every five seconds just in case she forgets. She and Roxy make a decent chicken team, usually they’re laughing so hard by the end of it that whoever was on top can’t do anything and they fall off because they don’t care about winning they’re just having such a good time. She and Roxy take turns carrying Callie around when the water gets too deep, not that Callie needs to be above the water per se as she seems to have no trouble breathing, but it just makes everyone a little more comfortable and anyways Callie loves it.

Terezi: Killer at Marco Polo for obvious reasons, sometimes she gets tagged on purpose just to show off how quickly she can find people. The only person she’s never been able to get is John, he uses his windy powers to obscure his scent so she can’t “see” him. He is her Marco Polo white whale. One day, John, one day. She and Vriska are terrifying during chicken, Vriska will plow full speed towards the opposing team and Terezi is ready to Throw Hands. The most intense games are between them and John and Dave, both John and Terezi are on top and they fuckin battle it out so hard that Dave and even Vriska start to get nervous on the bottom.

Sollux: Says the water feels slimy. “No shit,” Karkat tells him. “It’s water you fucking shitstain.” Sollux cheats during chicken by using his psiionics to keep Karkat on his shoulders which only makes Karkat mad because he’s terrified of falling in and holy shit Sollux I don’t care what you think your powers are doing I’m gonna fall in fuck fuck fuck. “No I got you” Sollux assures him. He does not. Karkat is not got. Oh well. Sollux mostly likes chilling on inner tubes, plural. He has a blue one and a red one because he’s too tall to fit in just one. “Get a bigger inner tube” Karkat complains. “Perhaps get one of those long, recliner like ones?” Kanaya suggests. No. Sollux will use two inner tubes. He will make the sacrifice of comfort for his aesthetic.

Humans are weird

Ok, getting on the humans are weird bandwagon….

It surprises me that we haven’t talked about the most obvious thing: humans imagine things. Humans outright make shit up. (Like these posts?) Human stories often aren’t retellings of things that actually happened. Art often isn’t a depiction of true events. Humans - for want of a better word - humans sublimate. They transform their experiences into outlandish non-reality for each others’ amusement.

It takes forever for first contact to start because the aliens planning it keep getting confused by first radio, then television. Some of these depictions can’t be possible - but which ones? The first time War of the Worlds reaches the Kuiper belt, someone panics and has to double check that a more aggressive group hasn’t actually invaded.

After humans are finally integrated into galactic culture, some issues crop up.

“Did you clean the waste facility?” the Janitorial Supervisor asks.

“Well, I would have,” the human starts, then proceeds to tell an outrageous story about a cleaning bot with a knife strapped to its back which has the entire crew searching the ship for hours. The entire crew except for the humans.

The Captain finds the humans “searching” the self-poisoning cabinet in one of the crew quarters.

“Oh my god,” the First Officer says, on seeing the Captain’s dust-speckled upper ears. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you really fell for that. Stabby is a cryptid, Harold!”

The Captain’s name is not Harold, but that is another, even longer story.

The Captain exhales. “What is a cryptid?”

The assistant medical officer sits up straighter, his drink sloshing dangerously. The Captain has learned what “a gleam in his eye” means and how to detect it. They sit, resigned. There’s no escaping now.

An hour later, the Captain explains the concept of cryptids in considerably less detail to the embarrassed and confused Supervisor. Along with the concept of lying.

“But how do you know the difference?” the Supervisor asks, wringing their tentacles in mixed embarrassment and worry.

“Find another human,” the Captain advises. “Check for signs of mirth.”

This turns out to be prescient, because on their next planetary stop, two of the human field officers come running back into the base camp, out of breath and without the rest of their scouting team.

“Nasty buggers with teeth!” one gasps. Though the other officers appear skeptical, the Captain glances at the First Officer, who is already setting down her meal and grabbing her favorite flamethrower. The assistant medical officer yanks his kit straps over his shoulders, face grim.

“Arm yourselves,” the Captain tells the rest.

It takes about four hours, but they get everyone back more or less intact. The humans change the sign in the rec room on the ship to read: “Us: 6, Them: 0″. There is a ritual raising of liquor-filled glasses, even by the injured who are forbidden self-poisoning. The Captain begins temporary hibernation very relieved that humans are so willing to count other species as “us”.

When they ask the First Officer about it two cycles later, the First Officer looks confused, then knowing.

“My great grandmother remembers when you first showed up. They picked your people for first contact for a reason, didn’t they?”

“We look the most like you.”

“Yeah, well, that was a bad call. Gran says humans debated for months whether or not you were just other humans with good prosthetic makeup.”

The Captain blinks at this. “Most peoples are shocked and upset to learn the rest of the sentient universe does not share their appearance. Wait.” They pause. “Is that why we had so many applicants for the Janitorial position?”

The First Officer ignores that, as she usually does when the Captain doesn’t really want to know the answer.

“Do you know why cryptids exist? Why horror and violence and monsters exist in our stories?” she asks instead.

The Captain twitches both sets of ears ‘no’. “It seems unnecessary to frighten yourselves over things that don’t exist.”

“But nasty buggers with teeth do exist, even if we haven’t met them yet,” she says grimly. “And we were ready, weren’t we?”

It’s true. The humans on board have been terrifyingly adaptable, even in their violence.

The Captain feels their way carefully. “You think about things that don’t exist… sometimes even things that distress and terrify you… so that you can be ready when you face real things that distress and terrify you?”

“See, this is why you’re the Captain, Harold.” The First Officer slaps their shoulder hump cheerfully, careful to avoid the spines. “And better yet, we share the things we imagine with each other. It’s like a mental vaccine.”

“And it works?”

“Eh, sometimes. It’s not perfect. Sometimes we don’t mark our vaccines properly, or don’t realize we’re adding things we didn’t mean to. Some of them have a bad effect on some people, for various reasons. But we joined the galactic community in less than a generation. Has any other species ever done that?”

“You imagined us before you met us.”

“Now you’re getting it.”

strilondes & co stupid s’mores post

Karkat: his marshmallow is engulfed in flames. dave keeps telling him to take it out. this only makes him more stubborn. shut up I’m doing this my own way. he has created charcoal. it is disgusting. he’ll eat it anyway because dave will make fun of him if he doesnt. dave makes fun of him for eating it. he cannot win

Dave: he keeps making his marshmallow touch other marshmallows. except karkat’s because it is on fire. everyone regards this with benign amusement except john who keeps telling him to knock it off you damn doofus you are going to knock them off into the fire. challenge accepted. they are passive aggressively trying to knock each other’s marshmallows into the fire. in an inexplicable turn of events roxy wins. they didn’t even realize she was trying. dave blames john. john blames dave. roxy feels bad and makes them both perfect s’mores after. they accept this, begrudgingly. roxy sits between them. she puts her arms around the both of them. leans forward and innocently asks if there are any other challengers. no one accepts

Dirk: perfectly roasts his marshmallow. burns his hands pulling it off the stick. pretends that this didnt happen. is annoyed by how it is impossible to eat a smore without getting marshmallow shit all over his face. no one look at me. fuck, everyone is looking. rose is raising her eyebrows at him. jake is grinning at him. just eat it. come on

Jake: bets karkat he can eat more of them than he can. they lose track of who is winning somewhere around number nine. karkat accuses him of cheating b/c hes breaking off the graham cracker pieces outside the lines so his are smaller. jake calls him a whiny soft gut wiggler. karkat mashes a half melted marshmallow into jakes hair. they eat six more each and then bond over a mutual inability to endure even a whiff of the scent of marshmallow or chocolate without gagging for months thereafter

Rose: likes her marshmallows slightly burnt. makes fun of dave for barely toasting his. dave scoffs at her. you just like ur marshmallows the way you like your soul, black and shriveled. rose grins. why thank u dave. youre so sweet. she makes aggressive eye contact as she consumes half the smore in one bite. graham cracker and marshmallow go everywhere. god damn smores and their notorious structural instability. dave and roxy snort when they laugh. rose wipes her face with a paper napkin, balls it up and throws it at them. at least my marshmallows are warm inside. yours are cold & nasty and that’s the facts

Kanaya: doesnt super get it b/c lets face it sweets are kind of ???? when you’re a vampire who constantly craves the coppery taste of questionable liquid sustenance. she eats four anyway because it seems to be The Thing. It’s actually not the worst thing in the world. she slowly collects all the dark chocolate. these are mine. jane asks where tf the dark chocolate bars all went. kanaya looks up, a half melted marshmallow speared on her fangs, sucking the melty fluff out of the middle. it was definitely not me, she says, around a mouthful. uh. yes of course not, jane agrees. she sits back down. her eyes are v. wide. no one questions it again. kanaya privately delights at her good fortune. her story is rock solid and no one suspects her at all and now all these delicious bitter bars are hers and also half rose’s because she’s pretty sure that’s how human marriage works ?? ? ..?

Roxy: puts 7 marshmallows on a stick and creates a toasted gradient. eats the marshmallows directly off the stick. dirk informs her the noises shes making as she does this are borderline obscene. please stop. roxy makes aggressive eye contact as she eats the next one in line like a fuckin marshmallow corncob. dirk throws a marshmallow bag at her. roxy asks him if the marshmallow stick hes using has any relation to the one lodged up his ass. jake chokes on his 14th smore. jane apologizes on their behalf to everyone else present. roxy queues another 7 marshmallows, smirking

Callie: collects one (1) smore from everyone b/c she wants to try out everyones styles. she compliments them all effusively but secretly likes jane’s the best. she cant believe shes finally found this, a sweet that she can also roast mercilessly over an open flame. truly these are gods gift to cherubs. she eats them steadily with no sign of stopping. ppl begin to notice. they become concerned. they are running out of marshmallows. callie. callie we had like ten times as many bags as any reasonable group of people could ever hope to go through in one sitting. what is happening. callie waves them off. she’s still crunching away. she is Content

this is my @aftgexchange gift for @sirandking i’m not sure if this is quite what u were hoping for n it’s messy but idk i kinda like it 

tw for mentions of alcohol as a coping mechanism, as well as super brief blink-and-you-miss-it mentions of riko, drugs and self-harm

ao3 link


“That sweater is new,” Kevin comments as he seats himself in the beanbag next to Andrew’s, passing over a mug of coffee as he does so. It’s a small, meaningless comment - the kind of small talk they both collectively despise - but it’s something, and since the death of Riko, Kevin’s found that there are not really any other threads connecting the two of them. Silence has panned out between them for weeks. He tells himself he’s irritated by it because it’s bad for the team’s dynamics - a rapport with your teammates is essential for a successful team. He won’t admit that Andrew is probably the closest thing to a friend Kevin has around here, except for maybe Neil.

He doesn’t expect his comment to be dignified with a response; he knows Andrew well enough to know to expect perhaps a nod of acknowledgement, or a stony look his way, questioning and judging his observation. Nevertheless, the silence makes him ever-so-slightly self-conscious, so as his eyes catch the way the sleeves fall over Andrew’s hands, he tacks on a lousy “–and too big for you.”

Andrew Minyard has always been best at defying expectations.

“It’s not mine,” he responds coolly, devoid of emotion or even acknowledgment, eyes still trained on the contents of his mug as he mutters, as though talking to no one.

It’s an easy enough admittance, casual and shameless, yet it still manages to leave Kevin embarrassingly taken aback. He knows, realistically, that he probably has the best insight into the relationship between Andrew and Neil than any other outsider, however he’s still never quite got it. The logical part of his brain tells him it shouldn’t work - two people both so shattered and fiery, like shards of broken glass, in such close proximity can only end in further shattering, as far as he’s aware. And flames. It’s concerning, something with so much power, with so many sparks - just one wrong move could become a savage wildfire that burns his team down to nothing more than ashes. It’s risky and dangerous and stupid and he hates it, is terrified of it, but this admittance that comes so easily changes something in him.

Because something about the idea of Andrew Minyard curled into a beanbag with a cup of coffee and his boyfriend ’s (and isn’t that in itself another unexpected and ever-so-slightly strange thing to wrap his head around) sweater on feels less like untamed sparks and more like a candle light. And that’s much more soothing than terrifying, even if it is still a little strange to him.  

Perhaps trying to understand this would be a good idea, he concludes. So he asks “When did all this start for you anyway?” waving a hand conspiratorially to punctuate the question. And this time he’s almost convinced he’ll be ignored, or delivered a vague, meaningless answer as a result of the unspecific question, but the furrow of Andrew’s brow as he lifts his gaze up to Kevin’s tells him otherwise. It’s a strange, uncharted territory.

“February.”

“You liked him before then,” Kevin suddenly finds himself accusing before he can stop himself, still processing this new information, whilst considering every sign he could remember, the most poignant being the way Andrew did things for nobody but Neil. Could only have his arm twisted by Neil. Had always drifted towards Neil, had never raised a knife to Neil, had always been straight with admittances to Neil; Neil, Neil, Neil was the exception to every rule of the Andrew Minyard handbook, the one Kevin had studied meticulously and still never found a loophole in. He finds himself itching to know more.

“I hate him.” Andrew deadpans, a reflex at this point, and if Kevin was anyone else, he’d have furrowed his brow, wrinkled up his nose, frowned and found himself reprimanding Andrew, but he’s not anyone else, so he smirks instead, because he thinks he’s finally starting to understand how Andrew works, and this kind of understanding is as scintillating as it is spine-chilling, like watching a horror film, driving past a car crash or finding a spider in your room - the kind of fear that keeps you captivated, unable to tear your eyes away from it even when you know it’s awful, and you shouldn’t, and if this is what Andrew feels around Neil, no wonder he hates him. Andrew has never enjoyed feeling, as far as Kevin knows, and something so intense and contradictory, something that can’t be calculated and analysed can only be devastating.

The words “I know,” feel foreign and awkward on his tongue, his body tense as they slip out and it all multiplies when Andrew’s blank stare shifts from the mug he warms his hands on to Kevin’s face. “Why him?” he eggs on, trying to coax something out of Andrew, whether it be more answers and information, something to help him understand, or just a reaction, something to put the world back in order and dissolve the itchy curiosity and mere residue of fear that has settled on his skin.

Andrew ignores it entirely. “You’ve reached your daily quota of questions you can ask me for free.” He pauses, as though considering something for a moment, before finally deciding against whatever it is and dismissing Kevin with a curt “You can go now.”

Kevin goes.


The next time Kevin sees Andrew, it’s because he’s paused the exy game on his laptop and emerged from his room for the first time in hours after smelling something divine. He is greeted with the sight of an unholy amount of Indian food scattered across the table, and isn’t sure whether he wants to kiss Andrew (if he was not in a relationship, if Andrew was not in a relationship, if either of them were in any way attracted to each other and if he had a death wish - none of which are even remotely true) or kill him, because really , this is not how future professional athletes should eat, but he can hear Jean’s voice in his head telling him to relax, to loosen the tight leash of control he has over his life in order for total success, thus he reluctantly picks up the spare fork left on the side and a tub of something orange, before sitting on the other end of

the sofa to Andrew.

“Nicky and Aaron will be here soon,” Andrew states at the exact same time that Kevin asks “Where’s Neil?”, changing his course of action to start Kevin down instead.

There’s a handful of new mottled bruises adorning his face from who knows where, and a nasty looking cut beneath his eye that he’s certain Aaron will fuss over later, much to Andrew’s dismay, and for a moment he considers asking if he’s okay,  before swiftly realising what a stupid idea that is and dismissing it completely as Andrew opens his mouth again.

“I’m not his keeper.”

“I know.” Again. Andrew sighs.

“Did I or did I not tell you that you have asked as many free questions as you are permitted to today?” This time, as Andrew snaps, Kevin hears it.

“Free?” he asks around a mouthful of rice, swallowing hastily before he continues. “So if I give you something, I can ask more?”

It’s a rhetorical question, but Andrew grants him a small nod anyway. “Neil and I have - had - a thing.” Kevin agonisingly anticipates his next words as Andrew scoops up another mouthful of food. Static silence stretches out between them until he swallows again. “Truth for truth. For everything you ask me, I ask you something.”

“Deal.”

“It’s my turn.” His gaze shoots skywards, face contorting in mock-thought. “Why are you so interested?”

“In?”

He rolls his eyes. “Do I have to spell it out?” is punctuated with a sigh. “Me and Neil.”

“I don’t understand it,” is all Kevin replies, because, really, he’s not all too sure.

“Understand what?”

“Any of it. It’s a lot to process.” Andrew nods as Kevin finishes, despite the answer being indisputably lame.

“It’s your turn.”

“Why him?” falls out of Kevin’s mouth again like a reflex. He watches as Andrew’s blank expression twitches and his eyes shut for a second in something akin to stoicism.

“He’s interesting.” Kevin knows how much that means from a perpetually bored man.

“He’s kind of messed up,” he replies hesitantly, though there’s really no “kind of,” - there’s not doubt that Neil’s messed up - and he isn’t sure whether his words are a challenge or a disagreement.

There’s something almost wistful in Andrew’s eyes. “Exactly.”

Kevin gets that, too. The reason things have always worked with Thea, even when others told him, told both of them , that they shouldn’t, is because she always got it. She knew what it was like to be a Raven, she knew the complicated relationship he had with Riko and the Moriyamas, she never judged, never told him his reactions were gratuitous or invalid, she just understood .

Understanding, true understanding, is unparalleled in rarity, and perhaps the most coveted trait of all.

“Why alcohol?” interrupts Kevin from his thoughts, and it takes him a moment longer than it should to process that it’s Andrew’s turn again.

“What?” Kevin asks, wrinkling up his face.

“You could have any coping mechanism you wanted: drugs, self-harm, running yourself to the bone, food addiction, therapy, adult colouring books…” he lists off, his eyes infinitesimally lighter than usual, and Kevin resists the urge to roll his eyes, because of course the only person who can amuse Andrew Minyard is Andrew Minyard. “Why alcohol?” he repeats.

“It’s the only thing that can make me forget.”

“There are drugs that could do that much easier,” Andrew replies, but there are lines in his forehead as he tacks on “probably.”

“After Seth and Aaron,” Kevin responds cautiously, “and you – cracker dust is the worst I swore I’d ever do. And that–” he pauses again, mind casting him back to nights at Eden, panic attacks in toilet stalls and the burn in his throat that leaves his brain null and void of all things Evermore. “–It’s not enough on its own.”

“It’s weak. And unhealthy.”

“I know.” He replies, and there’s something cold and cumbersome building up at the pit of his stomach as the topic is stretched out like an elastic band, millimetres away from snapping or closing back in on itself, so he tries his hardest not to trip over words as they stumble out of his mouth. “It’s my turn again. How does it work - you and him - after everything? Your past. How do you–”

“No.” Andrew cuts him off, fists clenching tighter around the cutlery in his hands. “You don’t get to ask that. Something else.”

Kevin doesn’t say sorry, but his face does, even if there’s something about pulling a reaction out of Andrew that sets his nerves on fire. “What are you scared of?”

Andrew blinks at him once, empty composure regained. “Heights.”

Kevin’s face wrinkles up. How can a man who has spent so long mocking Kevin for his fears of the Moriyamas, of the Ravens, of death , be afraid of something so trivial, something that is a fear of death, in a way, in itself. “I thought you said you weren’t afraid of death.”

“I’m not.” Andrew replies, a hint of a sneer on his face as he adds “And I hate that word.”

“Afraid?” Kevin asks, shrugging when Andrew nods. “If you’re not afraid of death, what is it about heights that you’re scared of?”

“Falling.” Andrew replies hollowly, and Kevin’s about to ask more, about to ask about how he can go to a rooftop so often with Neil - does Neil know? - when the conversation is interrupted by the sound of a key in the lock, and the two boys shift around just in time to watch a drenched Neil, looking like he’s just taken a fully-clothed shower, stumble through the door, flanked by Dan and Allison, both also varying levels of waterlogged.

As the girls immediately make their way over to the excess of food lying on the table, eyes wide and begging Andrew and Kevin to let them have some, Neil slides effortlessly into the space between them and turns to Andrew, who tentatively reaches out towards him and ruffles a hand through his hair, watching as Neil slides his soiled jacket off and finally wiping his now wet hand on Neil’s shirt to dry it.

The sides of Neil’s mouth twitch and Kevin battles with the urge to turn away, to leave.

“There’s enough food there to feed a small army,” Neil mutters, low enough that the words were really meant only for Andrew, and softer than Kevin’s ever heard. It’s more than slightly disconcerting.

“You’re a small army,” Andrew retorts, only Neil must be hearing something else completely in that, because next thing he knows, Neil’s turned around to face the girls who are still fawning over the makeshift banquet.

“Invite the rest of the team and you can help yourselves,” he states, watching with eyes showing something reminiscent of fondness as Allison immediately pulls her phone out and Dan digs through their drawers for extra cutlery.

Neil turns back to Andrew, the ghost of a smile hanging from his mouth fading after a second, face wrinkling up.

“Isn’t that sweater mine?”

Kevin’s mind may say “Disgusting,” but he can feel the sides of his mouth quirk upwards as he finds Andrew’s face encrusted with crumbs of fear like he’s tumbling, freefalling, into an abyss.

Humans are weird

Again, I had a thought.

So, Human protectiveness. Sure, we can be aggressive when protecting our friends but not always. We can have different levels of it.

If some nasty Alien is disrespecting your crew member Nala by telling bad jokes and stabbing at her species you just grab Nala’s slim form and turn her around.
“Ignore that idiot, you and I are having Ice Cream with Netflix. Did I tell you your tentacles look sooo shiny today?”
Like, we make them forget the bad and remind them they have nice friends anyways.

Then we have verbal abuse. Very clever and mean ways to break spirit.
“What did you say to our Captain? You with your [insert word] and your [insert word] are so awful you should never have left home you [bleeep] [bleep]! Don’t even get me started on that tail.”
Our crew is silent because they never thought we had that vocabulary. That we could nail down another creatures faults and flaws and ultimately break someone’s spirit. The other Aliens leave with their tail behind their legs, devastated.

But don’t threaten us. Because there is no turning back from a human who has been disrespected and threatened.

War'lac had known it was a bad idea to bring two humans along to the negotiation. But the Pleets had insisted, wanting to see what the humans were like up close. The Pleets, fat and gross beings with four black eyes and bio blades along their forearms, enjoyed war and pillage. The humans had declined working with their kind and for good reason.
Human Jenna had been calm the entire meeting but Human Becca had silently been fuming as the Pleets stated their requests.
“You have entered a zone that we conquered 6 clicks ago. Comply or perish.” The Pleet leader said and Wer'lac shrunk back.
“We won’t last to the next solar system without our rations! And we only have a defensive weapon to use against stray asteroids. To pick it apart and hand it over…”
They laughed and Wer'lac knew it was useless. Their own crew were not species of fighting or war. They were explorers and scientists.
“And also, if you do not comply quickly, we will start by taking your humans.” Their leader said and pointed at Jenna with a green finger. Human Jenna looked genuinely surprised and Human Becca… she had that infamous stare in her eyes.
“What?” Human Becca asked, her voice ice cold. Wer'lac flinched and tried to calm their human.
“We’ll grab the cute one, and destroy her before your very eyes. Skin her alive and tie her up agains the cockpit glass. ”
The Pleets laughed and Wer'lac looked at them with horror. He glanced at Human Jenna, who was barely breathing. No, she was staring just as Human Becca was. Human Becca stood slowly and leaned across the table on her hands. Her voice lowered without breaking the stare.
“What did you say?” She asked, a calm wrath in her voice. Wer'lac looked between them, helplessly.
“Don’t worry, we can do the same to you too.” The Pleets leader said, showing teeth. That was the last thing he said.
Human Jenna and Human Becca never shared at word or look but still sprung at the same time. Across the table they jumped one Pleet each and then chaos broke loose.
Bones were broken. Skin was torn open by scratching. It was a dance of legs and arms inflicting damage with every hit. Eyes were dug out of their skulls with clawed fingers.

Wer'lac had assumed that Human Jenna had sharpened her finger nails that morning for aesthetic purposes. That’s what she had told him. Now he felt uncertain of it.

Human Becca had dislocated an arm and torn it from its owners body. She inspected it closely and then dumped it on the floor. Three were dead, two moaned in pain and the last one limped away. Human Jenna looked after him but shrugged.
“Let him tell the others. They’ll learn to not cross us again.” She said. Human Becca looked at her stained clothes and sniffed the blood.
“It smells spicy. You think we can eat them?” She asked. Jenna shrugged.
“Only one way to find out.”

Wer'lac sat frozen in his seat. He had forgotten the tales of human encounters and the warnings they came with. The humans in his crew had been so nice and docile and protective he had forgotten their true nature.
Apex omnivorous predators. Stalkers and killers. Intelligent and creative.
He was happy to have them on his side and not the other way around.

Gravity Falls AU

Rather than being twins, Lance and Pidge are best friends who wind up at the Mystery Shack because of Pidge. She’s been searching for cryptids her whole life, and she has a pen pal by the name of Hunk who is constantly sharing all of these stories about his home town and the weird things that go on there. So, directly after graduating high school, the two of them set out to Altea (Gravity Falls).

Pidge here is, obviously, taking the place of Dipper. She’s searching for the abnormal, the mysterious, wants to prove to Lance that things like Bigfoot and aliens do exist. Her older brother Matt went missing when she was just a kid, and she’s convinced something paranormal took him and needs to prove it. He was 16 when he disappeared, she was 8, and he vanished while on his yearly camping trip with some friends in Altea. 

Lance becomes Mabel, obsessed with knitting and boys (and girls) and, even though he is skeptical about all things supernatural (except ghosts, ghosts are totally real), he cares about Pidge a lot and he knows she wants to find Matt. He calls her the little sister he wanted instead of the ones he got (she’s a year younger than him, skipped a grade in middle school, and he stood up for her against a bunch of bullies. They’ve been joined at the hip since). 

Hunk, Pidge’s pen pal in this au, is Soos. He works for the Mystery Shack, so he gets a first hand look at everything that goes on in the woods surrounding the area. He has also just graduated high school and is saving money, taking a skip year before going to college for engineering, and his friend Shiro offered him the job. 

Shiro is replacing Grunkle Stan. Shiro is 25, and he moved up to Oregon after a camping incident that happened when he was just 16 (shocker, same one that made Matt vanish). He’s agreed to take Pidge and Lance in when they get there, seeing as he has an extra room upstairs, so long as they pitch in every now and then. If Hunk trusts them, so does he, but Hunk failed to mention that Pidge was Matt’s sister, so the moment Shiro lays eyes on Pidge he almost passes out, she looks so much like Matt. Pidge doesn’t recognize Shiro, having only met him twice, before he had scars and muscles and a prosthetic (which he got from a nasty encounter with a certain shapeshifter), so he keeps quiet about her missing brother. 

The only other person who works at the Mystery Shack is Keith, taking on the role of Wendy. He has a rocky relationship with his father and brothers and spends most of his time working. He’s fairly chill, irked but amused by Lance’s cheerfulness and Pidge’s enthusiasm. 

Couple of other, minor things:

- Kaltenecker instead of Waddles

- Haggar instead of Bill (lets be honest, she’s the real villain of Voltron)

- Coran as McGucket; his mind was fried a long time ago, but he’s still an incredibly brilliant scientist and inventor, and anyone who sits down and talks to him realizes that he’s actually kind of a genius. 

- There wasn’t really a character that fit Allura super well, so we’ll say she replaces Lazy Susan and owns the diner. She flirts with Shiro every single time he comes in, and can kick ass when necessary. Her father was the former mayor.

- Shiro, unlike Grunkle Stan, isn’t scroogey about his money for greed reasons. He needs it to fund his underground research into what happened to Matt. Of course, he knows; Matt was sucked into a portal directly on top of the property where Shiro built the Mystery Shack. But he needs to figure out how to get him back. 

- Zarkon is a bit of a lesser evil; he’s the shapeshifter that Lance and Pidge find in the bunker under the Shack, and he’s obsessed with getting the journal back. 

- Among the things they run into: Arusians (replacing the gnomes, and slightly less hostile), Luxia, a mermaid stuck in the local pool, a bunch of Galra who attempt to teach Lance about manliness (Manotaurs; cue I’ll Make a Man Out of You sequence with Thace and Ulaz), Nyma, a video game that tries to kill Lance (Giffany), and Balmerans, who they find trapped in the underground sap whatnot after Kaltenecker gets stolen by a pterodactyl (cows belong outdoors, Lance). 

- Keith is a champion at climbing trees, skinning things, and all around being a badass. Lance is more than a little infatuated. 

- Voltron is created when all five of Matt’s journals are brought together, forming a spell that has the ability to defeat Haggar, who drove Matt insane during the camping trip. 

- Pidge constantly thinks the handwriting in the journals looks familiar, but she can’t quite place why.

- Matt started the journals when he and Shiro were 12, when they first started going camping in Altea with their parents, and continued them all up until he was 16, when Haggar started harassing him. He hid four of them around the town, paranoid that someone was going to find them, and entrusted the last one to Shiro before he was swallowed up by the portal. Each of them is marked by a different color on the “V” symbol; the one Shiro has is black, and the one Pidge finds is green. Lance later finds a blue one hidden behind the arcade.

- Sendak becomes Gideon, and he’s found the yellow one. When he’s defeated, Shiro takes that one for himself. 

- Pidge’s symbol remains the pine tree, seeing as she is a nature spirit. Lance, instead of being a shooting star, is a wave, Shiro a bolt of lightning, Keith a flame, and Hunk a mountain. Allura is a flower (shaped suspiciously like a juniberry) and Coran is a wrench. Matt, when he comes back, is the Voltron “V”

- If none of this convinces you: 

Look at this cute doodle by @artsyfalafel of Pidge in Dipper wear and Lance in a mermaid sweater

Mine (Jungkook x Reader)

Admin: Mimi

Prompt/Ask: Hello! Could I request a Jungkook smut where he gives you a very rough spanking becuase you obliviously made him jealous. Like it wasn’t on purpose, it was because you are way too innocent and didn’t realize you made him jealous. Please, if you are unconfortable, just let me know and I’ll change my request

-AND-

Hai!! Could you do a smut with jungkook where he gets jealous of the other members being around/comfortable with you XD make em super possessive during the nasty, love😩💕

Fandom: BTS

Genre: Smut

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Warnings: spanking, language?, sex (obviously lmao)

Word Count: 3809

Authors Note: Woahh, so this is the first smut I’ve written holy moly (ravioli ravioli give me the formuoli lmao) so I hope this was good enough! I kinda made it CEO!Jungkook, because I drew inspiration from the gif (I could stare at it for days oml halp), and I also combined two asks I got for Jungkook since they were similar. I hope I did my bias justice and wrote a good smut for him lol. Enjoy, as always, and feedback is appreciated! If there are any errors please let me know! Happy reading ^^

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Hopping out of the cabbie you breathed in London’s air. It had been a while since you last visited the city; let alone Baker Street. Surely Ms. Hudson would be surprised that you decided to visit her or be upset that you don’t see her enough. Work had taken you all over the world, but most recently the States. It was fun in New York, but you missed that dear old woman whom you grew to know as your aunt. You pushed the buzzer and waited anxiously. The door opened revealing an overly ecstatic Ms. Hudson.

“Oh Y/N love, I can’t believe you’re here! Come in, come in! I’ll put the kettle on, make you a cuppa.” 

“Thank you Aunt Louise, I’ll take it as you’re happy to see me?” You asked her laughing.

“Oh my dear love, always! I hadn’t got groceries yet. You know, I’ll do that now. Make you a nice breakfast. Up the stairs and to the left, you can see if there are any biscuits. Probably not, but worth a try.”

“No it is fine, don’t put yourself through the trouble. I had something to eat on the plane.” 

“Ohh I bet it was no good. I’ll be right back love.” Before you could intervene again, Ms. Hudson was out the door.  She was right, airplane food was never good. You thought biscuits would be great with tea, so you made your way up the stairs and into the dusty kitchen. “Never heard of a dusting rag I suppose.” You thought to yourself. You rummaged through the cabinets until you found what you were seeking.

“Here we go.” You pulled them out of the drawer and before you could place them down you heard someone walk in. “Well that was quick, I found the bis-.“ You stopped talking when you turned around. Two men were standing there stunned.

“Who exactly are you?” The smaller man asked.

“A guest visiting family. My Aunt Louise, I’m sure you know her as Ms. Hudson.”

“Ms. Hudson? She has family?” The man asked his friend who was staring intensively at you.

“Well yes.” You cut in. “She and my grandmother are friends. I grew up with Ms. Hudson as my Aunt.“ You answered looking at the two.

“How was the flight?” The taller man asked finally releasing his intense stare at you.

“It was fine, thanks for asking.” You replied proceeding to get a biscuit.

“New York was it? 6:30 flight non-stop?”

“Yup, that is right.”

“And your dog, I’m assuming you put him in a kennel while you’re away?”

She’s with some friends.” You said correcting him.

“Oh well common mistake.” He replied rolling his eyes.

“It would appear so.”

“Aren’t you at all surprised that he can do this?”

“Oh please John, no need.”

“No really Sherlock.”

“Do you guys always do this?” You asked laughing.

“Do what?” Sherlock cut in.

“Talk to each other like no one is listening?”

They both looked at one another for a second before back at you.

“To answer your question John; no I’m not. Anyone is readable if you pay attention.” You replied before grabbing your things and heading for the door.

“Then read me.” Sherlock answered. You took in a breath and turned around.

“Serious?” Instead of speaking he just raised an eyebrow. “Ok then.” You put your things down and got a quick all over glance at him.

“I see a man who is estranged from his family; someone who prefers be alone. You do visit them on holidays, like it or not. You have an older brother whom you like to compete with. You claim to not have friends, although many people consider you theirs. You may have been in love once, but it didn’t work out. Let’s not get too much into that seeing that you don’t care for it. You’re a detective, very good one at that. This could be the reason why you get on people’s nerves. Some might even say you’re a psychopath – no a high-functioning sociopath. I mean the way you guys were bickering downstairs before you came up here says so. That not cheating by the way, that’s listening. You also smoke cigarettes, which is a nasty habit might I add. Even though you don’t do it every day, it’s still bad for you… You see anyone is readable Sherlock. As long as you pay close attention, you could tell a lot about a person.” Both of the men stood there shocked with their mouths slightly open.

“I’m going to say that I was pretty accurate, yeah?” You said nodding your head.

“Y-you got that from John’s blogs didn’t you?”

“Ahhh, there it is!” You said throwing your head back.

“What?” Sherlock asked furrowing his eyebrows.

“There’s a blog; confirmation of yours and John’s relationship.”

“We’re not gay!” John said throwing his hands in the air.

“I didn’t say that. Just that there is a very strong relationship between the two of you; virtually indestructible. You guys are each other’s’ best friend, am I right?”

“You got that from me mentioning a blog? Sherlock look at you weird.

“Well you didn’t need to say that the blog was about the two of you for me to guess that. You kind of said it yourself.” You replied smiling. They were both standing there speechless when you grabbed your things once more. “It was nice meeting the two of you, really it was. Maybe we can go out for dinner, the five of us.”

“Five?…” John asked confused.

“Well you’re married and expecting aren’t you John?!” You yelled going down the stairs. When John turned to look at Sherlock, he saw him smiling.

“I like her; she actually makes very good use of her head.” Sherlock said keeping his eyes forward.

“Remember my middle name is Hamish.” John laughed quietly heading for his chair.

Edible Arrangements

(Hilly knows a couple things as a tadpole. He knows there’s probably a lax bro hitting on him, and that Bitty’s super-secret boyfriend may or may not be a middle-age lumberjack sugar daddy.)


Hilly knows a few things about Samwell’s hockey dynamics. He knows he is a tadpole; he initially expects to be hazed to the ground and forced to eat dog food or something like his roommate, who is currently rushing a frat. He expects the Haus to be dirty and filled to the brim with red cups and sticky floorboards. He also knows not to hang out with the lax team because Ransom and Holster said so, even though a cute boy who he thinks is from the lax team winked at him in his Intro to Anthropology class. He knows that NHL’s very own Jack Zimmermann, son of ‘Bad Bob’ Zimmermann and legendary hockey extraordinaire, is a Samwell alumni, and had slept in the very room which Chowder, their goalie, currently inhabits.  

But Hazeapalooza turns out to be nothing as bad as he expects (he even gets homemade pie out of it, even if Holster gives him the side-eye). And the Haus is cleaner than a sports frat house should be. The hockey team is nice (and surprisingly socially aware) and Hilly likes Samwell fair enough, but he misses home sometimes.

But Bitty makes things better. Hilly likes Bitty a lot. He likes hanging around the Haus and watching Bitty roll pastry dough with a practiced, methodical hand because it reminds him of how his mom used to bake cookies for him and his sister. Bitty doesn’t mind too much (he thinks) that Hilly may want to go on a date with a lax bro. Bitty bakes him peach cobbler with crumbles toasted a golden brown and talks about his family’s jam recipes. Bitty is open and warm and welcoming. However, the one thing Bitty doesn’t talk much about is his boyfriend.

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Heart Race [George Weasley x Reader]

A/N: I’ve literally posted this like six times because I can’t figure out how to italicize on mobile because the mobile version is trash lmao  I’m so mad rn ugggh. I tried that stupid code italicize but it didn’t work but it works when I test it out and ugghhh I hate this app

Word Count: 3,340

Warnings: mild language like twice. Not proof read. Possible ooc characters. 

Summary: (Name) met George in her third year after being pushed down. After another year, what will happen when George has to find a way to keep his feelings for her in check?

Masterlist



To say she was shy would be an understatement.

She had a quiet voice, but a loud mind. That loud mind of hers was full of brilliant facts and opinions, but the quiet voice that she had held everything back.

And to say that it bothered George would be an understatement as well.

No, George was almost offended that she refused to speak your mind. He couldn’t really understand why (Name) felt the need to hide all of her wonderful thoughts, but that didn’t mean he didn’t respect it.

George and his twin met (Name) when she came to Hogwarts at the age of eleven. At the time they were second years who in all honesty didn’t care much for her.

It’s not like they disliked her, they just didn’t know her well enough to care.

However, that all changed when they witnessed her being pushed down in her third year by some fourth year jerks.

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*casually dumps a shitton of dear evan hansen/be more chill crossover headcanons*

EDIT: Now with a part 2!

NOTE: All of these headcanons take place within the crossover universe but not all of them feature characters from both musicals.  Some just involve DEH characters and some just involve BMC characters.  I JUST WANTED TO HEADCANON STUFF ABOUT THEM OKAY (also this is a hella long post so under the readmore it goes)

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witch tips!

🚬 if you smoke,drawing sigils on ciggarettes might be effective. think about it,it’s drawn on paper,it burns alongside tobacco (charging),it enters your lungs (could also mean charging),you release the smoke into the air (casting).
❗PLEASE DON’T DO THIS IF YOU DON’T ALREADY SMOKE. don’t start smoking because of a tumblr post 🚭
🔥 drawing sigils on plastic lighters or carving them into metal ones could also be a thing,you’d have to charge it yourself but it could be practical
🐚 i like picking rocks i feel drawn to,blessing them,and placing them in my turtle’s tank,i’m guessing blessed or charged water would do too
👑 also. you could like gather all your jewels in place and assign each one an element according to your intuition,and charge them accordingly. like keep earth jewels buried in your plants’ pots or (ONLY FOR METAL ONES) place them in/above a fire,take a bath with the water-y jewels & some sigils for charging,although i have yet to find a method to charge them with air energy.
💍 as for the above,you can totally charge items in moonwater (i’ve a dark purple-ish charm that i keep in moonwater hidden in the dark,and i feel both The Moon’s energy and also some dark energy in it,but that may be because i used said charm for some fucked up shit)
🌹 rose petals man. i felt guilty when my ex came over with roses & all i could think of was “man im so gonna use these” (but he turned out to be an asshole so now i dont feel guilty about using them) so like if you got roses from someone,you can use the petals to make a glamour especially to draw said person to you,or to solve some relationship problems,and if you don’t want none of that & you’re looking for revenge or smth you’d just have to wait until the roses die and you could add the petals in your craft,i found them to be especially strong in break up spells
📷 if you’re looking for revenge or you want someone to suffer for whatever reason,you could take a picture of them and use it. i started using this method before i ever got into withcraft and it’s proved to be extremely effective. it doesn’t even have to be like an album photo,heck you can print their profile pic from social media and fucking burn it. just do it. but it would have to be someone you really hate,yknow,intent matters a lot. bonus points for: burning with sigils,stabbing the picture (EXTRA bonus points if you have a knife you’re fond of and use it for stabbing!), having your blood on the pic before burning it (it was an accident but it worked out way better than i thought), placing a few rusty metal things like screws in the fire,placing something of theirs,blasting fitting music.
🚪 as a continuation for what i said above,i found it extremely helpful to like,gather the ashes of the picture & sigils (add in the metal things or the personal item) and like…drop that shit near the person’s house. just do it. once i gathered the ashes and like mixed them with water and put it in a bottle,got to said person’s block,and like…just..poured that nasty mixture there. (the bitch broke her jaw that night,she says she was “yawning” lol bitch nah. just to give you a glimpse of what this can do)
☕ ok but like enough of the negative shit. you need charging too. try charging your coffee/tea/energy drinks for fucks sake they all work. charge with intent,sigils,even place herbs or condiments (cinnamon in coffee doesn’t tase bad at all!)
🍃 if a leaf falls right in front of you,take it. add it to your altar. do it everytime a leaf falls in front of you. you’ll end up with a big pile of leaves but they do have a purpose
🎤 MUSIC. your voice is extremely powerful. singing while doing a spell is like a legit way to add more power to it. singing while making a glamour does wonders. singing while performing cleansing/warding rituals - singing while cursing - even just singing with intent - they all work. (for reference - you can change the lyrics as you wish. i like singing the “flower gleam and glow” song from tangled to my flowers,i also adapt it to the elements i work with , for example “darkness hear my call/let your powers show” idk i like keeping rhymes but i don’t think it’s necessary)
✒ not to mention how useful it would be to like..write your own stuff. like a poem for a creature/spirit/presence you want to summon or for a deity you worship.
✅ speaking of writing. i like to write a “wishlist” with a pencil (instead of a pen or marker) on paper + add a “my wishes are granted” sigil on it,and burn it and throw the ashes in the wind. the sigil is charged,cast and you stated your wishes. you can determine if it’s going to work or not by paying attention to the paper when it burns. did it have trouble lighting up? did certain words come out of the fire unharmed? probably not gonna work. also pay attention to the ashes like idk how to explain,but some days the ashes just go…down when i throw them in the wind,and other days they fly-almost float-in the wind,in a beautiful way,they almost look like gray butterflies.
⛔ however,you have to be like super explicit whenever you’re making a wish,just like when you ask for something in a spell or from a deity. be clear. not to mention to charge with intent. for example i’ve made wishes that x and y would break up,only to find that the two of them have only been arguing,or that they broke up but made up right back.
🌃 find energy wherever you are.take advantage. if you’re on a street with many running cars,feel the energy,draw it to you. same goes for when you’re out at night and see lights. (my ex used to take me to a bridge where there were train tracks still in use,and the ground would shake when a train was passing there. i could feel the energy when a train was passing right next to us. i collected rocks and herbs from there,and i let a charm hidden there overnight to charge)
🍺 do.not.mix.alcohol.and.withcraft. DO.NOT. like yes you can do whatever you wish to with YOUR craft,and some spells or rituals require adding alcohol,but please for the love of all that is holy please don’t attempt to do anything witchy while you’re drunk.

that’s all i have for now,most of these are pretty basic but i’m sure some of you will find this helpful. take care ✨

harrisonchevy  asked:

Hi! I was wondering how you feel about non-AZA accredited zoos. The Pittsburgh Zoo lost their accreditation a few years ago (because of an issue with one of their programs I think) but I still think it's an excellent zoo. Do zoos have to be AZA accredited to be good zoos?

Congratulations, you have pinpointed one of the largest cans of worms in the animal care industry! The response I’m about to give you is absolutely, definitely controversial - because honestly, there’s no one answer that everyone will agree with. 

I do not believe that lack of AZA accreditation should automatically condemn a zoo. (They will probably be very unhappy with me for stating this, since they’ve been advocating since at least the 1970′s for the government to recognize them as the only accrediting authority and shut down every facility they don’t accredit). As far as animal care, education, and conservation work goes AZA accreditation is the best reliable indicator of quality for public - but there’s a lot of reasons a zoo might choose not to be accredited in the first place, or might lose accreditation, or might choose not to be re-accredited. So no, not all “good zoos” must be AZA - but the public needs to be much more critical consumers in order to determine which non-AZA facilities are good zoos. 

One of the biggest reasons a zoo may not be AZA accredited is functional. AZA accreditation is designed to support and accredit primarily large urban zoos with a lot of funding. It really isn’t a good fit for smaller suburban or rural zoos: those that do decide to go for AZA accreditation spend years and a huge amount of money trying to meet AZA’s standards, and even after all that work not every non-urban zoo decides to stay accredited because the priorities of AZA doesn’t necessarily line up with what the organization needs to do to survive or what the community that supports it wants to see at their local zoo. This could be, for instance, that the type of education and conservation messaging AZA wants to see from its facilities isn’t appropriate for a rural setting or that the internal structure of the organization that AZA requires just isn’t functional at a smaller zoo. Mill Mountain Zoo, in Roanoke, Virginia, recently mutually split from AZA because it just wasn’t a good fit - but their animal care programs are still the same, and AZA thinks highly enough of them that they’re still allowed to participate in highly prestigious SSPs such as snow leopards, pallas cats, and red wolves. 

Another reason a zoo may not be accredited is because of differences in agreements over animal care requirements. Lack of accreditation due to these types of issues can’t really be qualified as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ reasons because each case is so individual. Sometimes facilities choose not apply for AZA accreditation in the first place because of a known conflict with their requirements. To pick a controversial example - and this is only a hypothetical - a facility like Myrtle Beach Safari would probably choose not to apply for AZA accreditation because their facility breeds color morph tigers, which AZA standards prohibit. The facility’s entire philosophy around tiger breeding and exhibition would have to shift drastically in order for them to make the changes AZA would require. Other times, facilities choose to leave AZA and/or purposefully lose their accreditation because of a disagreement over new rules. That’s what happened with Pittsburgh. Management at Pittsburgh didn’t agree with the requirement that all AZA zoos transfer over to working their elephants in protected contact, and eventually chose to lose the zoo’s AZA accreditation - and all the grants and federal exemptions that go along with it - in order to continue working with their elephants in the manner they believed was best for their specific animals. 

It’s also worth noting that some facilities may choose not to be part of AZA because of political reasons. AZA is notoriously condemnatory to any facility they don’t accredit. I’ve heard a lot of AZA staffers and surrogates, including directors or upper management at AZA facilities, say really nasty things about rural or smaller zoos with incredible frequency. They call them “roadside zoos” and though there’s no actual definition of the term, the official AZA usage appears to denote “anyone AZA doesn’t accredit.” (I wrote more about that here, if you’re interested in that specific political rabbit hole.) AZA as an organization itself appears to have partnered with HSUS in the fight to shut down all “roadside zoos” - including an officially sanctioned panel addressing it at the 2016 national conference - and the CEO of HSUS has been indicating in his messaging that AZA is now helping them police the rest of the zoo industry. This treatment doesn’t necessarily get better when a zoo starts working towards accreditation - I know someone whose facility was referred to as a “roadside zoo” literally as they were being congratulated for having been accredited. The official AZA messaging is that it has a cordial and professional relationship with other accrediting bodies like the ZAA - but they consistently publish documents that denigrate ZAA’s credibility as a professional organization and urge lawyers and lawmakers to not only ignore their input but even help regulate them out of existence. With that sort of blatant political enmity, it’s understandable that zoos external to AZA might be utterly uninterested in working to join the group that constantly publicly attacks their existence and professionalism and instead go it alone or join a different accrediting group. 

I would also hazard a guess that more organizations may choose not to associate with AZA given their apparent inclination to partner closely with animal rights organizations like HSUS. Smaller zoos get harassed endlessly by the animal rights organizations, regardless of their actual quality, and would absolutely have no interest in working to gain membership in a trade group that appears to be in bed with their long-time antagonists. 

Tl;dr: Accreditation and who has what why is really complicated. It’s not as simple as the “good vs bad” messaging AZA has been promoting. It’s very tied into industry politics, animal care philosophies, and the practical realities of running zoos. As discussed above, there are all sorts of reasons a zoo might choose to not get or to forfeit AZA accreditation. Some are reasonable, some are not, and it ends up being something consumers have to study in depth for each non-AZA facility they’re interested in to figure out if they want to support it.  

2

Your ask does remind my long time thought, Anon.
So here is some of my own thoughts on the Fellcest relationship, and somehow extend to why I portrayed the Fell brothers into such certain way. (it would be kinda long though since I thought really really long about that boi)


One of the things that influence their relationship is their nature.
As you probably know, the creator of Underfell doesn’t set up a “canon” personality/interests on all Underfell characters, it is basically just an outfit AU. So all of those personalities for the Fell brothers you can see in the fandom are all designed by the fans themselves. So as one of the fans, I have make own assumption on them as well.

What is Underfell about? “Everyone in underground who are supposed to be good turn into evil.”, and that is it, just like a good/evil position swap thing. So following this whole setting, for me, ONLY the “good/evil position” is switched in this AU.

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yorulun  asked:

Prompt 2 for Damian and Jason where Damian got a couple of cracked or broken ribs but decided to keep quiet about it because he think Tim or Dick need to be attended to first but Jason realized it somehow and confronted him about it but Damian just shrugged it off saying that he is used to it. Dami's time in the League reminded me way too much of child abuse and Jason understand that. So he agreed to keep quiet about it and take care of Damian himself. Just general bat bro hurt and comfort.

Anonymous asked: For the angst prompts please? “It’s okay. I’m used to it.” Damian and anybody? I can’t decide..

Thanks for the prompts! I decided to combine them since they were pretty much the same. Also, this somehow got really long.


There’s a knock at the door.

Jason turns over under the blankets grumpily and peers at the clock. 3:14 in the fucking morning. He’s not awake enough to answer the—

There’s a knock at the door.

Jason bolts upright, grabbing the gun underneath his pillow, because as far as he knows, nobody knows where he lives. He’d just moved in last week, and there’s no way that anybody could have gotten a hold of this address. By all rights and purposes, it should still be empty.

It makes him wary, and as he passes the living room couch, he grabs his other gun to shove into his pants waistband. Just for extra protection. Just in case.

The knock comes again, and it’s more insistent this time. “Todd!” the Demon Brat’s voice sounds from the other side. “Todd, I know you’re in there. Open up!”

God dammit.

Jason rolls his eyes, drops his gun on the kitchen counter and makes his way over to the door. Somehow, they’ve found him again. It hadn’t even been a full week, and Damian’s found him.

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For such a sweet @whump-dump

Modern, College AU

Fresher’s flu is a thing. It’s an actual thing. It’s not a myth to scare upcoming students out of college; it’s a real, live illness that smashed into Lance like a giant ocean wave that’s been building over him for days.

One day he was fine, the next he’s laid up in his tiny dorm bed, shivering through a fever that’s leeching warmth from his body and hacking up a lung every few seconds. He’s convinced that one of these times, he’s actually going to cough up one of these damn organs necessary for survival.

There’s a faint, chilling feeling lingering around his room; it feels almost as if the Grim Reaper is creeping in a shadowed corner and waiting for Lance to breathe out his last, dying breath.

At least, that’s what Lance told Shiro, but his very reasonable boyfriend assured him that his nasty fever was playing mind tricks, and then he left to get medicine, leaving Lance alone in the grips of his darting thoughts.

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[Miraculous Ladybug]: A Full Commitment’s What I’m Thinking Of

idk man, i haven’t written the lovesquare in a while, and for some reason i wanted come crack-ish MiracuClass antics, so sue me

Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]

Title: A Full Commitment’s What I’m Thinking Of

Summary: Sometimes, when you’re friends are so obviously in love and they’re taking forever to get with the program, it’s time to take matters into your own hands. 

In which Alya takes matchmaking to a whole new level, Nino tries to be the voice of reason, the entire class is incapable of keeping a secret, and Marinette and Adrien just try to have a decent picnic


A Full Commitment’s What I’m Thinking Of


“A class picnic?”

Alya nodded as she scribbled a time and a location on the back of Marinette’s hand. “Yup. I figured it’d be fun. School year’s ending, the weather is beautiful, and exams are just about wrapped up. Thought it’d be a cool casual thing.”

“You didn’t tell me you were planning this,” Marinette said. “I could’ve helped you!”

“Oh, don’t even worried about it, girlie,” Alya assured. “You’ve been so busy with class rep stuff lately I just went and asked Nino for help. Worked out just fine, too. He’s been helping me handle music and food.”

Marinette smiled. “This is so sweet! I can’t believe you did all this for everyone. Is everyone else coming?”

“Oh yeah,” Alya insisted. “Everyone in class. Even Adrien.”

Alya expected some blushing and stammering, but Marinette merely blinked at her. “Adrien’s going to be there?”

“Of course! He was super excited when he found out you were coming.”

Marinette lifted both of her brows in surprise. “He was?”

Alya patted Marinette on the shoulder. “I would never lie to you. So yeah, you should definitely come. After school today, don’t forget.”

“Ok cool!” Marinette nodded. “Do you wanna walk over together with Nino and — ”

NO!” Alya shouted, hands darting out to grab Marinette’s shoulders. Marinette jumped in shock and leaned away from Alya’s frantic looking expression. Alya bit her lip and sighed out through her nose. “I-I mean….nah, i-it’s fine. I have to help Nino with….something after school anyway. Uh….I’ll meet you there a little afterwards.”

“Um…okay,” Marinette said. “You sure you and Nino don’t need any — ”

“Nope! No help!” Alya insisted, spinning Marinette around and marching her over to the locker room. “You just get your books together and meet us at the park. It’ll be a blast.”

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Paper Cut (Percival x Reader)

A/N: Hi!! Wow I haven’t written a Percival one for so long but I mean I only written one before so yeah haha anyways, I hope it’s alright. I got excited writing this because I love Graves and it’s just nice to write something a bit different haha😊 Enjoy!!

Request: if you’re still asking for requests, could you write a percival graves one where you get hurt and hide it from him but he finds out and gets angry but then it’s just really fluffy?? i’m a sucker for fluff and i need more graves x reader stuff. please and thank you ! 😊❤️


You entered the building, wincing slightly at the wound at your side, ignoring the pain as you headed up to your office, needing to do some paper work for the case you just solved involving wizards using the dark arts. You had gotten into a fight with those dark wizards and one of them managed to get you on your side.

Sighing, you sat down at your seat, pressing against your injured side to see how bad it was, jerking your hand away as you felt the pain shoot through even though you weren’t pressing that hard. You took in a deep breath before sorting and filling up anything necessary for the paper work.

When you were done, you grabbed the folder and headed straight to your superior’s office. Knocking on the door, you waited for him to ask you to enter before walking in.

“Good morning, Mr. Graves, I’ve finished the paper work for the case I worked on yesterday,” you greeted, looking at the man sitting behind a desk, signing some papers. He looked up at you passed him the file.

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Touch

Leonard McCoy x Reader

1,666 words

Beta: @trekken81

Triggers: None, but if you find something that should be tagged let me know

Soulmate AU: You thought you were one of the few people born without a soulmate until Jim’s meddling and the touch of a Doctor prove you wrong.

Originally posted by ensignspace


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kaisoo on 141126 (analysis)

can we please talk about what happened on 141126?? ive seen people discuss multiple moments but never this and its irking me 😤😤 now ur probably gonna go “its an old moment who tf cares??” well i DO care, especially since people don’t seem to notice that JINGO TOUCHED KUNGSEW’S DINDONG :))))

disclaimer: u don’t have to believe what i say…this is all my opinion and they all tend to sound ‘delusional’ so if u don’t agree w me, good for u! if u agree, also good for u 6 stars out of 4!!! this is gonna be full of gifs which are mine (feel free to use it) but the video creds are x x x

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