now-ya-know

This is super random and not related to anything but; why do the heroes in movies stay on the phone while the villain threatens them??

It seems really obvious that the moment the villain goes into threatening mode, you should just like… hang up… Now ya don’t know what the villain was trying to get you to do, so any threat is inconsequential. The villain has to find a new way to get the information to you. You got more time to figure out how to defeat them. Win-win.

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William Shakespeare- the Bard of Avon, Legendary Wordsmith, was, in all probability, super queer. We’re going to look at the evidence, read some lovely poems, read some raunchy poems, and generally just talk Shakespeare.

Closed Captioning Available 

Transcript below

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Hamilton Characters as Texts I've Gotten
  • Hamilton: Hey are you awake? Why aren't you awake? It's 4:17am wake up
  • Burr: My life is just one social faux pas after another.
  • Laurens: Ew no hetero tho
  • Lafayette: You're so over dramatic and french
  • Mulligan: I made my own clothes for 5 years
  • Washington: As your father, it's my job to tell you you're acting like a total piece of shit right now.
  • Eliza: Ya know we're all trying. Sometimes there's heartbreak, sometimes people eat your food, sometimes death is inevitable, but I'd slaughter your enemies if you asked me to.
  • Angelica: Not to psychoanalyze you but you're salty and hide behind your intellect
  • Peggy: I am so confused
  • Philip: That was some prodigy level poetry. I understand nothing
  • Jefferson: Hair perks
  • Madison: wow @immune system it's time to function
  • Seabury: *sends the Union Jack emoji on The Fourth of July*
  • King George III: I'm so sorry I'm terrible, please love me

herroyalslayness  asked:

Have you ever drawn the three caballeros? I know you've drawn some of the looney tunes but i just remembered that Donald canonly hangs out with two awesome hispanics and they all sing together and i was like !!!!! Does polararts know???? They gotta know!!! So if you don't know, now ya know.

Yeah I know them, but haven’t drawn them, so here ya gooo~!

It’s a really good feeling when you’re able to start coming to terms with yourself. Who you are, who you’re attracted to, how you feel. It’s comforting to know you’re not alone. I like knowing that I have people I can talk to about it if I need to, and that I have people who will listen and love me entirely as I am. 

Maybe the day will come when I feel comfortable being completely out, but for now, I am happy with the labels I have for myself. I am happy with recognizing that I am demiromantic and graysexual. 

Number 1 Fan

Request: Can you do one where the reader is the number one crime boss/villain and Jerome admires her so much that he follows them around until he gets caught. Maybe they become partners, he gets jealous and stuff, and it has a pretty happy ending.

Smut warning

———–

(Y/n) POV:

“Move it into the van boys! Don’t leave a dime!” I laugh as my henchmen load the bags of money. “Ohh this is gonna make me the richest woman on the planet!” I say joyfully spinning around.

“Hey boss! We got company! We got to hurry up!” I turn my attention to the banks to see them being scoped up and down by the GCPD. “I’ve got this boys. Just get the bags in there and don’t leave me like last time. If that’s done then you’ll all be dead! Understand?” “Yes ma'am!” They yell in attention.

I smile and stroll into the bank making my presence know to the cops. “Hello hello hello! How ya doing boys? Good I hope! Harvey! How’s the drinking problem? John! The kids doing good? Mollys rash ever clear up? That thing was nasty! Ah and Jimbo! How’s the air in your big fat head? Still clean I hope!” I giggle walking along the counter tops making fun.

I walk to the indoor flag pole and look up to see the open sky light. “Enough of your chit chat!” “Aww! But I was getting to the good part! Ya see. My self esteem has been kinda low lately. So I was wondering if I could show you guys a magic trick. You know the saying what goes up must always come down? Well how about what is down must go up? Any takers? No? Well fine I guess I’ll test it!” I kick the latch of the pole ties and it flings me up into the air to where I’m flying out of the sky light. “See ya around dumbass’!” I laugh as I exit through the roof.

I hop onto the top of the van and hit it twice. “Go you idiots!” They drive at 90 mph to my place and as soon as we get there they start unloading the bags into the room matching the others.

“Drink m’lady?” My butler asks as I enter the door. I smile at him and take the blue drink. “Thank you David. Any news for today?” I ask as I go to the living room. “Crime rates are as high as ever thanks to you miss. Fan basis is at it’s highest. Little girls are wanting to buy anything related to you!” I smile and look out the big window to Gotham. “Wonderful! Get Samantha for me will you?” “Yes miss.”

In seconds my maid comes running in. “Yes miss?” “Care to run me a bath? Crystals, and lavender soap as always.” I say sipping my drink. “Yes of course m’lady.” She bows to me and scurried off to the bathroom.

“Your bath is drawn m’lady.” I wave my hand away and make my way up to the large scale bathroom. The tub itself can fit 4. I strip myself of my clothes and sink into the relaxing water filled with soap and moisturizers.

My personal line begins to ring bringing my attention away from my thoughts. “Hello?” I ask into the old fashioned telephone. “Darling! It’s so good to hear your voice!” “Mom. Hey how are you?” I ask with a smile on my face. “Oh just find. Yourself?” “Just fine.” My mother scoffs into the phone. “What?” “Just fine? Come on darling! No drama? Men? Nothing?” “Mom. We’ve discussed this. I’m far to busy with business.” “Oh don’t play that game! A beautiful 17 year old woman like you is a the top of the world right now! You can have some fun!” “Business is fun.” “But doing business alone isn’t. Don’t you want to share that with someone?”

I sigh into the phone and sink further into the water. “Fine. Yes it’d be nice to have someone along, but I’ve tried the whole partner thing. It didn’t work! He was to slow! Couldn’t keep up. I need someone exciting! Someone to make me laugh, but still keep success rates at high!”

My mother laughs into the phone. “You sound so much like your father. Do me a favor darling. Put on a sexy dress, go to a club, and meet a man. Plenty will show if they hear the most feared woman in Gotham is coming. They’ll be trying to impress you left and right! Promise me you’ll give it a shot?” I sigh and smile. “Yes mother.” “Good baby! Call me tomorrow love! Goodnight!” “Goodnight mom.”

I hang up the phone and ring the bell for Samantha to enter. “Yes m’lady?” “Lay out a dress along with pumps, call a driver, and make sure the owner of Flaims knows I’m coming to have a fun night.” “Fantastic choice! I’ll be right on it!”

I step out of the tub and wrap a towel around myself drying my body. I walk into my room to see my favorite dress set out. “Oh Samantha how you read me well.” I drop the towel and get into my makeup and hair. A nice clean sexy eye with a simple puff to my lush (h/c) hair ties it all together.

I walk down to the door and David opens it for me. “Shall I stay awake to let you in?” “You know what? No. Have the rest of the night off! You too Samantha! I’ll see you both here tomorrow morning!” “Of course! Shall I make breakfast for two?” David says with a smirk. “We shall see.” I say skipping out and into the car.

I arrive at the club to see the best types of people there. The crazy ones. I step out of the car and immediately get howled at. “Hey baby! Wanna test me out? I can make a good girl into a bad bitch!” I roll my eyes and continue my way inside.

I see many cute men scattered about but non that immediately catch my eye. I’m not going to work for them. They’re going to come to me. That’s what mom always taught me.


I order my favorite drink and scroll through my phone enjoying the night out. “Well well well. Lookie here! Never thought I’d see you in the flesh.” I removed my eyes from my screen to see a well known criminal. “Do my eyes deceive me or is it Jerome Valeska?”

The red head leans up against the booth with a stretched out smile. “So you’ve heard of me?” “Well a new rising villain appears and we all want to know more. Have to keep tabs on you. Been out of the limelight for a while now.” “Well ya know. Been dead for about a year. No big deal.” I laugh and scoot for him to join me.

He can make me laugh

We talk for hours, laugh for hours, he had me smiling for hours.

“I’ve got to say. I’m a big fan. My favorite crime scene is when you hung your victim from the center of the hotel. Burnt fingerprints and face! DNA unrecognizable! Never figured out who the victim was.” I place my hand over my head. “Aww Jerome! That’s so sweet! No one’s ever kept up with a case like that before! Well except for those cops. Care to know who it was?” He leans in dazzled. “A bartender who got my drink wrong.” I shrug. “Fantastic! It’s all just fun and games anyway! If they don’t play by the rules they shouldn’t have been in the game to begin with!” “Exactly!”

I laugh and look at the time. “Past your bedtime princess?” I smirk at him and lean into him feeling the full effects of the alcohol take over. “No. Usually it’s time for someone to help me wake up. If you understand what I mean.” I smirk and toy with his fingers.

“Ohh any choices yet? Will I have to fight my way through them to get my shot?” I move my fingers to his shirt and pop one of the buttons open. “I think you have a pretty good shot already.” I smirk and stand up walking and swishing my hips for his pleasure. “Then what are we waiting for hm?” He growls in my ear biting it lightly.

Jerome opens my door for me and lets me in. My driver says no words but does raise the black window for some privacy.

I bring my lips to his in a rush for lust and passion. “Oh you’re bad.” He breathes and run his hand down my body to between my legs. “Make me worse.” I moan into his lips.

Jerome pushes my panties to the side and pushes one finger inside my pussy swerling my insides to make my body rock. “Someone’s wet babydoll. Care to tell me who that’s for?” Jerome asks adding another finger and pushing them in and out. “You’ve got to earn me screaming your name. Do that and you can do whatever you want.” I moan as he pumps his fingers faster.

I toss my head back moaning out. Jerome then attaches his lips to my neck sucking a visible mark. “Marking what’s mine.” I laugh and straddle him. “You’ve got to take it first.” I say out of breath.

The car stops and the driver lowers the black window. “We have arrived m’lady.” Jerome smiles and opens the door for me grabbing my ass as I get out. “Hm about time.” He says gripping my body in lust.

We quickly open the door and waste no time rushing to the bedroom. Jerome closes the door with me against it and strips me of my dress. “Oh a true beauty below the soft cloth you are!” He moans. I strip him of his shirt and pants and he attacks my lips the moment we’re both rid of clothing.

He lifts me against the door and rubs the tip of his cock up and down my slit coating himself with my juices.

He pushes in making my head hit the door in pleasure. “You’re so tight doll.” Jerome thrusts up into me causing me so much pleasure. He moved us to the bed and flips me over to my stomach.

He pushes himself back into my tight cunt and pounds me harder. “What’s my name doll? Scream it! Who’s filling your tight pussy?” Jerome grips my hair in a ponytail and pulls it back making my mouth open and loud moans to come out. “Jerome! Oh my god!” I scream and cum without warning. “That’s it baby!” He says and fills me up. He pulls out of me and rubs his hands up my back to my shoulders.

Jerome sets me on the bed and covers me up along with himself beside me. He brings me to his chest and kisses my head. “I have a proposal.” I say looking at him. “Hm I know I’m great but we just met doll face.” “Oh hush you big dumby! What I mean is be my partner in crime!” “King and Queen of Gotham.” He smirks at the thought rolling through his mind. “Seal the deal with a kiss.” I say with bright eyes. “Gladly baby.” He kisses me and kisses down my neck to make another mark. “Mine. My queen.”

Originally posted by sensualkisses

Ya know, I wouldn’t be so PISSED and have EXPECTATIONS if Lucasfilm wouldn’t have PURPOSEFULLY LED ME TO BELIEVE that Finn was force sensitive and would be a Jedi. Banked on it even to get my Black ass in the theater. Why’d he wield the lightsaber huh? How was he able to be so skilled with it if he’s not a force user?! Your villain is kind of a punk if a non force using stormtrooper can injure him in a light saber duel! HOW CAN HE HEAR SCREAMS FROM SPACE LIKE OBI WAN YOU COWARDS?!

So just fuck all the SW lore, world building, mythology and blow holes all up and through your plot to execute your shitty “bait and switch”?! That’s how we’re doing it now?!

Ok. But ya know a better idea would be to PLAN YOUR FUCKING TRILOGY AND LET DIRECTORS WORK TOGETHER but that’s too simple and makes too much damn sense I guess and the tried and true course of action of fucking over Black fans and your Black male lead was just toooo tempting!

If Finn isn’t confirmed force sensitive by the end of this damn trilogy Lucasfilm and their whole “plot” is a joke!

Headcanons okay?

MCCREE:
• Honestly? He’s as hammered as you are. Maybe even more so.
• Super smug when you start to cling on to him (but also super giddy on the inside because he thinks it’s cute).
• You two spend almost all night hanging off each other, singing and laughing at bad jokes.
• “hey, HEY, McCree…Mc-Jess. my man, my…. Listen, bro, HEY! You’re sooo beautiful, you know that? God, I gotta…. I got a crUSH on yooouu!”
• He starts crying, he’s so happy
• You start crying, because he’s crying
• And, everything gets caught on tape.

GABRIEL REYES:
• Okay, so this man has the highest alcohol tolerence of anyone you’ve ever known, or will ever know.
• He always ends up being the moderator for every get together that involves adult beverages
• He’s the only one who, for sure, won’t get drunk.
• “Okay, I think you’ve had enough, [y/n].”
• “I think, I think YOU’VE had enough mr. hoTBOD.”
• “Aaaand, I’m taking your drink.”
• He pretends that you saying he has a hot body doesn’t get to him.
• It gets to him.
• You wrap your arms around his torso.
• “Gabe, gabe, GAbe! Gabo… Gabe….Gab-a-reeno!”
• “What.”
• “psst gabe. I think….. I know whose gotta crush on yooouuuu!……… it’s meeeee.”
• He’s absolutely red all over and everyone knows it’s not because of the alcohol.

JACK MORRISON:
• Is super careful about drinking and has probably only had a sip of beer.
• Watches you from afar as you have a hardcore rock-paper-scissor battle with McCree.
• You both keep putting out rock.
• “Mind if I play?” He asked McCree after seeing this go on for a few minutes.
• “be my guest… mr. sir, they’re a…….veeerrry powerful….”
• Jesse then toddles away to bother Gabriel.
• “Aaaaahhh, so the big guy shows for….a chALANGE!”
• He laughs.
• On shoot, he purposely puts out scissors all three times, naming you the victor.
• “I AM UNSTOPPABLE!”
• You try to climb the table in victory, but he holds you back.
• You wiggle a bit in his arms then stop when you realize how warm he is.
• “Hugs from Jack! Ooooo hugs….warm…good, Yay! I loove ya hugs! Now- you know…… Hey, jaCK give me a kiss.” You sing
• “Absolutely not.”
• He’s blushing up a storm.
• “pleeeaassseeee?? I’ve always wanted one!”
• You start singing a song about kisses and Jack, while he tries his hardest not to give you one.

HANZO:
• You’ve been bothering him all night
• It’s not like he can just leave you; it would be irresponsible.
• So, he half listens to you blab on about some movie with a pig in it.
• “And then she dies. Her babies…they just fly…..but he teaches baby sal……salutations.”
• You start to become a blubbering mess.
• “charlotte, CHARLOTTE…..he loVED YOOUUUU. III LOOVVEEDD YYOOUUUUU!!!”
• You’re full on weeping at this point.
• Hanzo doesn’t know what to do, so he’s awkwardly patting your back.
• You end up crying into his chest.
• He’s freaking out and it’s showing a little.
• “H-hanzooo, don’t die an-and let your babies fly awaaaaayyyy!”
• “O-okay….”
• He’s trying to think of a way to make you stop crying as fast as he can.
• He grabs his cup of water and hands it to you.
• “Here….. You need to stay hydrated…”
• You slow your bawling and accept his offering, still cradled in his chest.
• You gulp it down through your sniffles.
• “Hanzo. Don’t….you better- haaanzzooo. Please don’t die! Then I can’t tell you….say that…. I think your super cute…..”
• “Thank you?”
• He went to bed that night equal parts confused and flustered

—-

Was that what you wanted? I hope I got it right!

anonymous asked:

Can you do 53 and 33 for Montgomery de la Cruz?

Hell yeah I can! Also bless your soul for requesting something and giving me something to do ily 💕

33. The door’s locked.

53. Take your shirt off.

The door’s locked,” Montgomery relays apprehensively, his head turning to glance at the girl standing behind him. 

“The fuck you mean it’s locked,” she hisses, pushing past him to see for herself. Sure enough the handle jingles tightly in her hand but does not completely twist. The music is too loud for anyone to hear them pounding on the door. She had come upstairs to take a breather from the party, not to get locked in Jessica Davis’s bedroom with Montgomery De La Cruz. 

“You gonna talk to me now? Ya know, since we’re kind of stuck in here together. Or are you gonna continue to avoid me?” he asks, leaning against the door with his arms crossed over his chest. 

“I’m not avoiding you,” her eyes drop from his face to the floor, voice wavering. Lying has never been her strong suit.

They had been partnered together for a project in biology, and much to her surprise they got along great. She was cold towards him at first, since her prior interactions with him had been him checking her out in the hallway and her rolling her eyes whenever she caught him, or when she would stumble across him getting aggressive with someone who did or didn’t deserve it. 

She didn’t want to like him. He’s a dick of the douchiest variety. But not always, not all the time. After many late nights of doing research he got comfortable around her and relaxed. He would crack stupid jokes and make lame puns that made her laugh in-spite of herself. He would randomly ask her questions like “what do you think about multiverse theory?” and “What’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?” He would let her nap on the couch if she got tired while he continued to search for articles and would wake her up when he came across something that he found particularly exciting. He could be endearing when he wanted to be.

They got close. Closer than she could have anticipated. One night the previous week they were making final edits on the project, laughing about this and that. She can’t remember what he said, but she playfully shoved his chest in response and he nudged her shoulder back and she kicked at his leg and then they were rolling around on the floor when he quietly mumbled, “come here,” and she teasingly responded with, “I don’t think I can really get much closer,” to which he whispered, “I think you can.” And then he kissed her.

She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t wondered what it would be like to kiss the infamous Montgomery De La Cruz. He was a prick, but a gorgeous one at that. All of the eye rolls and shit talking in the world couldn’t change the fact that given the opportunity, most of the girls at Liberty High would sell their soul to kiss the devil himself.

It was sweet. He had pulled her flush against his chest and let his hands play at her sides while she climbed onto his lap, resting her one hand at the side of his neck and letting the other run down his arm. It wasn’t what she would have expected. But he wasn’t what she expected either. 

That was all it was. Just one kiss. Nothing more. He didn’t push it further and neither did she. When she pulled away he had this soft smile on his lips and a serene look in his eyes that she had never seen before. He looked so calm, so at peace. And it made her heart melt. 

But he was still Monty, and she knew what everyone in the school thought of him, and what they would think of her if this progressed into anything more than a one time kiss. It was hypocritical, to desire someone but damn anyone who actually got something. Nonetheless, she pulled away. Avoiding him since then. She didn’t want to be the type to care what other people thought, but they could be so damn cruel, and she had kept such a pristine image so far. 

“Seriously?” Monty snaps, pulling her out of her thoughts, “I’m literally the only other person in here and you’re still pretending like I don’t exist.”

“I’m very much aware of your existence,” she quips, sitting on the edge of Jessica’s bed. She notices a variety of colored sharpies on the nightstand.

“You’re just choosing to ignore it,” he rolls his eyes.

“I’m talking to you right now, aren’t I?” she raises an eyebrow, feigning casualty. 

He snorts, running a hand through his hair. “I’m all you’ve got right now, so it doesn’t count for much.”

“Didn’t think you’d care all that much,” she shrugs, leaning over to grab the colorful assortment of sharpies.

“I kissed you and then you started avoiding me like the plague. How could I not care?!” his voice raises in exasperation.

“Because you’re you,” her tone is serious as she looks him straight in the eye.

“Yeah, yeah my reputation sucks. I’m awful,” he glowers.

“Only sometimes. You can be sweet when you want to be,” she offers.

“Not sweet enough for it to matter apparently.”

Take your shirt off.”

“What?” he asks, taken aback. This conversation has taken an abrupt turn.

“I’m gonna draw on you,” she shakes the sharpies in her hand, “Gotta pass the time somehow.”

He’s somewhat startled and confused by the request, but his shirt still comes off as he makes his way over to the bed. He lies on his back as she straddles his lap, dragging the tip of a green sharpie down his side. She draws twisting vines with sharp thorns that could tear your skin if you got too close. But she also draws blooming roses that smell so sweet you can’t help but drift closer. It’s dangerous and beautiful, terrifying and inviting. It’s a lot like Monty.

“You’re sending out some mixed signals you know,” he looks up at her as she shades in a petal. One minute she’s ducking around corners to bypass his gaze and the next she’s straddling his half naked body.

“I’m sorry,” she mutters, her lip stuck between her teeth in concentration, “I like you, but your reputation is hard to swallow.”

He nods in understanding, watching her use him as a canvas. “Can I draw on you?”

“Sure,” her eyes widen a bit in surprise. “Where?”

“Your back,” he explains as she rolls off him and he sits up, switching places.

She turns away from him, sliding her shirt off and unhooking her bra before laying chest down on the bed. He picks up a sharpie and she feels the cool ink on her skin. A shiver runs down her spine at the sensation. It’s a large design that takes up a majority of the two sides of her back. It feels like he’s drawing wings. 

“Angel wings?” she asks, twisting her head at an attempt to get a look at him.

“Good guess,” he grins, nodding in affirmation. 

“Why?” she laughs, “Cause I’m so etherial?”

“Something like that,” he laughs, his one hand gripping her side tightly to keep her still. She likes the feeling of his skin on hers.

“Can you keep a secret? she asks, biting her lip as she waits for a response.

“What kind of secret?” he asks, sitting back so his weight isn’t holding her down as much.

She rolls over so she’s facing him, reaching up to place one hand at the back of his neck. Her lips press against his in the most inviting way, making his eyes shut instinctively as he leans into it.

“Yeah,” he breathes out heavily, moving to hover over her as his arms wrap around her back to press their bare chests together tightly. “I can keep a secret.”


*Sorry that turned out to be way longer than a drabble, I got a little carried away*

Want a drabble?

1D Hiatus: Day 550

* Louis’ album is rumoured to be released before Christmas this year

* More tickets for Harry’s 2018 tour go on sale

* ‘Get Low’ is the title of Liam’s collaboration with Zedd

* Liam posts pictures and videos on his Instagram story from the set of the music video shoot for ‘Get Low’ 

* A video of Liam reading filthy tweets out loud is released by BBC Radio 1

* Harry posts a picture of a handwritten note for us on Instagram

* Harry and Louis (seperately) meet fans in London

* Liam posts two pictures on Instagram

* “:60 with Niall Horan” interview is released on VEVO

* Niall posts two videos on his Instagram story

* Niall is coming to Australia on June 19th to perform on The Today Show and Sunrise

* Acoustic version of ‘Strip That Down’ will be released tomorrow, Liam posts a short preview of it on Instagram

* Niall posts a selfie on Snapchat

It’s Jun 15th, 2017.


On this day a year ago: #185