I've started sorta moving on from losing her, which somehow makes me feel worse. Like it means I somehow love her less, or like my not feeling sad means she's really gone. I don't know why I tell you these things, I just need an outlet I guess.
That’s totally okay, I feel the same. You can still be as much of a fan - or perhaps, even more so - now. She’d appreciate it. Don’t feel worse, this is just life. And life’s not sad for those who go, it’s sad for the people who remain.