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Egotober, Day 06 - Sepsis

Egotober list by @ego-surveillance-squad

Didn’t really know how to go about this day so I decided to break out some good ole gross gore. Poor Anti isn’t really feeling well…

anonymous asked:

Can you do one where Lance is super smart and he gets fed up with the team acting like he's stupid, so be basically snaps at them?? I love your stories!! They're awesome!

Thanks so much! I hope you like it! 

“Thank you for agreeing to meet with us Princess Allura,” Kolivan bowed to her. She gave him a small smile and a nod. They were gathered around the dining hall table with the Paladins and Alteans on one side and the Blade of Marmora on the other. Kolivan pulled up a stolen layout of a Galran base and placed it on the table.

“There is valuable information, regarding the locations of important members of the Blade and our allied rebel forces stored in this base’s hard-drive, it is imperative that we get our hands on it and away from the Empire,” Kolivan started. “We need to find a way in without being spotted, and complete the mission without alerting the Galra. We were able to infiltrate successfully some time ago, and have access to some of the surveillance feeds and schematics,”

Immediately the room was filled with the sound of ideas being thrown around; Lance quietly listened to the different scenarios coming from his teammates and stored them in the back of his mind quickly picking out the flaws and how he could secretly tweak them when they were out in the field. He realized that the others would reluctant to listen to his ideas because of how he had already presented himself to the group. So he decided to quietly help them in the background instead. He pulled up the information on his screen and scrolled through the information available. Without a word he began highlighting points on his map that would require extra surveillance once they entered the base. Unbeknownst to him; Kolivan was watching over his shoulder with interest and nodding along to each dot. After Lance stopped and absentmindedly nodded his head, Kolivan put his hand on his shoulder. Lance yelped and he shot around to look at the leader of the Blade.

“Apologizes Blue Paladin, I would like to hear your ideas for this infiltration,” he admitted giving Lance all his attention. Lance gave a tentative smile and opened his mouth, only to be interrupted by Hunk and Pidge’s laughter. His head turned to the two and he shrunk into himself a bit knowing that the two were laughing at him. Kolivan only looked with a raised brow.

“Sorry Kolivan, but you don’t want to ask Lance for ideas,” Pidge giggled. The two of them cracked up into laugher, eventually dragging the rest of them minus Lance, Kolivan, and Coran who were looking at them incredulously.

“I apologize, but perhaps I’m misunderstanding. Please explain why I should not consider the Blue Paladin’s suggestions,” Kolivan said stepping forward. The laughter stopped aside from a few sniggers and they looked toward him.

“Kolivan. Its Lance, Mr. Razzle Dazzle, get all the girls and glory,” Pidge said with finality. “His plans probably involve a lot of shooting and not getting anything done,”

“Yah, he has fighting power but when it comes to infiltration…” Hunk continued with a shrug. Lance could feel the blush traveling up his face, and his shoulders bunched up further as if to protect him.

“All his brain can store, are cheesy pickup up lines and weak insults,” Keith commented. The others burst out laughing again; Allura and Shiro only giving weak smiles. Kolivan looked down at the blue paladin and while he seemed shocked and saddened; he could see anger stirring in his eyes as well.

“Hey! I have more in my brain than that, I have good ideas!” He cried trying to defend himself.

“Really, a thousand times ten?” Keith asked with a smirk. Lance’s eyebrows drew down with an angry grimace.

“I was trying to break the tension,” he growled. His hands were clutching the armrests of his chair tightly, his knuckles turning white from the pressure. Shiro stood up from his chair and carefully approached the angered teen.

“Its okay Lance,” he said soothingly. “We all have our weaknesses, this is just yours,” he gave him a soft smile. Lance looked at him in pure disbelief; this man was the leader of their group and he was going to let Lance believe that he couldn’t contribute to the planning of this mission.

“My weakness?!” Lance growled. “You know what?! I’m done!” He yelled jumping out of his seat and pulling his screen along with him to the front of the room. The others looked at him with quirked eyebrows.

“What? Going to shows us the pretty dots on your map?” Keith taunted with a smirk.

“No, each of these dots is a mistake that you over looked,” he hissed. He pointed to the first one and pulled up the surveillance from the base’s server room. “This is a PXY-6075 system, you were going to go in blind with a code not appropriate for this system, it would shut down the entire thing and we would lose everything,” he swiped across his screen and sent a code to Pidge’s system. She pulled it up out of curiosity and her jaw dropped before she looked up at Lance.

“Lance, this is genius,” she muttered. He ignored her and went to the next beacon. A security camera showed a hallway were Shiro suggested they infiltrate on the way to the server room. He turned to the leader with crossed arms.

“This hallway is filled with blind spots and vents, how could you even think that this was a good place to enter?” Lance asked with a quirked brow. Shiro only crossed his arms in defense.

“It is the fastest way to the server room, we need to get in and out quickly,” he replied. Lance gave him a short glare.

“So because it is the fastest way to the server room, it is automatically the safest, you’re putting the safety of your teammate on the line in order to complete the mission faster?” he asked getting closer to Shiro who tried to avoid his eye. “What would have happened if we went down here and there were drones or weapons in the vents, we could have died in there,” he pulled the map back and brought up a different hallway. Shiro looked at it and back at Lance for an explanation.

“It’s a maintenance hallway, the other direction from where this one is, it is fully surveillanced with no blind spots and no places for anything to be hidden,” he said pushing the screen into Shiro’s who looked at it sheepishly. He zoomed out letting the outside of the base show. He turned to Allura who jumped at being in the teen’s sights.

“The defense of the base is different from the cruisers we come across Allura; if we had gone on the mission and used what we usually did we would have gotten caught and the entire mission would be compromised,” he stated bluntly. He brought up the schematics of the base and pointed along the foundation “This area is susceptible to fire, if I send out an electrical pulse along the base, it should collapse the barrier without any alerts to the Galra,” she carefully nodded it response watching the tiny barrier breaking down on her screen. Lance looked around at the ashamed paladin avoiding his gaze around him.

“Need I go on?” He asked quietly. He humphed when he only received sheepish nods. He turned to Shiro and pushed a finger into his chest.

“Next time when you say something about someone’s “weakness”, don’t. None of us are weak and you out of all of us should be the one to see that,” he said pushing him back. He turned to Keith.

“You shouldn’t be so insulting,” he said standing beside his chair. “I know that I haven’t shown you what I’m capable of but you don’t have to be so condescending,”

“You shouldn’t be so quick to judge,” he stated turning to focus on Pidge. “I try to come off as the carefree goofball because let’s face it, we’re fighting in a war and we’re a bunch of kids who probably shouldn’t be out here,” he turned to look at Hunk as well at this point. “You should know that I’m smarter than I act, you have known me the longest,”

“Lance,” Hunk tried but Lance only raised his hand between the two of them.

“Please let me finish,” he pleaded. “I wasn’t at the Garrison as a charity case or anything, and everyone here ignored that. I tried to do the best I could to keep the peace and keep the image of comic relief because it seemed to help you perform better,” he looked down at the ground trying to avoid the gazes of his teammates. His hands were shaking by his sides, the only visible sign of his anger through the entire rant until he started to feel a tremble in his lip and tears gathering in his eyes.

“Lance…” he heard Shiro hesitant voice call. His head shot up causing a tear to roll down his cheek as his eyebrows furrowed in anger.

“No! I don’t want to hear it!” he shouted shocking the other into silence. “You have been pulling this shit for too long, and you didn’t think anything of it! Well, it hurts! It hurts and no one cared enough about me to stop it!”

“Lance, we’re sorry,” Pidge said reaching out for the teen trying to put her hand on his arm. He slapped it away and started making his way to the door to leave. Before he left he put his hand on the doorway and looked back at Allura.

“Call me for the mission, I need to cool down for a bit,” he said quietly. Angry tears still streaked down his face, be he felt and looked resigned now. He turned and left, leaving the bridge in thick silence. It was broken by Kolivan making his way to the entrance to follow Lance to wherever he decided to hole up. Just like Lance, he looked at the others before he left.

“Perhaps next time, you should get to know your soldiers before you judge what they are capable of,”

Part 2

Stress and A Bath - Harry Styles Imagine

Originally posted by ohstylesno

Words: 1,955

Pairing: Harry Styles & (Y/N) (Y/L/N)

Warnings: Some smut at the end, but nothing too extreme.

Requested: Yes

Requests are OPEN

She heard it, before she saw it. She was cooking in the kitchen, Harry coming in through the door. Instead of the typical start of of conversation, about something that happened in the studio, or a quick, ‘hello, darling.’, there was nothing. She heard him drop his things, like usual, but it was not just a steady drop, it was a thump, and a kick adding towards it. She heard it, before she saw it.

Several seconds, she saw his image come in, bags under his eyes, he was constantly brushing his hair back with his fingers, and squinting his eyes. She took note right away, her husband was stressed. (Y/N) turned the gas stove off, putting a lid upon the stew she made for that rainy day, wiping her hands on her pants, and instantly moving towards her husband.

She leaned against the counter next to him, while he placed his hands on it, leaning towards the black counter, just taking a breather. His wife thought of something to say, not to cause anger, or the cold-shoulder.

“What happened?” She instantly said, starting to rub his back, gently, he moved his shoulder, lightly, in order to brush her off, she moved her hand away, then.

“Nothing.” He grumbled towards her, starting to walk to the staircase. She rolled her eyes at his behaviour, taking off her apron, and placing it on that counter, following him.

“Harry, talk to me.” She said, sternly, eyeing his back, while he started to climb the birch stairs.

“I told you it’s nothing, (Y/N)” That came out harsh, she took a breather, and kept following him, faster now. She turned to the left, knowing he was heading to the bedroom.

Only inches away from him, he brushed the door close, on her face. That was it, she was now angry as well. Opening it to him, taking his clothes off, slowly.

“Harry, I don’t know what happened, but please talk to me.” She said, walking up to him, his back facing her.

She gently placed her hands on his shoulders, watching his skin twitch, him releasing a breath that he never knew he held. (Y/N) moved her hands down his bare back, gently rubbing, and massaging it. Placing her thumb into the skin, kneading it. Arms slid across his stomach over time, placing her body against his back, breathing him in.

“Just a bit stressed, love.” He simply said, she kissed his back a few times, he loosened his shoulders that he held tense.

“How about a bath, I run one for you, with some of those candles we got from our wedding, a few months back. I can come in, if you want or, just let you be.” She said, turning him, pushing his long hair back. His frown turned into a smile, not a full one, but a one that it takes awhile to find. It was hidden.

He looked down at his feet, her hands were still around his waist, he took his hands and placed them on her cheek, slightly moving one thumb.

“That’ll be nice.” He said, she smiled, walking past her half naked husband.

The missus leant down by the sink, opening the cabinets of their bathroom, and taking the candles out. The lavender ones were her favourite, taking it and placing it on the windowsill, the bath in front of it. She placed them there, opening the blinds to view the London street, the streetlamps were on, the rain coming down the window, and the night sky was a faded, but humble blue, from their townhouse window.

She lit them with the lighter, she had stored, and turned the bath on, keeping it to a warm level. The water began to come out, she tested it with her finger, and nodded, plugging the bath. She walked back to the room seeing Harry sitting on their bed, only in his boxers, and just stared at the window to his right, watching the water hit the window.

“Come on now, darling.” She said, walking up to him, taking his hand and leading him to the bathroom.

They stood facing each other, she pulled off her top, leaving her in her bra. The noise of the tap behind them as it poured out the water into the white basin. He looked at her, trying his best to keep eye contact with the eyes that he fell in love with. He watched as she pulled her leggings down, leaving both of them in their undergarments. (Y/N) picked up his hands and placed them behind her, letting him unhook her bra, he did it, watching her breasts come out of the cups. He smiled to himself, the stress slowly, but surely, beginning to go. She knew what she did to him. Her fingertips came in contact with his waistband of his boxers, she placed them down, behind them, her wedding ring grazing his soft skin on his hip. Eventually she pulled them down, and she did the same with hers.

She placed her glasses on the counter, taking her hair up into a bun, and getting into the tub, that was now full. Her back came in contact with the tub, as she put her hand up for her husband to grab on, he sat back to her. She placed her husband’s hair into a bun, loving that he grew it out, and gently massaging his back, kissing his shoulder blades. Harry began leaning back, placing his head on her shoulder, the water coming to his midline. He could feel her breasts against his back, the soft tissue, as she moved her hands to his stomach, gently playing with his tattoos, tracing them with her fingertips, letting him just relax.

“Tell me, tell me what happened.” She simply stated, rubbing his stomach lightly, giving him a small tickle.

“Just the boys, you know them. They love to fool around, talk. It just adds up, and I tell them that I have a wife now, that I can’t stay at the studio till the A.M., I’m expected home by six. But, they just ignore me, and talk about girls and all. I just want to get the work done, we are behind for the next album, because we use the studio time to do this.” He said, releasing his thoughts to her, she simply nodded, kissing his forehead, as he closed his eyes, letting her touch him.

“That’s not fair on you, hun.” She said, taking her arms and placing them, draping them, over his shoulders. He nodded, humming.

“I just want to get the album done, so I can spend more time with you. You’re not just my girlfriend anymore, you’re my wife, you expect more, and I want to give you that.” He said, still laying like that. She just nodded, listening to him speak.

They stayed like that for awhile, her listening to him ramble on about whatever was on his mind, she just listened. The silence arose an hour in, she kissed his temple, him slowly getting up, turning his body to face her.

“Hi.” He said, smiling, she could not help but smile, “Hi.” She said back, looking at his eyes.

He came closer towards her, bringing her in for a kiss, letting him move his mouth around hers, feeling the love coming from her, as he did to her. He pulled away, “I’m going to get out, come with me.” He told her, starting to stand up from the bath, helping her out, drying themselves.

He began doing his nightly routine, as well as her, both naked. She went down to the sink, placing back the candles, and took out the oils she had from their honeymoon, standing up. She walked back into the master seeing Harry standing there, looking at the mirror.

“Babe, come here.” She said, beginning to walk to him. He instantly turned around, seeing she had the oils, a smile came upon his features.

“I love those oils, they bring some memories back.” He said, giving her a smirk, as she pointed to the bed. He sat, naked, while her naked figure sat behind them, her back almost hitting the headboard of the bed. She took the jojoba oil and placed it on his back, gently placing her weight on her knees as she leant into him, placing a kiss behind his ear. He groaned a bit. (Y/N) massaged her strength in his back, taking away some of the knots that lied there. Kissing him every so often, it was when she turned to the bedside table to grab the shea butter, where she was pulled away from it, her back hitting the mattress.

He towered over her, kissing her neck gently, at first, and then began sucking her neck, moving to her jawline. She moaned his name, her hands coming behind him, hitting his lower back, as he placed a hand on her breast, and the other went to her hip, balancing himself out. He eventually placed his lips on hers, making himself the dominate one. She allowed, after all, she caused it, and he had a hard day.

He took over her mouth, fighting for dominance when she opened her mouth, but like always he won, exploring her mouth as his erection grew.

“No teasing, I just want love.” She said to him, as he reached over her to his side of the bed, towards his side table to grab a condom from inside the drawer, ripping it with his mouth as he straddle her, she just watched, trying not to stare at his boner. He slid it on, and went back kissing her.

“Ready, love.” He said, taking his lips off of hers once again, looking in her eyes. She nodded, relaxing her body, allowing him to take over. She felt him slid in, after the six years they have been together, and the few months of marriage, she is still not use to him. Taking a breather from his size, and nodding when to go.

They moved in sync, it was not a fuck, this was pure love making, the pace was slow, but fast, trying to feel everything of the other. She placed her hands on his bare butt, squeezing it once in awhile. He placed his hands above her, their eyes were both close, but sometimes open, kisses were shared, but they just felt it all. But of them groaning and moaning, saying each other’s name, every so often.

He picked up the speed, her noticing the same feeling in her stomach, as she tightened her grip.

“I’m about to come, H.” She said, almost whispering, but it was pure of sweetness, he nodded, her picking up upon the sweat on his forehead.

“Me too.” He grunted, putting his hands on her hips, as she placed one on his hip, and they other on his cheek, gently moaning his name.

Both of them came to their highs, him falling on top of her, placing his head on her breasts, as she rubbed the back of his neck, he was still inside her, but she just loved the feeling of him being so close.

“Thank you.” He mumbled, kissing the side of her breast. She nodded, kissing his head multiple times.

He pulled out taking the condom off of his dick, and throwing it in the trashcan next to the bed, pulling himself into her.

“I love you, I love you so fucking much. I hope you know that.” He told her, bringing himself closer to her.

“I love you too, gorgeous.” She simply said, turning the lamp off next to her, and falling asleep, holding Harry.

Thank you for requesting @anonymous!


Lots of love,

-Ava. Xx

I think people are forgetting how well Silver played everyone in 405 

Even though we knew he would never betray Flint we were actually convinced that he was going to. Why? Because Silver can act. Better than we ever thought he could. Yet Hands, Billy, the crew AND the audience are still underestimating him in this situation now

Silver told Billy to kill Flint in 405

Now he’s telling 6 men to go kill him in 408 

Events are being repeated like they have been throughout this season yet people are STILL believing what is being fed to them

And look.. we know there is going to be some sort of twist. It’s what will make it, as Luke said, his ‘favourite written episode’. We’ve always been right about how important Flint and Silver are to each other. Don’t let this fool you. Don’t be like Billy and fall into the trap of thinking it was that easy to turn them against each other. He has underestimated their relationship again. Just like he underestimated it before. 


Nothin’ like some low-quality panoramas to show off how much more organised the walls in your room are after spending way too much time getting old pictures and blu-tac off ‘em. 👌👌✨

That’s How a Moment Lasts Forever - Post-BatB Oneshot



“Why do you keep so many tea sets?”

The old man chuckled, leaning back in his armchair as he watched his littlest grandchild.  While her two older siblings had chosen to play outside in the snow, she stared at his bookcase, which, instead of being filled with books, was lined with teapots and teacups made of wood, porcelain, and china.

“Well, you know your father’s a potter; he gives me the ones that no one wants.”

“But do you even use them?” the girl asked.  “They’ve got chips and cracks in them.  They wouldn’t make good tea.”

“You are definitely your mother’s daughter,” the old man replied.  “I suppose…I keep them because they deserve a home, a place to belong.”

The girl raised her eyebrows.  “You make it sound like they’re alive.”

“Well…” The old man’s voice took on a spooky tone.  “Sometimes they talk to me at night.”

The girl laughed. “No they don’t!”

“No, they don’t,” he agreed, laughing in return.  “But can’t an old man have his hobbies?  I like antiques!  I’m a collector, always have been!  You see that?” He pointed at a tiny, intricately decorated box on the mantel above the fireplace.  “It plays a lullaby if you open it. The king’s grandfather made that for me when I was a boy.”

“Really?” The tea sets were momentarily forgotten as the little girl ran over to the mantel and seized the box in her hands.  

“Careful!” The man raised a gnarled hand, but there was no need; the girl set the box down with the utmost care.  She lifted open the box, revealing a tiny, incredibly detailed replica of a rose.  The rest of the inside was gold and cornflower blue, with a castle painted on the inside of the lid.  She located the winding handle on the side, and with a nod from her grandfather, wound it up and let it play.

At once, a little melody, strong but sweet, began to emit from the box, causing the rose to rotate slowly in place.  The girl sat, entranced by the box, while the man closed his eyes and hummed along.

“You won’t find a box like that anywhere else,” he finally said.  “That’s why it’s special.”

The girl waited until the last notes faded away, then looked up at her grandfather to ask him a question.  But what she saw startled her into concern rather than curiosity.

“You’re crying, Grandfather!”  She rushed forward, drawing out her handkerchief to wipe his tears away.  The song was beautiful, yes, but it wasn’t a song that should be cried over!

“Ah, well…” He smiled and let her wipe away his tears.  “You are very kind.  My mother used to sing that song for me.”  He didn’t need to say the rest.  

“Oh,” the girl whispered.  “I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t know,” the old man reassured her, smiling.  “Besides, I let that old box play every day, and you don’t see me crying all the time, do you?”

“No,” the girl answered, grinning.  “You’re very cheerful.”

“Well that’s good,” he exclaimed.  “I’m glad I didn’t grow up to be an old grump like my father did.”

They sat in silence for a few more minutes; she admiring the music box, and he gazing at the tea sets in the bookcase that he kept so well polished that the imperfections shone in the light.

“Do you want to know the real reasons behind the tea sets?” he asked suddenly, waking the girl from her short-lived reverie.  “Why I look after them like I do?  You have to promise not to laugh or walk away.”

The little one shrugged, but sidled up to her grandfather’s armchair.  “Okay.  Tell me.”

“Do you promise not to laugh?”

“I promise.” Her eyes gazed up at him, wide and trusting.

“It’s because I used to be one myself.”

The girl sat there, eyes wide, lips parted slightly in surprise.  She wanted to ask if it was a joke, but the old man looked completely serious.  And she was just at that age where she was learning to take care of herself, but still young enough to believe in fairy stories, if they were spun the right way.


The old man’s lips curled into a real, genuine smile, one that only children would understand.  “Magic.”

“What happened?” the girl’s voice was barely a whisper.

“Well…sit back a little, and I’ll tell you,” the man replied.  “I was your age when this story took place.  It started with a spoiled prince, an old enchantress, and a young farm girl who saved us all…”

“You used to work at the castle?” the girl said after he had finished his tale.

“Well, it was mostly my mother; she was the head housekeeper.  I followed in the steps of my father, became a potter, and when I had your father, I taught him as well.  Hopefully your older siblings will carry on the family business for me.”

“I bet they will.”  The girl slumped in her chair.  But soon she straightened up again.  “Was the queen really an inventor?”

“Best in the world,” he replied.  “She’s the reason why you have a fountain behind your house for laundry.”

“Is the Enchantress still alive?”

“I have no idea. Probably.”

“Were the musicians really world-famous?”

“Of course they were.  Why would they lie?”

“Maybe to gain favor with the prince.”

“No, they’ve been in the paper before.  I have clippings, if you’re really that skeptical.”

“Wow…” For a moment she was lost in her own daydreams of what it would be like living with famous people.  But then another thought stole her mind away.  “Could Plumette really fly? Like a bird?”

“Even after the curse she could float for a while, if she wanted to.”

“And Lumiere?”

“What do you want me to say about him?  The man was an eccentric old codger right up until the day he…”  The man paused for a moment, lost in the past.  “Until he died.”

The girl pondered the word in silence, while the other sat in his armchair, thinking of times and thoughts that his granddaughter would never understand, no matter how much she listened, or how much she learned.  She would never learn to appreciate time as he had, especially now, after all these years.  And he was the last one, the one given the most time to contemplate what had happened.  Everyone else had already passed on.  

Sometimes, they would come to him in his dreams, as young as he remembered them that day: newly human and full of happiness.  Lumiere would ask him how old age was treating him, Chapeau would clap him on the back and comment on his family, his mother would wrap her arms around him and tell him how proud she was of him.  How proud they all were of him.

But Cogsworth always told him the time, how time was running out.  Tick-tock, there’s not much time left.  And though he always asked what Cogsworth meant, the old majordomo never explained himself, only kept repeating the same thing over and over again.  Even now, Cogsworth was still as incessant as a real clock.

And yet…though he had time well-spent…it never seemed like enough.  Well, not until now, as his youngest grandchild sat next to him, visions of magic and curses dancing in her head, the very age he was when the curse was cast.  Filled with the wonder of a story that would die with him.

“I have a special task for you, little one,” he murmured, and the girl’s eyes lit up.

“What is it?” she asked.  “Whatever it is, I’ll do it.”

“Don’t forget the story I’ve told you today.  Not a single word of it.  Write it down somewhere, make it a book.  And tell your grandchildren.  And have them tell theirs.”

“All right,” the child said.  “Is it that important?”

“I don’t want anyone to forget them,” he continued.  “They taught me a lesson; I am sure they will teach others too.  You’ve probably been told that nothing lasts forever, haven’t you?”

“That’s right,” she said.  “Mother told me that.”

“Well…this story only happened in a moment, out of all the time in the world.  And when I die, the days I’ve lived will disappear.  But now that I’ve told you, you can tell other people, and those people can tell other people, and the story will last longer than any of us.”

He wasn’t much of a storyteller at this age, but he could do this much for his family.  He didn’t live his whole life just to die without people really knowing what happened all those years ago.  It wasn’t just some curse; lessons were learned, and love was restored to the castle.  

“Okay.  I promise I’ll do it.  And my children will do it too.”  

Chip smiled and closed his eyes.  He could picture them now, in the castle, carrying out their duties, royalty and service alike.  Some would call them ordinary, but to him they were the most important people in the world.  They didn’t deserve to be fleeting.  They deserved to live on.  Through story, through song, through legend.

That’s how a moment lasts forever…when our song lives on.

I’m so sick of terfs rubbing their grubby little fingers all over historical trans men and insisting that clearly they’re just LEBSIANS it’s SO obvious and if you say otherwise then YOU’RE the bad person here and WHY do you hate WOMEN so much

History is full of trans men but we’ve lost so many of them to GIRL POWER and the Sweet Polly Oliver narrative and terfs not being willing to admit that if he looks like a trans guy, acts like a trans guy, talks like a trans guy, and tells you to call him a man until the day he dies, then guess what honeybunches HE’S A TRANS GUY

And it’s funny how “well you can’t say for SURE what someone would have identified as before the words we use existed!!!!” suddenly goes out the window when they want to say a trans man is a lesbian

We’re not trying to take anyone’s history we’re just trying to find our own

Oh my goodness I was just eating breakfast and suddenly




Hunk: “Sir, please remain calm. And yes I would like to have a donut. We will bring Mr. Fluffles back, I promise.”

Lance: *undercover in a bar*“Sorry ladies, but this cop is on duty~ Maybe next time?” *wink wink and mustache falling off*

Shiro: “Ma'am, you are under arrest for…shoplifting 39 mugs? I don’t get paid enough for this.”

Keith: *speeding down in a car chase and using a megaphone* “THERE’S A SIREN ON MY CAR AND THAT MEANS YOU. LISTEN. TO. ME!”

Pidge: *hacking into security feed* “Ha, these firewalls are too easy, now turn left. LEFT. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ME KEITH I SAID LEFT!”

Allura: “911, what is your emergency? Mr. President? I understand. Coran, get the smoothie squad. It’s Jamba time.”

Coran: *flips on the interrogation lamp and slams the table* “I’ll ask you one more time young man. WHERE. IS. MR. FLUFFLES?”


Mr. Fluffles is the President’s cat. I swear the mugs play a huge part in this.

Driving Lessons

Plot: Harry is convinced he has to teach Y/N how to drive.

Warnings: None

Request: Yes. 

Hope you enjoy this story! The gif isn’t mine as I would certainly not be here if I’d ever been given he chance to sit that close to Harry.

This really wasn’t going even half as well as he’d promised me it would and slowly my faith in him and especially in his so called teaching skills began to subside. Harry was much braver than me and time had taught him how when he set his mind to something there was most likely a success to be found. I on the other hand knew what failure was and after having discovered my lack of skill when it came to driving and everything else even remotely car related I’d quickly given up all together. However Harry wouldn’t have it.

“Driving is not a big deal,” he’d groaned after learning of my fear, “And I’ll prove that tomorrow just so you know. You’re ridiculous.”

“Over are the days when you preached nothing but how wonderful you find me, huh?” I’d let my head roll back and turned to my boyfriend with a pout, “Guess the romance really does die before you know it.”

To this he’d laughed and I’d shrieked when his hands were grasping my ankles and pulling me onto his lap, where he’d then continued to tackle and kiss me noisily until I’d been convinced of how very present his love for me still was.

Secretly I had hoped he’d let the subject go, I really did. But Harry had a very persistent side to him. So that’s how I’d ended up here in the driver seat of his car with his watchful eyes set on every move I made.
My shaking hands had never before been this sweaty and I was red with embarrassment at how they even left a palm print on the steering wheel whenever I moved to brush the key. This was awful and for what had to be the tenth time I wondered why I always let him do this kind of stuff to me. A shaky breath left my lips and I glanced at Harry with uncertain eyes only to be met by his wide and confident smile.

“I don’t think I can do this, Harry.”

My voice was much thinner than expected, making his smile widen and his eyes warming with sympathy. He leaned in and his lips caught my cheek in a soft peck.

“You do look a little stressed out, love.” Harry chuckled against my skin before gently brushing his hand against my leg.

“What if I crash your car?” I asked, aware of how much he loved the blue vehicle he’d even jokingly named ‘Bradley’, “Or run over a cat? Harry, what if-”

“You’re not chickening out of this now,” Harry spoke whilst rolling his eyes, “I learned how to drive the moment I turned 18 and passed with ease and in one try only.”

I turned to him with arched brows. “Have I ever mentioned that I just love how humble you are?”

“Shut up,” Harry chuckled and squeezed my knee before withdrawing his touch and gesturing towards the wheel. “C'mon. The key’s there to be turned.”

My fingers still shook and I reluctantly touched the small object. It felt wrong and thinking of it now perhaps my feet didn’t reach the pedals well enough either… I turned to Harry once more. “But what when-”

“Y/N, I’m right next to you,” Harry huffed impatiently, “Should anything happen I’m here to step in, alright?”

With serious eyes he nodded towards the keys and I bit my lip, doubts clouding my head as I slowly turned it. Harry laughed when I jumped at the sound of the car coming to life and reached out to rub my shoulder in effort to ease the tension.

“Okay,” Harry hummed lowly, still incredibly calm considering he was sitting next to an emotional wreck, “Now you slowly release the clutch while giving it a little gas. Gently, Y/N. But don’t be shy, just-”

“I’m supposed to be gentle and not shy at the same time? How is that supposed to work, I-”

“It’s fine, c'mon,” Harry reassured me, “Yes, good! Just like that.”

Harry smiled as I slowly followed his instructions and I shrieked in happy surprise as the car moved. Oh god.


My hands held on to the wheel so tightly the whites of my knuckles became visible and I felt so hot I was certain my forehead was dripping with sweat.

“You’re driving!” Harry exclaimed, “Good girl I knew you could do it! Now turn left over there.”

“Why do you sound so surprised and turn left where?” I panicked and Harry’s hand acted quick in grabbing mine and forcing it to stay on the wheel before I could pull away.

“We’re on an empty parking space, love, turn left wherever you want so we’re going in a circle, yeah? At your own time.”

Harry’s ability to stay calm astounded me and he even managed to genuinely smile at me. My panicked state didn’t anger him at all. My teeth sunk into my lower lip as I did what he’d asked and my eyes widened when the car obeyed my commands.

“Oh my god it’s working!” I cried out, eyes finding Harry’s happy expression. I couldn’t remember a time when my heart had hammered in my chest like this before.

“You’re doing great, baby!” he encouraged and I blushed at the pride in his tone, “Eyes on the road, though, love. Know how much you like my face but right now-”

“Please wait to be a narcissist until I’m no longer in the position of potentially killing us both, okay? Does that work for you?”

Harry laughed. “Alright, sorry.”

We continued to drive in a circle and my mood increasingly got better the longer I got to enjoy my success, until Harry decided that he wanted to teach me how to park.
Now this did not work out at all and frankly it annoyed me how he didn’t let me enjoy myself a little longer. I insisted that the space he’d chosen was too narrow for his far too large vehicle and got frustrated the longer he refused to let me give up.
I could tell Harry really tried to remain patient with me and I loved him for it but even though we were on an empty parking space I could see how much closer we were coming to the wall of one of the buildings surrounding us. What if I couldn’t reach the break in time? Or if the wheel didn’t turn properly and we’d crash? Parking was the one thing many drivers struggled with anyway wasn’t it? Why the hell did he need me to humiliate myself, now?

With a forceful push I stepped down onto the break bringing the car to an abrupt halt that jolted Harry and myself forward.

“Fucking hell, what now?” he cried out.

“I wanted to check if the break worked,” I apologized, my breathing harsh, “Sorry.”

“Warn me next time, love. Bradley isn’t the youngest anymore, please remember that.”

“Right,” I murmured, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, love,” Harry assured, his hand finding mine to squeeze my palm, “You’re being a baby chicken but it’s endearing and I love you regardless so-”

“Oh stop it,” I rolled my eyes, “I love you as well but if you don’t shut up I’ll make Bradley kiss that wall over there.”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

Hope you liked it! Personally I can’t drive so I hope what H is saying in this one shot makes somewhat sense. Thank you to @deuxghosts for the help! x

Rest of my stories:


Hiccup’s hands on your waist are the only things keeping you focused right now. Your foot is comfortable in the adjustable stirrup, and your hands comfortable in the handle, but the fact of completely controlling a dragon and that if you make one mistake you could both die…its daunting.

It’s like your boyfriend feels your tension. “Relax, you’re doing great! Now try a left turn. Go around that rock.”

Swallowing nervously, you move your right foot gently to the left. Feeling the shift in movement, Toothless makes a perfect left turn around the huge rock rising out of the ocean indicated. You laugh to yourself at the ease you and the dragon work together with. You’re glad Toothless has come to like you nearly as much as Hiccup since the two of you got together.

Hiccup leans over your shoulder to look at your face and chuckles at your smile. “Alright, you’re getting the hang of it! Now let’s go up. Above the clouds.”

You grin and tilt your toes down, effectively relaxing the end of the tail so Toothless can easily climb up above the golden clouds. This is your favorite part about flying: Seeing the whole world laid out below you. The ocean sparkles in the sunlight far below, and the tops of the sun bleached rocks poke above the surface like teeth.

Once above the clouds, you level out your foot and fall into a gentle glide, smiling at how Toothless’s wings just skim the tops of the clouds, effectively whipping up a sort of white smoke. You laugh out loud at how powerful this dragon is, and how easy he is to fly.

Hiccup laughs along with you, and his hands leave your waist. When you turn around he’s holding out his arms in bliss as he feels the wind around him. You wish you could do the same, but as this is your first time flying Toothless, you’re still a little wary of letting go of the handle.

Once you clear the cloud, Hiccup’s hands return to your waist, this time wrapping around it firmly. “Alright, want to try a dive?”

You tense up at the question. “Hiccup, I’m not even good at diving on my own dragon.”

“Ah, come on, you’ll be fine!” he exclaims, not an ounce of doubt in his voice. “I have all the faith in the world. Just keep your foot level until you reach the surface, and Toothless will do the rest of the work.”

Nodding tensely, you readjust your grip. “Okay, I got this. I got this.” You push your heel down so Toothless moves his head down, and then he folds in his wings and you’re diving.

At this speed, it’s a little hard to keep your foot level, but you do it and you’re smiling at how fast the world is moving around you. You love (d/n) but she never moves like this. The water is still hundreds of feet below when you hear Hiccup whoop in exhilaration. You laugh.

You wait to pull up until the last possible second, Toothless’s feet brushing the surface of the water and whipping up the salty sea breeze around you. You throw your hands above your head and whoop loudly, the adrenaline coursing through your veins making you feel ecstatic. Hiccup laughs and leans forward, kissing your cheek.

“That was awesome!”

You lean forward, placing a hand on Toothless’s head. “He’s awesome. It’s so different riding him when I’m the one flying.”

“I know,” Hiccup says fondly. “But don’t get used to it,” he teases, “it’s only for the days I’m a little too busy to fly him.”

“Watch out, Haddock. I’m about to steal your dragon.” Toothless hums underneath you, as if he’s laughing.

Hiccup rolls his eyes with a smile and leans forward you peck your cheek. “Alright, alright. Now let’s head home.”

Together, we stand taller

written by: Josefine / @selflessbellamy

prompt: ‘Bellarke + height difference ’ for @thejonderettegirl

word count: 1359

In the end, she chooses him after no more than a day of consideration, and he moves in the next week, bringing his stuff from the dorm in cardboard boxes. Unable to resist curiosity, Clarke looks at the labels on them, and she quickly realizes that he’s only brought six, and three of them are labeled ‘books’, two are labeled ‘clothes’ and the last one is ‘miscellaneous’.

When Clarke wrote her detailed Facebook post in search of a roommate, her requirements were simple:

  1. Clean up your own shit
  2. No loud sex on Monday nights
  3. No misogynists are allowed within a fifty feet radius of my residence
  4. (If you’re taller than 5’4’’, that would be awesome. I hate that I have to stand on the counter to reach my plates, since giraffes apparently designed this place)

Of course, she had received a bunch of offers within three weeks, but none of them seemed to stand out like the one from Bellamy Blake, a history major who — like her — wished to escape the noisy and rude roommate he had ended up with at NYU.

Dear Clarke Griffin,

My name’s Bellamy Blake. I’m twenty-three, 5’9’’ and a history major at NYU (which basically means I’m a certified nerd, yes. But please don’t ask me to do math). I’m currently in desperate need of a place to stay outside of campus, because my roommate likes to sexile me every other night and leave his dirty laundry on my side of the dorm. He also snores, a LOT.

It would make me very happy if you’d take me into consideration. And if you do choose me, I’ll look forward to getting to know you over a glass of wine. I’ll even bring my latest creation: a game of darts that has Trump’s face plastered on it.

        -    Bellamy Blake.

Keep reading

blue--winter  asked:

Can you write klance where something goes wrong during team bonding, or during battle, or something and they can hear each other's thoughts?? Romance, obviously. And fluff and angst? *bonus points if Lance and Keith make stupid excuses to the team bc they don't tell them about their sudden telepathy (but Allura and Coran figure it out and just don't say anything)

OKAY THIS BECAME WAY LONGER THAN EXPECTED (but I don’t think that’s bad). I had so much fun writing this. I really hope you like this!

Thank you Avery for editing/beta-ing! 


Title in Masterlist: Klance Mind Link

Word Count: 2, 880 words

Character Point of View: Mostly Keith

Warnings: Spoilers for the ending of season two!

Keep reading

Unexpected coachsurfing

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader 
Word Count: 2.5k+
Warning: Language, fluff, smut 

Summary: You travel to New York but you screw your airbnb booking, so you have two choices. The first one is spending the whole night on the streets alone. The second one is accepting the kind, utterly handsome stranger’s offer and stay at his place…

A/N: Hey Guys! It is my very first story in English, I hope you will enjoy it! Any comments are highly appreciated! Thanks for reading it!
Huge thanks to @littlemissavenger and @painfullythickimagines for helping me with this story!

Originally posted by stuckybarnesrogers

I was standing in front of the door with a shocked expression on my face, amazed at how I’d screwed this up. How I’d managed to mix up the dates? I looked down to my phone, to check my AirBnb account once again. My booking was there… Only the date was wrong; It started from tomorrow. I covered my face with my palms and walked out to the street. Alright, so I’m here, in New York at 6:30pm and I need to find a place to sleep very quick! I was lucky I found some wifi, so I could check couch surfing websites for something cheap.

It was an hour ago that I sat down on the bench in front of the McDonald’s but except for my growing hunger nothing has changed.

‘I just give up!’ I sighed and covered my face in my palms. ‘I’m gonna sleep under a bridge.’ I jumped up from the bench pulling my backpack with me to find a suitable bridge to sleep under. I was scared… I was really scared and angry at myself. I was all alone in city I have never been to before, with only a backpack and a dying battery. 34%… Awesome. I slip it into my pocket and thread my fingers into my hair.

‘Are you lost? Do you need help?’ A stranger is standing next to me, looking down at me curiously.

Keep reading

Snippet of the unrequited Shizaya fic

Warning: Angst. 

A/N: I need to share this cause my heart hurts no Shizu-chan. Also implication of Izaya being in a relationship with someone who’s not Shizuo (because it’s unrequited Shizaya)

We’re adults.

It hit him like a sudden epiphany.

…I never really realized it until now.

It’s normal for a man to be in a relationship.

Even if it’s not with a woman…

It’s Izaya, so if he’s seriously in a relationship, he has his own reasons.

…Reasons I don’t even know.

The rain continued to fall onto him as Shizuo dissolved his emotions away in his thoughts.

Izaya was still disliked by the city.

But the people he and Shizuo knew still supported him when he had told them he was in a relationship.

Humans were supportive of other humans in matters of romance.

There were people who would condemn Izaya for being in a relationship with a man, but it was nothing to the man.

He had already been condemned by the city for being who he was.

It was nothing new to him, only now he had an angel by his side.

Nothing had changed.

It felt like everything around him remained the same.

He still saw Celty going around as the Black Bike, with Shinra sometimes behind her. He saw the Raira kid whom he had told he was quitting the Dollars, and the girl he couldn’t remember the name of. He saw the blond boy who had apologized to him for the Yellow Scarves incident, and a girl who was probably his girlfriend.

He saw the guy whom had honestly approached him for a fight, Rokujou Chikage, around with his girlfriends. He saw Izaya’s sisters exploring the city together. He saw Kasuka with Ruri in their disguises.

He himself still went around with Tom and his kouhai Vorona in their debt collecting job.

Vorona would eventually return to Russia, but he would still be going around collecting debts with Tom.

Tom would eventually retire if he found a better job with his qualifications, and Shizuo would be moving onto the next job to earn his keep.

Nothing would change.

It was a realization that would have made him shed tears –

But Shizuo didn’t care about himself enough to cry.

 …I see.

Izaya is normal.

He’s abnormal as a human, but he’s not a monster like me.

Izaya is human.

And humans move on.


Hey so this was written for @stonermurphy it was their prompt, I just wrote it. Enjoy, there is totally cursing. Lots of cursing.

“Tho thith will make me cool?” Rich sat in front of… Some guy? He heard about this, some drug from Japan. This dude was selling it. He wanted to be chill. “Yeah, get rid of the lisp too. You want it?” “YETH!” Rich said, almost jumping in the air. He had a reason for this, he promises. See, there was this kid who had headphones and a red hoodie. His name was Michael, he was really really cool. He didn’t care what people thought of him, he had a PT Cruiser! He didn’t drive it yet, but he had it! Oh that Cruiser. The things that Cruiser did to Rich was incredible. It’s just that Rich couldn’t talk to Michael without the lisp he had. He’d get flustered and embarrassed and he couldn’t do it.He tried.

“Hey Michael what wath the thience homework?” Rich asked that day. “I’m sorry what?” Michael took off his headphones, smiling at the shorter boy that day. “I-I athked–” “A lisp? Ha! Gay!” Rich heard some girl say, he was unsure who. No he wasn’t, it was Madeline. Rich hasn’t spoken to Michael since that day. “Well where’s the money kid?” Rich dug into his pocket, pulling out a small wallet, handing the guy over four hundred bucks. It was terrible, he saved that to buy Michael prom tickets when they were juniors.

They were freshman.

“Thanks kid, take it with Mountain Dew. Green, okay? No other kind will work.” The dealer said, handing him a pill. “What elthe would I uthe? Red? That'th been dithcontinued thince the 90'th!” Rich joked, seeing the guy tense. “Wait doeth that thut it off?” “Yes. Now leave.” Rich hopped to the nearest 711 he could find, walking to the fridges with Mountain Dew.

“Green is good but red is better.” Rich heard behind him. He turned around to see the boy of his affection behind him with a huge slushie.

“M-Michael!” God did he just stutter?! “Hey, what'th up?”

“Not much, junk food run for the aftermath of pot. You should join me and Jeremy sometime.” Michael smiled– Rich loved that damn smile– and left. Maybe he didn’t have to take the pill, he could just get high with Michael right now right? No. He paid for this pill. He would do it.

He paid for the Dew, walked outside, and took the pill. Nothing happened.“Rip off.” He hissed until he felt pain in his head, grabbing it he heard a voice and all of sudden the pain was over.

Why was Kermit the Frog in front of him?

I’m not Kermit Richard.

“What the hell–”

Don’t talk aloud, I can hear your thoughts just think. 

‘Okay, what are you?

I’m your SQUIP, the pill you just swallowed. My job is to make you popular. Starting with that lisp. Actually first your name, you’re Rich now. Not Richard, now to the lisp. Rich felt an electric shock ripple through his body, he yelped and grabbed his arms.“Richard?” Michael? Why was Michael in front of him?! “You okay?“ 

"Yeth–” another shock sent him wincing. “Y-yes.” Holy shit.The SQUIP is curing his lisp.

This is the boy you want? 


No, he’s a loser. Tell him you think his car is shit.

'I like his car!’ Another shock.“What kind of car is that? That looks hideous.” Rich lied, faking a laugh.

“Oh… It’s a PT Cruiser. I like it, is it not cool enough?” Michael did an eyebrow wiggle, making Rich laugh silently. Another shock.

“No. It makes you a gay loser.”

Good, now leave. Rich turned and left.

~ ~ ~

The SQUIP turned out to be less than perfect. Here he was in the hospital, SQUIPless.

He was rooming Jeremy Heere and who else would visit except Michael Mell himself. God how much did Rich make Michael want to kill himself?

“Hi Jeremy, hey Rich.” Michael said, walking in the room with crystal Pepsi and a bag of cheese puffs.

“Hey Michael.” Jeremy said. “I-I am so sorry about the whole SQUIP thing, you’re not a loser! You saved us and I– I just– I’m doing this for Christine. God I’d be lucky if she still wanted to talk to me–”

“You’re fine, tall ath.” Rich mumbled, eyes closed. “Thhe would be thuper happy if you athked her out.” His stupid lisp he hated it.

“Do I not get a hello Rich? I’m hurt. Very hurt, I thought you appreciated my company!” Michael mocked a pout, which was adorable, and sat in between their beds.

“No I like theeing you. Hello Michael, how are you?” Rich asked, looking at the 'riends’ on his bag.

“Still driving my gay loser car so all is well.” Michael joked, but stopped smiling when Rich winced.


That was the SQUIP.

“Hey you were right though, I’m a loser. Never a better time to be a loser! Did I tell you that I told Jeremy about how humans stopped evolving?”

“Tho there'th no reathon to get thronger right? I heard about that!”

“Jeremy?” All three boys turned when they heard a voice. It was Christine.

“Hi Christine!” Jeremy said, voice lacking confidence.

“Wanna walk to the cafeteria with me?” She asked, smiling.Jeremy nodded and left with her, leaving Michael and Rich on their own.

“Michael? I’m… I’m really thorry. About everything I did I mean. I wath a dick.”

“Yeah, you were, but hey you won’t be anymore right?”

Rich nodded, looking at his bed sheets.

Michael frowned. He walked over and put the Crystal Pepsi to Rich’s mouth. “Take a sip.” Rich did as he was told. 

“Oh my god thith is good why don’t they make it anymore?!”

“Because god is dead.” Michael said in a solemn voice. He cracked a smile and touched Rich’s faded red streak. “In honor of it I think you should die this white.”

“Nah, purple blue and a reddith pink.”

“That’s the bisexual flag–”

“I’m bi.” Rich blurted. “I’m totally bi.”

Michael stared him dead in the eyes. Rich became worried Michael would walk out. “Hi totally bi, I’m Michael.”

“Get out. Leave. Never come back.” Rich laughed, snorting in between giggles. He looked at Michael who was now smirking.

“And I’m gay, so there’s that.” Michael walked closer. “Not for Jeremy, so I will have to get rid of that beautiful 'riends’ if you don’t mind.”

Rich snorted again, smiling. “I worked hard on that, but fine.”

“Did you… Work 'tho’ hard on it?”

“Thtop!!” Rich groaned, hitting his head on the pillow.

“Well I’m gonna go. Jeremy is getting let out today and I’m his ride so I’ll wrestle him away from Christine.” With that, Michael made an exit and went to find Jeremy.

Rich was sure he’d never see Michael until he came to school, but he was wrong.O

h how wrong was he.

“Michael makes am entrance!” Rich heard while he was laying down, daydreaming of his crush.

“Are you gonna do that each time you enter a room?” Rich sat up, faking a scowl. He thought it was cute, if he was honest.

“Yes–I mean yeth. But for real, in all seriousness, how are we today? I brought a present~” Michael sat down next to Rich and pulled out a red Dew.

“The THQUIP is gone Michael.” Rich deadpanned.

“Yeah but you never got a taste and when we were freshman I said it was better than regular so here you go!” Michael pushed it towards the shorter boy, smiling. Rich stared at it, debating whether or not to drink. His curiosity got the better of him and drank a sip, then a gulp. He ended up chugging the whole bottle. It was great.

“WHY HAVE I NEVER HAD THAT BEFORE?!” Rich cried, throwing the bottle to the ground and grabbing Michael’s arms.

“Cmon dude that was my drink–”


“I know Rich, that’s why I gave it to you.”

Rich smiled, jumping in his seat. “I need ten gallonth of that. I really need it.”

“Oh god I turned you into a Dew junkie, didn’t I?” Michael frowned, making a praying gesture with his hands as a joke. “Oh why did he have to get addicted so young?”

“Thut up.” Rich laughed, punching his shoulder lightly.

“I’m sorry I don’t know how to 'thut up’ but I can shut up.” Michael teased, touching Rich’s hair.

“Boo. Bad joke!” Rich batted at Michael’s hand, but somehow ended up leaning into the touch more (who knows how).

“Well, if you’re gonna be friends with Jeremy without the SQUIP you’re gonna have to deal with bad jokes because I’m gonna hang out with him.”

“Great, that thounds fun.” Rich said, his voice sounded awkward and scrambled.

“Unless he leaves me again. At least you didn’t outright leave me after years of knowing me, it hurts you know? He’d much rather be with Christine or-or Jake or you!” Michael was shaking, it made Rich’s heart ache slightly.

He couldn’t say that he left Michael for the super computer too, even if it was the truth.

“Michael, why don’t we hang out when I get out of here?” Rich’s voice cracked at every other word. He was nervous, very nervous. “We can play games or something?” That wasn’t supposed to be a question, but it came out like one.

“… Dude, have you ever played apocalypse of the damned?” Rich quietly listened to every word Michael said about the game, it seemed to be a game full of zombie and place puns but it would be fun to test out.“—and I still haven’t beat level ten and I need a new player two because Jeremy isn’t going to play anymore!” Michael finished, taking gulps of air into his mouth.

“I’ll be your 'player two’ if you want.” Rich said, smiling. Since when did his smile come unnaturally?

“Aw, I’m honored. Now I guess you won’t be… Bi yourself?” Michael smiled.

“That wathn’t horrible, I’m proud.”

“I’m glad.” Michael said, leaning on his hands, fluttering his eyelashes. Rich blushed, much to his dismay.

“Well then get ready for bad oneth, I tell loadth!”

“Tell me one.”

“I didn’t pan thith out well!” Rich emphasized the “pan” and smiled a lot.

“A replacement of plan?” Michael asked. “Classy.”

“Very!” Rich confirmed.

“Very what?”

“Very clathy– you jutht wanted to hear the lithp didn’t you?” Rich’s eyes widened in horror.

“Yes. It’s cute.” Michael grinned, winking at the shorter boy.How many times was Rich going to be confirmed short?

“O-oh really?” Rich leaned on his arm, tripping as he missed the bed and fell face first to the floor. Michael howled with laughter, trying to lean down and help him up only to laugh harder and fall next to him. Rich smiled and began to laugh too, ignoring the pain.

“I’m sorry you just fell! That was amazing!” Michael looked at Rich, noticing how close they were. It would be a lie to say Michael didn’t like Rich. He always appreciated the way he bullied him (was Michael a masochist? Probably), he loved the way Rich would joke in the hallways, how he’d gossip about Jake’s “latest conquest”. But Michael also liked– no loved– Richard. The nerdier version of Rich. He used to stalk him, if he was honest. He followed him in a 711 once in freshman year and judged his choice of Mountain Dew! He pretended to get food for his high! No he loved Richard and his lisp and his bad jokes. He loved the way he’d trip in the hallways and mess up. He also loved bisexual Richard, not straight Rich. So yeah, Michael was blushing insanely.

Rich was still doing his little giggle snort laugh, ignoring the obvious tension and passion there was. Michael moved closer and closer and–

“Why is Rich on the floor?” Both boys looked up.Jake was standing there, grinning. “So you finally made out? Good, because Rich will–”

“No! Hey, thup Jakey-D?” Rich sat up. “Came to vithit me?”

“Yeah, I did. But I see Michael is already making moves, should I leave or stay?”

“Nah man, you can see your buddy. I’m leaving anyway. See you tomorrow Richard!” Michael left, ignoring Rich’s “it'th Rich”, and getting to his PT Cruiser (would he ever change his car?) and drove all the way to Jeremy’s. He needed to talk about this. It’s too bad Jenna was on the phone with Jeremy when Michael busted down his door screaming “I ALMOST KISSED RICHARD JEREMY MY BUDDY ASK HOW IT IS HANGING BECAUSE IT IS NOT BANGING! IM FREAKING OUT!”

It was silent until Jenna squealed. 

“DONT TELL ANYONE JENNA!” Michael grabbed the phone, practically crying. Jeremy uttered a quick “Jenna don’t, got to go” and hung up. He turned to Michael and asked him to explain.

“Do you think he’d actually be interethted in me?” Rich asked Jake, moving back onto the bed. “I jutht don’t think he liketh me!”

“He offered for you to be his player two, didn’t he?” Jake said, smiling. “I forgot how awkward you where pre-SQUIP. Did you really fall trying to lean like you were cool?”

“Yeah, I did.” Rich avoided the word 'yes’ and looked away.

“That’s amazing.” Jake snickered, punching Rich’s arm lightly.

“I’m thorry about your houthe.” Rich mumbled. “You can thtay with me if you want.”

“Nah I’m staying with Chloe, her parents are cool with it.” Jake waggled his eyebrows. “Speaking of, I got to go. I’ll see you at school right?”

“Yeah, you will.” Rich said, knowing Monday would be his doom. Then everyone would know he was still a nerd.

~ ~ ~

“So Jenna says that Michael said he almost kissed Rich.” Chloe said to Brooke and Jenna (even though Jenna was the first to know).

“Jenna?! You said you wouldn’t tell anyone!” Jeremy walked up, eyes wide. “Michael is going to be so pissed!”

“We won’t tell anyone Jeremy.” Brooke smiled. “Except Christine, we told her. We also told Jake, but he promised not to tell Rich.”

Michael walked up, some weird hipster drink in his hand, smiling. “What’s the beeswax friends?”

Jeremy laughed. “Nothing Michael, just something Madeline did.”

“Oh my gosh, so Madeline–” Jenna went on this huge rant on what the poor girl did recently. Michael pretended to be interested but looked at the clock. It was Friday, he would visit Rich after school. He knew it was almost a matter of time until that clock showed he could leave.

“–Michael?” Brooke’s voice brought him back to reality.


“Are you wearing crocs?” Brooke looked at his feet in disgust.

“…. Yes?”

“Oh my gosh you poor boy. We need to buy you actual shoes!” Chloe gasped, shaking her head.

“Never. Crocs five-ever.“ Michael said, walking away.

”… He’s wearing socks with them!“ Jenna cried, hitting Jeremy’s arm. "Help him!”

“Nah, he won’t listen to me. Only if I insult him which I’m not doing again.”

“Fine.” Jenna huffed, going back into her story.

~ ~ ~

“You’re wearing crocth? Really Michael?” Rich raised an eyebrow.

“Oh don’t be a Jenna! You know you love my crocs!”

“I do.” Rich said, meaning every word.

“Okay, don’t lie they’re hideous.” Michael said sitting on his bed.

“Okay firtht of all, they’re not. Thecond of all, why do you wear them then?!” Rich moved to sit next to Michael.

“Someone has to like this stuff, and they’re comfortable. One day, my little Rich, I’ll get you crocs and make you wear them to school!”

To prom! We’re wearing crocs to prom. That’s final!

“I’m not little!” Rich said, instead.“You’re shorter than me. Remind me when I get you in crocs I should give you my hoodie.” Michael said, smiling.

“I thould take your glatheth too. Become a thmaller Michael.” Rich hated saying “glasses”. Michael wasn’t smiling anymore. “Michael? Are you upthet?”

“N-no. Not all.” Michael was picturing Rich in all his clothes. It was really cute.

“You thtopped thmiling.” Rich frowned.

“Sorry, I was thinking I can’t see without my glasses so you’d have to take a picture.” This was a lie, Michael would be able to see Rich clearly. He just wanted a picture.

“Okay, I’m fine with that.” Rich smiled again, he began to bounce. “Gueth what! I’m getting out Monday! I can’t wait to hear all the drama from Jenna and Chloe and Brooke! Jake wouldn’t tell me anything.”

“Oh, oh drama yeah! Yeah there’s been a lot.” Of my drama. “Madeline has been crazy.”

“I’m really looking forward to her drama.” Rich admitted.

“Yeah, well prom is coming up too. Lots of drama there, Jake is probably going with Chloe. Brooke has no date, Jeremy will ask Christine. Hey if you’re into Brooke you could take her.”

“Nah, I-I have my eye thet on thomeone.” Rich admitted, hoping Michael got the hint. He didn’t, and he was upset. 

“That’s good! I bet they’ll say yes.”

“Are you going with anyone?” Rich asked, hoping the answer was–

“No.” Michael said. “I’m not a prom person, I wouldn’t get a date. I’d probably go and be in the corner eating all the food. No, probably getting high out back.”

“Ah, I thee.” Rich felt no courage, shrinking into his bed.

“Shit what time is it? I have to go home, I’m sorry Richard. I’ll see you, okay? Here’s my number, text me!” Michael left.Rich, for some reason, liked it when Michael called him Richard. That wasn’t his biggest concern though. He had Michael’s number! Wait, that wasn’t the biggest concern! He texted Jake.

Rich: Hey Jakey-D, how do I ask Michael to prom?

Wait.Shit that was the SQUIP group chat.

He was screwed.

Jenna Cakes: OMG you want to ask him?!

Brooking it to class: Rich, you have to be fancy with it.

Valentine’s Day: Can we help?!

He’s Heere: I can tell you for a fact Michael would say yes if you just gave him a slushie. Better hurry, he’s been talking about some JD he met at 711.

Jakey-D: yo, I gotchu I’ll message him!


Rich was hiding under his blanket, mostly because of the pun names but also because he was nervous; that’s what he did when he was nervous.

Brooking it to class: why not flowers?

He’s Heere: he loves chocolates, get him weed brownies. Do it, I dare you to.

Jakey-D: I double dog dare you.

Valentine’s Day: triple dog dare you. Can’t not do it now.

He’s Heere: write 'prom?’ with icing! Make it Mountain Dew Red icing!

Rich laughed. That would be amusing.

Brooking it to class: I’ll help you pick out flowers. NOT WEED JEREMY!

He’s Heere: boo.

Brooking it to class: this’ll be a fun project.

Rich: cool, I get out Sunday so we can do it then.

Rich opened the calendar and made his plans with Brooke. Sunday would be fun.

~ ~ ~

Sunday was not fun, because Rich had to text Michael saying he was busy with Brooke. Michael said it was fine, but Rich thought he was lying.

“So I suggest we get yellow acacia. It signifies a true friendship but a secret love. We’ll get him a couple of those and also some white dittany! Those show passion and love.” Brooke was saying, pulling Rich through some weird flower shop. Some guy with curly hair and glasses was at the counter with a blonde girl. The name tags read 'Seymour’ and 'Audrey’.

“Okay, tho thethe two?” Rich grabbed the bouquets. He smiled a bit.Perfect.

“Oh, are those for your girlfriend? How lovely! I wish my boyfriend did that! He’s a dentist, you may know him!” Audrey, the female flower seller, smiled. Seymour frowned at the mention, staring at a bruise on the woman’s arm that Rich noticed.

“No. He’s asking someone to prom though!” Brooke answered excitedly.

“Y-yeah. I am.” Rich mumbled, paying for the flowers.

“Okay, so you put those in water and you’ll give them to Michael. Let’s find pot brownies for him.”

“Ah, Jeremy thaid he’d get them, tho it'th okay!” Rich smiled. “I thould go home." 

"Alright, if you say so.” Brooke smiled sweetly before leaving. Rich sighed, heading home. He was just sneaking to his room when he heard his dad walk in the hallway.

“Flowers? Asking a girl out?”

“Yeah, I am.” Rich lied.

“Put them in a vase at least.” His dad smirked.Rich nodded and went to the kitchen, putting them in separate vases. He brought them to his room and texted Michael.

Rich: I’ll see you tomorrow right?

RMD: of course! You’d willingly talk to me in public? I’m honored.

Rich was about to say yes when he saw his username changed.

Richard: Michael.

RMD: yes?

Richard: why

RMD: because I can Richard, fight me. 

Richard: How’d you even do that?

RMD: I’m a beautiful hacker fight me.

Richard: change it back!

RMD: never.

Rich sighed and put his phone down. He couldn’t wait until tomorrow.

~ ~ ~

“Richard, hey–” Jenna snickered, before being cut off.

“Don’t call me Richard. I’m Rich.” Rich mumbled, leaning against his locker. “Michael changed my thtupid uthername thomehow." 

"Do you have the flowers?” Brooke asked.

“Yeth. Where'th Michael?”

“Wait! Here!” Jeremy gave him tupperware with brownies in it. “He’s at his locker.”

“Thankth.” Rich walked over as cooly as he could to Michael’s locker.

“Hey Richard!” Michael smirked. His eyes fell upon the flowers. “Are those for the prom person?”

“Yeah, here.” Rich placed the flowers in Michael’s hands. He carefully opened the tupperware where the message was written. It just said “prom?” but there was only five brownies. Rich wasn’t complaining.

“That’s cool I bet they’ll love it!” Michael said, giving a thumbs up (as best as one could while holding flowers).

“Do you?” Rich asked.

“Well yeah, I’m jealous of the person– oh these are for me? Oh… OH!” Michael’s eyes widened as he looked at the brownies, then flowers. “OH MY GOD! HOLY SHIT!”

Rich let out a nervous laugh. “Ith that a no?”

“ITS A MCFRICKEN YES!” Michael screamed.

“Never thay "mcfricken again”.“ Rich deadpanned.

"No promises, but yes! Of course yes! Totally yes!” Michael was gonna cry, he really was. “This is amazing!”

“I’m glad, I got nervouth.” Rich admitted.

“I’d be too, I’m pretty awesome I’ll be honest.” Michael teased, slinging his free arm around Rich. “Now, Richard, is this an invitation to date?”


“Okay good now I can do this.” Michael said.Before Rich could ask what “this” was Michael swooped down and kissed him.

It was going to be a great prom.

I do accept notes (GET IT! HA!). Thanks for reading. I may write one for their prom.