Ohhhhh, man, I’ve got the perfect one! I call it—DUN, DUN, DUNNNNNNN…
The Day Mabel Got Her Braces Put On And It Hurt Like a Million Hammer-Monsters Slamming Her Face: The Saga!
But trust me, it turns into a happy story. And a hungry one! But moving on, vwoop!
So yeah, I got my braces on quite a while ago, but I still remember that day like it was yesterday. The orthodontist-guy’s light was super bright, I found some blue gum under the dentist’s chair, and my mouth was RIPPING MY TEETH OUT STRAIGHT FROM MY GUMS!
Or at least, that’s what it felt like.
On the drive home Dipper let me smoosh my face into his vest, but it only helped a little. See, on the pain-ness meter, braces are like, a 72. Out of 74! 74 is like, death or something.
And nobody in my family had braces, so they didn’t really know how bad it hurt, but like Mom said, when I stopped talking for that long, you knew something was wrong.
Finally, I guess Dipper got tired of me being all mopey—the breaking point was when I couldn’t eat any gummy koalas without my mouth hurting—and decided to do something about it. So you know what we did?
That’s right, COMMENCED ON AN EPIC FOOD QUEST!!!
We’re talking applesauce and mashed bananas. We’re talking yogurt and honey. We’re talking pizza—with a FORK!!! Basically any combination of foods that ended up mega soft, we tried it out. That way, even in my toothy turmoil (Tooth-oil! Ew, wait, that sounds gross), I could still eat something delicious and—well—not painful!
Best of all, Dipper always joined in—whatever I had to try out, he would try it too! Eventually we had so much fun that I just kinda forgot about the pain for that day. And as the time continued, we just kept trying out more and more crazy foods until soon enough I could eat just like a normal human again! Nom-nom!
Eventually I got used to having braces and stuff of course, but now every time I have to get them tightened, Dipper and I make that day a little awesomer by having the zany-bonkers-food fest!
So yeah, there’s my childhood memory, even though it still lives on today! Now, It’s super fun coming up with new foods to baffle my teeth—and Dipper.
I wonder how he’d feel about a mango marshmallow milkshake next time…