now right

10

I could see all the stuff that was special to me. All the stuff that matters. I love you, Shelly. And I wanna spend my time with that. I mean, you know, if that’s okay with you.

6

BLACK PANTHER AESTHETIC 2 / ?

the black panther has been the protector of wakanda for generations. a mantle passed from warrior to warrior. and now because your friend murdered my father, i also wear the mantle of king. so i ask you, as both warrior and king, how long do you think you can keep your friend safe from me?

Some Jonsa commentary

So I’m pretty new to the Jonsa fold but I’m already a sucker for their relationship. This is my first time writing anything in depth about Game of Thrones and Jonsa so I hope this all makes sense. here goes nothing!

I was talking to a friend privately about Jon and Sansa and their tension so far this season and it really started to make some see some of things about Jon and Sansa and about why they have this tense dynamic with each other. It’s easy to put it all off on them having differing opinions on their situation but honestly that’s just….basic, for lack of a better word. Their is so much nuance to their dynamic so putting it all off on different opinions just doesn’t work for me. There is more to it than that.

I think that a lot of the tension between then from Jon’s end comes from Jon being confused about how he’s supposed to function with her and feel about her. Now I’m not saying he’s secretly in love with her and can’t handle it because their isn’t enough support for that idea yet BUT I think he does feel a connection to her and something that’s beyond brotherly affection towards her and it’s confusing and affects his behavior with her. On the surface it might seem weird for Jon to be confused but when you really think about it, it makes a whole lot of sense.

Jon and Sansa didn’t have a very close relationship growing up. We know he was much closer to Arya. Even Sansa admitted that she was awful to him growing up. I’m sure they both shared a very basic affection as siblings but that affection never materialized into a close sibling bond like it usually does among siblings. Basically there has always been a wall there between them that never allowed them to truly connect with each other in a strong and healthy sibling way.

Then Kings Landing happens.

Jon and Sansa split up as well as the rest of their family. Sansa heads south a happy naive girl who still believes in knights and wants to be a perfect queen loved by all and give her loving king heirs like she’s been taught. She wants to be the princesses in the songs and she believes her knight awaits her. Her perfect fairytale life comes crashing down quickly and she ends up in the clutches of vipers like Joffrey and Ceresi who manipulate and lie to her and take her father’s head right in front of her. Her world changes and there is no going back. From there she’s forced from one abusive and precarious situation to another. Never finding stability or peace. The optimism and hope she once had gradually fades as she realizes that the only thing keeping her alive is her name, the only thing that gives her any value to the people around her is the name that is synonymous with treason, death, and pain now. She believes she has no family left except Jon until she later learns that Bran and Rickon are alive. By the time Sansa makes her way to the wall in season 6 she’s become disillusioned and has hardened but she’s also blossomed into a strong young women with a unique intelligence due to her surroundings. She’s very different from the Sansa Stark that was awful to Jon and wanted to leave winterfel

Jon heads to the wall where he’s isolated from his entire family but he thinks he has found a place to belong, a place among fellow outcasts. Much like Sansa, his ideas about his new home and his future are quickly shown to be nothing more than delusion. Immediately he’s placed In the middle of things far greater and dangerous than he ever imagined. His isolation from his family also starts to gradually hit home as as he learns of the deaths of his father, Bran and Rickon, and Robb and Catelyn one by while he is powerless to do anything about it. His sense of duty to the nights watch grows even greater as he’s forced to put his feelings about his family away. He matures into a warrior, a knight who feels a profound duty to protect his brotherhood and the rest of the realm from the dangers he now knows aren’t just found in stupid songs and tales they tell children. His life becomes about one battle after the another. He’s drawn into fight after fight. He’s thrust into leadership positions that he never wanted and has to carry the burden of the entire nights watch and the realm on his shoulders as the threat of the Walkers gets greater and greater. He gives everything to the Nights Watch, only to end up being killed by his own brothers.

Jon is resurrected and his entire world changes. His already broody personality is amplified. Nothing about his existence makes sense anymore. He’s forced to kill all the men who betrayed him, even Ollie who was just a boy. At this point Jon is completely disillusioned with his life and no longer feels like he has a purpose. He’s tired. He’s exhausted with trying to be a hero. Minutes before Sansa arrives at castle black Jon is packing his bags His friend tries to convince him to stay, tries to remind him of the great threat out here and how they all need Jon to keep leading and fighting but Jon doesn’t want to hear it. He can’t stay with the nights watch anymore after what happened. He feels he has no purpose there anymore and is planning to head south. We doesn’t even know what he’s going to do in the south. He feels lost and the only thing he knows to do it get away from the place that’s taken everything from him. It’s a jarring for the audience to see Jon being content with a purposeless life of drifting because we are used to Jon being our hero. The man who always finds the courage to keep going despite the odds. A man who carries the burden of saving everyone even if he doesn’t want to or feels like he can’t. The hero never stops fighting. The hero never gets tired.

Right as this debate his happening Sansa arrives at Castle Black so we never get to hear the end of it. When she comes it’s the first time Jon has seen her or anyone in his family since season 1. I won’t rehash their reunion but the timing of Sansa’s arrival is not a coincidence.

Sansa was the one who gave Jon purpose and motivation to be our hero again. This was crucial for him because as I mentioned above he has lost it all after all he’s been through.

Sansa’s presence reignites the knight in Jon. It wasn’t a complete transformation right away but it starts to happen for him almost instantly. As soon as she’s back with him he immediately feels a duty to protect her. When she asks where he is headed he corrects her and says “where will we go”. When he wanted to just drift south alone he immediately changes his plans to accommodate her. There is no way he’s leaving her behind. Where he goes she will go and we know that Jon will protect her until his last breath. That’s the hero we all knew and loved starting to rise to the surface again and it’s all because of Sansa.

When Sansa comes we see Jon smile again, laugh again. In their first sit down conversation after the reunion Jon is hesitant and regretful about what ended up happening to them all, but for the first time since he was resurrected he’s not dwelling on what happened to him at the wall. Being around Sansa starts to give him his identity back, the identity he had lost when he died and came back to life.

Despite this welcomed return of some of the shades of his former self, when Sansa suggests they go back to Winterfel his softened and light hearted demeanor changes back to the worn out former hero that he’s become now. I won’t get into that scene too much but Sansa is the first person Jon shows his exasperated feelings about war to. When he takes to his friend he said he couldn’t stay at the wall because of what happened, but when he talks to Sansa he’s much more transparent. I believe he decides to finally tell his truth to her because she’s one of the few people who doesn’t see him as the hero who is supposed to save them all from doom, and because he knows that this is important to her.

Jon was tired of fighting. He was tired of death, The destruction, the politics, the way war corrupts good men, the way war claims the lives of not only men but when children. He tells her that he’s been fighting since he left winterfel and he can’t do it anymore. He fought and he lost. Like I said he’s a broken hero, an exhausted man who can’t bring himself to be the knight that everyone wants him to be anymore.

When he tells her he’s tired of fighting she can see the exasperation and the exhaustion in his eyes, and I believe she felt great empathy for him. She can probably relate since I’m sure she’s also tired of the cycle she’s been on since she left her home, but Sansa still has a cause to champion, her own cause, her families cause. She reminds him that their survival depends on taking the North back. They will never be safe out their drifting in the south. Never. And she tells him that she will do it herself if she has to.

Those words are what shook Jon out of his funk. Sansa is the person who inspired him to be the hero again. She was his motivation to fight again when he wanted to give up for good. When she stormed back into his life he found a purpose again, protecting her, and when she said she would take their home back he found his resolve to fight again because he couldn’t let her go to war with the boltons alone. Sansa was determined, and if she was going to do this he had to do it with her because he loved her and it was his duty to protect her. She needed him to fight for their home and their survival so he did what he said he was tired of doing. He rallied an army for her, found his inner knight and went to battle despite negative odds because Sansa (and Rickon) needed him. By doing so he found his purpose again, he became a leader again, he becomes the hero that the North needed again.

This is a major turning point for Jon and almost all of it is motivated by Sansa. It’s important because that caused this experience together formed an emotional bond between them, a bond that was nothing like what they would have had if they had been close as siblings growing up. Sansa wasn’t his delicate little sister anymore, she was the rightful Lady of Winterfel, a fearless and determined partner, a smart and cunning woman who does things like boldly tell to her abuser to sleep well because he will die come morning and publicly undermines him

The circumstances by which Sansa came back into his life and the timing created this dynamic between them that didn’t feel like siblings to Jon, it felt like something else, something neither of them quite understood or knew how to manage. That’s why once the fighting is over and the war is won they don’t know how to truly handle it. Jon struggles with it the most because he wants to put her back into the little sister box but she clearly doesn’t fit in it. He tries to be her “brother” but she’s not the “sister” he knew and he can tell. She’s not delicate, she’s not the gently naive girl anymore. When she reaches for his drink the first time they talk he’s surprised that she drinks because the Sansa he knew was just a girl who didn’t do such things. When she’s assertive as they plan their attack he’s a little taken back because the girl he knew wasn’t a part of military strategy.

He doesn’t know how to function as a brother with her because that role clashes with everything he knows and feels about her now. It’s confusing for him because his head says she’s his sister, duty says he she’s his sister and he should treat her as such, but she feels like a partner when they interact, their bond feels more like one you would find with two spouses, bit too siblings and he can’t turn that feeling off because they never had a strong sibling like relationship to begin with. Sansa functions and feels like Queen to him, not like a sibling and he can’t quite wrap his head around it. He had difficulty embracing it because the idea of Sansa as something other than his sister is too jarring for him.

It’s also hard for him because Sansa doesn’t need a brother she needs a King and a partner. She doesn’t need him to protect her in the typical brother like way. She even tells him that he can’t, that no one can protect her. She doesn’t need him to hover over her and make sure the boys don’t mess with her and she doesn’t hurt herself. She doesn’t need him to shield her from the bad things of the world and treat her like she’s made of porcelain glass. She needs him to lead the North and let her be at his side as he does it. She needs him to be a smart, brave and fierce leader that stands at her side to protect their home and their family. She doesn’t need him to replace Ned, she doesn’t need him to replace Robb, she needs him to be the opposite of all the men she’s been with since she left her home. She needs him to function not like a brother, but like the antithesis of who Joffrey, Ramsey, and Littlefinger were in her life. He senses it, and he is reluctant to do it because having a bond with your sister that’s more like the bond of a spouse just isn’t what’s supposed to happen. It’s not how they are supposed to be with each other, it’s not how they should be on some level they both know that it’s not normal but it’s their reality. Sansa needs him to be the Ned to her Catelyn, and to him she already feels like the Catelyn to his Ned, but he can’t embrace that because what does it mean? Your sister Isn’t supposed to feel like your wife. So he is distant from her. He is reluctant to listen to her, he tries to assert his authority over her and his kingdom to get her to back off and to try to force her into a role she doesn’t want and he knows she can’t fit.

So they clash. They clash because Sansa can not be boxed in and Jon is confused about how he’s supposed to function with her. It’s too late for them to go back and make their relationship into something that it’s clearly not, into something that resembles a proper sibling relationship. Jon is forced to embrace it because if he doesn’t he will alienate her and hurt her, and he doesn’t want to do that, he cares too much about her and respects her too much to treat her that way. He’s also aware that he needs her just as much as she needs him and If they are going to make it together he needs to let go.

Episode 2 was Jon finally giving up his futile fight to keep his relationship Sansa in a place that he’s comfortable with, in a place that’s safe and not confusing and dangerous. He finally treats her like a partner, he asks for her advice, considers her opinions. He gives her what she needs, what she craves from him. He decides to be the man she needs, the man she’s been missing from her life all this time. It’s no coincidence that this culminates in him practically embracing her as his Queen publicly. I know her official title isn’t “Queen in the North” But symbolically that’s exactly what she is and most important it’s what she is to Jon. There is no one else in the North he would trust to run Winterfel and the North as he travels south. He leaves their Kingdom to her. He could have left it to anyone of those male Lords but he didn’t because Sansa is his partner, Sansa is the one who rules at his side and Sansa is the one who shall rule in his stead. When he announces that he’s going south his only real priority is Sansa. She was the one he wanted to understand, she was the one he wanted to support his risk to save her and everyone. She was the one whose fears and apprehensions he wanted to tame before he left. Sansa is the most important person in his life and the only opinion that truly mattered. Just like her affirmation was the only affirmation that truly mattered when he needed to break free is the stigma of being Ned Stark’s bastard, just like her affirmation is the affirmation he needed the most when he came to how he was doing as a leader, just like Sansa was the one who motivated him to become the leader that he is once again.

All roads lead back to Sansa for Jon which is why It was never even a question for him when he made his decision to leave. His kingdom belongs to his queen, Sansa Stark.

It’s going to be interesting because after this there is no going back for the two of them. Even if they never get romantic they will never be able to pretend they are just siblings. They will never play that role for each other.

I suspect that Jon knows this, which is why it’s no coincidence that Jon’s brewing confrontation with Littlefinger comes after he has finally embraced her role in his life and why Jon looses control and violently acts out aganist him when he tells him that he loves Sansa. His rage towards Littlefinger can can’t hide behind this tameness of “brother” since he’s officially shed that role. What we see instead is the rage of a King, a king who will not stand for anyone, especially someone like Littlefinger, breathing near his Queen.

Confession time.

When I was a kid and (admittedly) into my teenage years, I used to care a lot about being the “biggest” fan of something. My friend might like the same show as me but I’d be like “Oh, so you like Inuyasha? What about [obscure random fact/trivia]? Is your Inuyasha/Kagome fanfiction canon compliant, or do you just think it is because you haven’t read Volume 80 of the manga in the original Japanese yet?”

And like— speaking as an old salt when it comes to fandom— I’m here to tell you that life is short, people are generally good, and it does not effing matter how much you know, how much of the source material you’ve read/seen, how obsessive you are or how much merch you own. If you like a thing, and you are lucky enough to find someone else who likes the thing, then by god, like the thing together. Fandom isn’t a competition, and it’s so much more fun when we’re all cool to each other.

katy-l-wood  asked:

I think it stumbled into a rural-gothic novel this weekend without meaning to. It involved a possibly dead neighbor in the woods, an inability to get a hold of a single damn law enforcement official to ascertain actual deadness or not deadness, an endlessly barking dog that wouldn't leave its yard despite nothing keeping it there, and a traveling caravan of cowboys.

Ok is this a book or real life because you’re getting dangerously close to describing my weekend here.

It’s almost 1 year ago, to the minute. The greatest feeling in my life. Pure fire.

And it’s the reason I’ve debated never doing another full Ironman ever again.

I tossed around the grand idea of competing in two Ironmans next year, Mont-Tremblant and Texas, but the same thought keeps coming back to me: it will never top Lake Placid.

Long distance training of any type simply takes over people’s lives, and it’s something I don’t generally care for anymore. I busted my ass for so long to get to the Ironman finish line, 7 years to be exact, and ultimately conquered it. Maybe I’ll get the urge again in a couple years to tear shit up on the full course, but for the time being I’m just going to find other reasons to smile and be happy. 

I ran 4 miles today without my Garmin, listening to the playlist I made for the morning of LP last year, and it was the strongest I’ve felt on the run in a long time. It felt good to just run for the sake of running.

I’m not sure what this blog will become during this transition phase, but one thing that I know that’ll stay the same is my passion for being a smartass. That’ll never change!

it’s 90 degrees in my house i swear i have my ac on and the tiniest clothes i own and 2 fans blowing on me and im hugging my giant perrier but i’m melting. in other random no one cares news, if i post different sims than my usual family should i just post it here on my main or make a side blog? i know it’s not  big deal either way but it feels weird because i only post tavy and co. here ever so i’m like will it bother people to see different sims? do i care? did i leave my phone in the car? also something you might not know about me i’m a huge sci-fi fantasy nerd and probably only squischy remembers that one time 90 years ago when i posted elves on my blog the shame. and then i posted zombies and then outer space things and that random supernatural challenge i never even started, too. i was all over the place damns. but now i’m kind of bored and i just randomly made a new save one night and it’s like steampunk elves and ??? lmao why do i love elves >.>  anyways should i just post?? my blog is so boring right now like please and this new save has been fun for me (lmao ive played it like twice nice) so lfdsajkfsj *side crawls back into igloo*

Me: *Is tired, yawning, eye’s stinging* “I should go to bed”

My brain: *Laughs* “Guess again fuck face, here’s some words you should put down”

Me: “But I should really get some rest”

My brain: “I’m just gonna put these other ideas right here, don’t blame me if they are gone in the morning”

Me: *Gets out of bed* “I fucking hate you”

My brain: “Just for that I’m going to be blank tomorrow”

Me: “Then why did you do that today?”

My brain: …….

Me: ………