now repeat with some other person

Wanna Bet? II (M)

Rich Fuckboy!Jimin x Tutor!Reader

PART I | PART III

Warnings: SMUT…

Word Count: 2,240

Summary: After you teased Jimin, he’s looking for revenge…

A/N: This is my fic, just re-posting on my sideblog!


As soon as you stepped foot into your apartment you went to the bathroom and took a long, cold shower. While trying to calm down you were thinking why did that affect me so much? you hate that asshole. You thought about how Jimin looked at you when you walked out in the maid outfit, how you could hear his groans from across the room when you bent over, which made you wet all over again. You exited the shower and went straight to your room, not bothering to put your pyjamas on. You got on your bed and opened your bedside drawer, looking for your favourite toy. You grabbed your phone next, setting it on silent so you couldn’t be interrupted, and put it beside you.

You lay back on your bed and started to think about Jimin. The way he pushes his hair back with his hand, the way he licks his lips when he stares at you, the way his abs trail down to that v-line… You were soon a moaning mess. Your earlier thoughts about hating the asshole long gone, and you accepted your want for him.

You didn’t see your phone light up, not when your eyes were closed, head thrown back in pleasure as you neared your high. You also didn’t see your phone shift on the bed from your movements, landing near your ass. Too caught up in your release, you didn’t notice when you accidentally answered the call, allowing the person on the other end to hear you build up to your peak.

“Y/n? Hello? Can you hear me?”, the voice said, but you were too into your pleasure to notice, “Y/n, you forgot your-”

“Jimin!” you moaned out, your release at your fingertips as you played with yourself, moans increasing in volume the closer you were. The person on the other line was now silent, listening intently to you working yourself to orgasm. As you reached your climax, you repeated Jimin’s name like a prayer, thinking about his hands bringing you to your high instead of your own.

As you came down from your high, the person on the line hung up. You sat up, grabbing your phone to come up with some excuse as to why you can’t tutor Jimin tomorrow. You saw you had a received call from him. Curious, you went to call him back and you saw that the call lasted for five minutes. Looking at the time of the call, it was only a short while ago, which could only mean…

“Shit.”

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Imagine Chris admitting he’s still in-love with you.

A/N: Lol, what’s a hiatus? This is based on Ed Sheeran’s ‘Happier’ in his new album ‘Divide’. First of all, I’m in-love with that album. If you haven’t heard it, go listen to it right now. Actually, listen to the song while you’re reading this. I promise that it’ll trigger all the feels in the world. I know I usually write happy stuff, but this song is too good not to write to so- here’s a little bit of angst for y'all. (Relax, it ends sweet.) Grab some tissues. X

“Why are you doing this to yourself, man?”

“I just have to see her, Scott,” Chris mumbled into the phone; his brother sighed on the other end. “This month has been terrible and-” he cut himself off with a shake of his head. “I just have to see her,” he repeated. “She’s the one person I want to see right now.”

“And she’s the one person that doesn’t want to see you right now, Chris,” he painfully reminded Chris; this time is was Chris’ turn to sigh. “You broke her heart, the least you can do is let her move on in peace. Don’t go to that bar, turn around and go home. You’re not going to feel better seeing her happy with someone else, just go home.”

There was a short moment of silence where Chris stopped and thought about what Scott was telling him. He knew himself and he knew was going to the bar anyway, but he thought about it. “Do you think I’m ever going to happy again?” He heard himself ask; he was doubtful without you in his life, but he could use a lie.

“Yes,” Scott answered. “Now go home, Chris.”

Chris hung up and continued down 29th and Park, ignoring both Scott’s advice and the better part of him. He made his way towards Carlson’s Bar where he knew you’d be supporting your best friend’s band, just like any other typical Friday night. His heart ached when he remembered that just a month ago, he was the one you took with you to Spencer’s show and now it was Nick; a co-worker that’d wasted no time to claim the opportunity of a lifetime that Chris so carelessly tossed aside. It was his fault, Chris knew that. He’d done quite a bit to hurt you in the three years you were together, he had thought he’d a lifetime to make it up to you; he didn’t. As much as you loved him, you couldn’t spend your entire life waiting on him to commit.

Chris turned the corner and stopped dead in his tracks; his blue eyes well with tears when he saw you in another’s arms. He was expecting it, but nothing could have braced his heart for what he laid eyes on. You were smiling, brighter than he’d seen in a while. Nick tightened his grip on you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear to make you laugh because there was no sound better than your laughter. Chris remembered when he used to do that, he used to be able to make you happy. He didn’t know when or why he stopped, he just knew it was the biggest mistake of his life. If he could go back, he would change everything so you’d be with him looking as happy- if not, happier than you were right now with Nick.

“Stop,” you laughed, squirming away from Nick’s clean shaven nuzzles. You tried not to let your smile falter when your heart reminded you of how Chris’ beard felt against your skin when he playfully nuzzled you. “Let’s go inside, it’s freezing out here.”

“Okay,” Nick smiled and pulled away from you to take your gloved hand.

You smiled as Nick held the door open for you. He was perfect, but it didn’t stop your mind from thinking of your Friday nights with Chris. It was never that simple with him, he always found a way to postpone joining the crowd because he preferred one on one time with you. He’d purposely walk slower or pretended he left something in his car so you’d have to turn back, only to find out that what he left was a kiss. As you walked inside, you found yourself remembering the way Chris would counter your “let’s go inside, it’s freezing out here” with a tighter hug that would “keep you warm, sweetheart.”

The more you thought about Chris, the worst you felt about being with Nick. It’d only been a month since you broke things off with him, how could be with someone else already? You spent three years with the man, the least you could’ve done was wait a little longer before you started to move on. Though it wasn’t likely that you were ever going to move on with anyone; Chris had ruined you for other men. If he had just shut up and committed, instead of making excuses and stalling- you’d be with him right now. You liked Nick, but your feelings for him were never going to compare with what you felt- still felt, despite how broken he left you- for Chris. He was the one for you, just as you were for him; the sad thing was he didn’t realize it until you walked out the door.

“I’m going to go grab a drink,” Nick told you and you nodded. “Do you want anything?” You shook your head; the last thing you needed was alcohol in your system. “Okay, I’ll be right back.” He gently squeezed your arm then disappeared into the crowd.

You scanned the room for familiar faces; it was the same group every Friday night. Spencer’s and yours mutual friends, as well as his other group of friends and his co-workers. It was always a good night, but it wasn’t until the first Friday night without Chris that you realized it was only always a good night because of him. You felt your vision blur as your heart wrenched in your chest; you really needed to get out of there.

The cold outside felt more inviting than the warm, slightly easing the emotional grief you’d been carrying on your shoulders since you broke up with Chris. The past month had been incredibly difficult for the both of you. The experience was about the same, neither of you liked living by yourself after living with each other for the past two years. It felt like a punch to your gut when you’d wake up without him by your side; the apartment you were now living in felt like it was constantly trying to suffocate you with isolation and loneliness. Every day, you’d wake up wondering if leaving him was the right thing to do. A month had passed and you still didn’t know if you were happier now, or happier with him.

“Y/N,” you heard Chris’ voice and you flinched. You shook your head, not wanting to turn around because there was no- “Y/N,” his hand wrapped around your wrist and he turned you around; you swallowed the urge to start crying.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, yanking your wrist out of his grip. You knew you’d break if he continued to touch you, you’d just melt right back into his arms despite everything he’d put you through. “We said clean break,” you reminded him.

“No.” He shook his head, his pretty blues glistened under the flickering street lights. “You said clean break, I told you I didn’t want to break up.” You turned away from him, taking slow, deep breaths; he didn’t need to see you cry.

“You didn’t want to commit either,” you bit as you turned back to him. “We were together for three years, Chris. We lived together for two. But still, whenever you were asked- you couldn’t admit you were in a relationship. You went out and partied like a bachelor, traveling the world like you had no one waiting on you at home.”

“Y/N, it was part-”

“It’s part of your job,” you cut him off. “Yeah, I know. That was always the excuse, wasn’t it?” Tears rolled down your cheeks and you quickly wiped them away. “I didn’t know being an actor meant you couldn’t be a boyfriend- that you couldn’t be a husband. But I do now, so- thank you, I’ll know better next time than to fall in-love with an actor.”

“I was just trying to protect you-”

“From what?” You scoffed. “From the media, from your fans? Newsflash, Chris- I knew what I was getting into when Captain freakin’ America asked me out. I didn’t need protection, I needed you to be proud to be in a relationship. I stood by you through everything; your work schedule, the distance, the tabloids and the rumors because- I loved and trusted you. But I guess all that wasn’t enough to be able to be Chris Evans’ girlfriend. You say you were protecting me, but you were just protecting yourself from commitment.”

“I know,” he nodded, agreeing with you for the first time. “I was stupid,” he said, taking your hands in his. “I wasn’t ready to settle down. I thought if I kept it from the media then- it wouldn’t be real and if we ever broke up- I wouldn’t have to deal with it. I thought if I could just get through my Marvel contract then- I don’t know, Y/N! I don’t know what I was thinking, I just-” He started to cry, making you cry. “I made a mistake, I was an idiot who didn’t know any better. But I do now, I am so in-love with you and I can’t- I can’t do this without you.”

“Am I meant to just forgive you?” You didn’t pull your hands away because you’d missed his touch. “You broke my heart, Chris,” you told him and he nodded in acknowledgment. “Do you know how much it sucked hearing people talk about how I was in a relationship with a man who couldn’t even admit he was taken? Do you know how much it hurt to see you with a fan who thinks it’s okay to get touchy because you’re apparently single? Do you realize how many of my friends’ weddings we’ve attended in our three years together? I can’t keep waiting for you to commit, Chris. I don’t want to,” you shook your head.

“I know, I’m sorry- I’m so sorry, Y/N. I just- I know how much I’ve hurt you, but I also know that no one is going to love you as much as I do. I made a mistake, that’s all- and I’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Just-” he pulled you into a tight hug, burying his face into the crook of your neck. “Please,” he begged, crying. “Please let me.”

“I’m with Nick,” you cried softly, fighting the urge to just hug him back. It broke your heart to see him like this, and God- you just wanted to kiss his sorrows away. “I’m with someone else, Chris.” You repeated and he started crying harder, clutching onto you like you were his oxygen. “I can’t-” you gently pushed Chris away, “it’s not fair on him.”

“I know,” he whispered, wiping his tears away with the back of his hand. “And it’s not fair on you either, you deserve better than me.” You tried not to cry at that. “Are you happier with him?” He asked and cupped your face in his hands, gently brushing your tears away.

“Yes,” you lied with a nod.

“Okay,” he managed a smile. “Just know that- If he breaks your heart, I’m going to be waiting right here for you.” You nodded, crying softly as Chris pressed a kiss against your forehead. “I’ll see you, Y/N.” He said as he reluctantly pulled his hands away.

You closed your eyes as he walked off into the night because you knew you’d run after him if you watched him leave. You’d rather be with Chris, everyone- including Nick, who had watched the whole thing go down from the inside- knew that. So why didn’t you go with him? Why were you so stubborn? Why didn’t Chris stay and fight for you? Nick didn’t get it, none of your friends watching did. Then, it was as though a jolt of lightning went off in both yours and Chris’ brains. You opened your eyes and started towards his direction, just as he turned around and ran back towards you. You met halfway and shared an embrace that ended in a kiss so passionate and deep that on lookers blushed.

“I’m happier with you,” you whispered when Chris broke the kiss, pressing his forehead against yours.

“And I’m only happy with you,” he responded then kissed you again, smiling. “Come with me to the premiere of Gifted,” he told you. “We’ll walk the carpet together, we’ll announce our engagement.” You felt your eyes narrow at that, but you couldn’t wipe the smile off your face; it was finally happening. “Just let me show you off to the world, let me tell everyone I’m taken.”

“But we’re not engaged,” you chuckled softly.

“Not yet,” he smiled. “The ring’s at home so I can’t-”

“Yes,” you nodded and his smile widened. “Yes, I’ll marry you.” You told him and he hugged you tightly, breathing you in. The engagement was long overdue, he wished he’d done it earlier so he didn’t cause you as much grief as he did but- he was happy things ended the way it did.

“I’m never letting you go again.”

“Me neither,” you agreed, smiling.

rusame is such a healthy ship

they’re so equal. and so similar yet different in small ways. and they used to be best friends how fucking cute is that. and there’s angst but the angst is externally caused, it’s their bosses or their situations or, closer to home, politics or paranoia, but it’s never angst that would have happened if they’d just been regular people living regular lives and thus in terms of their relationship 95% of it can be overcome so easily in modern day because it doesn’t stem from themselves unlike lietpol’s angst

and like listen. when they like and trust each other, they BOTH like and trust each other. equally. when they distrust each other and have hate/sympathy/suspicion/some combination of the three, it’s not long before they BOTH feel that way. and when they’re rivals, they manage to stand against each other in every field as more-or-less equals, two scrappy kids giving it everything they’ve got with their separate levels of dedication and their separate advantages. and if as i like to think in modern day, they go back to trying to get to know each other again, understanding more and more, some kind of platonic/romantic love, they’re doing so equally. they’re both putting the same amount of love and effort and affection into the relationship and that’s so beautiful i just aaaahhhhhhhhh

and they’re so similar… they’re just at different points on the same curve of idealism->idealism tempered by harsh reality/ambition->corruption->repeat and they can understand each other especially now that there’s so much less to hide

and yet, they’re different, they present their ambitions and their affections differently, and russia remained in childhood too long, and america grew up too quickly, and they have different philosophies and different personalities and they’re different people, but they can understand each other and after all, they loved their differences before, they can love their differences again (especially, especially now when there’s so much less to hide, less now to not-talk-about than there was even when they were friends in the 1800s) and it just has the potential to be so good i can’t i ship them too much

Wanna Bet? II (M)

Rich Fuckboy!Jimin x Tutor!Reader

PART I | PART III

Warnings: SMUT…

Word Count: 2,240

Summary: After you teased Jimin, he’s looking for revenge…


As soon as you stepped foot into your apartment you went to the bathroom and took a long, cold shower. While trying to calm down you were thinking why did that affect me so much? you hate that asshole. You thought about how Jimin looked at you when you walked out in the maid outfit, how you could hear his groans from across the room when you bent over, which made you wet all over again. You exited the shower and went straight to your room, not bothering to put your pyjamas on. You got on your bed and opened your bedside drawer, looking for your favourite toy. You grabbed your phone next, setting it on silent so you couldn’t be interrupted, and put it beside you.

You lay back on your bed and started to think about Jimin. The way he pushes his hair back with his hand, the way he licks his lips when he stares at you, the way his abs trail down to that v-line… You were soon a moaning mess. Your earlier thoughts about hating the asshole long gone, and you accepted your want for him.

You didn’t see your phone light up, not when your eyes were closed, head thrown back in pleasure as you neared your high. You also didn’t see your phone shift on the bed from your movements, landing near your ass. Too caught up in your release, you didn’t notice when you accidentally answered the call, allowing the person on the other end to hear you build up to your peak.

“Y/n? Hello? Can you hear me?”, the voice said, but you were too into your pleasure to notice, “Y/n, you forgot your-”

“Jimin!” you moaned out, your release at your fingertips as you played with yourself, moans increasing in volume the closer you were. The person on the other line was now silent, listening intently to you working yourself to orgasm. As you reached your climax, you repeated Jimin’s name like a prayer, thinking about his hands bringing you to your high instead of your own.

As you came down from your high, the person on the line hung up. You sat up, grabbing your phone to come up with some excuse as to why you can’t tutor Jimin tomorrow. You saw you had a received call from him. Curious, you went to call him back and you saw that the call lasted for five minutes. Looking at the time of the call, it was only a short while ago, which could only mean…

“Shit.”

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anonymous asked:

prompt: buster has a ring on his finger and the cast is trying to find out what the ring is for

“Good morning, everyone!” Buster greeted, walking out in front of everybody.

Everyone could only groan in response, it was 5 in the morning after all. Earlier than Buster had ever called them to the theater before.

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maindancerbaekhyunie-deactivate  asked:

Um nsfw friends with benefits prompts or not even friends just two people wanting benefits yeah... Thanks, love your blog btw (/ε\*)

  • Person A and B having totally non-sex related conversation while going at it; complaining about school or work, telling the other about their life, asking what the other does, etc.
  • In the middle of sex: “I’m fucking starving.” “Same. Shall we get snacks after this?” “Yeah, what do you want?” “Popcorn, sour patch kids, chocolate—” “I WANTED SOUR PATCH KIDS TOO HIGH FIVE” “Ayyyyy”
  • Person A and B are making out when Person C - who doesn’t know they’re friends with benefits - walks in. Cue A and B deciding to simply tell the truth, but Person C has just found their new irl OTP and refuses to drop it. 
  • “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you sure do taste good.”
    “In what world could a person take that the wrong way?” 
    “…I’m so glad I picked you to be my friend with benefits.” 
    “Glad we could get that out the way. Now, shut up and get back to work.”
    “Yes, Sir/Ma’am/Other.”
  • Person A and B making a sex!bucket-list and then slowly crossing off all the items. Bonus points if they fight over logistics.
  • Person A meets Person B in a hotel/bar/club/other, and they end up having sex + some deep conversation. They don’t exchange names or say they’ll meet again, but a few weeks later A goes back to the same spot in the hopes of seeing B there. Miraculously, B is there, and the ritual repeats itself. This goes on for X amount of time, yet neither of them ever feeling the need to advance the relationship, finding it perfect as it is. 
  • “Just because we’re spooning doesn’t mean you can get any ideas.”
    “Oh, thank god, i was gonna say the same to you.”

These aren’t exactly nsfw so if anyone wants to add any that would be fab.

Nine

(This is hardcore angst. I See Dead People and Papa Stilinksi Not Handling Things The Right Way and Post Nogitsune and pre-Sterek angst. )

Not for the first time, Stiles wonders if he’s already dead.

To start with, it hasn’t been just one night, or a few days, or even a week; it’s been months since Stiles has slept like a normal human being. That fact alone has his mind wandering into ‘purgatory’ and 'maybe this is hell’ areas.

Because it’s 6AM on a school night, three days before Halloween, and he’s looking up the average amount of sleep a human needs to survive. What Stiles is finding is a whole slew of negative side effects from not sleeping that he’s pretty sure he’s already experienced, starting a few weeks ago. Twitchiness? Check. Irritability, slurred speech, blurred vision, memory loss, inability to concentrate, episodes of confusion, hallucinations, nausea, impotence, psychosis, and death?

Uuhh.

Well, at least the jury’s still out on that last one.

“You should get ready for school now,” Allison says, and yeah, that’s one of the symptoms talking to him. “It’s nearly seven.”

“I’m not going, anyway, so you can shut up,” he replies without turning around. Something about Allison being in his bed makes him feel sick. Just the thought of her sitting crossed legged and smiling softly at him like he didn’t just kill her months ago makes him queasy. She’d never sit on his bed like that if she were alive, but maybe that’s the point. Maybe she does it to make him feel uncomfortable, while reminding him about stupid shit like school.

He likes his other hallucinations better, they come with less nauseating guilt.

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For Your Convenience (Part 11)

Story Summary: To help you finally make a move on your long-time crush, you get assistance from your newly hired co-worker. (Retail/Department Store AU)

Word Count: 1,260

‘For Your Convenience’ Masterlist

A/N: Sorry about the length…again. I got carried away writing this one. I probably shouldn’t call this a drabble series anymore. 

Originally posted by 107th-infantry

“You’re back again?” Steve teased as you shook your head, grinning at him. 

“I can’t help the fact that people keep ordering shoes,” you argued playfully, walking pass him while he followed you in the stockroom. You made your way to the dress shoes section, skimming through each boxes. “I think I can find the shoes,” you mentioned, your eyes drifting over to him. “You don’t have to help me.” 

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Double Life (yoongi x reader)

Who said the hacker life was easy?

Request: yoongi - this banana is my lord and savior

a lot of things, 5.2k words, yoongi/reader, spy/hacker au


You look at the guy with growing concern as he rattles off his order. If you remember correctly, this is his second time at the cafe. Last time his order was normal. This time…well, not so much.

“…and to top it all off…do you have a banana? Like, just one plain banana?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Yeah, okay then. That’ll be it.”

“Okay, so let me confirm: three banana pancakes, a banana smoothie, two scoops of banana ice cream, a plate of fried banana, and one, plain banana?” you ask. That’s an ungodly amount of bananas. You wonder if he’s okay. On the other hand, at least he’s not going to be lacking in potassium.

He nods, firm. “Yup.”

“Uh, okay then.”

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anonymous asked:

what do you think about the referendum?

eeeh, even though the situation is objectively more dire, i feel better compared to last year, but that’s a personal experience, i know ppl making plans to leave, which at this point doesn’t feel like cowardice but still feels like defeat. 

last week, in a mail, i wrote:

“the problem seems to be that the “no” party has no promises other than being a last line of defense. for ex w gezi, ppl had 3 (i think) requests, some of which were fulfilled (that’s why the gezi park still exists now) but in this case, nothing. to not have a repeat of june 7, you know, bc then the sense is that if ppl vote “no”, it will just be more of the same. and if it’s “yes”, there’s talk of leaving. “

and also:

“it’s like what ellen wood said re: the universality of capitalism, you know ? the left has p much accepted the divine rule of erdo and so all their actions do nothing but provide an opposition that ends up strengthening him. he eats it all. but that is a general problem w the left, yes ? just different incarnations“

what those who don’t suffer from dermatillomania seem to have a really hard time with understanding is that… we are aware? i know i pick, bite, rip, i am very much aware? you don’t have to tell us about our behavior, we know about it. most of the time when you catch us doing it we are not doing it out of spite, we are relieving our nerves or anxiety. by making it the centre of attention of everyone around us, especially if they aren’t people we know in a not-so-relaxed setting, you aren’t helping. it’s making you uncomfortable? my scabs? my blood even? well, try having everyone’s attention on this one thing about you that you really aren’t proud of, that you’re extremely insecure about. have everyone’s attention on that one thing and then see the look on their faces change. have people look at you with their faces full of disgust over the one thing you’re extremely self-aware and conscious about. try hearing how it’s absolutely wild, disgusting, horrible, not normal. how you are vile for it. have people look at you completely differently than they did just seconds ago, the look in their eyes changing from oh, this is just another person that i am getting to know, to oh, i don’t even want to touch it. you aren’t even a person to them anymore, none of your other qualities matter. you’re now only the one thing you despise about yourself, nothing more. then sit there, having to listen to them going on and on and on about it, some analyzing it, some still repeating how disgusting it is, this time from smiling faces. people making jokes about it. but no one asking you what it really is, why you’re doing it, no one showing compassion. because they don’t see you as a person anymore. you become this source of entertainment and amusement, something “freaky” that they don’t always get to see that they’re now trying to take in, so they can tell about it to their friends later on, and have a laugh with them about it, again. become a disgusting little anecdote for future references. become a source of banter for your excoriation disorder, your ocd, your mental health issue. 

then see if you’re uncomfortable. we know we do it. you are not helping.

More about The Killing Joke: the touch

The issue of “touching” is remarkably visible in The Killing Joke. It has very literal, physical expression in Brian Bolland’s art.  Yet “the touch” can be also interpreted metaphorically - to indicate general contact. For example, it is present in the scene where Batman reaches out to the Joker and offers him help.

Being able to touch is naturally related to capability of being in a close relationship. Reaching is about entering relationship, touching can serve to maintain and preserve it.

The ability to stay in a deep, loving relationship obviously distinguishes Batman from the Joker. Batman may have difficulty in achieving intimacy and sustaining commitment, but he retained the basic ability to create a relationship with the other person. This is shown by an ability to touch – in a literal, physical way. He grabs “Joker’s” hand in an attempt to establish contact, holds Barbara to show his support and finally, he leans over the Joker in the final scene.

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‘Citrine’s pained screams barely pierced her ears, smothered by a sudden furious bellow that scared Sapphire to her knees. Like deafening white noise, cries swarmed from behind her, and the reinforcements threw themselves at the Vinotirans with savage force. Thick yellow blood burst into the air like wet confetti, and the nose-tentacles nearest her were split into ribbons. Sapphire watched the carnage from somewhere outside her body, numb. Red light caught her attention, burning through bodies like a solar flare. As flesh melted around it, she identified the thick arms and dark curls of a ruby, their face coated in yellow and grin feral. Terror had paralyzed her, but her vision was locked, and her brain repeated one stuttering thought: it’s you. ‘ 

I’m going on a tangent and drawing like a madwoman for rhinocio‘s fic series, this particular scene is from  Trust: A Trainee’s Manual on Wardrobe Malfunction and Personal Armory

BFI-Pre screening and why I know there must be more...

As promised, here’s what happened at the BFI pre-screening: Please read through the entire thing. I’m unfortunately going to have to give away a major spoiler to explain how I know there’s more. But first I need to give a bit of context so bear with me:

So, basically, Sherlock is still in a self-hypnotic trance on the TAB plane. (Remember how it actually ends in Victorian times? He’s not “awake” yet. This trance is not “EMP” even though it’s very similar. The process is based on the principles of Tibetan Buddhism that ACD Holmes spent 2 out of his 3 years learning during the hiatus. We know that our Sherlock was in Tibet too. The trance lets clues you didn’t even know you’d picked up on rise to the surface. The subconscious fills in the rest and connects  the dots. 


S4 is all in Sherlock’s subconscious so far. And it’s beautiful. You are privy to his inner thoughts, his heart, and his precious soul. 


It’s also a cypher for us viewers. Once you have the key, you can re-watch and try to piece all the clues that Sherlock had collected and didn’t even know he had. It’s euphoric to put it all together. And very touching too. You realize since none of S4 has happened, John never cheated. That whole scene we saw is Sherlock’s subconscious telling him that John has been emotionally cheating on Mary with Sherlock. That’s the person he texts constantly (look at the honeymoon blog!) Anyway, Sherlock is trying to figure out Moriaty’s return but his sub conscious shows us that the problem is inter-related to Mary, his childhood, John, and Moriarty.

That’s why I found TFP fascinating. It gives you a beautiful profile of his internal struggles with morality. 


I have to tell you this. Mary is not evil. Not at all. All will be explained.


Okay, here’s the BIG spoiler: Sherlock is the little girl on the plane

Yes, Sherlock is trans. 

And yes, Sherlock really is a" girl’s" name. That’s why sex alarms him. That’s why they repeatedly told us he’s not as tall as he looks. Also, in the cut scene from HLV, Magnussen talks about his women’s hands. There are many more little hints.

My soul was aching for him on that plane. I feel so much love for little Sherlock trapped in the airplane with everyone metaphorically asleep to his anguish.

Euros is Sherlock.

Sherlock is trans.

If you re-watch TFP in that context, it’s extremely touching. You’ll see that it was Mycroft who helped Sherlock. “SAVE MY SOUL MY BROTHER.”  I cried when I see Sherlock on the plane and all the adults asleep to his anguish. (sorry for repeating, poor soul. I love him so much.)

So, how was it confirmed? In 2014 I had hypothesized that perhaps Sherlock was trans due to the clues given above. I had dismissed the idea and replaced it with dissociative identity disorder. Read my LJ post from 2014 here: (add link)

Anyway, at the BFI pre-screening, I knew that Sherlock was still in a trance so I watched the episode in that context. It then became evident that my original hypothesis was right. I knew as soon as I saw him on the plane. 

When we were in line for autographs (with not much time for thinking). I wrote in my notebook “I know Sherlock is on the plane.” (Meaning both the metaphorical plane and the TAB plane). The “Sherlock crew” person read it and ‘smirked’ and replied “Which plane?” I think he was enjoying the wit of his question because it had now a triple meaning: Which plane are you talking about you silly fan? AND which plane; as in Young Sherlock Plane? or the TAB plane?). He was clearly amused by his own question to me. He repeated it three times (amused). I finally said, both planes. And the smile I received confirmed it. (Okay, something else was shared but I really don’t want to get the other Sherlock crew member in trouble).

I know some people are not going to believe me. Say that the exchange meant nothing. That the “Sherlock crew person” was literally just asking what the hell I meant by “I know Sherlock is on the plane”.  

But,whether or not you believe me, think about it: Doesn’t it make sense?

A) Hasn’t S4 been contradictory and plain weird in some scenes? 

B) Think of all the repeated sentences used in TAB/S4 that were exactly lifted from S1-S3. (That’s how the subconscious works, It’ll re-use sentences and faces to fill in the gaps.) I can post more about this with examples later.

B) Does TFP feel like the real ending. Wasn’t there so many impossible things in that episode?

C) If you take the fact that Sherlock is trans, and re-watch the episode, can you actually see it? (It’s so touching!)  

I’m not going to try to convince you, but please know that I wouldn’t post about this if I wasn’t sure. I am well aware what this means to the fandom. I know there are many hurting souls out there. Hope is a double-edged sword and I wouldn’t share any of this if I wasn’t positive because I know it could hurt people to get their hopes up. 

A special thank you to @welovethebeekeeper . She was a great help to me in trying to figure out what/how to share. She also listened carefully to what I had to say. *hugs*

Tough Love (Bias x Reader) Epiligue

Like, a year later


Food wakes you up. Just the way you like it. And just the way you like it to be prepared. You can’t help but laugh every time you see him in his apron, toned butt cheeks visible for the world to see. You resist squeezing them. Last time you did that and he almost dropped the pan and was flustered for like thirty minutes. 

Now you simply hug him instead, pressing your lips between his shoulder blades as you say, “Good morning,” and he kisses the side of your head, like he always does because his hands are usually tied. You’re currently living with him, not having a place to go back to as yet.

It’s been a month since you’ve came back. You were gone for eleven months and practically came back as a different person, speaking nearly three extra languages. News also unwillingly got to you that Sid would be doing a mere five years in prison. Amazing. 

You surprised B/N by arriving to the gym. You weren’t even sure if he would be single or interested when you returned. Him saying he loved you meant nothing with time and distance, especially how you two parted. But still, you wanted to see him. You could at least remain as friends. Yeah right.

You snuck up on him, tickling his sides, which was a big mistake on your part. He swung back and thanks to your developed reflexes, you narrowly missed his elbow to your face. He shakes off his alarmed expression when he recognizes you. He’s completely frozen and everyone in the gym is laughing at him. 

But he’s still staring at you, almost in disbelief. 

“I’m back,” you confirm and he pulls you against him, sweaty body and all. His hand cradles the back of your head while the other holds you against him. His face is against your neck and he still hasn’t said a word. You hold onto him tightly, unable to contain your happiness at him being glad to see you. 

His colleagues tell him to go into the locker room because he’s distracting everyone. His hand is over his mouth and you’re laughing at his expression as he stares at you, “Say something,” you bounce on the bench you’re sitting on.

“You look so beautiful,” he blurts out. Unexpected. You’re blushing.

“So do you,” and he most definitely did. His hair was shaved at the sides, some new trend that you weren’t here to witness. His body is still toned, if not more so, “Missed me?” he nods and pulls you against him again, “Because I missed you. Did you know-” 

He’s way ahead of you. He kisses you, taking in all he can since your departure. The same way he kissed you the first time, sending those same butterflies fluttering in your stomach like crazy. His hands lift you and you don’t cry out because there’s no need. No pain. 

The door opens and someone gasps. You peek to see a few of the students taking pictures. B/N doesn’t break away as he throws one of his gloves at them and they run outside, no doubt showing everyone. 

“Let’s go home now,” he says against your lips, “I’ll have someone else lock up,” 

You nod, biting your lip, “Okay,” and with that you’re gone, the entire gym whistling as you both leave. That was your welcoming gift, among other things. 

Now you’ve finished eating the breakfast he prepared, you both back in bed. You made a scrapbook of your time away and he listens to you explain each picture, person, and event with keen interest. You’re laying between his legs, the scrapbook in your lap. His chin is on your shoulder as he asks questions, his fingers lightly trailing over your stomach. You teach him some words in the languages you’ve learned and he tries his hardest to repeat them.

You put the scrapbook away and pull his arms around you. But then you want to see him so you sit in his lap, facing him. You’re restless, but he’s quite relaxed. He trails your face with his fingertips, sending shivers down your spine. You close your eyes at his touch and his hands move against the back of your neck. He’s rubbing all the spots in your shoulders that are sore since you’ve been back to the gym. 

You move your neck to the side and point to the part he’s missing. He massages it and it feels so good that you audibly let him know that he’s doing well by moaning and embarrassing yourself. 

“It’s just a massage. You make it seem as if I’m doing something else,” he’s teasing you, knowing you still get shy around him. Almost a year away did nothing to diminish your feelings for him. If anything they grew stronger.

You fall on the pillow, pressing your face into it to mask your mortification, “Shut up,” your voice is muffled. That’s when you feel his fingers walking up the back of your leg before smoothing his hands up to your waist. He presses his thumbs into your skin, applying pressure to all the right places. 

“Are you trying to put me to sleep?” you mumble. He presses his lips behind your ear and over your shoulders, hands warm on your back. And just when you’re enjoying it, he stops.

“Actually, I’m tired myself,” He falls next to you and closes his eyes. 

You sit up, “Are you really going back to bed at eleven in the morning?” he hums in reply. You watch him as he lays on his back, slowly poking his cheek. He doesn’t react. You flick at his ear, but he keeps ignoring you. Or maybe he did fall asleep. You move your finger down his lips to his Adam’s apple, over his bare chest and to his belly button. You’re about to go lower when he turns to you, squinting at you for pestering him. 

“What?” you ask with an innocent shrug.

He puts his arms around you, pulling you on top of him, “Let’s go back to sleep,”

“But I don’t want to sleep,” you whine. His fingertips move over your back, lightly caressing your skin. You sigh, guessing he’s really tired, and also because it feels so good. Defeated, you pull the blanket over you both, considering you’re laying horizontally on the bed and the covers won’t stretch that far. You lay your head on his chest, his heart beating strong against your ear.

You make sure he’s covered up as you snuggle against him some more. Slowly, his fingers draw odd shapes on your back, “I love you,” he mumbles. You smile to yourself because you already know. 

“I love you,” you tell him, and he holds you closer because he already knows too.


And that is it my reader babies, thank you for sticking around ^-^

anonymous asked:

❝ you saw the messed up parts of me, & stayed. ❞ - @macaoni-and-cheese

@macaoni-and-cheese

–“ Of course. she
mumbled, her hand
drifting to his
shoulder.
She knew what it was
like, to show off
vulnerable
parts that were kept under

lock and key, afraid the other
person would run
away with
the words and
betray her.
“ Of course, she repeated,
a
gentle smile on her face now,
as her hand
gripped his shoulder 
“ I wouldn’t dare to leave you
because some parts of you
are
worse than the ones you
show. That’s how everyone is,
and you’re
a pretty awesome
person either way

“The Cadence of a Young Man’s Eyes (out where the dreams are high)

Summary: Yona is sixteen when she and her father accidentally cross the border into the world of the spirits. When he is taken from her abruptly, she finds herself alone in an unfriendly world; but there are certain meetings that are fated from the start, and Yona is saved by a boy with eyes the color of memory.

Hakyona Spirited Away AU.

When she was very, very young, Yona fell into a river.

She still dreams about it sometimes. The memories have faded, lost their luster and their potency, but, when she sleeps, she can remember the way the water felt, weighing on her shoulders and filling her lungs. What sunlight looked like, filtering through the waves above her head, golden and delicate, like galaxies and summertime and diamond dust.

She remembers a hand, closing around her own, warm and gentle and strong. Blue eyes, refracting the light, a thousand different shades of midnight-noontime-cobalt. A voice, low and soft, like the murmuring of the river, the rumble of a waterfall.

“Hold still, Princess.”

She remembers fingers brushing tears off her face, gentler than the water. Gentler than words.

“I said, quit squirming. I’ll protect you.”

Yona should’ve drowned that day, in a winding river whose name she cannot recall. She should’ve died, gasping for breath, silt and mud and brine claiming her as their own.

But she didn’t die. She lived, and so she grows. She goes to school, makes friends. Her father pampers her. Her teachers call her “bright but naive.” Eventually, she begins to wonder if maybe it never happened at all. Maybe there never was a river, never a near-death experience, never a blue-eyed, soft-voiced savior.

Years pass. Time ticks forward, on and on. tempus edax rerum. In the blink of an eye, Yona is sixteen, and now even the dreams have faded.

It isn’t until she and her father get lost in the woods on the way to their new home that she thinks about the river again.

Keep reading

4/4 Hurt

Requested: Yes or No

Anonymous: can you write a 4/4 where you guys are in a fight and he accidentally hits you?

A/N This is a warning for violence and if you are suffering from abuse or anything please talk to me

Calum:

“Why can’t I spend more than 5 minutes with you anymore?!” i yell at Calum feeling tears well up in my eyes. “Why can’t you stop being a bitch for more than 5 minutes?!” he yells back stepping closer than before. This has been going on for awhile, us fighting, me balling my eyes to sleep and him coming back the next day hung over from Luke’s or Michael’s house.

I wanted to scream until my lungs hurt and would burst while my eyes made a waterfall down my chin soaking my shirt. “ Why can’t you love me like you use to?” I wanted to scram but it came out a hiccup whisper. That’s what set him off.

He grabs my throat in his bare hands forcefully pushing me against the wall “ How could you not think I don’t love you?! If i didn’t you would be on the streets with no family since you left them for me.” He spits as i gasp slapping his hand to get air.  “Pl-ease” i cry “let g-go” i wease out “Yo-u’re hu-rti-ng m-me.”

He gasp, the clouds in his eyes now gone and is now filled with sadness and disappointment. He lets go and runs a hand though his hair as i catch my breath rubbing my throat. As I realized am free I take a chance to run up the stairs but is stopped by his hand on my wrist, “please don’t leave me, it was a mistake” he cry's “what part; calling em a bitch, saying i have no one or physically hurting me?” i whisper not trusting my voice to go how while i am crying and from being blocked by air for more than 10 seconds.

“All of it, you know I would never hurt you.” he begs and crys harder. “Well it looks like you just did.” i say getting out of his grasp running up the stairs and locking the bedroom door sliding down pushing my knees to my chest crying harder when I hear him punch a wall making the apartment vibrate.

Luke:

“Why are you always with her?” I whisper yell not wanting to wake my prince upstairs. “When will you stop complaining?’ he spits back venom in his voice not caring to wake up he’s son who was only 3 weeks old and  barely got to see his own dad.

“When I know why you’re always with her!” I cry rubbing my eyes so he can’t see me cry, which fails. “why do you always cry? i want a getaway from here, is that so bad?” he yells “ will you just stop yelling? i don’t want to wake up Jasper”. 

“you’re not my mom y/n, I can do whatever i want.” he says with hes dark blue eyes which are suppose to be a sky blue filled with happiness. “I never said i was and actually if you just want a getaway from us, then at least tell me so i know to pack mine and Jasper’s things to get out of your hair” I cry not caring anymore.

 “Not like you love us anymore anyways, you clearly don’t show it with hanging with her probably cheating, getting drunk all the time, coming home at 6 in the morning then leaving an hour later. you never talk to me, never hang or take care of Jas.” “I thought when the man stayed while his girlfriend was pregnant, that meant he was there to care of them both not have lame excuses to ‘getaway’.” 

He smacked me. The love of my life laid a hand on me, something he promised never to do. “y/n..” he whispers realizing what he just did. “No stop” I say waving my hand telling him not to come closer “you’ve done enough, i’m leaving after I pack my things along with jasper’s and then you’ll have this place to yourself with her. just please don’t touch or call or text me ever again.” i whisper and cry as i hear a cry coming upstairs. “Goodbye Luke” I walked up the stairs closing the door to Jasper’s room leaving Luke to himself downstairs.

Michael:

I laid on the couch, once again waiting for Michael’s arrival from a night out with the boys. I look through twitter seeing pictures of him and the boys and smiling at his smile. It drops when I see a picture of him with another girl wrapped up in each other. I close out the app after typing out a tweet saying “Liar”.

I put my phone on the coffee table and paying attention to my favorite show _Friends. _I smile and giggle but it quickly stops when I hear keys jiggly and the front door to our apartment opens. I shut my eyes acting like I was sleeping. I hear footsteps go to our room then quickly come out walking to the living room and stopping when he stops me.

He walks over shutting the tv off and moving pieces of my hair out of my face leaning down kissing my cheek, like he always. I lightly stir at the action and he stops for a few seconds before picking me up and walking to our room, laying me down on the bed and walking to our closet to change his clothes into a new clean pair of boxers. He lays down and wraps an arm around my waist, which i immediately move and i curse as he now knows I am not asleep.

“So which one of us is the liar?” he grumbles sitting up and turning on the lamp beside him. I sigh and close my eyes “can you stop, I don’t want to deal with this right now.” I say and rub my eyes. “When can you tell me what i did wrong this time?” “Michael stop” i sigh pulling my bangs behind my ear. “No tell me” he eggs on and i groan “ The pictures” “what pictures?” “of you and her”.

“Are you accusing me of cheating?” he yells standing up now “ honestly, yes because when you see your boyfriend hugging another girl with his face almost devouring her breasts. so yes I am and-” i get cut off by a smack to my face. I close my eyes and open them letting tears fall down my face “did you just hit me?” i cry and look at him, who has a shock face looking between me and his hand. “DID YOU JUST HIT ME?” i repeat full on crying now with hiccups here and there.

“I didn’t mean it, is wear baby” “you don’t have a right to call me that after what you just did.” i whisper “ goodbye Michael, i’ll be back to get my things whenever.” i say walking out the bedroom grabbing some shoes, my keys and walking out the door leaving my heart in there with the one person I didn’t knwo anymore.

Ashton:

Originally posted by staliagarbage

We yelled and screamed till our lungs and chest hurt. We called each other names and moved closer to each other probably waking the neighborhood. We fought, like normal couples and had hot make up sex right after, but that wasn’t the case tonight. We would not be having sex, we would not make up tonight or maybe any night at all.

He did the one thing he promised not to do, he hit me. We promised to each other that none of us would ever get physical but he did. I don’t think I’ve ever cried in my life this hard before. Th love of my life had broken yet another promise he said he would keep.

I grab my cheek looking at him and seeing the tears cloud his eyes “ y/n baby i am so sorry-” i laughed and continued crying “ no you’re not, cause if you were, you wouldn’t have done what you juts did and break another one of your stupid promises.” I cry harder. “ I didn’t mean to y/n please believe it was just a reaction” he pleads “I can’t” i say backing up towards the door grabbing my keys and phone.

“i’ll be back tomorrow for my things.” i say shutting the door.

“I love you.” he whispers at the same time i close the door and finally lets the tears and sobs out.

A/N Not that it took me almost two hours to think and write lol but I hoped you enjoyed this and if you want another part, just message or inbox me and remember to please talk to someone if you are getting abused or have seen abused.

What Is a Dissociative Disorder?

Copyright 2010 Sidran Traumatic Stress Institute

Introduction
Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) (known in the past as Multiple Personality Disorder-MPD) and other Dissociative Disorders are now understood to be fairly common effects of severe trauma in early childhood. The most common cause is extreme, repeated physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse.

There is a great deal of overlap of symptoms and experiences among the several Dissociative Disorders, including DID. Some people who may not qualify for a specific diagnosis may, nevertheless, have problems with dissociation. For ease of reading, we use “Dissociative Disorders” as a general term for all of the diagnoses. Individuals should seek help from qualified mental health providers to answer questions about their own particular circumstances and diagnoses.

Q: Is DID the same as MPD?
n 1994, the American Psychiatric Association’s manual that classifies and describes all psychiatric diagnoses changed the name from Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD) to Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). They felt this better reflected the current professional understanding of the disorder, based on significant recent research.

Q: What Does Trauma Have to Do with DID?
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a trauma-related mental illness affecting 8% of Americans. PTSD is closely related to Dissociative Disorders. In fact, most people with a Dissociative Disorder also have PTSD. The cost of trauma disorders is extremely high to individuals, families, and society. Recent research suggests that people with trauma disorders may attempt suicide more often than people who have major depression. Research also shows that people with trauma disorders have more serious medical illnesses, substance use, and self-harming behaviors.

Q: What Is Dissociation?
Dissociation is a disconnection between a person’s thoughts, memories, feelings, actions, or sense of who he or she is. This is a normal process that everyone has experienced. Examples of mild, common dissociation include daydreaming, highway hypnosis, or “getting lost” in a book or movie, all of which involve “losing touch” with awareness of one’s immediate surroundings.

Q: When Is Dissociation Helpful?
During a traumatic experience such as an accident, disaster, or crime victimization, dissociation can help a person tolerate what might otherwise be too difficult to bear. In situations like these, a person may dissociate the memory of the place, circumstances, or feelings about of the overwhelming event, mentally escaping from the fear, pain, and horror. This may make it difficult to later remember the details of the experience, as reported by many disaster and accident survivors.

Q: What is a Dissociative Disorder?
Tragically, ongoing traumatic conditions such as abuse, community violence, war, or painful medical procedures are not one-time events.   For people repeatedly exposed to these experiences, especially in childhood, dissociation is an extremely effective coping “skill.” However, it can become a double-edged sword. It can protect them from awareness of the pain in the short-run, but a person who dissociates often may find in the long-run his or her sense of personal history and identity is affected. For some people, dissociation is so frequent it results in serious pathology, relationship difficulties, and inability to function, especially when under stress.

Q: Who Gets Dissociative Disorders?
As many as 99% of people who develop Dissociative Disorders have documented histories of repetitive, overwhelming, and often life-threatening trauma at a sensitive developmental stage of childhood (usually before the age of nine). They may also have inherited a biological predisposition for dissociation. In our culture, the most frequent cause of Dissociative Disorders is extreme physical, emotional, and sexual abuse in childhood. Survivors of other kinds of childhood trauma (such as natural disasters, invasive medical procedures, war, kidnapping, and torture) have also reacted by developing Dissociative Disorders.

Q: Is DID a Major Mental Health Problem?
Current research shows that DID may affect 1% of the general population and as many as 5-20% of people in psychiatric hospitals. The rates are even higher among sexual-abuse survivors and addicts. These statistics put Dissociative Disorders in the same category as schizophrenia, depression, and anxiety, as one of the four major mental health problems today.

Q: Does DID Affect Both Women and Men?
Most current literature shows that Dissociative Disorders are recognized primarily among women. The latest research, however, indicates that the disorders may be equally prevalent (but less frequently diagnosed) among men. Men with Dissociative Disorders are most likely to be in treatment for other mental illnesses or drug and alcohol abuse, or they may be incarcerated.

Q: How Does a Dissociative Disorder Develop?
When faced with an overwhelming situation from which there is no physical escape, a child may learn to “go away” in his or her head. Children typically use this ability as a defense against physical and emotional pain, or fear of that pain. By dissociating, thoughts, feelings, memories, and perceptions of the trauma can be separated off in the mind.  This allows the child to function normally. This often happens when no parent or trusted adult is available to stop the hurt, soothe, and care for the child at the time of traumatic crisis. The parent/caregiver may be the source of the trauma, may neglect the child’s needs, may be a co-victim, or may be unaware of the situation.

Q: How Do Dissociative Disorders Help People Survive?
Dissociative Disorders are often called a self-protection or survival technique because they allow individuals to endure “hopeless” circumstances and preserve some healthy functioning. For a child who has been repeatedly physically and sexually assaulted, however, dissociation becomes a reinforced and conditioned defense.

Q: If It’s a Survival Technique, What’s the Down Side?
Because it is so effective, children who are very practiced at dissociating may automatically use it whenever they feel threatened–even if the anxiety-producing situation is not extreme or abusive. Even after the traumatic circumstances are long past, the left-over pattern of defensive dissociation sometimes remains into adulthood. Habitual defensive dissociation may lead to serious dysfunction in school, work, social, and daily activities.

Q: How Do the Identities of DID Develop?
Until about the age of eight or nine years, children are developmentally primed for fantasy play, such as when they create and interact with imaginary “friends.” When under extreme stress, young children may call on this special ability to develop a “character” or “role” into which they can escape when feeling threatened. One therapist described this as nothing more than a little girl imagining herself on a swing in the sunshine instead of at the hands of her abuser. Repeated dissociation can result in a series of separate entities, or mental states, which may eventually take on identities of their own. These entities can become the internal “personality states” of DID. Changing between these states of consciousness is often described as “switching.”

Q: Do People Actually Have “Multiple Personalities”?
Yes, and no. One of the reasons for the decision to change the disorder’s name from MPD to DID is that “multiple personalities” is a misleading term. A person with DID feels as if she has within her two or more entities, each with its own way of thinking and remembering about herself and her life. These entities previously were often called “personalities,” even though the term did not accurately reflect the common definition of the word. Other terms often used by therapists and survivors to describe these entities are: “alternate personalities,” “alters,” “parts,” “states of consciousness,” “ego states,” and “identities.” It is important to keep in mind that although these alternate states may feel or appear to be very different, they are all manifestations of a single, whole person.

Q: Is it Obvious when a Person Switches Personalities?
Unlike popular portrayals of dissociation in books and movies, most people with Dissociative Disorders work hard to hide their dissociation. They can often function so well, especially under controlled circumstances, that family members, coworkers, neighbors, and others with whom they interact daily may not know that they are chronically dissociative.  People with Dissociative Disorders can hold highly responsible jobs, contributing to society in a variety of professions, the arts, and public service.

Q:  What Are the Symptoms of a Dissociative Disorder?
People with Dissociative Disorders may experience any of the following: depression, mood swings, suicidal thoughts or attempts, sleep disorders (insomnia, night terrors, and sleep walking), panic attacks and phobias (flashbacks, reactions to reminders of the trauma), alcohol and drug abuse, compulsions and rituals, psychotic-like symptoms, and eating disorders. In addition, individuals can experience headaches, amnesias, time loss, trances, and “out-of-body experiences.” Some people with Dissociative Disorders have a tendency toward self-persecution, self-sabotage, and even violence (both self-inflicted and outwardly directed).

Q: Why Are Dissociative Disorders Often Misdiagnosed?
Dissociative Disorders survivors often spend years living with the wrong diagnosis. They change from therapist to therapist and from medication to medication, getting treatment for symptoms but making little or no actual progress. Research shows that people with Dissociative Disorders spend an average of seven years in the mental health system before getting the correct diagnosis. This is common because the symptoms that drive a person with a Dissociative Disorder to treatment are very similar to those of many other psychiatric diagnoses.

Q: What Are Some Common Misdiagnoses?
Common misdiagnoses include attention deficit disorder (especially among children), because of difficulties in concentration and memory; bipolar disorder, because “switching” can look like rapid-cycling mood swings; schizophrenia or psychoses, because flashbacks can cause auditory and visual hallucinations; and addictions, because alcohol and drugs are frequently used to self medicate or to numb the psychic pain.

Q: What Other Mental Health Problems Are People with DID Likely to Have?
In addition, people with Dissociative Disorders can have other diagnosable mental health problems at the same time. Typically these include depression, post traumatic stress disorder, panic attacks, obsessive compulsive symptoms, phobias, and self-harming behavior such as cutting, eating disorders, and high-risk sexual behaviors. Although they may get expert treatment for the more common secondary issue, if the dissociative disorder is not addressed, recovery is generally short lived.

Q: Where Can I Get More Information?
Sidran Institute. At Sidran, we help people understand, recover from, and treat dissociative and traumatic stress conditions. We are a national nonprofit organization and one of the nation’s leading providers of traumatic stress education, publications, and resources. Sidran is dedicated to helping people with traumatic stress conditions, providing education and training on treating and managing traumatic stress, and informing the public on issues related to traumatic stress. Sidran Institute Press, our publishing division, is a leading publisher of books about trauma and dissociation.