now receiving slaps in the face thanks

Jikook: Insight

Title: Insight

Summary: /On-going/ Jikook/ In which Jeon Jungkook was introduced to the world of shipping and fan analysis.

“Jimin-hyung, do you think I stare at you too much?”

Author: Beya

Notes: This was supposed to be a one-shot but I think we all want that slow burn fanfiction where we see the characters understand themselves as the events unfold. I’ve been looking for a story that would tackle JK’s reaction should he discover the world of fan analysis (i.e. real clips of him instead of made-up stories over the internet). Did I mention I’m new to the fandom? Anyway, I wasn’t able to find one so I came up with my own lol

Would encourage you to watch Nochuchimchim/ Yutensol90’s YT videos (Reason why I ship Jikook series). It inspired me to write this fic. The fan videos mentioned in this story are all hers.  

Chapter 1 under cut

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

hey how come you don't requests? A lot of other artists do it and you know you can get more followers that way. Also, take commissions why don't you? you should really consider that. Your potentials are wasted if you don't try to see what others like or want from you.

Excuse me.


I’m sorry but… I don’t get offended by things like this but this just draws the line. I was staring at this message, reading it to make sure it isn’t downright horrible. Please, I hope that’s wrongly worded or you didn’t mean to sound so… Hateful.

I don’t even know where to begin. Oh my god. What did I ever do? I’m sorry. Did I offend anyone by not taking requests? I’m really sorry if I sounded rude or if I sounded like I rejected you in any form.
I’m sorry… But I promised myself that I will NEVER take requests. I’ve always kept it all in but it had to be brought up.
Forgive me… I just want to let this out of my chest.

I DON’T EVER want to take requests because I DON’T WANT TO. SIMPLE AS THAT. People have taken advantage of me! I used to be so naive, I wanted others to be happy but I didn’t enjoy it. I LIED TO MYSELF that maybe I will. I tried. I DIDN’T.
I remember a long time ago, people kept sending me requests of things I didn’t even like to draw. Guess I was too nice but now that you mentioned it, I realized that that was very dumb of me. I got over it… Also because I didn’t have enough time to draw that much for others. I had to attend to school. Things got more difficult as time passed by. As much as I LOVE drawing, I had to prioritize high school and all that. Now that I look at it, THANK YOU, SCHOOL for giving me better things to do!

Along with requests are ART TRADES. I thought it was nice, it was fun, it was a great way to make friends! BUT I learned the HARD way. Again, I was taken advantage of. I always ALWAYS did my side of the trade with so much effort because I WANTED to make my trade partner happy. I apologize for not doing it quickly some times or I get delayed with it BUT I STILL MADE IT.
But what do I get? People make half-assed things. I’M SORRY. Call me ungrateful but it just hurts me. It makes me so upset. I hate pretending that I like it. I hate seeing how my trade partner was lazy because I KNOW THEY CAN DO SO MUCH MORE. It makes me sad to think that just because we’re “friends” you can just be half-assed about it? Oh my gosh. I’m really sorry. 


I’ve been told and warned again and again that it’s true that there really are just some people out there who follow/watch you because THEY HOPE they can get something FREE from you. THERE. I SAID IT. I tried denying it. I didn’t want to think that. I told myself that people really do love my works and I know they stay because I know they’ll see that I’ll improve and my works make them happy.
But I had to be hit on the head THE HARD WAY. Reality bites. It’s the truth. And it just hurts.

Look at me… Who am I talking about such drama. I heard of what I was told that people really use people and when your purpose is fulfilled, they’ll just leave you and come back once they need you again. I HEARD BUT DIDN’T LISTEN. Now, thanks to this… I feel like I’m slapped with a dictionary sized book to the face which says: “THIS IS REALITY, LITTLE GIRL. WAKE. UP!!!”

And now the commission part…

People have always asked me why… I kept giving excuses. There. I admit. It is true though that I don’t know how to receive modes of online payment and it’s complicated. But I tell others, I don’t have the time and all that. Truth is, I don’t want to. I don’t like being tied down not because I like doing WHAT I WANT but I was just so traumatized by some commissioners. I felt like I was not given artistic freedom. I tried giving my thoughts, my suggestions, but the commissioner kept telling me “No. You do this and that.” But the suggestions LOOK SO AWFUL. I dislike having BAD ANATOMY. I hate it when characters are not in character. I hate it when I don’t get to have a say at least.

I AM NOT A MACHINE. You cannot just input commands and expect me to follow them! I know you’re exerting your rights as commissioner and I was paid to do so but you forgot that I also have ideas, thoughts, and I also want to make it a COLLABORATIVE EFFORT. 

I couldn’t be teary eyed or angry at this. I’m just really really really confused.

I’m sorry but why… Just WHY would you tell me that my potentials are WASTED? I don’t understand. Why?

Is drawing what I love and want to share with others wasting? Is not following what everyone asks of me wasting?

I love drawing whatever I want. I love it when others love the fact that I draw what I love. I love drawing because I get to express myself more and it’s the best way I can. I get inspired from so many amazing artists. I like to hear what others love about my works so much I try my best in applying them in any way. I am also very unsure how you define “listening or seeing” what others want from me… I don’t want to dictate it for you but to me it looks like I have to take requests.

I DRAW NEVER BECAUSE OF ATTENTION. BUT I DRAW BECAUSE I JUST LOVE IT. I love hearing how my works put a smile on others’ faces. I love hearing that they’re inspired or they laughed because of what I made. I LOVE drawing for my friends because it’s the best way for me to show that I love and care for them and I also understand how much they love certain things… But if those are things THAT WOULD WASTE MY POTENTIALS. Then I don’t know anymore.

I’m sorry.

No one has ever told me this before. But friends over at FB told me that maybe it really is just the way it was said. You can’t really tell what the other is saying through the internet because you can’t hear or see how they said it. And I agree with what they said about… “The more you’re told, the more you’ll be uninclined to do things.”

I’m sorry. I’ve been keeping this all in for years.

This will be the LAST TIME I will EVER react like this.

Thank you for listening and I’m sorry if I sounded so bad. I don’t mean to offend anyone. 

Thank you for those who stuck with me…

(til the end of the line. EHE. *SHOT* )

Now… My reaction in gif form.