A/N: The GIF may or may not be irrelevant, but I couldn’t possibly use a serious GIF for drunk Altair, could I? Of course not! I hope you enjoy, Anon!
It was almost surreal to see Altair, Master Assassin of the Levantine Assassins, so drunk he could only barely stand.
You were watching him from what you deemed to be a “Safe” distance from him, confusion and bubbles of both mild amusement and secondhand embarrassment all floating around inside you. Altair was stumbling around, and even from where you stood, you could hear his incomprehensible murmurs. People were going out of their way to avoid him, shooting strange glances at him. Deciding it was best to get him somewhere he wouldn’t make people associate his current state with the Assassins, you began heading toward him, sighing.
Reaching out, you gently touched Altair’s shoulder. Wrong move. Suddenly you were on your back in a heartbeat.
“Don’t touch me- wait, Y/N?”
You groaned a little, “Well, whoever said you lost the ability to coordinate body movements when you’re drunk clearly hasn’t met you.”
Altair leaned over you, “What? I can’t hear you.”
You stood up, brushing the dust off of your uniform, “Let’s just go back to Masyaf, alright? At least there you can’t create as much of a disturbance.”
You slowly put your arm around Altair’s shoulder, and this time you didn’t end up on your back (Thank goodness). You began trying to lead him to the horse stables, keeping your head down as you did so. Altair hardly walked, and his feet kept dragging in the dirt. It became increasingly more difficult to drag him back home as Altair began shouting meaningless things at passersby.
“The Apple is evil! It corrupted my old Mentor!” He shouted. A man who was coincidentally eating an apple immediately dropped it, his face paling slightly.
“Altair, stop shouting. Just-”
“The world must not suffer ignorance anymore!”
“These people are living lies, Y/N! Lies!”
“Altair, you’re making a scene.”
Altair began rambling on about horses and why they had such long faces.
“And to think you’re a legendary assassin…”
By some miracle, you finally made it to the stables. Horses whinnied quietly as you attempted to put your drunken companion on a dark brown horse. Altair was rambling about Malik and how he was “all right now”. Eventually he was sitting on top of the horse, grumbling incoherently. You climbed on the same horse (You could barely trust him to walk on his own, let alone ride a horse!) and took the reigns. Praying that Altair wouldn’t fall off, you urged the horse to an even walk. Altair jolted forward, thrown off balance by even the slightest change in motion. His arms wrapped around your waist as he told you to slow down. “Altair, if I slow down any more, we will be standing still.” “You call this horse riding? You’re so reckless!” “No, you’re just drunk and unbalanced.” “False!”
You rolled your eyes. Masyaf seemed so far away…
The ride itself was uneventful, although Altair did sometimes murmur strange thoughts every so often. Something about a woman named Maria…
“Ah, Y/N, welcome back- Is that… Mentor?”
A young Assassin looked on with wide eyes as you hopped off your horse. Altair more-or-less slid off, seeing as he was still holding onto you (“Don’t start and stop so quick, Y/N!”). You looked at the apprentice with annoyed but patient eyes, “He’s… had a rough day. Don’t concern yourself.”
The apprentice nodded and quickly left, leaving you to tend to Mr. Clingy McDrunk, who was slowly sliding to the ground, his arms wrapped around your calves.
“Altair, please. Just a few more steps and you can sleep this whole thing off. How did you even get this drunk in the first place?”
Altair looked up at you as if he was going to give you a straight answer, but then just pointed at you with a limp finger and said “Alcohol” before passing out.
Dragging him- literally- all the way back to his quarters was by far one of the most embarrassing things you’ve ever had to do, and you weren’t even the drunk one. Perhaps that was WHY you were so embarrassed. You passed by many assassins who looked at you with such judgmental confusion that you just pulled your hood down further and hoped nobody else would recognize you halfway to his room.
Once you reached Altair’s quarters, you hefted him onto his bed and sat down on the side with a tired huff. “Remind me to never again let you drink. At least, not anywhere far away. I’m not doing that again.”
Altair, in his alcohol-induced sleep, was already snoring softly. He looked like a mess. You decided it was best to just let him lie undisturbed. You pulled the covers over him and left. You just hoped his inevitable hangover in the morning was easier to handle.
((This is going to be addressing the recent thing with Madalena and all that junk. I understand I am a silly character and I will be eliminated. I didn’t do this to win. Actually, I expected to get eliminated the first chance Alex got. I joined the OC to have fun and brighten days and to showcase my funny side, and I see that’s what Alex wanted to do with her OC Madalena, so why did I get dragged into that post? Alex, you said you made Madalena to have fun, that’s why I made Meme, so how come you trashed me for your exact reasoning? I guess what I’m trying to convey here is that I don’t understand why you (Alex) blame Meme when you did the exact thing with your OC. Hate is never okay and trying to push yours onto me wasn’t cool either. I have not once done anything to anyone out of seriousness or ooc that could be taken offensively and if my oc has really been that much of a burden I’m sorry. I just wanted to make some people laugh. Nothing meme said was out of malicious intent and I thought everyone understood she was just a joke.
I’m sorry if my fun annoyed you. I have not sent any hate to anyone so I once again don’t understand why I was thrown into this. I thought my oc would be a nice distraction from all the chaos, but I guess I thought wrong. I apologize for this rant, but like you said I am allowed to have emotions and be upset about things.Me being thrown into something that had nothing to my OC or me as a person just kind of upset me and I wanted to share so this didn’t happen again.
~Just some thoughts from the creator. Also just a quick note: Thank you to everyone who enjoyed my jokes and played along. I deeply appreciate you and I don’t want it to seem like I got excessive hate because I got a couple comments here and there. The people who were kind to me, thanks geese, you were the best.))
(true to my ocs name I thought it would be appropriate to post a meme at the end of this all.)
Their management informs them that they have an interview right before the ARIAs, and it isn’t until he’s in a suit, seated on a couch between Liam and Zayn, that he gets the idea.
The interviewer, Angus, smiles at them, right before the cameras roll on, and a metaphorical light bulb goes off inside Louis’ head. He’s perfect. Well, not as perfect as Harry, but enough. He’s attractive, attractive enough to drive Harry crazy, and he doesn’t even think of the consequences of his actions, just decides right then. It’s all Harry’s fault anyway. Louis should be allowed to have a little fun.
(or: Louis flirts with the Australian interviewers and Harry gets possessive.)