now im just some sherlock that

Just imagine #1
  • Currently in a Bar
  • Drunk Person A shouting to C who was next to B: THIS PERSON BELONG TO ME!
  • Person C: Excuse me?
  • Person B: Omg you're drunk, aren't you?
  • Drunk Person A who ignores B: PERSON B IS MINE! IM HIS ALL! IM THE SUN OF HIS DAWN! HIS MEAN TO BE! THE OXYGEN FOR HIS LUNGS! HIS...
  • Person B: Face to punch if you don't shut up right now
  • Person C: It's a good time to say that I was actually just asking for some change to use the telephone

anonymous asked:

hi there, i hope im not bothering you. i watched bbc's sherlock and am right now catching up witch doctor who (fifth season right now) and i see many people complaining about moffat? i don't understand that 100% and i thought you might explain? sorry for interrupting!

You’re not bothering me dear, don’t worry. I’m going to preface this by saying this is my opinion and whether you (you being anyone who is reading this, not just you personally Nonnie) agree with it or not does not change the fact that I am entitled to my opinion (because I’ve been having some issues lately with people saying my opinion of Moffat is wrong, and there’s no such thing as “wrong” opinion — it’s a personal thing).

That said, there are quite a few reason people don’t like Moffat’s Who. I’m going to split this into four categories — storylines, treatment of women in Moffat’s Who, the Doctor in Moffat’s Who, and Moffat the person.

Buckle up, because these tend to get a bit long. Since you said you just started series five, I should warn you that this is not going to spoiler-free, as my opinion on Moffat comes from watching the show, and referencing examples is a key part of understanding why I don’t like him. I’d also like to say that you shouldn’t let my (or anyone else’s opinion) keep you from continuing the show. Everyone should form their own opinion.

So. Let’s start.

Storylines: Moffat’s storylines tend to be convoluted and full of “timey wimey” non-explanations to justify everything. There are plot holes in the show so big you could drive a truck through them. He creates all these grand elaborate storylines, and it’s clear he has no idea how he’s going to follow through. Matt Smith’s entire tenure as the Doctor is proof of this. Moffat got to Matt’s last episode and realized “Shit, Matt is leaving and I have all these open storylines, what am I gonna do with them?” And what did he do indeed? Created a smorgasbord of an episode in which nothing happened — commonly referred to as “Day of the Doctor.” Moffat’s storylines look good on the surface, but the deeper you look, the more you realize, “Wow, he has no idea what he’s doing, he just likes using flashy effects and making things explode.”

Treatment of Women: Moffat has no respect for women. I’ll get more into that later, but I mention it now because it definitely colors the way he treats women in the show. What do Amy, Clara, and River all have in common? They were all “special” in someway, and their lives all revolved completely and entirely around the Doctor.

Amy: The girl who waited. The girl who spent her entire life waiting for the Doctor to come back, because apparently that’s what people do. Sure she made a show of “moving on” — getting a job, going out with Rory, etc. But she was still willing to give all that up just to run off with the Doctor the second he gave her a minute of attention again. That’s not a life.
River:
The woman who killed the Doctor —OR— the Doctor’s wife. Either way, she had sense of self. Her entire identity revolved around the Doctor — she was raised to kill him and as a result became obsessed with him, and later transferred that obsession into “loving” him when her mission to kill him failed.
Clara: The impossible girl. Her entire first season on the show revolved around being a mystery that the Doctor had to solve. We knew next to nothing about her other than that some clones or something had once appeared in other parts of the Doctor’s life (yes it’s later explained that she jumped through his timeline, but that’s all we knew about her for the longest time).

Remember Rose, Martha, and Donna? They weren’t special in any way. They were normal people living normal lives until they met the Doctor. They had back stories and families who cared about them and jobs and responsibilities. They didn’t have to be “special” for the Doctor to care about them.

Getting off the special train here. His general writing of women just isn’t enjoyable. He uselessly oversexualized River, and the “love triangle” between Rory, Amy, and the Doctor was just unnecessary. It would’ve been a much better story if Amy had struggled between living her dream of seeing the stars and living a life with the man she loves (Rory). But no, Moffat had to introduce the “well maybe Amy actually loves the Doctor” storyline.

And River as the Doctor’s life just makes me angry. Like I said before, I don’t believe she actually loved him — she was just obsessed. It was a dangerously unhealthy relationship, with River giving everything to the Doctor and getting nothing back in return. Which is demonstrated clearly by her line in Angels Take Manhattan — “Don’t let [the Doctor] see your damage.” No, River. That is not how a relationship works. If you’re hurting, you should let your husband see it, because your husband should want to take care of you. It’s clearly a dysfunctional relationship. There’s nothing “romantic” about it.

As I said before, I disliked Clara’s entire storyline, and I really dislike the way the Doctor treats her in this current season. But I’ll get into that next.

Moffat’s Doctor: Since he’s now written two Doctors, I’ll split this up into two categories.

Eleven: Eleven was, essentially, a cosmic, bratty child. The whole with fezzes and bowties being “cool” was fun at first, but then it just got ridiculous. He also used humans, which disgusts me to no end (like using them to destroy the Silence). Remember River’s line from TATM about not letting the Doctor see your damage? That gives you a pretty good idea of who he is — he’s incapable of handling the consequences of his actions, and therefore needs to be “protected” from all the bad things he does. That doesn’t just apply to River, but to anyone he’s ever hurt (which as we know the Doctor thinks he hurts everyone he comes into contact with).

Not being able to handle consequences actually leads me to another point — Moffat’s handling of the Time War. Rather than deal with the consequences of the Doctor having to destroy his entire planet (which I would have found to be a much more interesting storyline), he simply rewrote it so the Doctor could have a happy ending and essentially erased seven seasons of character development. Moffat sees the Doctor has a god, and “consequences” are below him.

Twelve: Twelve absolutely disgusts me. I knew the moment it was announced that Twelve was going to be a “dark” Doctor, it was going to be awful, because Moffat can’t write emotional upheaval or consequences (I’ll get into that in a minute), and those are two big parts of being dark. Moffat doesn’t get that though. He seems to think that “dark” = “asshole” which is exactly what he’s turned Twelve into. Which brings me to what I was saying before about his current treatment of Clara — he’s horribly sexist toward her, insulting her appearance every chance he gets. That’s not okay. There are children watching this show, including little girls, who are now looking at themselves and wondering if the Doctor thinks they’re fat too. And before you say I’m overreacting, I’ve seen actual proof of that from other posts (unfortunately I can’t find them right now, but if I do I’ll gladly show you). And it makes me sad, because I really did want to like Twelve — Peter Capaldi is awesome. But Twelve is awful.

Moffat The Person: Moffat is a sexist, homophobic asshole. Don’t believe me? Have some quotes:

About women: “There’s this issue you’re not allowed to discuss: that women are needy. Men can go for longer, more happily, without women. That’s the truth. We don’t, as little boys, play at being married - we try to avoid it for as long as possible. Meanwhile women are out there hunting for husbands.”

About bisexuals: I can’t find the exact quote for this one, unfortunately (not one from a reliable source), but here’s a summary: Moffat is happy that bisexuals “probably don’t even watch” his shows because they’re off “having far too much fun” getting laid. If they were watching, he’d have to make them characters or something, which would be weird, because his gay characters are “going through a phase” anyway, like Irene Adler was before she met the man who could turn her straight. (from here).

Yeah. These are actual quotes from this actual human being. This human being who is in charge of writing one of the longest-running and most popular shows in television history. He’s also horribly degrading to DW fans, saying things like how we don’t need explanations for things that happen on the show (hence his timey-wimey non-explanations), and he acts like we’re all morons.

And before someone says “Oh but he was bullied as a child, don’t be too hard on him!” Yeah, no. I was bullied as a child too, and you know what? I didn’t turn into an asshole. I put all my energy into trying to make people feel better about themselves, rather than saying they’re needy or don’t need representation because they’re too busy having sex anyways.

So here you have it. For the tl;dr version (this is over 1500 words, if you read all of this then god bless you): Moffat’s treatment of women is despicable, his writing of the Doctor and the show in general is awful, and he’s a horrible human being.

Thank you and again, if you stuck with me for this long, god bless. Please remember that this is all my opinion, and if you don’t like it, that’s fine, but don’t tell me I’m wrong. I’m just as entitled to my opinion as everyone else is.

A Drunken Conundrum
  • Sherlock: *drunkenly stumbles toward door and bangs on it* Moooolllllyyyyy Hoooooopah! Molly, I need to shpeak wit you.'
  • *Door Opens*
  • Sherlock: *grins stupidly and tries to focus the two blurs into one person* There you are. The path'logisht I love. You're sho beautiful, wit your hair and shmile and brainsh. And you cut open corpshes sho perfectly. *sighs dreamily, closes his eyes, and rests his head on the doorframe*
  • *John and Mary stare at him in bemusement*
  • Mary: When do you think he'll realize we're not Molly?
  • John: *looks at Sherlock for a moment* Not anytime soon, I'm guessing.
  • Mary: *grins wickedly* Excellent.
  • Sherlock: *pouts* Aren't you going to kish me now?
  • John: Not likely, mate.
  • Mary: *pulls out her phone and starts recording*
  • Sherlock: But I told you I love you. *stumbles forward blindly and purses his lips*
  • John: *dodges out of the way* Oh, hell no!
  • Mary: *laughing* And you wonder how the rumors get started.
  • Sherlock: *stumbles into the living room* Wait, thish ishn't Molly's shofa. *looks around and frowns in confusion*
  • John: No, mate. Molly's sofa is about seventeen miles west of here.
  • Sherlock: *stumbles toward the door* Which waysh west?
  • John: You're not walking there, Sherlock.
  • Sherlock: But she needsh to know that I loooooove her sho much!
  • Mary: *still recording* How about we give you a lift, love?
  • Sherlock: *bottom lip trembles* That would be sho shweet of you!
  • John: Bloody great. I'm chauffeuring a hammered detective to declare his love at 10 at night. How did this become my life?
  • Sherlock: *hooks his arm around John's neck* Come Watshon! The game of love ish on!
  • *TWO YEARS LATER*
  • Sherlock: I hate you.
  • Mary: *smiles smugly as the video finishes* No, you don't.
  • Mycroft: I must say, brother, I never expected this outcome when you stole my bottle of Hennessy. You still haven't paid me back for it, you know.
  • Sherlock: *grumbles* Don't hold your breath.
  • Molly: *beaming widely and kisses his cheek* I think it's adorable.
  • John: You didn't have to ride with him across London. Never did get the smell of sick out of the upholstery.
  • Sherlock: *flushes* Sorry about that.
  • John: *shrugs* In the end, I suppose it was a small sacrifice to pay for you two to be happy.
  • Mary: I think I deserve some credit for waiting to show Molly the video for almost two years!
  • Sherlock: You'd have gotten a lot more credit had you erased the damn thing and burned the phone.
  • Mary: Oh hush you. *Stands and raises her glass* To Sherlock and Molly Holmes!
  • Everyone: *raises their glasses in toast* Sherlock and Molly!

An idea that came from this post about how TFP appears to be set in a large house just like the one in Clue (the movie or game that is also called Cluedo)

So did some research on the characters in the game Clue/Cluedo (Im just going to refer to it as Cluedo)

The victim

Dr black - At this point they could be anyone (but right now if there even is a victim in the ep Im guessing they killed themselves and are trying to frame someone else. Just like Sherlock said when he and John played cluedo, and just like Dan in the case on Twitter)

The suspects (all information from various depictions of the characters)

  • Miss Scarlet - Eurus/Faith/Elisabeth, if these are all the same woman, (AKA the lady in red during setlock)
  • Miss scarlet is portrayed as being young, blonde/brunette and wearing a red dress which can all fit the characteristics of Eurus. It is also mentioned that Miss Scarlet is an actress, we know Eurus is a good actress as she pretends to be different people, and is a hinted love-interest, Eurus as ‘E’ was the ‘proposed love-interest’ for John.
  • Colonel Mustard - John. 
  • Mustard is described as being a  military man both dignified and dangerous, John is himself a military man. He was originally portrayed as 30-40 years old with straw-coloured hair and mustache, John is in his 30-40s, ive seen him described as having straw-coloured hair and in TEH and TAB he had a mustache. In a later adaptation Mustard is described as a ‘crack shot and sleeps with a revolver under his pillow’ John was shown to be a ‘crack shot’ in ASiP when he shot the cabbie. 
  • Mrs White - Mrs Hudson
  • Mrs. White was first portrayed as a cook, then a young maid, then as a ‘long serving housekeeper’ which is reminiscent of Mrs H. as she says she isnt a ‘housekeeper’ but she practically mothers Sherlock and John. Thats all i have on her.
  • Reverend/Mr. Green - No idea.
  • This character is rather a strange mix, hes sometimes a reverend, sometimes a gangster and hes ones ‘portrayed as a hapless homosexual who must keep his orientation a secret so he can keep his position in the State Department‘, I just thought you should all know that. So I cant really place a Sherlock character to him,part of my instinct says Mycroft but Im really not sure why, part of me feels like Lestrade should go here just to fit him in with the mix.
  • Mrs. Peacock - Im not sure, Possibly Mycroft
  • They could Possibly be Mycroft as they are described as ‘Queen-like’ which could be a link with his ‘minor position in the British government’, and on some occasions they have a cane which can be linked to his umbrella. Also Mrs P is once described as having ‘had thirteen husbands’ this is a link to the number 13, not really important but I thought you would appreciate knowing. 
  • Professor Plum - Sherlock
  • Professor Plum is described as being quick witted, young-middle aged and is seen as the intellectual, I think that also fits Sherlock. Plum has a tail coat, smokes a pipe (ACD Sherlock trade mark) also ‘killed his wife out of desperation to complete an experiment’ and is an expert on poisons. Again this just seems like Sherlock.

Additional Suspects (from a VCR game, Im only going to mention the ones that can fit)

  • Miss Peach - Molly 
  • Miss Peach manipulates others using her sweet, innocent charm, we know Molly can appear to be sweet and innocent but when she wants to she can also be terrifying. Not much else, this is mostly just to fit Molly in.
  • Sergeant Gray - Lestrade 
  • The best fit character for Lestrade as he is a cop, Grey is also described as an Inspector in one version.

Also a line from the edition Cluedo Junior Detective ‘ This edition introduced Inspector Cluedo, and his trusty bloodhound Watson’, just something i thought someone would appreciate. 

I don’t understand ship wars. I really don’t.

It’s like… It’s like getting fucking furious at someone because they like chocolate ice cream and you like vanilla, then telling them that THEY’RE NOT ALLOWED TO LIKE CHOCOLATE BECAUSE IT’S TERRIBLE AND DISGUSTING AND UNNATURAL.

Like, fuck man, just let me enjoy my chocolate in peace. I’m not forcing you to eat it. You don’t even have to fucking look at it. I’ll just hang out in the corner with my fellow chocolate lovers and keep to myself. 

AND HELL, MAYBE I EVEN LIKE SOME VANILLA FROM TIME TO TIME, TOO. MAYBE I WANNA SWIRL THAT SHIT UP, OKAY?!

Alright, now I’m getting a little overboard with the analogy, but you get the point… It’s fucking ridiculous to tell someone that they’re not allowed to like something and try to ruin it for them just because you have different tastes. Can’t we all just get along?

Go eat some ice cream. Maybe it’ll make you feel better.

Can I just say that this is how it’s done. This is how it’s fucking done. This show has lived up to every expectation it’s set, no queerbating, no denial of the facts or backpedaling. We have been given an amazingly healthy queer relationship that I’m sure some of us (including me) didn’t even believe when it was laid out right in front of us because we had been lured by that bait before and let down so many times. Even in this episode preview they hinted at something HUGE that I didn’t even think would happen, I thought it was just a teasing suggestion but NO. WE HAVE GOTTEN EVERYTHING. WE ARE SO FULFILLED, SOME OF US HAVE NEVER FELT LIKE THIS, THE VALIDATION OF HAVING A QUEER COUPLE ACTUALLY BEING CANON!!
I will tell you one fucking thing tho, we are so ruined for other shows, now that we know how good it can get. But I hope hope that yuuri on ice will set a new standard of representation and quality that others will follow!
THIS SHOW FILLS ME WITH SO MUCH I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF

anonymous asked:

hey thea! what are your fave johnlock fake relationship fics? ❤️🔍👀

i was like “i’ve totally done this rec list before back in the day when i did fic recs” but it was bed sharing, which is kind of satisfying in the same way.

i really only have a couple of fake relationship ones off the top of my head that i remember well enough to rec:

the norwood love builders- they go to couple’s therapy “for a case”

family dinner- this is satisfying in a similar way to fake relationship even though they’re just visiting sherlock’s parents not fake relationshipping but ;lfgyhujik trust me

hitting the water at sixty miles- probably the classic-est one where they fake it to please sherlock’s mom, it has it’s very angsty moments cause they’re both like THIS ISN’T REAL IM DYING but happy ending of course

the night train- oh my god this is so well received on ao3 but still underrated?? it’s alternate meeting and… literally meet and sherlock literally jumps into john’s arms like “we’re fake dating now cause some people are chasing me oh nooo we have to date because i am a damsel!! in so much distress!!!!” FEELS GOOD FEELS TRUE FEELS ORGANIC

i can’t pretend- don’t remember this one but i had it saved so let’s see where the fuck this takes us

hello-im-sherlock-blog  asked:

What is your opinion on why the magazine portrayed us this way?

It’s just a shame, a real waste of an interview. The problem is that negative articles are more interesting to the general public than positive ones, so it’s just more profitable to paint the ‘crazy fan’ picture. Benedict’s direct quotes from that interview aren’t negative at all, he barely even mentions his fans. It’s just the writer that makes, frankly rather rude, comments about the fandom. It’s sadly not the first time this has happened and seems to be a bit of a new trend in articles.

That being said, writing angry text posts on Tumblr doesn’t actually change anything. Sure it helps you blow off some steam but if you really want to make a difference then why not send some constructive criticism to the guy who wrote the article or the magazine itself if you really want to try and make a difference.

Okay so just now I had lunch and I sat down with some people and we got into the subject of Sherlock and one of the guys brought up that he also plays Smaug - and the girl (who’s not into any of that) just looked confused and repeated; “did you say Smör??” and I cant stop laughing because smör means butter and imagine this butter dragon the desolation of butter /whale noises

It’s so real though like after they get together everyone keeps walking in right when they are about to have a moment.

Like they’ve just finished a case and they stumble back in like “wow that was brilliant, we’re brilliant, we almost died but then brilliantly didn’t, sex would be brilliant right now” and they’re like flirting and getting playful and about to go in for the kiss and mrs Hudson/lestrade/Molly just burst in like “sorry I just need to…OMG IM SO SORRY YOU WERE GOING FOR IT RIGHT NOW. SO SORRY.”

And Sherlock is like “I can deduce from you nose that you’re a fucking buzzkill and I furthermore observe from your shirt that get the fuck out of here and going by your watch I HATE YOU.”

And John is just like “it’s ok I have perfected this exasperated sigh of sexual frustration and the incredulous look that makes you afraid for your life for years now. I don’t need to throw fits unlike some people I will just look at you until you regret your life.”

anonymous asked:

Prompt if you want it: Sherlock and Molly have known each other since their teens - since then they've had an 'on again off again" relationship. Anyway: I'd really like to see Mummy somehow being at Scotland Yard and telling everyone embarressing stories about Sherlock - especially one where she happened to walk in on a teen Sherlock and Molly having a heavy makeout session in his bedroom. ;)

Hello,Nonny! Sorry this took awhile! Thank you for the prompt! And stay lovely! I hope you enjoy it! I made it a sort-of sequel to this prompt but it can stand alone! Again, hope you enjoy it! xx

Sherlock and Molly chose not to talk about it ever since they broke up. Sometimes they both even hate to acknowledge that they were together once (or twice or thrice, They’ve lost count at how much they’ve dated.) but there were times, moments, wherein they remember what being together feels like and sometimes that comes with an urge to do something so they could get back together. Their attempts were futile but they were attempts, nonetheless. What they are, or were rather, all started after sharing a kiss inside a cupboard during a party when they were in high school. It was the single most embarrassing moment of their lives that they’ve decided to stick together after that. No, that does not mean they were in a relationship immediately after, if anything, they got together long after that. It happened very gradually that it took their whole high school years to establish something solid. It was pretty hard for Sherlock to accept that sentiment has gotten the best of him, and it took time. Throughout college, Sherlock and Molly had an off and on thing going. Sherlock would lose side of his humanity and Molly would call him out on it and they would fight and then they’d break up and then Sherlock would come knocking at her door saying he was sorry thus getting them back together after a few hours(days) inside his mind palace.

Keep reading

I HAVE YET TO SEE ONE POST ABOUT THIS SO I GUESS I’M JUST GOING HAVE TO TAKE MATTERS INTO MY OWN HANDS.
THIS IS A SHOT FROM THE 7 MINUTE SHERLOCK CHRISTMAS SPECIAL. HERE WE CAN CLEARLY SEE THE OBJECTS IN THE BOX.
•THE PINK PHONE FROM A STUDY IN PINK
•A FACE MASK/MOLD OF SOME SORT
•NICOTINE PATCHES
•AND A TOY TRAIN
SO IM NOT ONE OF THE PARTICULARLY INTELLIGENT PEOPLE IN THE SHERLOCK FANDOM BUT I DO KNOW THAT MANY OF THESE THINGS COULD BE IMPORTANT. NOW, IT’S BEEN MADE CLEAR THAT SHERLOCK IS NOT A SENTIMENTAL PERSON, RIGHT? SO WHY WOULD HE HAVE A TOY TRAIN?? THE ONLY LOGICAL REASON A GROWN MAN WOULD HAVE A TOY TRAIN WOULD HAVE TO BE SENTIMENT. BUT THAN AGAIN, THIS IS SHERLOCK. HIS LOGIC IS A LOT DIFFERENT THAN OURS. I AM NOT GONNA WASTE ANY TIME TRYING TO FIGURE OUT EXACTLY WHAT EACH OF THESE MEAN SO LET’S JUST GO ONTO THE FACE MASK. WHEN WE FIRST WATCHED IT MY SISTERS FIRST THOUGHT WAS THAT IT WAS A FACE MOLD OR SOMETHING. IT KIND OF JUST LOOKS LIKE A MASK TO ME, BUT YOU TAKE A LOOK. WHAT DO YOU SEE? I THINK WE’RE ALL THINKING THE SAME THING ABOUT THE MASK, RIGHT? OK MOVING ON. THE PHONE. ANYTHING COULD BE IN THAT PHONE. YOU THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A WHILE. IF I MISSED ANYTHING OF IMPORTANCE FEEL FREE TO MAKE IT KNOWN.
this is the end of my rant