now i've watched it three or four times and am reading the book

I've Waited

Request: (Anonymous): Hey I wanted to request a one shot from Deans point of view. Where he is in love with the reader but doesn’t want to tell her because he doesn’t think he is good enough. But he accidentally tells her and tries to cover it up. But the reader says she loves him too and just kisses and snuggles and fluff. Thanks, I love your writing, you have some talent!

This is my first request from Dean’s point of view, I hope I got it right. Enjoy! (and thank you!) *Fluff, and some thoughts of not being good enough if that is a warning. 

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I knocked on Y/N’s door to wake her up, the old bunker’s wood echo’d with each knock. “Y/N? You up?” I asked.

“Come in!” I heard her voice say. I saw her bundled up in her sheets, her beautiful hair flowing around her head on the pillow. 

Chuckling I asked “Sam made us waffles, you want some?” 

She blinked her eyes and her long eyelashes hit her cheeks softly each time, “Uh, save some for me yeah?” she asked as she began rolling over to sit up. If only that side of the bed was mine…

No problem, oh and there’s no hunting today, so tonight we’re going out for drinks” I said, having any excuse to stay by her a bit longer. 

“That’d be nice” she said as she got up from her bed. Her loose gray t-shirt fell off one shoulder, and then I realized that’s all she was wearing. Trying to be a gentleman I closed my eyes with my hands when she giggled “You’ve seen me like this hundreds of times, why close your eyes now?” she said, flipping through some pants to wear. 

Because now I’ve completely fallen for you Y/N I thought as I opened my eyes. 

“Uh just, ah never mind”. Since when do girls make me so nervous? That was the worst answer ever! 

Making my way to get some waffles Sammy slumped down in the chair next to me. He looks so tired, hell didn’t do him any good up in his brain. He’d never admit how much it hurt him, but I can see the red lining his eyes, and I can hear him up at four AM, walking around the bunker because he’d had another nightmare. 

“So? Any hunts today?” he asked me as he slid my cup of coffee across the table. Grabbing it with one hand and bringing it to my mouth I said, “Nope, just some sleeping and drinks tonight”. 

Sam laughed, “any other plans?” he asked, obviously referring to the liking I have towards Y/N. 

“Look Sam,” I said putting my cup down and facing him, “she won’t feel the same way. If I risk the friendship we have now it’ll ruin everything you got that? Everything!” and I began biting into my waffle roughly. 

“You have to try Dean!” Sam exclaimed after another minute or so.

“She doesn’t like me back Sam! She is perfect in every imperfect way, and all I am is extra baggage alright? She doesn’t need that.” I said, ending the conversation by slamming my plate into the sink. 

——————

After bottling up my emotions once more, Sam decided to read a book in the library while I needed something to get my mind off Y/N. I took up watching some Dr. Sexy, and twenty minutes in my distraction walked in. 

“Hey Dean” she half-waved in my direction, “Any waffles left for me?” she asked, raising one eyebrow. Acting casual I smirked and said “should be on the table” and pointed towards the kitchen table. She smiled and did that half-skip she does when she gets excited for something. Damnit she skips! She friggin’ skips! Who needs my problems and baggage when they’re skipping away? Why can’t I accept that I’m not good enough. 

There goes the idea of not thinking about her. Instead of sitting at the kitchen table, she plopped down on the couch next to me with her waffles. Her Y/E/C eyes were shining when she offered me a waffle, trying to shove it into my mouth.

Laughing I answered “I’m good Y/N, really. Sam already made me my four waffles and coffee. Where is your coffee by the way? Don’t eat them dry!” I said.

She shrugged her shoulders “Oh I just finished yours is that ok?” she asked. My heart rate picked up “Uh yeah! Sure” I said, turning my red cheeks away. 

“What’re you watching?” she asked, mouth full. 

“Some Dr. Sexy, guilty pleasure” I answered, as I began flipping through the channels. She put her hand on mine, but I realized not romantically, she just wanted to press my thumb down on the remote to go back a channel. 

Did she notice that I like her? Is she teasing me? Damnit she’s been hunting with us THREE YEARS and now I love her? I can’t lose her now, so I can’t tell her. But at the same time I just want to hold her in my arms while she watches her show….

We binged watched shows, laughing and making fun, other times upset over character deaths. “Oh my god!” she said, looking at her watch, “It’s already five!” she finished, getting up. 

Rubbing my eyes I said “Well when do you want to go out?”, then stopped realizing how that came out.

“What?” she said turning around, “Oh, uh how about six thirty? I’ll get ready for now” and she raised both eyebrows at me waiting for an answer. “Hello? Earth to Dean?” she said, waving a hand in front of my occupied head. 

“Oh yeah, sound good” I replied, and got up groggily towards my room. 

———————-

I made a left to go to Sammy’s room first. Swinging the door open made Sam jump up from his book. “Dean?” he asked, closing the book. 

“I just don’t know what to do anymore man! I love her I really love her!” I exclaimed, sitting down on his bed and putting my face in my hands. 

He walked over and sat on his desk chair, “you have to tell her Dean.” he said, putting on his puppy dog eyes. 

“Sammy, she deserves better. She needs someone who can give her a white picket fence and sunday barbecues!” I said, placing my hands on my knees in attempt to get up. 

“No. She can’t have those white picket fences, she’s a damn hunter Dean! That life’s long gone, and frankly you’re the best damn thing she can have.” Sam said, trying to reassure me.

I nodded my head, no clear direction, just tiredness. I got up and went into my room, thinking about the possible reactions she would have if I told her how I feel. She’s beautiful, in all aspects, why would she want to spend her life with a rough hunter? 

I began taking out dark jeans, and black shirt to wear to the bar. Once I changed I leaned against the beds headboard, and turned on some music to pass the extra forty minutes left. 

Through the sound of ‘Animal Magnetism’, I could hear a faint knock on my door. 

“Dean?” Y/N’s voice rang, and I ripped the headphones off my head. 

“Come in” I said. 

She came in wearing a tight black dress, almost reaching her knee. Her hair was down, framing her face, and her beautiful eyes were sparkling. Inhaling some air, I asked “Whats up?”, wondering why it is she came in. 

“It’s six-thirty? Are you ready?” she said. Already six-thirty? What the hell? 

“Uh yeah, hold on” I said, and reached for my gun to slip into the back of my jeans. 

She laughed “even in the bars we can’t get a break huh?” and reached out her hand. I took it, and she pulled me out of my room like a child would pull their friend from excitement. My body tingled with joy and nerves as she pulled me to the bunkers door. 

Sammy was already there, opening the door. “Let’s go” he said, as he looked at us. 

————————

The Impala’s engine came to a quiet as we parked beside the bar. 

“Finally a night off!” Y/N said, slamming the car door shut. 

“Long overdue” Sammy agreed, walking towards the entrance. 

We ordered our drinks, but my eyes couldn’t leave Y/N the whole night, everything she did made me want to break down and kiss her. What would it feel like to have my lips on hers? Her hands running through my hair? 

I downed another beer. 

A man sat next to Y/N, big and tough, every girl there was drooling over him. I rolled my eyes and knew Y/N wouldn’t go for him. 

The bits and pieces I could hear over the music weren’t what I thought I would. 

“Hey, the drinks on me” is what I read off the man’s lips. 

Y/N giggled, Damnit. 

They spoke for a long time, and once the man had to leave he slipped her his number. My heart shattered into a thousand pieces I would have to pick up off the floor later. 

“I’m going home” I said to Y/N, picking up my jacket. 

“What? We just got here! You’re hardly even buzzed!” she announced loudly into my ear. 

“Well I’m done for tonight, call me when you need a ride back.” 

“Ugh, alright I’ll got get Sam.” she said, making her way through other people, pushing them aside until she emerged back with a drunk Sam. 

“Really? Already?” I asked, looking at a drunk and happy Sammy. 

“Dean! This was the best idea EVER!” he said, stumbling so Y/N caught him. 

“Let’s get him into the car” she said, and I helped her carry him. 

——

We rolled by the bunker, parking the car into the garage. Y/N slumped Sammy over her arm in a tight hold, and he just laughed until I dropped him into his bed. 

“Well that was short” Y/N said, “But it was a nice break” she added. A hunter she was, but she would never deliberately hurt anyones feelings, like mine right now for instance. I know I ripped her away from the fun because of my jealously. 

“Is something wrong Dean?” she said, reading my face. She tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear and bit her lip, damn those lips. 

“Uh no, just…” I trailed off. 

Y/N drew closer, “You can tell me anything you know?” and sat me down on the couch.

I looked into her honest eyes and leaned back on the couch. “I’ve just haven’t been at my best lately. Emotions aren’t a hunters best friend, although we drown in them” I said, telling her what I was thinking in my head. 

“I know what you mean” she said and leaned back with me. Neither of us met each others eyes, just kept looking forward at the wall. She crossed her legs on the table, “not only do we have to deal with the angels and demons shit, but we don’t have time to ourselves. Relationships for that matter is one!” she said, whispering loudly. 

“Sometimes I wish I wasn’t a hunter at all” and I think I just told her my secret, that even Sammy doesn’t see.

“Really?” she asked, “I like hunters” I could hear her smirk.

“I like you” I said, before I could even process it. My eyes opened wide and I looked at her waiting for a reaction, I can’t cover this up. 

She turned her head towards me “I like you too Dean” was the last thing I thought she’d say. But she did - right there in front of me Y/N said she likes me too. Maybe she means like a brother, I’m not good enough for her to date. She’ll go back to that bar guy…

“Dean?” she asked after a couple seconds of silence. “I like you more than you probably like me, and I didn’t know how to tell you. But there” she said sitting up, and pulling her dresses strap back up. 

“Me too Y/N. I’ve fallen for you completely, I can’t think straight when you’re around” I began rambling in hopes of a calm. 

She cut me off with a kiss. Her lips felt like heat and sparks, moving in rhythm with mine. Nothing has ever felt this right, and I moved my hand to her neck to draw her nearer. 

She placed her forehead against mine and whispered “I’ve waited so long Dean. So long” as she stared into my eyes. 

“I’ve waited longer” was the last thing I said until our lips pressed together once more. 

——————-

The rest of the night consisted of her head curled up against my chest, and my hand playing with her hair. I could almost shout from happiness. 

I pulled her in, placing my hands completely around her, and brought the blanket up and over us.