sonseulsoleil replied to your post: I’ve been thinking about Fraction!Clin…
Like…Clint Barton baking snob, or like walking disaster Clint?
Just picture it.
Do yourself a huge favor and imagine Clint Barton trying to bake and decorate a birthday cake.
First, there’s even deciding how to make it. Does he buy boxed mix? Does he attempt to go from scratch?
Nah, box seems safer. Now what the hell flavor do I go with? Everyone likes chocolate, right? But people also go nuts over red velvet. I dunno. That one has a cream cheese frosting, right? Or is it vanilla? Damn it.
Okay, maybe white cake is the way to go. White cake and…uh…okay, still have to decide on frosting. White cake and white frosting sounds boring. Lemon? Nah, that’s kind of weird. Oh, hey, mocha. God bless whoever put coffee flavor on cake. Okay. White cake and mocha icing. I can do this.
Two eggs, 1/3 cup water…wait, preheat oven? Aww, crap, I forgot to do that. Eh, it’ll be okay, I’ll just let it bake longer. Can’t hurt it, right? Set the timer and…bam. Good to go. Piece of cake, as they say.
Shit shit shit I forgot to press the “start” button on the timer! When did I put the cake in?
Uh…doesn’t really look done, but…maybe just five more minutes and I’ll take it out. Yeah, five minutes ought to do it.
“Let cake cool slightly before removing from pan” THEY SHOULD PUT THAT IN HUGE BLOCK LETTERS.
“Let cake cool completely before decorating” AGAIN, HUGE BLOCK LETTERS.
Okay, Barton. You can do this. Just stick the cake in the fridge and cover the melted icing with not melted icing once it’s cooled off. It’ll look fine.
It doesn’t look fine.
This is a disaster.
Everything is awful.