now i just feel inadequate

I feel so worthless and inadequate right now, I just want to cry and give up. I don’t want to do anything. I am so behind on all my schoolwork, the antidepression pill weight never like actually came off and I can’t do shit. i cant do anything. my hair looks like a mess. i cant focus on school work. i wanna self harm. everything sucks 

where do the good (rich) boys go to hide away

summary: the oc au. taking in a stray in newport beach might not be the best idea ingrid fisher has ever had, especially when said stray has a criminal record, a knack for trouble, and kind of a crush on the rich boy who lives next door.

notes: this is the following part to the five minute drabble (that wasn’t really five minutes who am i kidding) i wrote a while back thanks to the awful enablers that are amber and steph who begged for more the oc au because ryan and marissa are life okay. you people suck and ily.

also on ao3.

Emma, somehow, makes it to the Fisher’s house, where Ingrid lives along with her sister Gerda and two nieces, Elsa and Anna. Elsa turns out to be Emma’s age, whereas Anna is a year younger. She also learns pretty much every detail about the both of them, their family, their house, their traditions, their love for chocolate, their pet history, their non-existent friends at the school they attend at Newport, and pretty much everything Emma should (or shouldn’t?) know about someone in a hour.

Anna does like to talk.

Elsa, on the other hand, is more observant and quiet, studying Emma’s faces through Anna’s incessant chatter. She smiles at Emma, and quietly adds some input herself. Emma likes her. She likes Anna too, sure, but she’s never been the bubbly-non-stop-talking person, so it can be a little… overwhelming to be around her for long periods of time, to say the least.

Gerda looks at Emma like she’s hiding a grenade under her bra and is about to set the entire neighborhood on fire just for the kicks. Emma is used to that look, so she’s not as bothered by it as she could be.

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Positives of Bournemouth Art University -
  • Seaside ! Living in the midlands for my entire life has meant I have only ever seen the sea a few times.
  • More homely . Bournemouth is pretty much Derbyshire but by the sea - Middle class white people. I would have loved to have the culture variation but I guess I won’t get the culture shock I would have got from London.
  • The course is directed by a former makeup leader of Doctor Who and the lead for makeup/wigs from the west end production of “Cats! The Musical” for 7 years.
  • Work experience in LA .
  • The university is actually ranked 1st in most list of art specialty universities (The most famous probably being Which? guide . They Placed University of Arts London 5th) with the course having more content.
  • The first batch of graduates (The course has only been running for 3 years) have gone onto work on Thor 2, a new Tom Cruise movie and in the west end and on the NHS ad campaigns.
  • Cheaper by far.

Trying to make myself feel better I guess….