now i am gonna shut up

anonymous asked:

SHOULD I WATCH GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

okay listen. 

listen. 

idk if u have seen the first film. 

and u need to watch the first film to understand the second, which is, arguably, the better story of the two.

now, the first film. it’s. its a film, okay. its a movie. its ur typical bad guy is gonna destroy the world protagonists enter in STAGE LEFT & whilst they have a couple bumps at first they TEAM TOGETHER and SAVE THE WORLD bc they are Good Folks despite their questionably legal professions!

great!

like, it’s a decent film. it’s funny, it’s action packed, there’s a lot of heart to the characters. it SETS THE STAGE real well.

but the thing is it leaves u feeling kind of “eh whatever” UNLESS U FOLLOW IT UP WITH THE SECOND MOVIE.

film 1 is genuinely very good for worldbuilding and character setup, and, imo, not that great if you’re looking for a film with powerful emotional heart and a strong narrative message. like dont get me wrong, it’s good. it’s fun, it’s entertaining, and u get some warm fuzzies at the end. it’s originality is decent, considering the inherent originality of the setting of the film, but in terms of “wow, that was so creative, i never saw that coming” content … it’s average. like, “wow, that movie changed my life, i’ve got so much to think about now”, it’s …. okay. like it’s good, but it’s not genius, u know? it ain’t art.

vol.2, on the other hand? KNOCKS THAT STUFF OUT OF THE BALL PARK.

this film is ART.

u got character-centric storytelling. u got powerful narrative metaphors w strong and Good life messages. u got excellent character relationship growth, u got genius in the creativity department, u got originality, u got unique and complex villains, u got some TOP NOTCH JOKES, u got bammin’ slammin’ action sequences, u got GORGEOUS visuals, u got the most incredibly incorporation of song into story that i have EVER SEEN.

and. AND. on top of that, it takes so many of the vague attempts at subversion of Generic Superhero Tropes in film one and REALLY GOES TO TOWN WITH THEM, in that it is one big Think Outside The Box. the whole story subverts, deconstructs, and rebuilds some of the most problematic trends in superhero – or in fact, most generic action-y – storytelling.

PLUS, on top of all that, it explicitly shows characters on screen engaging in some really healthy behaviours. it has three separate female characters with three separate independent arcs, none of whom are sexualized. it allows male characters to be emotional and vulnerable and it delves into complicated heavy issues like breaking the cycle of abuse, or the many insidious layers and effects of toxic masculinity.

the entire story is about deconstructing and subverting toxic masculinity. and it is told so well.

and, on top of all of that Excellent Content, u literally, my friend, feel as though u are immersed in a particularly colourful gotg comic book for 2 and a half hours of your life.

WHAT an icon, tbh 

and so u see, anon, guardians vol.2 takes all the excellent premise content that vol.1 set up – rag tag gang of criminal losers accidentally become a family and save the world bc they’re Good people – and really expands on that beautifully. it takes the universe its built for itself and it tells a genuinely Good and complex and emotional story within that universe, about the characters that it’s set up for itself. 

and it is, truly, in every sense of the word, an ensemble superhero film. every character has their own individual arc, which are simultaneously independent of each other but also strongly interrelated bc the whole point of the story is that they’re a family whom loves each other. EVERYONE has an arc. and they’re all satisfying. they’re all important. they’re all powerful, even if they’re humorous or cute or kind of ridiculous at times.

and then, u know what happens, anon? u know what u get when u have a whole film, a whole 2 hours, that explores its characters in such depth?

u get a whole new perspective on vol.1, on that first, mostly decent generic-ish superhero film, and then u have the TIME OF YOUR LIFE re-watching the first one. bc u are invested in these characters now! u know where they’re going! how much they’re gonna love each other! how much they’ve dealt with in their lives! u have so much emotional context. so that first movie? it becomes important. it becomes relevant and poignant, when juxtaposed to the narrative of the second one, to the arcs in the second one.

truly? truly? what a way to write a story. what a WAY. i wanna do that someday.

so.

SO.

u should., ,,,, imho … in my humblest onion ….. Please Watch Guardians of the Galaxy. bc if u havent seen the first one, u cant understand the second one, and personally, i think that guardians of the galaxy volume 2 is genuinely one of the most important films that marvel studios has produced to date.

am to the point of needing a break of everything and rly happy me n my sis are going on a road trip with my grandpa so I can think and experience happy things and then I’m moving next week to an apartment and starting a new job (probably pick up a school job for more money/I’m not gonna rly be doing much at home tbh) and just wild imma be doing a lot of things by myself with barely help at all and don’t really have reliable help from anyone except for maybe my cousin and gotta say I care a lot about art and everything but I have very little care for art school now

Six Years and Seven Days

This is pretending that Bellamy could hear Clarke talking all those years, she just can’t hear him responding, and that the ship at the end is them coming back to Earth. 

So…pain. 


Day Three

“Bellamy…are you up there? Are you alive? Is anyone alive?”

Static.

“I only woke up yesterday. At least, I think it was yesterday. I barely made it into the bunker in time, but I made it. And the computer says it’s been three days since the radiation hit, and I was so hungry I thought I might die. Please tell me you didn’t die.”

Silence.

“Bellamy, my mom was right. In a way. My face is disgusting, covered in boils. You’d be laughing at me…probably. Because she was right but so were you. I’m not dead Bellamy. I hope you aren’t either.”

His fingers slammed on the respond button, pushing it down to the point of it feeling like it would crack from the pressure.

“I’m not dead, Clarke. I’m not dead.”

Keep reading

i kinda need a fic where Noora takes Isak and Even to her yoga class and Isak is actually really good at it and enjoys it and Even is all like “I’m to tall for this shit, the earth seems too far I am an artist goddamit, downward dog yourself hoe, nope I am never doing this again ever”

You’re not my Wife

The girl handed you the phone with a giddy smile. “Do you mind taking the picture?” she begged. 

You laughed and took her phone from her. “Sure, sweetheart. But I’ll warn ya, that one gets a little handsy when he is drunk,” you said, gesturing toward Jensen. “And he was drunk off his ass three whiskey’s ago,” you laughed with a wink. 

The girl laughed before stepping between Jensen and Jared. They both towered over her. She couldn’t wipe the adorable smile off of her face. You smiled to yourself as you raised the phone to take the picture. 

You were watching the screen as Jensen planted a firm kiss on the girl’s temple. You had to stifle a giggle as you heard him lean back and start talking to her. 

“Damn, Y/N, you smell so good. Did you change perfumes or something? And when did your hair get so long?” he asked, looking down at the girl. 

You tossed your head back in laughter as you snapped the picture then got Jensen’s attention. 

You snapped your fingers so that Jensen looked up at you.

“Hey, Jensen!” you giggled. 

When his eyes met yours, he smiled in recognition then looked back at the girl he had just kissed. He looked thoroughly confused. 

“You’re not my wife,” he slurred as he pulled away from the girl. “Who are you again?” 

Jared laughed as he pulled the girl into a hug. 

“Don’t mind his drunk ass,” Jared laughed as he squeezed the fan to his chest. “Y/N warned you about how he gets when he has had a few too many,” he said shaking his head. 

“Hey!” Jensen said indignantly. “We’re celebrating, Asshat!” he declared as he looked at you then back at Jared. Your eyes went wide. Jensen had no filter after a lot of liquor. He was about to spill the beans to everyone. 

“Jens, I think that’s enough,” you said, your eyes wide as he looked at you confused still. 

“What, beautiful? We ARE celebrating. We have a damn good reason to celebrate,” he said, walking toward you, snaking his arms around your waist and pulling you close, nuzzling into your neck. 

“I know,” you whispered, letting your hands settle on Jensen’s shoulders. “But the reason we are celebrating  is still a secret,” you reminded him. 

Jensen kissed your neck then pulled away to look you in the eye. “You mean they don’t know you’re pregnant?” he asked. 

You slapped a hand over his mouth, and he just smiled back at you his eyes lighting up as he kissed your palm. 

“What?” Jared and Gen said at the same time as the girl walked away. 

“They do now,” you laughed. “We were waiting until we told both of our parents,” you added, popping Jensen in the stomach. He shrugged innocently as he looked from you to Gen and Jared. “But I should have known once this one started drinking, it wouldn’t be a secret for long,” you laughed. 

Jensen contemplated you for a minute. “Secrets are stupid,” he declared. “Hey everybody! Listen up!” he yelled at no one in particular. “My sexy, gorgeous, beautiful wife is PREGNANT!” he declared triumphantly. “And I’m the lucky son of a bitch that knocked her up. Now THAT part was fun,” he laughed. 

“Okay, that’s enough, Ackles,” you laughed, kissing him quickly so that he would shut up. His tongue tangled with yours before the two of you pulled away breathless. 

“That mean you wanna get started on another?” he teased, running his hand up under your shirt. 

“Down boy,” you said, slapping his hand away. “What am I gonna do with you?” you laughed, kissing him once more. 

“Congrats, guys,” Jared said with a laugh, pulling you both into a bear hug. 

“Thanks man,” Jensen said seriously. “She is one hell of a woman,” he added, looking at you proudly. 

“Oh?” you asked. 

“Hell yeah,” Jensen replied, pulling you into his arms and kissing you with fervor.  

“Don’t you forget it, Ackles,” you teased, running your hands along the length of his back, the mystery picture girl long forgotten. 

jeon jungkook ruined my life: a story told through gifs

wey hey what’s up guys i’m back with another collection of rude gifs

this time our subject wll be the maknae and perhaps even the rudest member of bts: jeon jungkook

ok, time for the pain to begin

would any rude jungkook gif post be complete without a gif of this moment? i think not

idk what the fuck this move is trying to achieve but idc i’m still into it

again, what the fuck

don’t even get me started on this choreography, i’m thoroughly convinced that bighit was trying to kill me off

*googles* how to be a sweater

ok but seriously what do we have to do to get this hairstyle back because fucking hell

bitch i’m sweating he looks so good all dressed up n shit

hahahahahaha i’m not okay

*takes deep breath* isweartogodjeonmotherfuckingjungkookifyoudontbuttonupyourgoddamnshirtimgonnalosemyshit

i told myself that i wasn’t going to scream while making this post but it looks like that just went ouT THE FUCKING WINDOW

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

UUUUUUUUCK

hahahahahahahaha i’m not crying i just spilled a little water in my eyes

is this….. is this shit allowed

oh, you think this is bad?

well what do you think about this?

or this?

and we simply cannot ignore this

and i’m pretty sure that this is pornographic but hey it’s fine i’m FINE

that J on his jersey must be for “jerk” because that was extremely uncalled for

yup, it’s for “jerk” alright

tbh this stage was the sexiest shit ever and i’m still not over it

SUPRISE BITCH, THE CHEST HAS COME BACK OUT TO PLAY

AND THE ABS SEEM TO HAVE JOINED US AS WELL HELLO

ok u guys are probably sick of my comments by now so i’m just gonna hit u with straight up rudeness for a sec

OK OK OK I KNOW I SAID I’D SHUT UP BUT WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCKKKK

*raps to the beat of le hip thrusts* i. am. dead.

*yodels* fuck my life *dabs*

ok this was longer than i expected i’m so sorry i swear i’m done now peace out

(these gifs are not mine and i give credit to the makers of them… from my grave)

Say It Again - Jughead Jones

If requests are open, could you make a jughead x fem Reader where he never asked what her real name was (everyone just calls her by a nick name and has been doing so for years.) and when he finally figures it out and calls her by that name, the reader falls in love with the way it sounds when he says it. Sorry if it’s confusing, I just thought it’d be cute :)

Originally posted by diltons

Y/N/N = Your Nick Name

Y/N = Your (real/full) Name

L/N = Your Last Name

I loved this idea so much! I hope you like the way I wrote it!


The first time it was brought up was at the diner. You sat next to Jughead, and the two of you were sitting across from Betty and Veronica. You all were sharing stories from your childhoods, including Jughead, when it finally got to you. 

“Y/N/N, did you ever have a nickname?” You smiled at Veronica, who had admitted a few of her own embarrassing nicknames.

 “Y/N/N,” you replied, sipping at your milkshake. 

“What,” Jughead asked and you laughed while turning to face him.

 “Y/N/N is my nickname,” you said, but he still looked confused, “I’ve gone by Y/N/N my whole life. Even my parents use it rather than my actual name.”

“No, I get that,” he said, meeting your eyes, “but what’s your real name?” Veronica raised an eyebrow and Betty let out a laugh. “You’ve been best friends with Y/N/N for how long, and yet you still don’t know her full name?” Jughead squinted his eyes at Veronica and you let out a small giggle. “Now I have to know,” he said, turning to face you, but you just stared at him. “You’re a smart, independent, young man,” you said, causing Jughead to smile at you, “you can figure it out.” Betty rolled her eyes, “stop flirting you two, we’re trying to be nostalgic.” You felt a blush creep up onto your cheeks and with a glance at Jughead, you saw he was blushing too.


The second time it was brought up was at your locker door. School had ended and you were grabbing your jacket and text book out of your locker. Out of the corner of your eye you could see Jughead walking towards you, looking annoyed.

 “What’s up Juggie,” you asked as he leaned against the lockers next to yours. 

“So I went to the library during my free period,” he said and you started to close your locker door.

 “Sounds adventurous,” you said, looking up and smiling at him. 

“Ha! Very funny,” he said, “I went there looking to check out some yearbooks. When I asked for them she said, and I quote, ‘they’ve all been checked out.’” 

You gave him a smug smile, “Hmm, how strange.” He nodded, “isn’t it?”

Keep reading

Park Chanyeol//Liquid Truth

Originally posted by yeolhighness

Summary: You and Chanyeol go way back, and are best friends. It’s become routine for you to come over to the dorms whenever you have a fight with your boyfriend, but lately, he’s been pissed off at you, and you’re not quite sure why.
Scenario: angst, fluff
Word Count: 6,917

Keep reading

What Happens In Vegas...

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Smut, fighting, smut, rough smut, Sub!Dean, Dom!Dean (sorta), Dom!Reader, Sub!Reader, gambling, smut, use of sex toy, smut, oh…did I mention smut?

Word Count: 3819

A/N: This was written for @avasmommy224 birthday smut challenge. My prompt is in bold and please forgive me for this lol I had an idea so out of my comfort zone and ran with it. Please leave feedback! it is welcome and appreciated

There will be a part 2 later today!!!! Maybe even a part 3 in the future!

You love your job, plain and simple. You were probably one of the few people who had the pleasure of saying that but it was true. Sometimes things got a little heated but you were more than equipped to handle just about any situation tossed your way. You had just dealt the halfway mark of the current blackjack game at the casino you worked at. It was a table full of testosterone to say the least. One guy is burly with tattoo sleeves down both arms, definitely someone to steer clear of in any kind of hostile situation, the next is a bit smaller than him and drop-dead gorgeous. He’s slightly built and has the most stunning green eyes you have ever seen and every now and then you catch those eyes travelling up and down your physique; what’s visible due to the waist high blackjack table that is. You catch yourself having to fight a smile back every now and then whenever he looks up at you and sends you a flirty wink or two. Casino rules and expectations can be very tricky and the wrong hand gesture or facial expression can throw up red flags, cheating was severely frowned upon and anyone was a suspect.

Keep reading

Pet Names

pairing: connor murphy x reader

word count: 1000

warnings: swearing

summary: connor and you are having trouble trying to decide what pet name you’re going to call each other now that you’re in a relationship.

a/n: kinda dumb and silly but!!! i thought it would be really funny to write and something really simple and small that would just be a lil bit of happiness!!! enjoy


“I just don’t see why it matters.”

“Of course it matters, Connor!”

“You keep saying that and I still don’t understand why.”

“Because it does!”

“But why?”

“It just does!”

“Does it really?”

You tugged the end of his braid until he turned around to look at you. When he saw the pout on your face, he rolled his eyes and returned his focus back to his nails. He had been painting his fingernails for the past twenty minutes – he kept taking layers off and redoing them, however, so by now, the tips of his hands were stained black.

“Well, you’re not really helping me here,” he commented, bringing his thumb up and examining it. “You, of all people, should know how uncreative I am.”

“Bullshit,” you told him. “And besides, I’m not supposed to help. You’re supposed to think of it yourself.”

“But why?”

“Shut up!” Connor shook his head as he chuckled and you frowned, tugging the ends of his hair again. “And stop moving or the hair is gonna fall out,” you warned him, moving the hair elastic from the patch of quilt beside you and taking it in between your teeth. “And then I’ll be really mad.”

“I just… I just don’t see why it’s such a big deal.”

“Because everyone does!”

“Oh, and because everyone else wears shorts in the summertime, I should do that, too?”

“No,” you told him. “Wearing jeans year-round is your style.”

“And maybe this is my style.”

“But it shouldn’t be!”

“How about this,” Connor said exasperatedly, pulling away from you and turning his body to face you, “you throw out suggestions, and I’ll, uh, approve of them or disapprove of them. And then we’ll just… go from there.”

“Okay,” you agreed. “Baby.”

No. I would find it really if you called me something that implied I was your fucking dad.”

“It’s a common nickname, Connor!”

“Yeah, okay, but I don’t like it.”

“What do you like?”

Connor raised an eyebrow at you and tilted his head down. “Really?” he asked, moving slightly closer. His hair fell out of the would-be braid and dangled in front of his face, like a waterfall of chocolate waves. You hated that he was so pretty – you needed to win this argument. You couldn’t lose because he was irresistible. “Do I really need to tell you?”

You waited until his face was close enough that you could feel his breath washing over your skin to pull away. “Darling.”

Connor made a retching sound and fell backwards on the bed, stretching his legs as long as he could and laying them across your lap.

“Sweetie.”

“Next.”

“Sweetie-pie.”

“I’m not your mother.”

“Why does every nickname remind you of parents?”

“Because parents are almost always the ones who give you your first nickname, when they regret giving you the first name they gave you and want to avoid saying it as much as possible.”

Your mouth fell open. “Connor…”

“’That was a ridiculously good point’,” Connor squeaked, his voice moving an octave higher to his typical impression of you. “’Why thank you, sweetums, I know.’”

Sweetums?”

Connor laughed. “No, dear Lord, I was making a fucking joke,” he told you before you could say anything. “Jesus, if I called you sweetums, I… I think I’d dump myself for you.”

You giggled and lay down on the bed, untangling your legs from his and swinging them over top. “I feel like we’ve discussed already that I’m not going to dump you.”

“If I called you sweetums, I think you’d want to.”

You giggled again and rolled onto your side so you could see him better. He was staring at you with such bright, attentive eyes – he was almost never really like this. Even when you were alone, sometimes, he could still be cold. But right now, at such a late hour, he was all yours. And despite how tired you were, you didn’t want to sleep.

“Sweet cheeks.”

“Accurate, but no.” Connor picked up a pillow, lightly tossing it at you. “Next.”

“Babykins.”

“Jesus fuck.”

“Okay, okay, not babykins,” you interrupted. “How about… snookie?”

“Isn’t that, like, a female rapper… or something?”

“I dunno,” you replied, tossing the pillow back at him and watching as it fell onto his stomach. “Did I say darling?”

“Should I say it complete with a Southern accent too?” Connor asked, and before you could see anything, pushed himself up and cleared his throat. “’Come give ol’ Connor a kiss, darlin’.”

You grabbed another pillow from beside you and threw at it him to get him to shut up. “You need to assist me in this process, not drag me down,” you informed him.

“I would love to help, Y/N, honestly; I would. But I have zero inspiration whatsoever and I’m very, very tired.”

“Don’t go to sleep on me, baby,” you whined, sitting upright and beginning to crawl towards him. “Don’t go to sleep, lil’ baby Con-con.”

Connor groaned. “’Con-con?’” he scoffed. “That’s, like, the worst thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Connor Murphy,” you said firmly, throwing one leg and one arm over his body so you were perched over top of him, “pick a pet name for me.”

He squeezed his eyes shut. “Are you trying to seduce me just so I will do your bidding?”

You nodded and giggled slightly. “Yes, that’s literally what I’m doing.”

Surprisingly, he laughed and opened his eyes, moving his head to peck a kiss on the tip of your nose. “Can’t you just pick a name and then we can finish this? I have some sleep I need to catch up on.”

“Baby.”

No.”

“My love.”

Connor went silent.

“What?” you questioned. You crossed your arms over your chest and sat upright, your legs still on either side of his torso. “Love? That’s the name you like? Are you kidding?”

Connor shook his head and covered his face with his hands. “It’s… uh, like it’s cute.”

“What are we, British?” you said in disbelief. “’Oh, yes, milove, I could do with a spot of tea!’”

“It’s… like, it’s not horrible.”

Despite the frank surprise that this was the nickname he liked the most, a grin crept onto your face. “I love you, love.”

Connor sighed. “Never mind, it’s dumb.”

“You’re damn right it is,” you agreed. “But don’t worry. I have all the time in the world to think of one…”

“I guess that means I do too?”

You nodded. “Now, how do you feel about fruit-related names…”

The signs as stuff people in my creative writing class have said
  • Aries: "God bless A-FUCKING-merica."
  • Taurus: "Turn off the music, Mae, we're trying to pray to Steve Bushemi."
  • Gemini: "Hey, here's a new rule: shut up."
  • Cancer: "I'm gonna go rescue that bird."
  • Leo: "I'm always a slut for being a slut."
  • Virgo: "No swearing in my classroom."
  • Libra: "Marshall is triggered by pasta."
  • Scorpio: "Who else likes to sodomize Jesus?"
  • Sagittarius: "How am I going to get into the NFL now?"
  • Capricorn: "I HATE 13th century France."
  • Aquarius: "Don't kinkshame Emily Dickinson; she's not here to defend herself."
  • Pisces: "We can't scream while Sarah's here."

with love, from anonymous (chapter 14) - written with @bechnaesun

Summary:  Isak just wants to get his coffee in peace, Even has a crush, and there’s a secret admirer on the loose.

Notes: a big big thank you to @stardefiant & @koninginnen, always and forever, for sticking with us for FOURTEEN FUCKING CHAPTERS and four fucking months. i love you both so so much like y’all have no idea how grateful i am to you guys but i’ll stop bc i’ll get emotional. and also i love you cz more than life itself and you guys, whoever’s been reading this, for sticking with us. like, i get even more emo at the end notes anyway, so i’m gonna shut the fuck up now ok bye

Pairing: Isak/Even

Chapters: 14/14

Words: 16.239

ONSDAG 18.20

Sometimes, Even wishes things could be fixed as easily as Isak obviously wanted them to be. Even can’t be too sure, but he thinks Isak spends every day after the fact with him – only for a while, only to lay next to him. He might talk, he might not, but Even feels his presence, warm and looming next to him, and sometimes he thinks he can hear Isak whisper things to him when his eyes are closed in the haze of unconsciousness, and he can’t tell whether he’s dreaming the words or they’re reaching him through the fog.

[Ao3]

Owari no Seraph Headcanons

-Vampires click their top fangs against their bottom ones when they’re nervous. It’s usually super quiet and humans typically can’t hear them, but other vampires can

-They make this sort of rattling hiss when threatened or angry, kinda like a rattlesnake mixed with a cat. If they’re hurt when they’re hissing, they’ll shriek

-Their bottom fangs are spurs that hook into the flesh of their victem, anchoring them in and making moving difficult. Because venom production starts right before they bite, these spurs usually have a thin coating on them that numbs them to the victem, unless the bite was intentionally done without venom, which SERIOUSLY hurts and is usually something done in fighting instead of hunting because a screaming, thrashing human is difficult to drink from even with super strength

-Their claws (we sometimes see Ferid and Krul with their claws out when they’re fighting or angry, you can catch them if you watch close enough) slide out over their ordinary nails and are tough enough to dig into rock without breaking. Some vampires like to paint them in their free time (fucking Ferid with his purple-ass claws is evidence for this headcanon)

-They’re somewhat desensitized to pain. Minor injuries don’t bother them at all, and major injuries are more of a shock thing than anything else. This is because their healing abilities mean they don’t need to be careful with their injuries, as long-term healing isn’t really a thing. Therefore, the pain reflex has been mostly deactivated as feeling pain on a human level would be more of a crux than anything

-They’re mostly visual and sound-based predators, and hunt like big cats (based off their pouncing reflex). This means that they can do that thing where they can hold their head perfectly still even when the rest of their body is moving. And yes, they probably do the butt-wiggling

-Based off their ability to apparently run on the fucking walls and ceilings if they so wished (like in the first opening), their ankles and wrists are probably more flexible than ours and can pivot at angles that would make us scream to maximize their climbing ability (like that one squirrel{?}/lemur {idk I’m not that good at mammals} that can twist its back feet around to climb down trees). They probably also have longer hooked claws on their feet to hang from things so they can grab people preying-mantis style.

-Judging from how most of them seem to have really pale colouring, all of them have a strong adversion to sun (for obvious reasons lmao), the ability to climb on stone/hang from things, and a strong preference for the underground, I’m going to take a gander and say that they’re probably naturally cave dwellers

-They’re naturally solitary predators, and only usually form strong social bonds with people left over from when they are human (even if both are turned, the bond still stays)/the affection between sires and their offspring. This is why they aren’t very emotional; they don’t need it to survive and communicate, like we do. This lone hunter mentality also contributes to the tendancy to think over feeling, and is also why they don’t really care to learn things (because they can usually just figure it out by themselves). Eventually, some vampire went ‘hey, I’m strong by myself, what if instead of competing with other vampires we can team up and pool our reasorces instead of fighting over territory and prey’, and that’s how the kingdoms were formed. Vampires have since learned how to communicate with others and formed their own communication cues, but this is also where the pride and arrogance and splendor came in, because they’re essentially always trying to one-up the other vampires around them, so they eventually just started hoarding shit like dragons to prove themselves to the over vampires (a remnant of their territoriality)

-Their need to consume blood is partially a dietary need, partially magical. The blood provides the nutrients they need to get by, but it’s also a part of the curse that threw them into vampirism: essentially, you cheated death by drinking the life force of other humans (blood), but now that you’re technically supposed to be dead you’re running on borrowed time and *need* to keep stealing the life force of others to lengthen your own time. Because you weren’t supposed to cheat death, if you run out of time (starve/die), you get turned into a demon as punishment. (At least, that’s the basics of it). It takes three days to work the blood completely through the system, (as I headcanon it gets absorbed entirely, since they have only one specific food source), but they’ll still crave or enjoy drinking blood in between neccessary feeding times because it tastes good (like eating your favorite snack: you *can* have it later, but why do so when you can have it *now*) and it revitalizes their lives, giving them a sort of living high

-Vampires have the ability to echolocate if they are sunblinded (as their eyes are the most sensative). They’ll make these sort of throaty, high-frequency clicking noises that allows them to navigate them to a safe place until they are healed again.

-Fledgeling vampires are notoriously bad at learning to control their venom, and their progenitor usually gives them a few tips after they’ve drank from them for the first time because they have a higher resistance to vampire venom than humans. Fledgelings are also really bad at learning how to control their jumps and landings, so some of their first lessons are more focused on helping them learn to walk and jump again with their fancy joints and catlike reflexes than anything cool

-Then the next lessons are how to be self-sufficiant, like how to mend clothes and items and shit because no vampire wants to clean up after another one unless they’re their progenitor or special companion (and most times, not even then)
“When am I gonna learn how to do cool vampire things” “Shut up I’m trying to teach you how to fix your shit now so I don’t have to later”

-Most teaching is done by the progenitor because the most of the other vampires just don’t have the empathy or patience to care for a clumsy newborn who can’t seem to talk without biting themselves

-Sometimes vampires will start dripping venom if they’re anticipating a bite (like salivating) and they have to spit the excess venom out because it tastes bitter. The reason why they drip venom in the first place is to try to coat the rest of their teeth and numb their bite as much as possible so the human doesn’t struggle, but if the biting doesn’t actually happen it just accumulates and then their mouthes taste bad

-They have a rough patch on their tongue that puts pressure on the bite when they’re drinking, helping to increase the blood flow more than just the blood thinner in their venom. They usually press down, gather a mouthful of blood, pull back as they swallow, then press back down again to collect more, which must feel really frickin weird for the bite victem

-Their abilities to hiss, scream, and click makes being multilingual easy, which is why they can communicate with vampires across the world with little problem

Old-time vampire duels were usually fought with claws and dry-biting at necks and shoulders until one of them was killed or forced into submission

-The younger vampires are the most terrifying because they remember less of their humanity, making them more ‘purely’ vampire

Baring their fangs when fighting is an automatic reflex. Merely flashing the fangs is just aggression, whereas gaping the mouth open and baring all four fangs hints that they’re going for the kill

Because of their blood drinking and pouncing-attack style hunting, vampires have a greater range of movement in their necks that allow to look at things from many different angles and keep the movement without strain, like owls

-This is more of an observation than a headcanon, but all of the Michaela trait carriers seem to have a blood type of O, which also appears to be a delicacy in the vampire world

poetry-protest-pornography  asked:

I brought you an umbrella and/or the key is under the mat, ship of your choice. (Look, I'm enabling in a totally low-key and pre-approved way!)

Some future Sterek for you, with “the key is under the mat”! (I’m trying to make up for yesterday’s angst fest.)


It comes out of the blue, a text from a number Stiles had never been able to make himself delete from his phone, even though that means it’s probably been transferred through four phones now. He stares at the notification, then blinks and looks again. Derek Hale it still says.

“What?” he says to his otherwise empty living room. “Just… what?”

He swipes to open the text itself. It is, of course, both anti-climactic and short: Stiles?

“I don’t know what else I expected,” he mutters, exasperated, but even he can hear it comes out fond.

It’s been five years, for fuck’s sake. Derek should not get fond, dammit. But he does anyway.

Yeah, it’s me. Same bat channel, he texts back. And then he gets tired of the thought of dealing with what little affect Derek ever had being further flattened by the glorious medium that is texting and just fucking calls him. He’s not having his first conversation with Derek Hale in five years punctuated with emoji.

“Hello?” Derek answers, wary as always.

“The phone won’t actually bite you, Derek, I’m sure we’ve been over this before,” Stiles says, letting his grin bleed into his tone of voice.

“Stiles.” And Stiles could swear he hears Derek relax.

“That’s my name, glad we’ve got that reestablished, buddy. Also, you know, glad to know you’re alive.” Oh. That might have had a little… bite at the end. Whoops.

“I’m sorry…” Derek trails off. “I needed… some time. Away.”

Stiles sighs. “I get that. I really do.” Lower, though there’s really no point, Derek will hear him no matter what, “You honestly have no idea how much.”

Derek makes a noise at that, but Stiles doesn’t want to try to parse it right now. He runs a hand over his face, scrubs it back through his hair, and feels a rush of excitement in the center of his chest again as his mood shifts back and he remembers he’s talking to Derek again. For real this time. Not a dream. (He pinches himself just to be sure.) “Just… you know I was worried about you, right? That people cared after you left?”

“People?” Stiles can practically see the raised eyebrow.

“I feel fairly confident in that use of the plural, but yes, I am the important person in that statement, clearly. I cared. And I’m kinda pissed, not gonna lie, that you didn’t say something earlier, but honestly, I’m over it.” He pauses, miraculously stopping the flood of words, but fuck it, who knows when he’ll hear from Derek next, if ever? “It’s just so good to hear your voice again, I’m pretty sure I’d forgive you anything right now, so if you’ve got any big confessions you’ve been holding back, now’s the time. Be honest. Did you ding the Jeep that one time? I know someone did.”

“Stiles. Shut up.” And okay, that’s definitely fond.

Just to be obnoxious, and reveling in how normal it feels, Stiles stays resolutely silent.

Derek huffs in exasperation when he realizes what Stiles is doing. Stiles grins as he imagines the rolling eyes that must go with it. “So I hear you’re up in Washington now,” he says, finally contributing to the conversation.

“I am,” Stiles confirms. “Tiny town. My own tiny house. I work remote. Danny vouched for me.”

“Could… could I come see you?” Derek asks, weirdly hesitant. Stiles is fairly sure he’s never heard Derek sound that way before. Not to him. He doesn’t like it.

“Yeah, dude, of course! Lemme give you some directions…”

“I kind of already have your address. From Cora.”

Stiles stops fiddling with the pen he’d picked up from the desk and narrows his eyes at the perfectly innocent bird on his deck railing out the window. “Of course you do. Still the same old creeper wolf.”

“I’m also actually already most of the way to Mt. Rainier.”

“That certain of your welcome, were you?”

“I…”

“Derek.”

“Yeah?”

“I gotta run out for supplies, but the key is under the mat.” He hesitates for maybe half a second before adding, “I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me either, Stiles,” Derek says softly, and then hangs up.

Stiles grins down at his phone, grabs his hoodie, and carefully puts his spare key under the mat before he clatters down the stairs.

Abandoning  the Mantle- Jughead Jones one-shot

(A/N: I may do a second part, it is still up for debate.)

A frustrated sigh escaped you as you combed over the shelves of Riverdale library in search of your favorite book. Under library policy you could not extended the due date past three weeks leaving you to reluctantly return the book rather than pay the fine. However now as you searched frantically for the beloved book, you realized you should’ve just paid the fine. “Looking for this?” A well-known voice asked, causing you to freeze.  

   Yeah… you really should’ve paid the fine. Hesitantly you turned to see a familiar dog- eared book in the hands of an equally familiar beanie wearing boy… one that you were actively trying to avoid. “Jughead.” You acknowledged. 

    He waved the book at you taunting. “Dante’s Inferno, epic poem- political satire… certainly not what the dumb sister of Reggie Mantle, best friend of Cheryl Blossom would read. Let alone over and over.“ 

   You frowned, crossing your arms. "I’m not stupid. Now give me, my book.”    

 Jughead cocked an eyebrow. “Your book? You do realize this is the public library.”   

   “Oh please like you’re gonna read it.” You snapped, reaching for it.

      “For I am Beatrice who send you on; I come from where I most long to return; love prompted me, that love which makes me speak.” Jughead quoted, causing you still once again.  

    It wasn’t your favorite quote in the poem, nor was it even on your list of favorites, but it was a quote nonetheless. “You read it…” You mumbled softly.     

 He shrugged tossing you the book. “You wouldn’t shut up about it at the diner, so I figured I’d give it a look. You know, to stupidly try and impress a girl outside of my league.”    

  Guilt washed over you at his words. Memories of this summer flooded your brain as you clutched the book tightly. You had known Jughead since kindergarten, being in the same class as him. However you never paid any real attention to him, seeing how you were so focused on maintaining your status as one of Riverdale’s most popular.  

   It wasn’t until this summer that you began to notice him. Your parents made you and Reggie get jobs for the summer, claiming it to be good for character building. Reggie never got a job, but you found a nice serving position at Pop Tate’ s. Naturally this is where the two of you began your illicit affair.  

    “Jug, it isn’t like that.” You protested.

   “Really?” He retorted, “Cause from what I can tell the only reason, we’re not together is because you’re too embarrassed to be seen with me.”     

 You opened your mouth to argue, but nothing came out. He was right. As much as you liked Jughead, you were too worried about your reputation to risk a relationship. Jughead shot you a dirty look, shaking his head. “Thought so. Don’t worry about it, (Y/N). I don’t plan on wasting anymore of my time on you.”