now go wrap a train!

28  Unfiltered Thoughts From the Final Scene of “First Lady Sings the Blues” (Scandal #420)

1)      Finally!  Aggressive Liv is outchea! It’s about time!

2)      Hahahaha,  look at god.

3)      Russell, my dude, I knew this was not gonna end well for you. Once I saw Liv in that La Perla negligee, performing ‘sexy’, I was like…

4)      Guy, I noticed where your hands weren’t. They hovered, and I…I, frankly, Franklin, I laughed. ::Resists urge to make gif comparison::

5)      Actually, that negligee reminds me of

We know who was beside her, before Shonda decided to cut him out and sell us on Olivia redeeming herself by stopping the sexual affair with Fitz (222). Ok.

6)      Damn, Olivia is not playing with you. Got you in the mood;  the V hover the D, Douxbebe finger in your bullet wound (shout-out to Rowan for that); gun to your forehead.

7)      Curve that %$*@ like a bad toss/ let me get a #2 with some mac sauce/on the run tour with my mask off. Because… It’s Olivia, bitch, and this is what she’s about.

8)      Kitty on fleek/Pretty on fleek/That pretty [game] always keep them  #!**$ on geek … You B6-13 suckas, y’all in love with that coco. And that’s about it. That’s why I don’t care if you call her beautiful and sexy a thousand times. So what. 

9)      As a matter of fact, wasn’t it after  B6-13 agent, Jake Ballard, slept with Olivia (218) that he suddenly grew a conscience, and asked to be removed from the mission due to a “conflict of interest” (220)? But, you know, before his dick felt conflicted, he sure didn’t feel the same way about exploiting her. Oh, wait, where’s that Jake Ballard redemption storyline they tried to sell me between the concussion and the choke? Shit, I should really find that and dust it off. Maybe put it on the mantle piece.  

10)   Speaking of piece, even with one to his forehead, Russell could so easily flip that little slip of a thing, Olivia, over onto her back, and have that gun upside her temple. But he won’t, because she’s still the bosses daughter. And just like a certain kidnapper was instructed to leave Olivia unharmed, I’m sure Russell received the same instruction. But…

11)   So, Paul William Davies had you behaving in ways I find highly unsatisfying, just so we could get you doing this, Olivia?

12)   Hmmm, I got my whole entire life from this scene, but was it worth you being so careless and talking about B6-13 business while Russell was laying there all woozy from a flesh wound? You didn’t even know this dude, and you clearly didn’t want to know him except in the Biblical sense. Isn’t that  why there was all this ‘Alex’ and ‘Russell’ shit? Because you are not interested in trying with anyone else for real. You just wanna extract tangible benefits for your vagina and your loneliness. I get it. BUT, shouldn’t you be a little more careful? After all, you have already lived through your father sending in a dude to sleep with you. And here we are a-fucking-gain.  And I’m tired. You must be, too.

13)   Olivia’s vagina and B6-13 is the new ‘special relationship’. I mean, the head of the organisation uses his minions as tools of exploitation. That exploitation is through policing Olivia’s vagina. And Olivia has used her vagina (or the promise of it) to trump these dudes (316, 420).

14)   So, B6-13 is really a prostitution ring. Because, Jake and Russell seem to be better lays than spies. But are they plain or wavy Lays. Hmm, Russell must be the wavy type. Look at that hairline (shoutout to @sweetreats4eva, lol)

15)   I should take a moment of silence for all Alexuss (Oklin?) shippers who were pushing their boat into the high seas at the end of 419. Damn, bet they had #BlackLove life vests and everything. My condolences. Sike.

16)   Wooo, I am a bitch. No diggity, no doubt. Welp.

17)   Are those tulips on that painting above Olivia’s bed?

18)   I’m waiting for the think pieces that will be posted about how Black men are done wrong on Scandal. Because if Jake and Russell have the same immoral genesis with Olivia (exploitation), why does that chicken cutlet continually get protected, even after threatening Olivia’s life (314) and choking her to punish and embarrass her for double crossing him (316)? Why does only one of these dudes get to claim the victim mantle each and every time? Your father put me in a hole and broke every bone in my body because I disobeyed his orders and saved you from him! Your ex-boyfriend threw me in detention, and punched my face in because he (wrongly) thought I had his son killed, and finger banged you on a beach for two months! Your father tried to have me stabbed to death! Bitch, shut up. So many punches thrown your way, but only death will satisfy me.

19)   Heh heh, Russell, keep Rowan abreast of this  unpredictable development. Thirsty ass fool.  Whatever, you deserve it because you turned out to be an even worse spy than Jake King-of-stay-losing Ballard. Am I supposed to think Jake is a hero now? I hate the brand of masculinity with which that fucking plot device has been painted. All to get men to watch Scandal? Oh, wait, only certain types of men. Who fucking cares about those men! Why can’t a predominately female-supported show be bringing in ad dollars for products mostly aimed at women, who, actually spend more money than men. Why the fuck do we need to court these supposed ‘guy’s guys’ to this show? All this B6-13 shit y’all have done to gain male viewership is such bullshit. I hate it with the fire of a thousand suns.

20)   Katrina, stop thinking about Jake. Woo, woo, woo.

21)   Anyway, Russell, you can go. Your function is done. I wish she would shoot you right then and there, but I have a feeling that’s not the kind of wet work Olivia prefers to take place in her bedroom. Plus, that cutlet is laid up in those same sheets, so I’m sure bits of your brain didn’t end up on it.

22)   Ugh, this is the third attempt to stop Rowan (late S3, 407-409) and his gang of thugs. Please let this be the end of it. My patience is hanging by a thread. And if y’all perpetrate B6-13 and Foxtail on me in S5, that thread will be cut.


23)   B6-13 makes Olivia a less compelling character to me. What sense does it make if, against Rowan—as he loves to remind us–, Olivia will never win (407, 420)? Her only choice is to cow tow to his wishes for how he expects her to perform black femininity; or be in a perpetual war with him that destroys everyone she loves or for whom she has any semblance of feeling (Jake, that’s your category—just in case you didn’t realize). The end result is the same in either case: lack of control over her own choices and life.

24)   We’ve been dealing with Rowan’s patriarchal dictatorship, and gross misappropriation of funds toward such goals, since season 2B. Why are we still here, Scandal, if you are not going to bring this story line to a close? Olivia metaphorically shot her father in 409, thereby banishing from her life. That daughter didn’t exist to him while she was kidnapped, and he refused to help her (413), yet as soon as the girl is trying to resuscitate some semblance of normality (416), Rowan sends yet another emissary to sleep with/spy on this non-daughter of his? Why?

25)   Scandal, if Rowan turns out to be unconnected to this kidnapping story line, what was the point of bringing him back? I really wanted post-kidnapping Olivia to develop in a direction that did not see her spinning in circles over her father. Has she not learned to play chess as well as him? Even after her spectacular loss and time spent in Hell?

26)   I feel like you guys didn’t have a complete plan for season following the kidnapping. Whereas you usually pack 2-3 seasons’ worth of story-telling into a single season, you have been delivering in inconsistent drips and drabs, especially after the kidnapping storyline.

27)   This is one of 3 scenes from First Lady Sings the Blues that made me feel something other than fucking annoyed. The other two were: the Sally and Cyrus interview (quintessential Scandal); and the Olitz phone call (quintessential Scandal). Do you know why I got my entire life from the final scene? Not because of B6-13 shit, but because Olivia put some bite behind that bark. 

28)   Jo Morton has done a great job at making Rowan a really compelling character to hate, or praise (depending on one’s politics), but he has grown tedious, and so have his monologues. Where B6-13 is concerned (Shit, take Jake, too), here are some words I haven’t heard on Scandal in a long time: Shut. It. Down. Handle it.