I survived the family barbecue, all 6 hours of it! I kept myself to myself mostly, found I was a bit out of it and couldn’t bring myself to socialise, like I was disassociating sort of thing. I ended up cooking all the food on the barbecue as it was at the opposite end of the garden to everyone else. It’s taken it out of me and I had one or two moments I got overwhelmed but just popped to the toilet, told myself I was okay and got on. It scares me when I get like this because I feel like I’m not in control, like I’m a passenger but I’ll get through this.
I’ve now come to my room and just zoning out. I hope all are having a good weekend 💛
A list of ways Junkrat has tried to steal one of my orbs:
While meditating by the cliffs this morning, he crept up behind me and took an orb from its orbit. I let him get nearly back to the base before I recalled it.
Unfortunately, he did not manage to let go of the orb in time, so I ended up accidentally dislocating his shoulder. He became Dr. Ziegler and I’s first patient for the day. In addition to the dislocated shoulder, we found:
1 small cut on his chin
3 large abrasions on his hip, shoulder, and knee (from being dragged five feet across the ground before he finally clued in and let go of the orb)
1 mysterious bruise
8 miscellaneous burns
He tried to snatch an orb on his way out, but this time, I stared him down until he released it.
While I was preparing Dr. Ziegler’s lunch, Junkrat tried to pick-pocket an orb while walking past. I waited until I was leaving the kitchen before I recalled it, the orb rocketting out of his pocket and toppling him over in his chair.
After he picked himself up, he tried a dash and grab, but tripped over his own bootlaces before he made it three steps.
Let it never be said that Junkrat is not clever: just around 3pm, he realized that if he draped himself across my back and distracted me with cute animal pictures, I would be completely vulnerable.
He very nearly got away with it, but Dr. Ziegler pointed out that how odd it was for Junkrat to behave that way towards me. I had to chase him all the way to the engineering workshop, and tackled him through the doorway, but I was able to successfully retrieve my orb.
Junkrat had to return to the infirmary because he cracked his head rather hard and I worried about a concussion. His head was fine, but we found more scrapes, bruises, and minor burns.
Dinner arrives. Junkrat tries to replace an orb with an apple, but Hana sees him. Soon, everyone is sticking random objects into my orbit. This lasts past dinner and continues until Torbjorn storms in demanding to know where his scrap metal is. It is in my orbit, along with:
a coffee mug
a bag of D.Ritos
Genji’s faceplate and several shurikens
an entire case (unopened) case of Mt. Dew
twelve rainbow colored gel pens
a cellular phone
Hanzo’s hair ribbon
Hanzo’s arrows and the quiver (separate)
four Pachimari keychains
and one very confused and unhappy Ganymede
Reinhardt grabbed Torbjorn and tried to add him to the cloud, but I told him that it was either one angry dwarf, or many small objects, but not both.
They chose one angry dwarf.
I am so sorry, Torbjorn. I should not have laughed, but I did.
Junkrat tried to take an orb while Torbjorn was floating in angry circles around me, but Lena caught him and made him give it back.
There is still time tonight that he might yet try again, but it is getting later, and there are now several people in the room with me, so hopefully he will give it a rest. He looks very absorbed in a Rubik’s cube at the moment.
Okayyy. First day of the ‘100 days of productivity’ challenge. I did some Physics and finally got round to cleaning my room ><. Now that everything is tidy I can get down to revising and doing a lot more work starting tomorrow. Here’s a photo of my new bullet journal. I’m not too happy with this spread but it was fun to do and I’m loving the feel of the bujo ^ㅁ^
THE BEST THING HAPPENED TO ME HAPPENED TODAY AND I’M STILL SCREAMING-
So I was in algebra and it was the end of class, so I asked my teacher how his weekend was. He said it was great and asked me how was mine, to which I responded with, “I binge-watched my favorite show. I watched like two seasons.”
I got really nervous because I’m worried about people knowing I watch it and kept darting around it. Eventually I just thought ‘Screw it’ and just said-
“Ah it was a Lego show…”
AND GUYS LEMME TELL YOU HIS EYES WIDENED AND HE FROZE UP AS HE ASKED ME, “Is it NINJAGO?”
AND MY HEART WANTED TO DIE HE KNEW HE WATCHES IT- I SAID YEAH AND HE SAID “NINJAGO’S AWESOME!!! I watch it with my kid all the time- He loves it!!!”
HE THEN STARTED TO NAME OFF THE CHARACTERS AND THIS OTHER STUFF ABOUT THE SHOW AND SAYS HE WANTS TO SHOW HIS KID NEXO KNIGHTS SINCE ITS ANOTHER LEGO SHOW AND HE THINKS HE’LL ENJOY IT AND I AGREED RIGHT AWAY THAT’S A GOOD ONE TOO-
AHHH I WANTED TO CRY MY TEACHERS KNOWS NINJAGO AND WATCHES IT- IM GONNA BUY THAT MAN A ZANE KEYCHAIN HE DESERVES IT I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.
BEST DAY EVER- My algebra teacher’s like 5'4, possibly nearing his late 30s, bald, very loud, talks really fast, and honestly is a bit scary since he can roast literally anyone he talks to but knowing that he watches it with his son makes me really happy.
under the cut you will find 46 connection ideas. a good portion of these are “piggy backs” on usual connections that go a little deeper (give me some depth to that neighbors connection – what kind of neighbors are they!?) for those of you that want plots that are more than the bare minimum like myself but aren’t quite sure where to start!
there is one connection with a mention of alcohol, but i tried to keep the triggers at a minimum. the one with the trigger is labeled at the beginning of the connection so you can easily avoid it if necessary. if i’ve failed to mark a trigger, please let me know and i will update this immediately!
Can I have slow, long and teasing 2009!Phan smut please !!
this is latelatelate
i added daddy kink bc i’m trash
ew this is shit but it’s 2 am shut up
Dan watched carefully from the doorway as Phil sat down on the edge of his bed, stretching his arms above his head.
He bit at his nails; a bad nervous habit he had developed recently, and gazed at him from under the hair falling in his eyes.
Phil realized after a second that Dan was still just standing there, and raised his eyebrows, sitting up.
“Well c'mon,” he said, patting the spot next to him on the bed; oblivious. “Don’t get shy now, it’s not like you haven’t been in my room before.” He flashed Dan a crooked grin.
Dan let his gaze fall to his feet. Fuck, he was already blushing.
“Hey… what’s up?” Phil asked, finally noticing something may not be right with the younger boy. “Did I say something? I’m really sorry if I did, I-”
“No,” Dan said finally, his voice coming out shakier than he would have liked. “Y-You didn’t say anything. It’s n-not that.”
“So what is it?” Phil shifted on the bed, tilting his head to the side and arching his eyebrows in question. Dan swallowed.
“Do you not want to have sex with me?” Dan blurted, his eyes widening and his face going dark red the second the words were out.
There was incredibly painful awkward silence, as Phil stared at Dan and Dan tried not to cry from the tension.
“What?” Phil finally asked, his voice breaking. Dan avoided his eyes.
“Do you not… want to have… sex with me…?” He repeated, slower. “Do you not, like, see me that way?”
More silence, and Dan felt as if his head would explode.
He looked up, biting his lip and meeting Phil’s eyes.
“C'mere,” Phil repeated, motioning to him.
Dan inched forward, slowly edging towards Phil as if he was scared he would bite him. He moved to sit next to him, but Phil grabbed his wrist.
“Not there. Here,” he mumbled, tugging the boy down and onto his lap, so he was straddling him. Dan let out a soft gasp.
“Dan.” Phil cupped his face, holding his cheeks in both hands, and searched his eyes. “Of course I want to have sex with you.”
Dan blinked. “Y-You do…?”
“Of course!” Phil smiled. “I just didn’t want to… I didn’t want to push anything.” He shrugged. “I didn’t think you were ready.”
“Are you kidding?” Dan squeaked, placing his hands over Phil’s. “I’ve been ready since I met you. I’ve been really, really ready, and I’m tired of waiting.”
Phil laughed softly, letting one hand fall to Dan’s hip, the other staying on his face. “I just thought-”
“Well don’t think,” Dan breathed, pressing his lips to Phil’s abruptly. Phil froze, before melting into the touch. His hand moved to Dan’s lower back, pulling him closer and licking at his lower lip.
“Dan,” Phil gasped, pulling back and resting their foreheads together. Dan’s mind raced, filled with endless possibilities of what they could do, what he had wanted to do for so long. Maybe he was finally going to get what he wanted. “Dan, you have to be completely positive you want this. I am not stealing your first time, that would make me feel terrible.”
Dan blushed. Phil knew he was a virgin; it had been one of the first things they had talked about.
“I want it,” he whispered, licking his lips, his eyelashes fanning his pink-tinted cheeks. “I swear, I want it so bad. I want you.”
Phil slowly intertwined his fingers with Dan’s, sliding his hand into his. “I think we should go slow.”
Dan nodded, smiling. He wanted this, he really did, but that didn’t keep him from being nervous. Phil seemed so damn experienced, he was so much more mature in Dan’s eyes, he still couldn’t believe he was really in this situation in the first place. In Phil Lester’s bedroom, about to…
Jesus. His heart was just about jumping out of his chest.
“Thank you,” he muttered.
Phil hummed, nodding and mapping out a small area of Dan’s neck with his fingers, tracing the skin. Dan shivered, taking a shaky breath when Phil dipped his head, planting his lips to the spot and sucking.
“Oh…” he breathed, choking on the words. Phil wrapped his arms around Dan’s waist, holding him closer, and damn, he really seemed to know what he was doing.
Phil really didn’t know what he was doing, not a bit. All he knew was he had dreamed of having Dan in a situation just like this, and now that they were here, he was combining his pure desperate lust with his need to just kiss Dan’s skin as gently as possible, and making it into… whatever he was doing right now.
Phil nipped at Dan’s throat, and Dan tilted his head back, gripping Phil’s shoulders for balance, he whimpered, closing his eyes and focusing on the feeling of Phil’s mouth and lips and tongue on his skin. He was also focusing on not jizzing his pants.
Phil slid his hands over Dan’s bum, squeezing gently, and a high pitched moan fell from Dan’s lips. He immediately covered his mouth, his eyes widening; embarrassed.
“I-” he started, but Phil just shook his head.
“Do it again.”
Phil kneaded his ass again, sucking at the same spot on his neck, harder. Dan squeaked, moaning loudly and automatically rutting against Phil’s thigh.
“There we go,” Phil hummed, pinching Dan’s flesh and making him jump. “Good boy.”
Dan whimpered at the praise, moaning again and wrapping his legs around Phil’s waist, clinging to him.
“You’re shaking.” Phil kissed his nose, and Dan caught his lower lip between his teeth.
“Am I?” He whispered back. Phil nodded.
Phil gently tugged at the hem of Dan’s shirt, and Dan lifted his arms above his head. Phil pulled it off, tossing it aside and ridding himself of his own shirt.
In one movement Phil stood, holding Dan up and turning, pinning him to the bed so that now he was on top of him, hovering over him.
“I think you’re shaking too,” Dan breathed, kissing the side of Phil’s mouth.
“Sorry.” Phil laughed nervously. “I just really don’t want to mess this up.”
Phil bit his lip. “I could.”
Dan ran his hands over Phil’s shoulders, trying to calm his nerves. It helped to see that Phil was just as scared by this as he was, for whatever reason.
“But you won’t.” Dan pressed kiss after kiss on Phil’s cheeks. “Tell me something.”
“Hm?” Phil mumbled, his fingers gliding over Dan’s stomach.
“Tell me something. Like, something I don’t know.”
Phil chuckled breathily, running his fingertips over Dan’s button and tugging. “I’m slightly allergic to cats.”
“Really?” Dan put his hands on Phil’s, helping him unbutton his jeans, trying to ignore the fire in his stomach. He knew that already. He wasn’t sure there was anything about Phil he didn’t know.
“Mhm.” Phil nodded, his eyes brightening. He slowly and carefully pushed Dan’s jeans down his hips. “My middle name is Michael. But you knew that one.” He licked his lips. “I made a game when I was fourteen. I was really into programming I guess. Still kind of am.”
Dan gasped as Phil’s fingers brushed over his bulge, clinging to him. “That’s- so cool,” he breathed, digging his nails into Phil’s shoulders.
“Don’t back out now.” Dan whined softly. “Please, Phil, need you inside me.”
Phil moaned, nodding slightly and pulling at Dan’s boxers. Dan had no time to even think about being self conscious; Phil had his hand wrapped around Dan’s cock in seconds, his boxers clinging to his hips. Dan whimpered loudly, automatically bucking up into the touch.
Dan desperately tugged at Phil’s zipper, messily pushing his jeans down, and Phil removed them completely.
“How much,” Phil whispered, biting down on Dan’s neck, listening to his soft noises of desperation. “How much do you need me?”
“So much,” Dan gasped, scratching down Phil’s back. “So much, daddy, please-!”
A growl fell from Phil’s lips and he was sucking on his fingers, before pushing Dan’s legs up and circling his hole.
Dan whimpered, whining and squirming as Phil held him still, moaning when Phil pushed a finger in.
“Daddy,” he breathed again, and Phil groaned. He pumped his finger, digging his nails into Dan’s thigh with the other one.
Dan smirked, grinning at him and licking his lips. Phil leaned up to kiss him deeply, licking into his mouth as he carefully added another finger; stretching him.
Phil was not too quick with the stretching; it was Dan’s first time, and it really had to be perfect. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that Dan had chosen him for this…
He was always amazed that Dan liked him in the first place.
The next few minutes were filled with soft kisses and moans, clinging to each other like if they let go, it would all be over.
It took Dan a moment but he soon got used to Phil’s fingers, pushing back on them.
“Daddy, please,” he whimpered, meeting Phil’s eyes. “Want your cock, Phil.”
Phil took a shaky breath, and nodded.
“Are you sure you-”
“Yes, damn it!”
Phil laughed. “Alright, fine. Just making sure baby.”
Phil slicked himself up, lining up with Dan so that their hips were aligned, hovering over him. He kissed him softly, slowly pushing in.
Dan gasped, immediately tending up and clinging to Phil’s shoulders like his life support. Phil hummed, kissing his cheeks and all down his jaw.
“It’s okay,” he whispered. “Focus on me. Focus on the pleasure.” He slowly wrapped his hand around Dan’s dick, rubbing him in time to the thrusts, and soon he was moaning and squirming under his touch.
“Shit,” Dan hissed through his teeth. “Phil…”
“Good boy,” Phil mumbled, slowly thrusting, aiming for the places he knew would make Dan scream. “Doing so well, such a good boy for me, I- fuck…”
Dan moaned loudly, throwing his head back, practically drooling. Okay. Now he got it. It felt really fucking good.
Phil sped up, watching Dan’s face carefully and letting out quiet grunts ever time he moved. Soft noises of pleasure and the creaking of bedsprings filled the room.
“I-I can’t last much longer,” Dan whined, scratching his nails down Phil’s back. “Harder, go harder.”
And then Dan let out a noise that was probably the most angelic thing Phil had ever heard, and he was pounding into him, snapping his hips roughly as he fucked into him. Dan shrieked, a continuous wordless stream of moaning falling from his lips.
“I’m gonna- I love you, I love you so much, Phil, fuck-!”
Dan came over Phil’s hand and his stomach, whining loud and high pitched, and Phil gasped.
“Holy fuck,” he managed to groan, burying his face in Dan’s neck and letting go inside him, his hips twitching.
They stayed like that for a moment, Dan gasping for breath, his noises shaky, soaking in what he had done. Phil slowly pulled out, but they stayed tangled up together, all heat and sweat and pure exhaustion.
“I meant it.”
Phil looked up, brushing hair out of Dan’s eyes. “Hm…?”
“I meant it,” he repeated, grinning. “I really do love you, I don’t care if that’s weird.”
Phil’s entire face lit up.
“I love you too,” he breathed. “And I definitely don’t care if that’s weird either.”