Quiet - A Hamburr prompt
My entry for the Hamilton Summer fic exchange, written for @hambrr who asked for A) Hurt/comfort, and B)trans burr. Smut was optional which is good because I don’t write smut.
“Mister Burr sir!” Hamilton threw a hand up in greeting. “What are you doing tonight?” His smile was wide, eyes practically sparking with mischief. Hamilton was trying to be friendly. All Aaron could see was the grin of a shark.
“I’m going home.” Aaron said, refusing to rise to Hamilton’s bait- in the form of a riased eyebrow. Much had been said of Aaron’s apparent loner tendencies, none of it respectful.
Predictably, Hamilton’s smile turned to a superior smirk. Propping one hand against his hip, Hamilton gestured widely with the other. “You should chill with me! Have some fun for once!”
Aaron rolled his eyes. “I have plenty of fun at home. With my privacy. Thank you for the offer, though.”
It was a textbook response, playing a game of manners even while visibly making it clear he did not appreciate the mockery. Hamilton huffed and muttered out a fine, as he always did, and turned back. It had happened a good half dozen times before.
Only this time, Hamilton’s arm swung wide, accidentally smacking his hand against Aaron’s. Instantly, Aaron’s head flared, something almost painful but not quite.
–God, again-why do I keep tryi-it’s not like he hates me, rig-not asking for a date-but wouldn’t that be nice–
Then, blissful silence again. Aaron’s gaze shot down- Hamilton’s hand was drawn back, something almost sheepish on his face. “My bad,” He shrugged, turning sharply and walking away as if nothing had happened.
Aaron let out a long breath, one he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding. The thoughts had been fast and flooding. They hadn’t been his.
Not thinking, Aaron moved, stepping quickly around the corner out of the backroom and almost bowling over Peggy, just starting their shift. The storefront partition lay ajar, door to the outside world just swinging closed. Hamilton had already left the coffeeshop, ever eager to get on with the next part of his life.
People only ever heard thoughts projected from their soulmate. Sometimes, multiple soulmates- but they were still soulmates. And those had definitely been Hamilton’s thoughts. Aaron paused for a moment, considering the revelation. Then, he packed his bag, walked to the bus stop, and went home, resolving not to think about it.
After all, he’d been unable to speak with his soulmate ever since falling out of that tree when he was nine. They couldn’t possibly want Aaron now, after mourning his apparent death and coming to terms with it- and being a happy, active, sociable person like Hamilton. No, Aaron would do what he was best at.
Aaron would keep his mouth shut.
A week came and went, and Aaron was fine. His eyes kept flicking to Hamilton, no matter what Aaron tried. Thankfully, Hamilton didn’t notice, always busy with customers here, and throwing extra cookies in the oven there. It was fine, it was manageable. Aaron was doing Hamilton a favour, really. Freedom to choose your own partner, and all that.
Another week went by. His gaze still kept finding its way to his energetic coworker. Hamilton had always been interesting to look at, even before he knew-suspected. Only now, Hamilton was staring back. He’d noticed, somehow, though Aaron was careful to be discreet. Aaron couldn’t help it, picturing what it would be like if Hamilton really was his soulmate-of course he was, what else could it be, but Aaron would damn well hide behind the astronomically low probability and self delusions if he wanted to.
It would be terrible, Aaron told himself. It wouldn’t be nice, it wouldn’t feel like he could actually share himself with somebody again.
“Hey, Burr!” Hamilton raised his chin, a familiar challenge, but he wasn’t quite smiling this time. His lips quirked up, but he looked more confused than confident. “Do you want to hang? I have the new Mario.” Hamilton even spoke more quietly, less explosive and more tentative.
Despite that, a refusal was on the tip of Aaron’s tongue. Then, he remembered his staring, his repetitive, circular thoughts. Maybe he could get it out of his system. “You know what, fine, sure.”
Hamilton snorted. “That sounds enthusiastic. You know you don’t have to, I’m not actually trying to pressure you.”
“Oh, no,” Guilt spiked in Aaron’s chest. “I didn’t mean it that way. I just-”, Aaron flailed for an excuse, “I just like Mario.”
Hamilton stared. Heat flooded Aaron’s face. “Really,” Hamilton said slowly. “Mario was what it took?” He let out a sharp huff, finally grinning- warm and amused. “Well, I’m not complaining. Let’s go!”
Hamilton’s apartment was small and cramped, thought Aaron suspected as much, given he worked 40 hours a week on minimum wage. He could probably only barely afford it, too- not that Aaron could relate; for all they worked the same job, Aaron’s inheritance guaranteed a comfortable house without mortgage, if on the practical, small side.
“-Aaron? You good?” Hamilton waved a hand in front of Aaron’s nose. Aaron flinched back, returning to the present. He couldn’t afford to be absent minded.
“Fine, fine! Sorry.” Aaron scratched his neck nervously. Sweat was already gathering on his forehead. He stretched, as subtly as he could.
“I was asking what your favourite Mario was, since you like them so much.”
Aaron froze again, caught in his lie. His binder itched, discomfort that was normally nearly unnoticeable but suddenly unbearable in his nervousness. “Ah, Sunshine,” Aaron blurted. “I liked the overworld.”
Hamilton paused, then grinned. Aaron had somehow passed. “I love Mario Sunshine! Delfina plaza is so colourful, and the way you can just move around is so nice. Like, the jet nozzle of couse, but also that thing where you spray the ground in front of you, then jump on your belly and just cruise…” Hamilton trailed off. “That watermelon level is bullshit, though.”
Aaron only had faint memories of the game. But somehow, he did remember that part. “Yeah, that was the worst.”
“Hah! A negative opinion. I knew I’d get one out of you yet.” Hamilton pumped his fist in victory. It was cute, Aaron pretended not to think. “Now come on, there’s a coop level with our name on it.”
Hamilton flopped on the couch- the only seat in the cramped living area- unless Aaron wanted to sit in the kitchen area of the room. He wasn’t that rude though, and so Aaron sat down, careful to make sure their skin did not touch.
He still didn’t quite know what had happened, but he was certain it was caused by Hamilton’s hand touching Aaron’s own. They’d never so much as shaken hands before, it had to be that. Cautiously, Aaron picked up the controller. If he could just get through this, get the Hamilton out of his system, then he could go back to his life. It was a good plan.
Hamilton started the game up immediately, cheerful music filling the room. Aaron was only passively interested in video games, but it was fun. Hamilton laughed with the successes, groaned at the losses, and made an inordinate amount of conversation inbetween.
It should have been annoying, but the commentary, the asides that were only tangentially related to the game, were actually fun. Aaron found himself responding back, never a lot, and never too loudly, but it was more than he’d spoken in one sitting in a long time.
“Ahh, for someone who likes Mario so much, you’re really bad at this!” Hamilton chuckled as Aaron let Mario fall down another gap. It was infectuous- Aaron couldn’t help but laugh too.
“You can enjoy things you aren’t the best in, you know.” Aaron joked, smirking at Hamilton’s immediate nose wrinkle.
“I feel you,” Hamilton agreed, “But I’m way too competitve for that. I guess that makes us a decent team, though.”
Aaron froze. “Uh, I didn’t mean that in a weird way,” Hamilton sputtered. “Sorry, sometimes I just say things awkwardly. I just meant we work out well like this, uh..”
They did work well together. In video games and in work- it was why they both covered the same shift, it may just be a coffee store but no one else worked so efficiently as a pair. Aaron was being an idiot. Soulmates didn’t mean they had to be together or anything, but it did mean something. He wouldn’t just ‘get over it’.
On the other hand, Hamilton was sure to hate him. It would be much safer to just wait for another time. If another time ever came.
“Hey, Hamilton?” Burr said, putting his controller down on the coffee table.
“You know you can call me Alex, but yea?”
Aaron reached over and grabbed Hamilton’s hand. “Um, wha-” Hamilton startled, and then stopped as if he was hearing something.
-Can you hear this?- Aaron sent out, tentatively.
-um- Aaron heard back. -ohmygodohmygod-is burr my soulmate-what the fuck i thought mysoulmate was dead- you fucking asshole what the fuck what the fuck-
Aaron grabbed his hand back. “I didn’t realize until recently”, he said, instead of explaining.
“Why didn’t you ever talk back? Why are you ignoring me no-” Hamilton cut himself off. “You need to touch hands, don’t you?”
Aaron nodded silently. Hamilton nodded, bouncing his leg in thought. “Of course! I touched your hand a couple weeks ago, and you’ve been werid since. Why do you need touch, though? I know I remembered talking to you when we were younger.”
That, Aaron didn’t have an explanation for. “I fell out of a tree when I was nine, got a bad concussion. We all thought it was a rare side effect, that I’d never be able to telecommunicate again.”
“Oh.” Hamilton said. Then, he swayed. “Ohhhh.” he fell against the couch. “Oh my god, you’re my soulmate.”
“Sorry,” Aaron said, not sure what else he should say. “If it makes you feel better, I felt very bad about likely making you think I was dead.”
Hamilton didn’t speak for a long moment, resting against the couch, leg shifting up and down furiously. “I never thought you were dead,” He said, finally. “I always hoped. Everyone else thought I was being stupid, though.”
“Sorry,” Aaron said again.
Hamilton’s eyes snapped open. “No! Don’t apologize!” He swung upright again, arms flailing. “You know what this means, right?!”
“Uh,” For the first time in a very long while, words failed Aaron.
“It means this!” With one swift motion, Hamilton’s hands darted forward, clasping Aaron’s.
-We can talk like this now! Like I’ve missed for so long! I have to work on not projecting everything like I’ve always done though-
-I suppose so- Aaron replied hesitantly, not sure what to do. This wasn’t the reaction he was expecting.
Hamilton smiled brightly, as if Aaron’s single telecommunicated sentence meant the world to him. -We should practice more!- He projected. -Maybe go out sometime, since I finally found you and all-unless you don’t- I mean- if you want to you don’t have to-dammit im word vomiting- forget i said-thought-anything oh my god-
-yes- Aaron cut off the torrent of thought. -I’d like that. Really.-
Hamilton’s smile was wide. The grin of a soulmate. Aaron smiled back.