14 Days of Fears

day 4: monophobia (the fear of being alone)

She trembled beneath the layers of thick blankets; even though she was swaddled in numerous covering, her body was cold from the brisk air and the lack of heat Ashton normally provided. The two of them had gotten into a heated argument. Words were exchanged, things were thrown, and now, he was asleep on the couch while she was alone in their bedroom.

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Warning: hot hot hot chapter!


“I never felt stronger feelings for anyone else before. I think… I… I don’t know, I’m lost…”

I rub my temple, trying to gather my thoughts.

Stop beating around the bush . You do know. It’s obvious.

 I run my hand through my hair and sigh heavily.

“Mum, she’s the one.”

I see my mum’s face melting at the end of the screen of my laptop, laying on my desk.

Her hands fly to her heart as tears wet her blue eyes.

“Oh Jai! That’s… that’s wonderful. Chris! Chris, come here!”

My dad face pops in front of the webcam, filling the whole screen.

“What’s going on, son! Why the hell are you making your mum cry?”

Mum pulls him back, so I can see them both.

“Honey, our boy is in love! Tell him, tell your dad!”

I feel a bit uncomfortable first, I’m not used toopening my heart so deeply to my mum and dad, even though I have always felt free to talk to them about everything.

But thinking of it makes me so happy and proud, I could shout it from the rooftops.

“Dad, I’ve found the one. My everything.” My smile can’t get wider.

“Congrats son. Great news!” He winks at me.

It’s 3 a.m. here in L.A, 8 p.m. in Sydney.

I couldn’t find sleep, so I laid awake for hours in my bed as something I couldn’t put my finger on running around in circles in my head.

I pushed the sheets off of me, carefully got out of the bed without making any noise not to wake her, and headed to the bureau to Skype my mom.

15 minutes later, she makes me spit it out.

Smart woman.

As they both congrat me and give merecommendations and advice, 


my brain switches off and starts figuring out what my life could be like by her side.

- wedding, more kids, laughter and sex . Her. Happiness-

And opening the fucking door behind which all my fears are creeping.

Tons of questions start invading my brain.

Would she even marry me?

 She wasn’t married to the father of her daughters. Why would she have me?

I did that stupid thing with that stupid cunt. Maybe she would never trust me again. Or forgive me entirely.

I’m away half of the year, on sets anywhere around the planet. Is that something a sane woman wants as a life?  

A wife with a husband always gone?  Children without a dad?

How could I build a family with her and a career at the same time?

How selfish am I to think she will accept this kind of life?

What about the little ladies?

Maybe she would get bored with me and go back to France where her real family is waiting for her?

Shut up, you’re turning crazy.

She’s not ready yet anyway.

What if that’s all that she wants?

I hear footsteps tiptoeing behind me and close the laptop shut.

“Where have you been? she asks.

“I just woke up and found myself alone in bed.”

She wraps her arm around my chest and kisses my cheek.

“Everything’s alright?” She inquires.

I stretch my arms up, hooking her neck.

“Lost my sleep hours ago. Didn’t want to bother you, you were so beautiful while sleeping.”

What I skip telling her is that I spent half an hour just staring at her while she was asleep, marvelling at the simple view of her breathing , fighting my fingers not to brush the strain of hair crossing her delicate face. Fighting more not to wake her up and make love to her the rest of the night. But I still don’t know why.

“I used the time to call my parents. They say hello. Come closer and kiss me.” I plea.

I open my mouth and welcome her sweet tongue. Tastes like Heaven. Even more since I realized she is the one. She’s made for me. My other half. My better half. My perfectly matching puzzle piece. A hint of je ne sais quoi makes me stop kissing her.

“You’re like sugar babe. Makes me hungry.” It really does.

She laughs and shows me where her sweet taste comes from.

“I stole a peach in the kitchen looking for you. I saw some light coming from your office. And I caught you.

Tell me, what’s on your mind that keeps you away from our bed?”

She bites the juicy fruit, making some drops flow along her lips and chin, and further down trailing a way through her neck.

If only you knew…

Oh God, I want to lick that face.

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Where Your Loyalty Lies [1/??]

Summary:  Kamui’s kidnapping didn’t go as planned – She managed to get away and ended up at Silas’ doorstep. They were raised as siblings, but she has always felt different; her fangs and red eyes and urges to run amok, what did they all mean? Is going to the castle as the Crown Prince’s retainer help her find more clues? Will the war between Nohr and Hoshido be the answer to everything?

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Chapter 1: Vow

As soon as Lady Eleonore Lantanoir stepped on the herb garden, she had to take both hands to her face in horror. “Oh, no, poor things!” She exclaimed, the sight of the two bleeding children almost too much to bear. “Quickly, bring them in at once!” She gestured to the ground keepers who followed the maid’s scream.

Four of them nodded and crouched to pick the children up – since they were both hit by arrows, the men had to carefully carry them so as not to engrave the iron tips more into their bodies.

Eleonore turned around to the small crowd of servants and threw her hand to the side. “Do not just stand there and watch! Bring Winston here and go check your staves at once!” She ordered before she followed the ground keepers who carried the children to the nearby servant’s home.

The boy was already growing cold, his green hair almost grey due to the dirt. “My lady… Lady Kamui… Save her…” He mumbled, life ebbing away from his body through his wounds; the bed under him drenched in blood as soon as he was placed on it.

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