nottoo

fork on the road

i think of you when i catch a glance
of the sun rising over the dark ocean 
letting the mind wander like a dog without
a leash until i find myself in an abandoned
house with the roof collapsed wondering
what happened to the place we used to
call home

you were there.  in the kitchen.  for a brief moment.
i smiled before the weight of the past came crashing
down destroying the last remnants of my memory –
and you were gone.  burned & ruined like this house

warm memories drizzling with happy tears and laughter
reduced to echoes of footsteps into the dark i’m following
a ghost in the middle of the night with furious sounds of the
river crashing against the rocks

we fell from godhood into amnesia and our home almost
burned to the ground and all that’s left are relics of our past –
remembering hurts.  so we pretend nothing happened and go
about our day no longer finding the time to dream like ghosts
trapped in a machine

those comely snapshots of ancient ruins not too distant yet not
too close experiences lost but gained in wisdom buried steep in
my scars carried deep in my heart feeling apart like fleeting stars

but we’ll never be far

I have this anchor
hanging by these wings
of free-spirited petulant.
A deep well of mind but not
too deep enough for us to drown
in this secret and power
that laced together
like salt and pepper.

Behind this old Vagabond Hotel,
you’d snuck me into the museum
like I was art and you, the artist.
What’s real and what’s not
yet with you reality is tolerable.

Intriguing, how out of
the 7 billion souls 
you just happened
to be my favourite.

D C de Oliveira
09.25am
12.07.2017
Inspired by Gypsy S1E6 
- Vagabond Hotel
 

anonymous asked:

This might be a bit heavy but: headcanons for the RFA ++ with a nonbinary mc on a day they just want to run into the hills and scream because on that day they are feeling super dysphoric and being misgendered all over the place? Feel free to choose how out MC is to the characters (from not even out to their partner to out to all of them and it's all coming from other people.) Sincerely, an anxious nb person who is to scared to come out to even people they know would be accepting.

hi there, anon! sorry this took a while, but thank you for trusting me with this request! i’ll try my best to do this right. and know that it’s alright that you’re not ready!! take all the time you need. how you feel is what’s important and you can come out whenever you feel ready. or if you don’t want to, you don’t have to! ♥(ˆ⌣ˆԅ)

the rfa++ and i love you~ hope you like it!


zen

  • they were really uncomfortable at first, especially with zen
  • it wasn’t entirely his fault since they never met before and seven introduced mc by what was on their records
  • so, yeah. the rfa had been misgendering them for a week now
  • thing is, mc never told them they were nonbinary
  • they knew it wouldn’t be a problem - they all knew seven was genderfluid and all of them were totally accepting 
  • but they didn’t yet
  • and now they were on their way to zen’s house 
  • they were glad for the chance to see him and cheer him up, but they weren’t prepared for the misgendering that was bound to happen
  • the worst part is that they were already feeling super dysphoric
  • maybe they’d tell him tonight….or maybe not
  • too late to think more about it, they pulled up to the house 
  • zen opened the door, automatically smiling, “mc!” 
  • maybe they wouldn’t 
  • but then zen started calling them “princess” which was a really cute nickname, but it did not ease their dysphoria at all
  • it was on the roof that they broke
  • zen told them his life story, about how he felt about their connection
  • and about how “men are wolves, including me, and that he didn’t want to ruin a cute girl” 
  • mc couldn’t handle it anymore and just went, “but im not a girl”
  • *cue zen’s confused stare* “what-” “i’m not a guy either, zen”
  • he’s relieved, but more confused. “what do you mean, mc?”
  • “i don’t- those terms-” *sigh* “i’m nonbinary. i don’t identify as either a girl or boy and being called one by all of you has been driving me crazy-”
  • zen takes their hand, “oh my gosh, i’m so sorry mc! we’ve been making you feel uncomfortable this entire time! you don’t have to tell the others if you don’t want to, but i promise i’ll still do my best to cheer you up.” 
  • mc is kind of surprised
  • “oh, uh…do you use ‘they/them’ pronouns?”
  • mc is even more surprised, but nods 
  • “alright, just making sure, love” immediately switches nicknames what a catch 
  • he refers to them by their proper pronouns for the rest of the night, doesn’t use princess as a nickname anymore, and when he does mess up, he feels so bad and apologizes 10 times minimum

yoosung

  • people knew mc was nonbinary, but the rfa didn’t know 
  • the ‘but im not a girl’ option in the prologue? yeah.
  • so all this misgendering mc was really starting to get to them
  • they’ve thought of telling the rfa, but things have gotten so weird with zen breaking his ankle, to the stalker, plus the hacker
  • mc thought it wasn’t the right time
  • but one day, they couldn’t take it anymore
  • it was the day yoosung asked them to be his ‘pre-girlfriend’
  • they called him right after that
  • “oh, mc! i was just thinking about you..” he said, making mc smile
  • “hey, yoosung. i was thinking about you too. and i, uh, i have to tell you something”
  • “anything, mc.” “can you please not call me your girlfriend?”
  • oh wait. there might have been some misunderstanding there…
  • “oh…o-of course. i mean, now i’m kind of glad i asked in a ‘pre’ way..”
  • “no no no, i still want to date you, yoosung! that just came out wrong-”
  • “..then what did you mean?” “i meant, i don’t like the term ‘girlfriend’. i’m non-binary.” 
  • there’s silence for a bit before yoosung speaks again
  • “you scared me! I thought I made the biggest mistake of my life!”
  • “oh my god, that’s not it at all!” 
  • “of course i won’t call you my girlfriend! do you like ‘partner’ better? or…’date mate’?” 
  • “hm..i’m not really sure, actually..”
  • “no no, i got one” “what is it, yoosung?”
  • “i’ll call you ‘my love’.” 

jaehee

  • today was not the day for this
  • the cafe was loaded today, it was one of their biggest days of the month!
  • but all these new customers meant all these people saying “thank you ma’am” and “hello miss!” to mc
  • which didn’t really get to them on a normal day, but they were already feeling the dysphoria since this morning 
  • and it was really slowing their progress
  • which is how jaehee noticed something was wrong with them
  • she was walking over to ask mc about it when she heard the person they were serving speak, “have a nice day, ma’am!”
  • ah, that’s it. 
  • during their break, jaehee pulls mc to the side and smiles. “let’s go outside, hun.” 
  • mc nods and they go outside first 
  • jaehee meets them with a pastry to share and two water bottles
  • “it’s busy today..” mc says, taking the water bottle from her
  • “it is. which is good for business..but not for you, huh?”
  • mc looks up at jaehee, who sits beside them
  • she leans over to kiss mc’s head 
  • “i know you, sweetheart. do you want to take the rest of the day off?”
  • “jaehee, i can’t do that. and i can’t leave you, either.” “mc, we own the cafe. it’s alright. the others can handle the work.. you’ve trained them well”
  • mc smiles and the two go back inside, jaehee telling the staff they were going home. mc wasn’t feeling well. and they understand
  • as they walk out, one of the employees calls out to them, “feel better, mc! you amazing person!”
  • jaehee grins. mc feels a bit better already”

jumin

  • mc was terrified of telling jumin
  • he was so exposed to the press and they weren’t ready for the questions that were bound to come 
  • but all of jumin’s staff - and jumin - kept calling them ‘she’ and ‘her’ 
  • and all of this misgendering was driving mc crazy
  • at this point, they wanted to yell at the staff members. but they didn’t deserve that
  • so they went to Elizabeth
  • “Elizabeth, do you think it’ll be such a big deal? will the press start more rumors? will jumin…i don’t know, change his mind about me?” they asked, petting Elizabeth
  • they got a ‘meow’ in return
  • “he would, wouldn’t he?” they sigh
  • “why would i change my mind about you?” jumin says and mc turns around
  • “honey-” “what’s wrong, mc?” 
  • well now they have to spill. jumin won’t let this go
  • “….can i get a glass of wine first?”
  • jumin is actually more curious than anything
  • he asks a bunch of questions. about pronouns, if they’re really comfortable with all the dresses he bought them. what really makes them feel dysphoric, everything.
  • it ends well, but there’s still the press to worry about. though jumin says that’ll be a process. as for the staff, mc says they’re willing to come out to them
  • the next day, mc goes to the office with jumin. and they’re a reasonable distance away from jumin so he asks one of the workers
  • “can you call my spouse over here?” the worker is like, “…your wife, mr. Han?” “no, my spouse.”
  • mc hears him and smiles 

707 / luciel / saeyoung

  • the door closed with a slam, followed by a loud groan from mc
  • saeyoung spun his chair around. “bad day, 606?” 
  • they walk over to him and he stands up to be engulfed in their hug
  • “i’m tired of people calling me a girl.” they mumble into his shoulder
  • he smiles sadly and strokes their hair
  • “ah, one of those days.” he says
  • “yeah..I feel like just running and screaming it out, you know?”
  • “we could do that, you know.” 
  • mc looks at him confused, but he’s dead serious
  • so they get in one of his cars and saeyoung drives them to a secluded place
  • they both get out of the car and saeyoung gestures to the empty field
  • “run and scream to your heart’s content, hun~”
  • so…mc does. 
  • they run to the middle of the field and just yell it out
  • “i wish people would stop misgendering me! i’m nonbinary, for christ’s sake!”
  • and they fall to sit on the ground
  • saeyoung walks over to them, clapping. he sits beside them
  • “you feel a little bit better?” they nod and move to put their head on his shoulder
  • “it sucks sometimes.” “you don’t need to be out now..you can be out whenever you’re ready. and we can start small.”

v / jihyun

  • they were out on a date, just walking around and stopping by whatever place caught their attention
  • and all kinds of people were misgendering mc. 
  • they did when they bought something, were welcomed into the store, leaving the store.
  • and mc was trying to have fun with jihyun, but all this was getting to them
  • they kept moving closer to jihyun, their dysphoria growing
  • he noticed pretty quickly and pulled them to whisper in their ear
  • “let’s go home, angel.” 
  • when they get home, mc sighs. “i’m sorry, jihyun”
  • “there’s nothing to apologize for, i want to make sure you’re comfortable.”
  • “but you can’t go up to everyone who talks to me, love”
  • “i can if i try hard enough.”
  • jihyun please
  • “but for now…i can make you a cup of tea and tell you how much i love you. that you’re the most wonderful person i know…”
  • mc starts blushing. “V-” “yes, my nonbinary angel?”
  • “jihyun-” “just you watch, my love”
  • he keeps true to his word, with mc’s consent of course, and tells everyone who talks to mc

saeran

  • “ah, there she is. rfa’s princess.” he says, after breaking through the window
  • mc visibly winces 
  • “don’t worry. i won’t hurt you..for now. i’m here to take you to paradise.”
  • “no, that’s not it at all, look-”
  • lmao mc isn’t even scared
  • “what?-” saeran starts to ask
  • “can you maybe not…refer to me as a princess? and not use ‘she’ pronouns?”
  • saeran blinks. “what?”
  • “i’m nonbinary.” “….can you explain that?”
  • they end up having a talk in the apartment instead of saeran taking them anywhere
  • and saeran learned a lot. he understands, asks questions, and makes sure he’s getting their pronouns right
  • “…have you told the rfa?” “….no”
  • “i’m sure they’ll listen.” “weren’t you supposed to take me somewhere?”
  • he stands up and shrugs. “I can come back. give you time to think about if you want to tell them first.” 
  • mc decides to test him a bit. “come back for rfa’s ‘princess’?”
  • saeran smiles and shakes his head. “no…I’ll come back for rfa’s savior”
  • and then he leaves 
Describe your OC meme : Jake Kadam edition

2: their smile

4: their insecurities

public speech?XD being in the spotlight..that mostly leads to him being chased out of town for looking like Handsome Jack…poor babu..

6: how they deal with grief

 punch something on his way of   disappearing  for a a day or 2 with NoMercy(companion skag)

8: what they like to eat

hes definitely not a picky eater…survival is everything .

10: their fashion sense


12: their romantic life

Originally posted by drunkcoworkers

what romantic life?

14: how they react to burning their tongue on food

16: their dreams

to get off of this stinking rock and go somewhere where noone knows or recognizes him.

18: how they sleep

hes a light sleeper ,always ready to fight!

20: their reaction to a mystery love letter

Originally posted by lunasghost

he’d be extremely shy…and couldn’t believe it…not used to being shown affection..much..

22: what they’re like on two hours of sleep

thats a lot of sleep,yawn and carry on

24: what motivates them

that somewhere up there, there’s a place for him…

A Weary Dreamer

One to barter
one to borrow
two parts joy
three parts sorrow
Solomon said
there is a season
yet I find
no rhyme or reason
in a world
where children die
I’ve learned I’m not
too old to cry
while we sell dirties
with delight
our mother’s teardrops
fill the night
the masses riot
kill the king
fuck his birthright
steal his bling
all you did
and did not know
is wisdom learned
in letting go
after a lifetime 
of wars and cancers
a weary dreamer
has no answers

You are everything I want
‘Cause you are everything I’m not 

And we lay, we lay together just not
Too close, too close
(How close is close enough?)
We lay, we lay together just not
Too close, too close

|| A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR PERCICO WEEKEND ||

Jimin’s Eye Smile Appreciation Post

requested by anonymous

this angel

hes just too precious

do we deserve him?

no

definitely not

too cute for the world

he has one of the most genuine smiles in the world

have you ever seen anything more beautiful

no

no you havent

the most precious bean

what a cutie

i hope he keeps smiling

because its a gift to the world

he himself is a gift to the world

actual angel 

(picture credits to owners)

jowiththeflow  asked:

hey! if its nottoo much trouble, whats a quick rundown of your texture process? more like uv unwrapping on to a gradient or palette or hand painted textures in ps

i actually do both of those, depending on the model. to take examples from the stuff i’ve posted on here, for the dog and person in Year of the Dog, the UVs are unwrapped on a small palette. for things like the environments in Year of the Dog and some of the bird models i’ve been doing it’s all handpainted in PS

// You Are Not the Sun.

You’re not too good for me.

You’re not
too good
for me.

I used to swear you were,
tight roping between pride and anxiety,
showing off pictures.
Yes, this is my girl!
But in the back of my mind I knew that
one day, you would wake up.

We are not the same.
You stub out cigarettes on your bare stomach
and think no one notices the scars,
and I lose my footing between shots of jack
and bury my fist in the wall.

I’ve met your friends.
We ate midnight dinners and laughed our way
through stupid movies
while you rested your head on my lower back;
your hair smelled like summer that night.
Your hair smelled like summer that night.
Your hair smelled like summer,
and I told myself you were the sun.

I don’t remember
when I realized
that you are not the sun,
but I’d already revolved all my planets around you.
One morning I woke up,
and your hair smelled like shampoo.
Your chin dug too sharply into my shoulders. One morning
I realized
that you had stopped giving off heat.

We became just another story.
I could reduce our relationship to five funny anecdotes,
starting with You’ll never believe the time that…
and Once, I dated a girl who…
It all ended so fast.
In retrospect, it didn’t end fast enough.

I don’t remember when I realized
that you are not the sun.
But one cloudy day I rolled over,
searching for light,
and all I found were your eyes closed against my pillow.

I like it better this way.

Made with SoundCloud

why your fav isak valtersen is problematic 

  • pretends he’s a fuckboi but:
    •  watches a sappy romance movie and cries about it 
    • is literally the s o f t e s t person. have you seen his face when he’s looking at even? amazing 
  • stalks his crush on the internet before he even speaks to him??? how did he even find Even i can’t remember but that takes Dedication
  • judges people for liking pop songs but likes all of them (literally asked jonas to play “i’m yours” and sang his heart out to it. isak why are you lying
  • plays phone games on full blast volume in bathroom stalls to get away from social events 
  • has no Chill 
  • questions whether he should send an emoji on a text or not
  • too cute too pure 
when you were the sun

You’re not too good for me.

You’re not
too good
for me.

I used to swear you were,
tight roping between pride and anxiety,
showing off pictures.
Yes, this is my girl!
But in the back of my mind I knew that
one day, you would wake up.

We are not the same.
You stub out cigarettes on your bare stomach
and think no one notices the scars,
and I lose my footing between shots of jack
and bury my fist in the wall.

I’ve met your friends.
We ate midnight dinners and laughed our way
through stupid movies
while you rested your head on my lower back;
your hair smelled like summer that night.
Your hair smelled like summer that night.
Your hair smelled like summer,
and I told myself you were the sun.

I don’t remember
when I realized
that you are not the sun,
but I’d already revolved all my planets around you.
One morning I woke up,
and your hair smelled like shampoo.
Your chin dug too sharply into my shoulders. One morning
I realized
that you had stopped giving off heat.

We became just another story.
I could reduce our relationship to five funny anecdotes,
starting with You’ll never believe the time that…
and Once, I dated a girl who…
It all ended so fast.
In retrospect, it didn’t end fast enough.

I don’t remember when I realized
that you are not the sun.
But one cloudy day I rolled over,
searching for light,
and all I found were your eyes closed against my pillow.

I like it better this way.

72. Your family is moving
Dan: The last of the things were packed in the car and the front door of the house was locked, all ready for the new owners. You had lived here your entire life, and now, right before your last year of school, your mom gets a new job in Scotland. Trying to make use of every last second, you and Dan were sitting on your front step. “So… Scotland. I’ve never been there before.” “Then I guess you’ll have to visit,” you smiled. “You know I would anyway,” he laughed. Dan had already purchsed plane tickets for a surprise visit over Christmas as well as your birthday. Your parents began walking over to the car after saying goodbye to the neighbors. “Well, I guess this is it,” you whispered. You and Dan both stood up. You told yourself you wouldn’t get emotional, but you could feel a lump form in your throat. Without another word, you hugged each other tightly. Dan noticed your erratic breathing and rubbed your back. “Stop. You’re gonna make me cry,” he whispered. He paused. “Too late,” he laughed. You let go once your dad called out to you saying it was time to leave. Both of you had tears brimming your eyes. "See you later, I guess,“ you said quietly, walking towards the car. He waved and replied, "see ya.” Your family wasn’t even thirty minutes down the road when Dan texted you: miss you already you turnip.

Phil: It was after school, and you and Phil decided to go to Starbucks. “So, uh, my dad got a job,” you said while stirring your drink. "That’s good!“ "Well, yeah. But it’s in Liverpool.” Phil thought for a moment. “That’s not too terribly far,” Phil reasoned. “It’s about an hour,” you shrugged. Neither of you said anything for a while. You had been dreading telling Phil all day. You two had been friends your entire life, so not having him there was going to be extremely strange. “When are you guys leaving?” Phil asked quietly. "When the school year ends.“ "But… that’s in three weeks.” “Yeah,” you looked down at the floor. "They’re making you finish your last year over there?“ You nodded. "I tried reasoning with them by saying how ridiculous it is to move to a new school your last year, but they wouldn’t listen.” Another long silence, accented by both of you sipping from your drinks. “We’re still planning on applying to the same universities, right?” You nodded again. “We’ll see each other all the time then.” That was Phil for you, always looking on the bright side. And on the other side of the spectrum was you, the pessimist. “But that’s still over a year away.” “We’ll still be able to see each other on the weekends until then,” Phil suggested. “That’s true,” you smiled. “Hey! You’re smiling!”