nothings

1/08/15
havent made one of these in a long long long time but seems like august is a fresh start and the past few months have been nothing but crap so gonna get back in the groove and where else to start but with a blog post putting all the negative energy behind me (??) .. been thinking a lot over the past few days and just had a good cry because everything has just been so gross recently and i need to change! i leave for boston in 4 days followed by nyc and all i can do is sit and worry and cry because i feel so sleep deprived and anxious. trying to ignore how disgustingly huge i feel but its so so hard :( literally noticed how all of my friends are ignoring me or don’t really care and how i don’t blame them because i’m such a horrid person, i’m so annoying and a waste of space! not to mention the stress of results in just under a fortnight i feel like such a disappointment and a failure and i cant even push myself to talk about it and to have somebody understand me for once and not ignore my feelings no matter how pathetic they are , hate myself even more for complaining when i’m such a brat who should just suck it up when this is all my fault in the first place .. and the cherry on top of the cake is that boys suck and i’ll never be good enough for the guys i like SO dumb i cant even deal , my head is a total mess :((((( BUT BUT BUT august is new and real and here and i’m ready for it. the gross rant about lyfe is over and its time to get a grip and feel good man