in the grand scheme of things, my heartache was made out of the framework of a hyperactive teenage mind. it was fashioned out of the scaffolding of repeated rhyme schemes and off-tempo murmurings. my suffering was man-made. but it’s still mine, all fucking mine.
the church bells that clang outside my bedroom window shake my body until i feel the cold slither of a soul that is not mine seep and intertwine into my rib cage. until i speak in tongues with my tongue wrapped around words that were never meant to be anything but daydreams.
there are pills in one hand.
there is terror in my eyes.
there is a black pit inside my stomach.
a burning in my esophagus.
there are pills down the sink.
there is a body, lying on a bathroom floor, in the fetal position.
i run faster than the wind, faster than the shouts that caution me to slow down, faster than my mind has time to process the feeling of my feet hitting the sun-baked concrete. my teeth rattle upon impact. my hair wraps itself around my necklace. my heart seizes, stops, and then keeps beating.
suburbia can kill, ya’ know.
lack of love can really fuck you up until you’re spewing blood all over your brand new church shoes.
this is what loss can really do to you.
so i’ve had this in my drafts for ages and i just never got around to completing it, but then i saw @malteseboy ‘s post and was reminded that, instead of sitting around doing nothing during my summer break, i could actually finish this list i started almost seven months ago so here it is
I think the world got easier to understand once I realized that the night I found God, all dressed up in her Friday night best and eyes that glimmered like pennies in a wishing well, is also the night I met the devil; he was down on his luck and down on his knees, praying to fall back into God’s good graces again.
The heat between us drips and slides onto the floorboards of the two-seater. My breath smells like old, mint gum, and my lipstick has sank into the cracks of my lips. His hands grip at the leather of the driver’s seat, and his eyes dart back and forth between the road and the promise of what’s to come in my mine.
The Saturday night fever has reached its peak as the kids from the community college journey back to the land of sex and sleep. To be honest, there are many things I should of kept out of my mouth tonight, but, I’m glad I let the words dribble out my mouth and let loose into the air. I’m glad I drank cherry sprite instead of that lime-a-rita bullshit. I’m glad that this is a night I get to remember without associating it with the scent of vomit and cheap perfume.
When the water looks cool and inviting, don’t dive in head first.
You’ll get swept up in a current you weren’t expecting, and your body will be ripped apart by its beauty and strength.
Instead, look at it from a far. Let its cool and calm demeanor tantalize your imagination and captivate your sense of sight.
Not everything must be touched to be appreciated.
(But when that water seems choppy and volatile, throw yourself to its mercy. Touch until you’re both satisfied, until the drought in your mouth has been quenched.)
When I’m with you
the sky melts
into a scene
and the pressure
of last night’s
blunders and mishaps
When I’m with you
#when you’re doing your makeup in the midst of battle because you wanna look good af for a cute girl #but then the girl you are trying to impress comes at you in a rage because you tried to get one of her friends killed #mood deminished #got glammed up for nothing #what a shame #i’ll add this to my list of notes of “how to not impress girls from the sky” #anyways #onto more important things #do you like my makeup Klark?
This Still Star-Crossed Storyline Is So Depressing
Me: *side eyes title* *reads article* *rolls eyes* Are you freaking kidding me?
Me: ‘So Depressing’ is the blatant sexual exploitation of women on Game of Thrones, including the gratuitous rape of Sansa Stark that was not in the books.
Me: ‘So Depressing’ is Abbie Mills getting sidelined on her own show, Sleepy Hollow, in favor of more Crane family.
Me: ‘So Depressing’ is critics dismissal of fun genre fair in favor of grimdark prestige shows when in the Golden Age of television there is no reason not to celebrate it all. (Thank you WIRED for that great article!)
Me: Let me fix that title for you. *scratches it out and writes a new one*
Still Star-Crossed Powerfully Celebrates The Agency Of Women Of Color
(because I had this conversation with my friend and I feel like I should post this here)
1. Skeleton War will be an actual thing.
2. Your pet is dead? Not for long!
3. Receiving creepily adorable Valentine’s Day presents (eg. “Human blood is red, but some of their veins are blue. Last year I gave you my heart, so this year I’ll give you two.”)
4. Death puns.
5. You’ll be totally safe during a zombie apocalypse thanks to “Control Undead”
6. You’re dating someone who is totally capable of creating an invincible army of undead. I mean, come on.
7. UNDEAD DRAGONS.
8. They’re great if you need to hide a body.
9. Skeleton puns.
10. They’re massive help if you’re struggling with biology..
11. They can fix that poor little dead bird you found yesterday at the park.
12. “‘Till death do us part” no longer applies.
13. Neither does ‘YOLO’
14. They usually dress in black, so if you like that too, you can steal their clothes if you want. (oversized hoodies that smell a little like death, but only a little ftw)
15. They can make a few skeletons/zombies do a wide variety of silly dances to cheer you up.
17. They may tell you what happens after death.
18. Hearing them do an impression of Frankenstein when raising the dead. (”IT’S ALIIIIIIIIIIIVE”)
19. You know the skeleton rave from the music video of “Hey Girls, Hey Boys” by Chemical Brothers? Yeah.
20. Watching horror movies together and hearing them complain about how such-and-such is a wrong way to raise the dead, and anyway that’s not how the human skeleton works etc. etc.
21. “Are you a graveyard? Because I’m dead inside and want to bury myself in you.”
22. The whole ‘skulls, bones and old books’ aesthetic
23. Want to meet J.R.R Tolkien? Terry Pratchett? Christopher Lee? No problem!
24. The same as above, but with family members.
25. Hearing random facts about the human body/bones/life/death etc. everyday.
26. They can probably bring back extinct animals as long as they have the skeletons (I think)
27. “Jurassic Park: Skeleton Edition”. Only the dinosaurs aren’t trying to kill you.
28. Quiet walks through the graveyards.
29. Throwing a mini zombie apocalypse on Halloween and/or April Fools.
30. Since they stay among the dead for so long, they usually appreciate any living creature staying close to them. (ie. extremely adorable cuddling sessions. Necromancers make the best cuddlers, shut up.)
hi!!! who are some of your fave hyung line blogs?? i need more to follow!
I have A LOT of jin mutuals (cuz well u know…) so there are lots of Jin blogs here lol. I’m kinda busy right now so I didn’t have time to think and probably forgot people but if you want more recs let me know!
But, well, my friend watched X-men some days ago and we both want to draw fan-arts now. hard. I’m a bit busy with comms so I can draw NOTHING SERIOUS AGain. It was emoji meme and we picked characters from my list and emojis randomly… SO I MADE LOGAN CRY