nothing lasts but nothing is lost

Some Civil War statistics.
  • # of times someone addressed Sam by name in the first 15 minutes: 5.
  • # of times Steve called Sam by name in the first 15 minutes: 3.
  • # of times anybody said Sam’s name (first and/or last) in the entirety of the movie, whether directly or in reference to him: 16.
  • # of times Steve said Sam’s name in the entirety of the movie: 8… always by first name.

(To clarify, on the 16 occassions Sam’s name left anyone’s mouth in 2.5 hours of film, it was from the mouth of one Steve Rogers 8/16, or 50% of the time.)

  • # of times anybody addressed Steve in the entirety of the movie, both directly and indirectly (using either Steve, Cap, Rogers, Captain, Captain America, or any variation thereof): 38.
  • # of times anyone called for Steve by title or name in the first 15 minutes: 0.

(45 minutes into the movie, Sam and Steve were tied for how many times anyone called them by name (or title, in Steve’s case).)

  • # of times Sam addressed Steve directly in the entirety of the movie: 5…2 using Steve, 3 using Cap.
  • # of times Bucky said Steve’s name in the entirety of the movie: 3…always by first name.
  • # of times anyone just called him Steve: 11.

(So whenever someone just said Steve, 2/11 times it was Sam, 3/11 times it was Bucky.)

  • # of times anybody addressed or referenced Bucky by name, title, or variation thereof in the entirety of the movie: 28.
  • # of times Steve said Bucky’s name in the entirety of the movie: 4…1 using Bucky, 3 using Buck.

(That is 1/7 of the aforementioned occasions.)

  • # of times Sam called Bucky anything resembling his name: 0. never, not even once, like damn sam why can’t we be friends.

@steveandsam @stevesamtrash

I realized you weren’t worth it anymore. You were hurting me way more than making me happy. I was a lonely late night option for you, while you were the only fucking boy I wanted. It wasn’t worth the pain of seeing you in the halls and saying nothing to each other, but talking to each other over a screen later that day. It finally hit me; I was nothing to you at all, I was only comfort to you because you knew I’d be the only girl to tell you “I love you endlessly.” after putting me through complete hell. I left first this time, instead of you making up some poor excuse to leave for another time. I lost count of how many times you left after four. For now, I’m locking that fucking door. Yes, I will have nights where I picture the last time you stood in that doorway and think about the time you looked me in the eyes and begged for my forgiveness and asked me to take you back, but you no longer deserve my attention. If you got a taste of all the pain and stress you’ve put me though, you’d call all your “heartache” a scrape on the knee, while my pain is more painful than breaking every god damn bone in your body. You were bruising every last inch of my heart and brain and I kept saying “I can’t give up on him.” You kept saying “I’m sorry, I promise this won’t happen again.” but “this” happened way too many times. After twelve fucking months of being addicted to you, I’ve decided to go cold turkey. This is why I’ve blocked you out of my life. Even though I can’t block you out of my thoughts, I made it impossible for you to hurt me any longer.
—  (J.M.S)

It’s a Thursday night and I’m lounging in bed with red wine and Belgian dark chocolate thinking about how I knew I was a woman and no longer a girl the day I decided that I love myself more than any lover I have had or will have.

Today someone from my past added me on Facebook, a Scorp Libra rising Leo moon that I still consider to be my first love and one of the sweetest, if not one of the most ill-timed and painful. I chased him for years after we lost contact because I was empty and no one told me that you can’t make homes out of human beings. I haven’t heard his voice in years. We haven’t spoken yet and might not even at all because it’s Facebook and Facebook means nothing but I’m sitting here thinking about how sometimes life hurts and sometimes through that pain you find the greatest joy. It’s okay, all of it’s okay, everything is okay and everything unfolds the way that it must no matter how many claw marks I leave embedded in everything I have lost and no matter how many times I have to be taught to let go.

Having A Blast
  • Having A Blast
  • Green Day
  • Dookie

Green Day - Having A Blast

I’m taking all you down with me
Explosives duct taped to my spine
Nothing’s gonna change my mind

I won’t listen to anyone’s last words
There’s nothing left for you to say
Soon you’ll be dead any way
No one is getting out alive
This time I’ve really lost my mind and I don’t care
So close your eyes
And kiss yourself goodbye
And think about the times
You spent and what they’ve meant
To me it’s nothing

You might not think a cheeky modernization of a Victorian lesbian vampire gothic horror novella would be the perfect heir apparent to Jane Austen. But then you haven’t met Carmilla.

In the wake of the success of the

Lizzie Bennet Diaries

, the wildly popular web series based on

Pride and Prejudice, YouTube was inundated with similar spinoffs from literature fans inspired to follow in the LBD’s footsteps. There was the modern-day Jane Eyre. The modern-day Anne of Green Gables. The modern-day Emma. The modern-day Edgar Allen Poe. The modern-day Sense & Sensibility. The modern-day Frankenstein. The most recent of these, Nothing Much To Do, is a cult hit adaptation of Much Ado About Nothing which recently raised $18,000 on Kickstarter to fund a sequel series based on Love’s Labour’s Lost.

But out of all the literary webseries to pop up in the last year or so, the most popular one of all is also the most surprising: Carmilla, based on the 19th-century gothic horror of the same name by J. Sheridan Le Fanu.

A lesbian vampire classic has taken over YouTube - The Daily Dot

Little girl lost

Ang sighed as she hung up the phone. The last of the BV project was being shut down. With the death of Dr. Malcolm, there was no one who knew anything about rifts. All that they once had was gone. She had nothing, not even her stupid fan fics to keep her spirits up anymore.

After the rifts had closed things had started to disappear. At first Ang could convince herself she had misplaced things but then Kinzie reported her joint work she once did with her other selves was now gone. Nothing from Bossville remained anymore and Ang had lost hope as they struggled to hold on to the memories. Maybe it was the time loop that was affecting their memories but without something to remind themselves, they were slowly forgetting. She struggled to recall her friends nowadays. She couldn’t remember why she had named her dog Georges anymore…

As if her thoughts summoned him, Georges ambled over to her, his muzzle almost completely grey with his advancing age. He wagged his tail beating it against the counter and her leg as he found the most comfortable spot. She petted him as she picked up her pen trying to get Eris’ horns just right. She couldn’t remember the exact angle of them anymore and was terrified to admit she couldn’t remember the sound of her voice anymore either.

A loud band distracted her and stomping of feet in high heels clanking on the hardwood floor let her know who was about to storm into the kitchen.

“I will not be followed by that green goblin anymore!” The shriek made Ang’s head start to throb.

“Évelyne we’ve been over this.” Ang said slowly. How many times would she have to have this argument?

“Mother I’m not doing this anymore!” She was informed. Ang rubbed her aching temples. Évelyne didn’t like Tina as her bodyguard because Tina didn’t put up with her attitude and made it clear she didn’t tolerate her friends who were a bunch of assholes.

“Maman! Maman!” The sound of rapid running accompanied the happy cries and Georges popped up as his favorite person ran into the room waving a paper. Ang smiled and held out her arms for her little one who flung herself into them and hugged her. “I got a 73!” She smiled happily.

“That’s only a C.” Évelyne scoffed.

“Evvie knock it off.” Ang snapped as she took the test. Évelyne was book smart but Jocelyn was smart in all the ways that would get her through the Saints. A C in English was damn good considering how shit the school system was and really since she spoke two languages fluently she didn’t care much how well some tarted up teacher graded her daughter.

“If she would study she’d get a better grade. It’s embarrassing to have a sister that scores so low.” Évelyne glared at her younger sister. Ang ruffled her daughter’s strawberry blond hair.

“Go and play Joce.” She smiled at her as she turned on her other daughter to give her an earful.


Jocelyn could hear her maman and sister fighting again. Ever since Evvie started dating George, which eww, she had been mean all the time. Bored of trying to turn up the TV loud enough to block them out she went out to the balcony. Maman hated it when she came out here, only because she was scared, but Jocelyn loved the heights. She watched the falcons that had started nesting over on the side for a while when something got her attention. There was something swirling under the balcony. It was barely seeable, it was weird looking. She stared at it for a minute before running inside and grabbing a pillow and dropping it off the balcony. The pillow disappeared!

Jocelyn chewed her lip for a moment wondering what it was. She remembered some bedtime story about rifts and portals to awesome places but Maman had stopped talking about them. She looked sad a lot when she looked out to this balcony.

“This is a bad idea.” Jocelyn muttered as she looked behind her and climbed up on the railing. There was netting that would catch her under that swirling thing but she’d be totally grounded. She chewed a little harder before deciding what the heck and jumped.

She didn’t land in the netting like she thought but on a bouncy castle that bounced her on to asphalt.

“Owwie!” She looked at her skinned arm and looked around. “Oh crap.” She was so grounded she realized as she saw she was in an airport looking place.

Drink, drink, drink
Drown yourself in liquor
Feel the pain all at once
And then feel nothing, dance
Let everything go
Screw everyone, right?
Dj is high and people are stoned
Bartenders talk to you only if you tip more
Girls are lost and fucked
Guys are drunk and hot
You don’t feel anything, anymore
But it’s alright
The world is a video game
You lost control
You lost the game
Time to move on
The bottle is your life now
So drink, drink, drink
Do you feel something?
I think there’s nothing
Your time is up
Take your last sip
And good luck, bye

- Hazel Hira Özbek

doyouhearthunder replied to your post:If Jay had actually sold his car, he would still be alive. Think about that for a moment.

More to the point, if Jay hadn’t impulsively gone to Rosswood alone to “retrace Alex and Jessica’s steps” then he would still be alive and he and Tim would still be friends.

Keep Moving, Young Man

You wake up each day,
a day identical to the last,
a disheartening cycle that turns into weeks,
weeks then turn into months.

You feel yourself lost,
nothing to look forward to but work,
nothing to look forward to but boozing,
only thing keeping you sane is hope.

You know there is a light,
but the darkness consumes you,
the light is but a speck,
that you can’t make out.

That light is there,
you trek forward,
is it in the right direction?
Maybe, maybe not.

Head hanging low,
shoulders slumped,
thoughts clouded with gloom,
one foot in front of the other.

Keep moving, young man
there is nothing here for you,
keep moving, young man
maybe there is something for you elsewhere.

Remember your previous feeling of hopelessness,
the pain you felt,
defeated, battered, humiliated,
but you made it through.

One foot in front of the other,
there is nothing here for you,
One foot in front of the other,
maybe there is something for you elsewhere.

It’s OK, young man, to have failed,
It’s OK, young man, at least you tried,
It’s OK, young man, you showed courage,
It’s OK, young man, but now it’s time to move.

Head up, chest out,
No more gloom,
One foot in front of the other,
maybe there is something for you elsewhere.

Raul Felix


RWBY Taiyang

Can we appreciate the character that is Taiyang? The man who has lost two loves, has had his two daughters go through hell, now has a fairly depressed daughter and a daughter who has run away? The man who showed nothing but love and concern for Ruby and Yang this last episode, the man who has the sense of humor to send Zwei through the mail?

He deserves nothing but happiness.

Can we please appreciate this character?


“Nothing lasts.  Nothing.  Lasts.  Everything is changing into something else.

Nothing is wrong… nothing is wrong.  Everything is on track.

Yeah, William Blake said ‘nothing is lost.'  Nothing is lost.  And I really believe that.  We only move on.” – Terence McKenna

One of the most beautiful, haunting, and deeply profound expressions of sound I have ever had the pleasure of hearing.  Thank you Simon Posford, Raja Ram, and Terence McKenna.