nothing is okay with me right now

You are going to be okay. Trust me, you are. I know it hurts right now, I know its a struggle right now, I know nothing feels like it matters right now, but you got this.

You’re going to get through this, and you will rise from this stronger, wiser, and better because of it. It may not feel like all is well, but it is, and soon you will be well, too — better then well, living, loving, laughing, thriving.

All things must past, and so to will the cloud’s shadow fallen upon you. You will feel the light of the sun again, of life, of hope. She will shine upon you and you will be free.

Mom is still MIA and it makes me sad. We had talked about setting up a Thanksgiving visit that I would supervise with her family so everyone could see the kids (obviously not happening now that visits are cancelled). I added a bunch of pictures to our Dropbox and have been texting her with updates about the kids, but still nothing.

The cw won’t tell me anything about what’s going on. I just hope she’s okay and hasn’t given up.

Big things are planned for court in February if mom doesn’t make some serious progress and I know that seems like a long time away. But part of that progress is showing consistency and stability, something that can’t happen in just the two weeks before court. She needs to have started on some of this stuff yesterday.

I hate that I can’t give her a pep talk right now. I’m not sure if she’s just tired after a year of dealing with this or the depression has started up again or god forbid a relapse.

And I know my job is just to love these kids and maybe I’m too overly involved with mom and the case. My mentor keeps telling me I need to step back a little before I get my heart broken and that I can’t just will people to be better. And I get it. I do. I just…I’m a control freak and I genuinely like mom and I hate that I can’t fix this.

Nothing feels quite like accidentally applying eyeshadow directly to your eyeball. 0/10 do not recommend.

Sometimes I feel like I should start a YouTube makeup tutorial vlog, for the sole purpose of helping other feel better about themselves. Okay, so maybe your eyeliner is crooked, but does your eye burn like a motherfucker right now? No? Then you’re doing better than me 😂

katnisshawke  asked:

BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD ♡✧( ु•⌄• ) once you get this award, you're supposed to paste it in the ask box of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing will happen, but it's nice to know that someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out ❤ ( ◜◒◝ )♡

Awww thank You! Unfortunately I am on mobile, and Tumblr is being a woman right now… ;) so I will tag 8 people here, Okay? Everyone of you is amazing and made me smile one way or another!
@elfrooted
@missragdoll84
@inuy21
@novamm66
@katnisshawke
@kaoruyogi
@liala-lavellan
@bioticbootii
@elevanetheirin

What do you mean, these are 9? SHUSH! Just look pretty! ;)

Angst/fluff Prompt List

Please don’t repost (stealing isn’t cool, but reblog if you wish) <3 <3

  1. “I love you, please don’t go.”
  2. “Stay here tonight.”
  3. “Please don’t walk out of that door.”
  4. “I thought things were going great.”
  5. “Don’t you love me?”
  6. “You make every day worth living.”
  7. “I’ll keep you warm.”
  8. “I’m never letting you go.”
  9. “You meant too much to me.”
  10. “I won’t let you.”
  11. “How could you ask me that?”
  12. “Don’t you trust me?”
  13. “I won’t let anyone hurt you, you’re safe with me.”
  14. “You look amazing tonight.”
  15. “Shouldn’t you be with him/her?”
  16. “I’ve got you.”
  17. “I can’t sleep, can I stay here?”
  18. “It’s late.  Shouldn’t you be asleep?”
  19. “How are you feeling today?”
  20. “You look amazing tonight.”
  21. “We’ll figure this out.”
  22. “This isn’t goodbye.”
  23. “What’s cookin’ good lookin’?”
  24. “Wanna go grab a drink?”
  25. “What the hell were you thinking?!”
  26. “Here, let me help you.”
  27. “Kiss me.”
  28. “I care about you.”
  29. “You could have warned me!”
  30. “That was unexpected.”
  31. “You haven’t lost me.”
  32. “Why are you doing this?”
  33. “Don’t cry.”
  34. “Please don’t do this.”
  35. “You make me feel safe.”
  36. “You’ve shown me what love can feel like.”
  37. “Thank you, for everything.”
  38. “All I wanted was for you to be happy.”
  39. “I can’t do this on my own.”
  40. “I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you.”
  41. “Don’t be afraid.”
  42. “You’re always on my mind.”
  43. “You have no idea how much I want you right now.”
  44. “You’ve always felt like home.”
  45. “I can’t imagine this world without you.”
  46. “Dance with me.”
  47. “Trust me.”
  48. “Why are you crying?”
  49. “Who hurt you?”
  50. “Nothing is wrong with you.”
  51. “You make me feel alive.”
  52. “I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”
  53. “Who cares about what they think?”
  54. “Let’s go.”
  55. “I’m not going anywhere.”
  56. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
  57. “You’ve always got me.”
  58. “I’ve waited for this moment for a long time.”
  59. “Is this okay?”
  60. “You look like you could use a hug.”
  61. “Did you need something?”
  62. “Do you have a ride home?”
  63. “I am home.”
  64. “What happened back there?”
  65. “That’s not gonna happen.”
  66. “Why me?”
  67. “I’m right where I belong.”
  68. “Fine.”
  69. “What do you want me to say?”
  70. “After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?”
  71. “You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?”
  72. “You need sleep.”
  73. “Excuse me?”
  74. “What are you doing?”
  75. “What did you expect?”
  76. “You’re not alone.”
  77. “We’re meant for each other.”
  78. “You’re worth it.”
  79. “I don’t care what anyone else thinks.”
  80. “I’ve always been honest with you.”
  81. “It’s cold, you should take my jacket.”
  82. “Just breathe, okay?”
  83. “When I’m with you, I’m happy.”
  84. “Going somewhere?”
  85. “Don’t lie to me.”
  86. “Don’t be scared, I’m right here.”
  87. “You’re so adorable.”
  88. “I’m better, now that you’re here.”
  89. “I could never forget you.”
  90. “Forget it.”
  91. “That’s in the past.”
  92. “You make me happy.”
  93. “You’re more than that.”
  94. “I won’t lose you too.”
  95. “Come cuddle.”
  96. “Can’t you stay a little longer?”
  97. “It’s not that easy.”
  98. “I’ve had enough.”
  99. “I fell in love with you, not them.”
  100. “You’re the only one I wanna wake up next to.”
Our Little Secret-Part One

Summary: After a hunt and quite a few drinks the boys learn that you aren’t as ‘experienced’ in one department as they thought you were. Dean thinks he can rectify that

Series Masterlist

Characters: Dean, Sam, Reader

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Square Filled/Kink: Oral Fixation for @spnkinkbingo

Word Count: 4700

Warnings: Smut, oral (male and female receiving), insecure reader, language

A/N: Thank you so much for reading. This is the first part of what I hope is a lengthy and smutty series. Any feedback is always appreciated. This is also for @emilywritesaboutdean and @wheresthekillswitch ‘s Do It Like TFW Challenge (The gif is near the bottom)

A thank you to my beta @ayeronda for betaing at an ungodly hour and being so wonderful.


It’s been a long ass day and an even longer hunt. You were more than happy to be sitting on Dean’s bed in the boys’ motel room, sipping on your second, or maybe it is the third beer. And that was just here, it wasn’t counting the four or five shots you had had down at the bar. So now you were here and Sam was riding Dean hard about his strikeout at the bar.

“Dude, you were never going home with her.”

“She doesn’t know what she’s missing out on.”

You can’t help but chuckle, “What? Two whole minutes?”

Keep reading

Punish me (Smut)
I did a thing. I figured it to be best if this was EXO member optional, since with this storyline you could end up with any EXO member really. God forgive me for I have sinned. 

Pairing: EXO member x Reader (You will have to choose one at a certain point, or read it nine times)

Genre: Smut

Edit: Apparently the first part can be classified under ‘humour’. My sister read this and she was laughing her ass off? I did not intend for this to happen but yeah… If it’s the same for you, enjoy.

Word count: 4670 words

Warning: Phone sex, Oral sex, explicit language.

Punish me:

“No, I’m not a free phone sex service!” I shout annoyed through my mobile and immediately cut the call, throwing my mobile onto the kitchen counter. Once, just once, I had been spotted in public with the members of EXO and that was the result; forty calls a day that begin with either “What are you wearing?” or “Tell me how wet you are”.

My mother is the fixed cleaning lady for the Exo dorm, but she broke her leg a few weeks ago. In agreement with SM, I replace her until she gets better. It is summer holiday and that way I don’t need to search for a summer job.

The guys from EXO are my age, so of course the relationship between EXO and me is different than the relationship my mom has with them. Whilst my mom is more a motherly figure, I am more of a friend. That’s why a few days ago, they asked me to go out for dinner with them.

Keep reading

Creation Vs Consumption

Ok, so, artist struggling with depression here. I just slept for like 2 days straight and I can barely hold a pencil right now and everything I draw looks like shit and nothing I make feels like it matters.

Most of us have been there. It’s painful.

Especially when you eat, breathe, -live- art, and you can’t create anything. There’s a pressure to always be creating, always drawing, always posting. But sometimes, you just can’t. Sometimes your heart just isn’t in it, or you don’t have the energy, or you’re distracted by things that happened in the day that upset you. And I know when I tell you “That’s okay” you may not believe me, because hell, I don’t always even believe myself.

But here’s something of a life hack I learned that I desperately need to practice more myself:

If you can’t create, consume.

Watch a movie. Read a webcomic. Catch up on your favorite cartoon. Do it for days. Do it for weeks. However long it takes. Indulge in the thing that makes you love drawing in the first place. Your inspiration is living in there somewhere, and immersing yourself in your interests when you’re down is self care.

Not productive enough? Need something that feels more worth while and less leisurely? Study. Google tutorials on drawing that anatomy you’re struggling with. Look up walk throughs on how to use watercolor in a way you haven’t tried. Watch youtube videos of other artists drawing or demonstrating techniques you don’t know and figure out how they do the thing. You’re a student and you’re studying, so it’s Mature and Productive and counts as Work, BUT it takes far fewer spoons than actually creating art if you just don’t have it in you.

Conclusion: you don’t always have to be creating content to be advancing as an artist.

Realistic Halloween Starters

“– He gave me a toothbrush. Let’s egg his house.”
“Didn’t even try to decorate the house, huh.”
“If you wear that ‘this is my costume’ t-shirt, I swear to god…”
“Ew, I hate this flavor. Trade?”
“Stop crying, it was just some dude wrapped in toilet paper!”
“Wow, you sure put too much effort into this holiday.’
“They didn’t have any more candy so I asked for weed.”
“DON’T GIVE KIDS ALCOHOLIC CANDY!”
“Every time I sit down more kids show up at the door. I hate Halloween.”
“Whoops, no more candy. Sorry. Bye.”
“How cute. You look like you raided a dumpster!”
“THAT COSTUME IS CULTURALLY INSENSITIVE!”
“Apparently she’s dressed as a witch, but I don’t really see the difference…”
“Aren’t you a little old to be trick or treating?”
“I don’t think you should be having that much sugar…”
“If you weren’t diabetic before, I’m pretty sure you are now…”
“Bobbing for apples is gross. Every kid got spit in there.”
“This house isn’t sca–AHHH!”
“Kind of makes me wish something interesting would happen. Like murder.”
“NO. NO OUIJA BOARDS!”
“We’re going to a graveyard? What are you, thirteen?”
“I’ve seen scarier Hot Topic cashiers.”
“This isn’t right. Where are the slutty male costumes?!”
“This party sucks. I’d rather be out getting free candy with first-graders.”
“Yeah, because I definitely want to get arrested for trespassing tonight.”
“You wasted all the toilet paper on the first house, there’s nothing left!”
“Okay, so just hit the door bell and then run!”
“It’s just a couple of broken eggs, it’s not going to damage the car!”
“No way. People who have sex at parties die on Halloween. That’s just movie logic.”

3

Summary:

Peter gets bullied in school and they all say that he could never get a girlfriend, so Y/N who’s rather popular at school just kisses him in front of every one.

Words: ~ 1500

No spoilers!

A/N: This took me way too long to write… so sorry! Tell me what you think! :)

×××

Walking through the overcrowded hallway, I felt myself being to tired to move and bumped against several people. Not that I cared.

Normally I didn’t care about much going on in school, referring to the people. I did care about my grades and my career and all- but the people in school? I didn’t care at all about them apart from my friends.

It’s not that I didn’t like them. I mean, I was quite popular in school and I talked to a lot of students over the day. But honestly, I didn’t really listen when they told me about the last party or a concert they went to.

But there was one person that I cared about who wasn’t part of my friends even though I hoped I would have more contact with him. Body contact, too.

It was Peter Parker, the nobody of our school. No one seemed to notice him apart from me. His gorgeous face with the sweet hazel eyes and the fluffy auburn hair…
Yes, he was my secret crush that nobody knew about and nobody ever would.

I kept my little secret a long time, talking to him occasionally or having school projects together which lead to me falling in love with him.

He was so clever and his shy side was so cute that I just couldn’t handle it. I loved how kind he was and he always had something interesting to ramble about.

Nothing caught my attention while walking through the hall way, apart from him. I saw him standing at his locker, opening it to put a book inside. Me and my friends stopped at my best friend’s locker and I occasionally let my gaze slip to Peter for a few seconds.

I jumped when Flash and his friends appeared out of nowhere and pushed Peter against his locker after he had closed it. “What a looser you are!”, Flash exclaimed after Peter groaned loadly, getting everyone’s attention.

“Sorry to ruin your face but with these looks you won’t get a girlfriend, anyway.”, Flash claimed and his friends laughed at this comment before he pushed Peter again.
And Peter only stood there, head down, shoulders stiff while Flash threw several mean words at him.

But when Flash grabbed Peter’s backpack from his hands Peter looked up, his face filled with anger as Flash started throwing all of his stuff on the ground.
“Oh, what’s this?”, Flash exclaimed when he took a piece of paper from the ground. “DEAR Y/N, I wish i had the courage to tell you that I’d walk through fire just to see you smile…”, he started to read and I saw everyone’s eyes stare at me, making my face heat up.

I unconsciously made eye contact with Peter who seemed to be internally screaming. And while I was glued to the spot, not able to speak or think, Flash continued bullying him.

“But you do know”, he laughed, “You do know that someone like Y/N Y/L/N would never love you, right?” Oh, boy, how wrong you were…
I saw Peter’s head lowering again, his fingers brushing over his face before they ran through his hair.
Flash laughed triumphantly and suddenly I felt the strong urge to prove a point.

Someone like Y/N Y/L/N would definitely love Peter Parker.

My legs brought myself over to them, even though my friend’s arm grabbed me slightly. But I ignored it and shoved Flash ’s friends aside so that I could get to Peter.

“Peter, you told me you wouldn’t drag this old thing with you.”, I laughed, rolling my eyes and earning a very confused and very cute look from Peter.
“See? I told you that someone would think that you’re single.”

In the corner of my eye I saw Flash looking at me as confused as Peter and I smiled to myself.
And then I laid my hands on his shoulders and leaned in quickly, pressing my lips on his.

Ignoring the electricity coming from him and the urge to kiss him forever, I pulled back after a few seconds of giving in.

Peter’s face stated pure shock and he stared at me nervously before I smirked at him. “Bye, Peter, see you later.”, I smiled proudly, wandering off to my next class and ignoring everyone’s dazzled looks.

I let out a shaky breath I didn’t know I was holding. This had been life changing.

“Wait, Y/N, what the hell was that?”, my friend wanted to know, a strange look on her face.
“Spontaneous.”, I only answered, shrugging. “Yeah, I know. But what were you thinking?”, she asked and now there was a worried look that made me angry somehow. It seemed like she thinks something is wrong with me just because I kissed my crush. Okay, secrete crush. She couldn’t know this part.

“Nothing really. I just thought that Flash is a dick and Peter doesn’t deserve this.”, I simply said and only got a confused “Okay…” as an answer.

Later that day I sat down at a bench outside, my eyes roaming over the campus. I enjoyed being alone at lunch. Not because of my friends! I simply enjoyed the time to think without talking slash gossiping.

I thought about the kiss, obviously.

Was it right? Apart from the fact that probably the whole school knew it by now, Peter knew too.

But still, I was proud of myself: Helping someone by proving his bully wrong. Somehow it made me feel strong.

And there was another positive aspect, as well. I had kissed my crush Peter Parker!

Thinking of the devil… Peter suddenly stood next to me, a nervous grin on his face.
“Can… uh… Can I join you?”, he chuckled, nodding his head towards the empty seat in front of me. “Sure.”, I nodded, a smile on my face which was maybe a bit too wide.

He let out a relieved sigh as he sat down, letting his bag fall on to the ground.
“Rough day?”, I asked and he only nodded before he leaned forward slightly, his arms supporting his weight.

“Uhm, yeah.”, he replied before biting his lip, my eyes not being able to look at something else but him.
“Actually, it wasn’t that bad.”, he chuckled softly, his brown eyes meeting mine.

“Yeah?”, I grinned and he just nodded with a cute smile on his lips. Oh, how soft those lips had felt on mine…

A few moments of comfortable silence passed before my mind brought back the letter that Flash found in Peter’s backpack.
“Uhm, Peter…”, I started but paused briefly when his beautiful eyes stared at me, “I was wondering… I mean… would you… Would you really walk through fire to see me smile?”
He nodded instantly without a word, nervously fiddling with his fingers before my hands grabbed his. I couldn’t help but smile, my heart beat running in my chest.
“You know, you don’t need to do this. I start smiling as soon as you smile at me.”, I clarified, earning a grin from him and I returned it instinctively.

“Uh, I… um, I wanted to thank you for… you know.”, he began and I only shrugged, playing it cool,“No problem.”
“But the whole school thinks were a couple now.”
“Is that bad?”, I wanted to know, a flirty tone in my voice.

Peter shook his head, causing his brown strands to dance on his fore head. “No, it’s not bad at all.” He clearly gained some confidence when I grinned at his answer. “I liked kissing you.”, he confessed, tilting his head. “No, that’s an understatement. I loved kissing you.”

“That’s good.”, I laughed before grabbed the collar of his shirt and nearly pulled him over the table to feel his soft lips on mine again.

He was able to place his fore arms on the table to support his weight before our eyes closed and our lips met. He hummed softly when I started moving my lips and my grib on his collar loosened since I had him where I wanted. My cheeks blushed due to all to blood that my heart pumped through my veins and I felt the excitement rushing through my whole body.
My fingers wandered up to the back of his neck, playing with some of his strands after Peter tilted his head to deepen the kiss, causing my mind to go mushy.

He pulled himself back slightly, a huge grin on his face when I ran my fingers through his hair. “You like me.”, he breathed out and I nodded before I pecked his lips briefly.

He leaned back again, giving me a charming smile. I had to bite my lip to hid that huge smile on my face which Peter saw anyway and I felt my heart skipping a beat.

This one question wether I wanted to be Peter’s girlfriend was definitely in his head but there was no need to voice it.

He knew that I was in love with him.

Part 2

Wrong

Originally posted by lumos025

Summary: Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung bullied you in high school and by some sick joke the universe was playing on you, 2 years later Jungkook was attending the same University as you. Even sicker joke was being stuck with him doing a project on ‘Sex in Cinema’ for a whole semester. Go figure.

Words: 8083

Warnings: Smut, a lot of dirty talk holy shit (I can’t help it), oral, masturbation, overstimulation.

2 years earlier:

You walked down the road, almost around midnight, trying to get home as fast as possible the chilly rainy weather. Not to mention the truck that was trailing behind you and the screams and shouts of “wait up thunder thighs!” and “stop running away like a little bitch!” coming from the 3 boys who occupied it. Wrapping your arms around yourself to feel just an ounce of warmth, you willed yourself to ignore these bastards and walk faster. ‘I’m almost home, I’m almost home’ repeating it like a mantra in your head. Really, it was a stupid idea to think that you could enjoy a last high school party with your friends who were the complete opposite of you. After all, when the three most popular boys of the school were determined to make your life a living hell, why would anyone else want to treat you different in this extremely cliché scenario. It was hard to pinpoint what exactly was it about you that made them hate you so much.

From the time that you can remember, and you remembered a lot, Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook had always despised you. It’s like they couldn’t stand your existence. When you would be at the library helping out by staying late, they would wait after school, yes they would go out of their way to stay at school longer, to make sure that your walk home was as stressful as possible. Making fun of pretty much anything and everything you did was a normal occurrence. You had just learned to live with it, but not today.

You suddenly started to slow your pace. They are cowards, you thought. What can they possibly do? Always taunting, always calling names, always making you feel shit about anything you took interest in. But they were all talk, right? You thought, huffing out. People like them walk in groups because they can’t actually do anything alone. You don’t know what came over you, but you suddenly stopped and turned around slowly. The truck that the boys were trailing behind you also slowed and stopped a few meters away.

The one driving was Jimin, while Taehyung sat beside him and Jungkook stood, head poking out of the truck’s opening in the ceiling. You stood defiantly, shaking from the growing rain, your hair soaked and hands tightly by your side. Silently daring them to charge the truck towards you. ‘They won’t do it, they’re cowards’ you thought, your confidence growing slowly. You couldn’t tell where this adrenaline rush had come from to give you such courage to finally stand your ground, just a few weeks away from graduation. You could see Taehyung’s cunning, and terrifyingly psychotic grin widening as he relentlessly whispered in Jimin’s ear, whose grip on the wheel was tightening as he looked you right in the eyes. Jungkook was laughing. He apparently found the situation so amusing, that you decided now to grow a spine and challenge them. Suddenly, the sound of the engine revving was as loud as the rain.

It all went pretty much downhill from there. The last thing you remembered was your too loud heartbeat, the bright flash from the truck and Jungkook’s face suddenly forming a horrified expression as if he wasn’t just laughing at you.

Present day:

You weren’t looking for him specifically among the crowd flooding into the lecture hall. But something did happen inside you when you spotted him. A kind of lightness, or a lifting of some heavy part of yourself. Everything was settling into a nice, normal routine. You were going about your daily lives in an ordinary manner, and you were doing it completely separately.

He sat in the fourth row, and you sat at the back. Only now there was no rising sense of dread. You didn’t keep your hand to yourself when the lecturer asked a question. You answered, without the background sound of someone snickering. And even when it felt as though he was looking at you, when you snuck a glance at him you only ever saw the back of his head.

He bent low over his notes, and his head occasionally lifted a little as he really listened to whatever the lecturer was saying. Once or twice you actually caught him nodding, or doing a little staggered-looking half laugh over some ridiculous concept. As if he loved it all now.

He loved it so much he was sometimes at the lectures early. You would come in with Y/B/F, still giggling over something ridiculous, and get the faint prickle that told you he was already there. Only now when it happened it didn’t make you want to cover yourself up, or run and hide. There was nothing to hide from. Everything was going to be super cool and totally fine from here on in. Or it would have been, if it were not for the group project. The one that you were so excited for that you didn’t process it when your lecturer started reading out the names. You would be working with Y/B/F—that was a given. You were going to watch ridiculously filthy movies together and laugh about bobbing butts and ogle Ewan McGregor’s penis.

And then you heard his name.

Followed by yours.

Distantly, like in a dream of being in class.

“Miss Y/L/N, do you have a problem with that assignment?”

Everyone was looking at you now. No—not just looking. Examining, as though You had become a new and baffling species. The girl who was not excited about the idea of spending a whole semester with Jungkook. The creature who seemed horrified at the prospect of working with him. It made it difficult to do anything at all, even with Y/B/F urging you to say yes, yes I do have a fucking problem. Though you still didn’t expect the shake of your head to happen. Just one little accidental shake of your head and that was it. Your lecturer moved on to his next victim, leaving you in something You once had a nightmare about in ninth grade. Working with Jungkook. On a semester-long project.

About sex in cinema.

“Don’t worry, we can fix this. Just go to his office and talk to him privately about it. He would have to be Satan himself to not understand,” You heard Y/B/F whisper. But the words seemed even further away than you name had when your lecturer read it out.

“Right. Right. Yeah. You’re right.”

“I can come with you if you want.”

“No, that’s okay. That’s fine.”

“Are you sure? You look like you’ve been punched. In the face. With a small nuclear blast.”

“I’m sure,” You said, but soon came to regret that firmness in your voice. The steady nod that told Y/B/F it was okay for you to go in a different direction once you were outside. It only meant that you were on your own when you got to the tiny hallway outside your lecturer’s door.

And saw that Jungkook was already waiting. Of course he was—he probably had the same concerns as you. No matter how sorry he was or what he thought of being in the red and being wrong, he would never want to work in close quarters with you for the entire semester. In fact, him being sorry likely made the situation seem worse to him. Most likely he had calculated all the awkward conversations you guys would have to have and how far apart he would have to stand to keep you comfortable, and found it as unbearable as you did.

Even though his expression seemed to say something else.

Oh god. His expression was saying something else.

Then he held up his hands, as though to calm you.

And you knew.

“All right, Y/N, I know that you’re probably thinking it’s way better if you do this project with that gal pal of yours, but wait, okay? I got reasons why this is gonna be fine.”

“Is that seriously why you’re here? To stop me asking to switch us?”

“Well…no. Not stop you exactly. Stop is a really strong word.”

“While I’m glad you’ve learned that—” You said, your voice briefly catching when you saw his wince. He winced, your mind hissed, before you forced yourself to finish. “I still think it covers what’s happening here.”

“I just wanted to talk to you about it for a second. Just, like, hear me out.”

“I want to. I really do. But come on. You know I wasn’t born yesterday. This has all the hallmarks of some kind of trap or prank or joke at my expense.”

“How could it possibly be a trap or prank? He put people together based on…I don’t even know what he put people together based on. But it couldn’t have had anything to do with me.”

You searched his face, looking for the lie. Waiting for him to show some hint of bullshit, beneath those too-kind eyes and his spread hands and the obvious logic of what he was saying.

Only there was nothing, nothing, nothing.

And it made no difference at all.

“Okay, I buy that. I do. Yet the fact still remains: I cannot do a project with you. Ever. You have to know that doing anything like that is completely impossible for me. Right?”

“I was just thinking that maybe…maybe you could give it a chance. You know, now that we’re on speaking terms and everything is almost cool between us.”

“You think everything is cool between us?”

“Well, maybe not cool exactly. More like…okay.”

“Still need to dial it back a notch, chief.”

“Reasonable? Not bad? Kind of semi decent?”

“That last one is getting close.”

He sighed, shoulders sagging.

Relenting, you thought. He’s actually relenting.

“Fine, we are a fucking disaster.”

“Now you’re getting the idea,” You said.

“But I figure we can work on it.”

“By doing a project on sex in the cinema together?”

“Well,” he said. “When you put it like that it sounds dumb.”

“There’s no other way to put it! That is literally what you’re suggesting.”

“Yeah, I get that. I just…want to not get that. I want it to be easier or better or just not the way this is.”

“That could have been my daily prayer in high school, Jungkook.”

He didn’t react the way you expected to, with more weird arguing.

He just closed his eyes.

He closed them like someone had just told him his family had been in a fatal accident.

“I wish I could go back and start over again. More than wish—I would give everything I have to start over again. The wrestling, this scholarship, every party I ever went to and every fun thing I ever did. And you can choose to not believe me about that, but—”

“I believe you.”

“You do?”

“I’m as surprised as you are, but yeah.”

“Then why does this have to be such a big deal?”

You thought of Y/B/F saying attempted murder.

“Y/N that is fucking attempted murder. Babe, you don’t have to feel bad about anything you put him through now. His friends and him included, ran you over with a fucking truck. How much physio and other therapy sessions did you have to go through because of them, huh?”

The terror that used to flood you when he walked down the hall.

That ever-present sensation of a grille barrelling into your body.

“Because understanding that someone is truly sorry and wanting to spend huge amounts of time with them are two different things. I might see that you mean this, and know rationally that I can almost sort of trust you. Maybe I even want it to be that easy, too. But your face is the one I had nightmares about for two years. Your smile doesn’t seem happy to me. I associate it with cruelty.”

You shook your head. Glanced away from him so you didn’t have to see the defeated look on his face.

“It’s hard for me to look at you, Jungkook, no matter how much I appreciate what you’ve done here.”

“That was a really well-thought-out and logically sound speech.”

“I know it was. I’m pretty proud.”

“And I have no argument against it.”

“You don’t need one. What you’ve done here…” You gritted your teeth hard and looked at the ceiling. But this time it didn’t stop the tears. They were already welling up by the time You explained the rest to him.

“It means a lot. And a million men would never have done the same, I can promise you. I don’t have any messages from Jimin on my phone. Taehyung isn’t going to call anytime soon. It’s just you, a rare fantasy in the middle of all this dismal reality.”

He turned around when you were done. All the way around—and then his arms went up to cover his head and you understood. What you said had affected him, strongly. Maybe more than his words had affected you. It took him twice as long to get it together, and even after he had he couldn’t quite look at you. He just kept staring at the wall and clenching his jaw.

And saying things. Oh yeah, he said things, in a strained, shaky voice.

“I meant what I said, you know. That you are the very best.”

“I know. That’s why I’m going to ask you not to say it again.”

“I can’t stop. I have the opposite of whatever idiocy infected me in high school.”

“What, like insane-need-to-compliment fever?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” he said.

“Well it has taken a raging hold of you, let me tell you.”

“I know it seriously cannot be stopped.”

“I think you have a terminal case.”

“Not a bad way to go, if you ask me,” he said, so soft and sincere it took all your strength to stop yourself smiling in response. You could feel your lips trembling. Your cheeks ached with the effort of pinning them down, yet still You knew you were failing. You could see it in his satisfied expression.

And hear it in his words.

“That’s better. Seeing you look happy.”

“I am happy,” You said, then added without thinking: “Are you?”

Of course you didn’t mean anything by it. It was just a polite habit, based on interactions with people other than Jungkook. People who had actual problems, who lived troubled lives, who might answer with a god no. Jungkook would never need to answer with a god no. His life was full of endless possibilities and unfettered glory. He could snap his fingers and have a thousand people follow him to the ends of the earth.

He even looked that way, in the dim light of the narrow hallway between these offices.His hair was the colour of dark chocolate. Every item of clothing suited him perfectly, from the rich grey-blue of his V-neck to the jeans he’d tucked into his timberlands. He exuded cool from every pore; he could have stepped off the cover of a magazine. Yet all you could see was his face as it slowly sagged. It was like watching someone cut the strings that had held a mask in place—a mask you hadn’t known he was wearing. You thought that smiling golden god who had tormented you was the real him, but for a second you couldn’t be sure. Just for one heart-rattling second, and then the door to the office opened and that glimpse of something else was gone—so fast You would imagine later that it had never existed. It was just a trick of the light.

Better to focus on the real and the now.

“What can I do for you two today?” Professor asked.

Then you took a breath and answered.

“Nothing,” You said.

A few weeks later:

After that day, you didn’t know how or why you suddenly decided to give working with him a try, but so far, it was going…. okay. You two met up at the library, took your notes, glancing at each other once in a while, mostly Jungkook, asking each other questions relevant to your awkward topic given the situation and that was that. He made jokes sometimes that managed to get out a few carefree laughs out of you as well. It was all… comfortable. Nothing that you had expected. That is why, you decided, it was time to move on to watching actual movies for references, in your project.

It was nearly one in the morning, on a Wednesday night when you went to get him as your friend was out and that was the only time Jungkook was free after wrestling practice. Everyone was in bed, and it gave an eerie feeling to your journey back to your dorm.

As did his silence.

He was always talking—You realized that then. Sometimes he practically kept up a running commentary on everything and anything, yet here he was as quiet as stone. And it wasn’t because he was exerting himself. He didn’t breathe hard once the whole time. He could have been carrying a backpack full of air. But the idea of mental trouble lingered. When you tilted your head a little, you could practically hear his mind going over and over things, in a way that just wasn’t like him. He was easy-going. Happy-go-lucky. He never worried about things the way you did.

Until now.

“Jungkook, are you okay?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know. You just seem a little…”

Like an ominous statue of yourself.

“I was just thinking what movie we should watch.”

“Oh. Oh. You mean…right now?” You asked.

“Well, that’s what you came to get me for.”

“That’s true, I did come and get you for that.”

“Unless you don’t want me in your room so late.”

“No, no why would I…no, that’s cool.”

“You’re in the Jubilee Building, right?”

You had the strongest urge to ask him how he knew. But that seemed just as weird as objecting to him being in your room.

“Yeah. You just go past the science block and then—”

“Right, right, right I got it, I got it. The statue of Heo Nanseolheon is outside it, yeah?”

“That’s the one. Then it’s the third floor. Don’t worry though, there’s an elevator.”

“Ah, it wouldn’t have been a big deal.”

“Do you wanna let me unlock the door?” you asked standing behind him when you both reached your dorm.

“Oh shit, yeah. Yeah, go ahead,” he said moving his bulky body out of the way as you slid past him to unlock the door. Everything had returned to the way it should be now between you and Jungkook.

Except for the sexy movie you were now going to watch.

Alone. Together. On your bed. In the middle of the night.

You let him pick the movie, thinking that would make things easier somehow. Nothing could be misconstrued, at least, that way. He wouldn’t think you meant anything by your choice, whatever it might be. But you forgot that he might mean something with his choice. You watched the heroine trying to clumsily pick up the hero at the start of White Palace, and cringed so hard it felt more like a cramp in your gut. Your cheeks grew hot, in a way that made you grateful for the dim light of your feeble bedside lamp.

Otherwise he would see your face go red and know you understood his point—despite the fact that his point was fucking nonsense.

“This is even less realistic than Dirty Dancing.”

“Really? You think so? Like, in what way?” You asked.

“It just seems like she keeps pushing and pushing. No woman would push a guy that good-looking if he didn’t seem into it. I can’t think of anything more embarrassing.”

You didn’t look at him, but knew he shrugged.

His arm rubbed against yours as he did it.

“Maybe she doesn’t care.”

“I guess not.”

“Maybe she knows he’s actually into it.”

“That could be one explanation.” Jungkook says, sighing.

“Plus she obviously gets exactly what she was looking for.” He adds.

Onscreen, Susan Sarandon was going down on James Spader.

Which to you didn’t seem to back up his point at all.

“Oh yeah, I’m sure she’s having a great time getting absolutely nothing out of this.”

“That’s what this looks like to you? Like she’s getting nothing out of this?”

“Well, in movies they make it look like she is. But I doubt she really would be.”

“You doubt that giving a guy a blow job could be enjoyable for a woman.”

You glanced at him then, just to see if his expression was as incredulous as his voice.

Then had to look back at the screen quickly. If anything, his expression was worse. He had one eyebrow raised, and there was almost no humour in his eyes. This was serious somehow. Much too serious.

“I don’t know. I mean it’s not really something you do for your own enjoyment. You do it for his.”

“So to you there’s nothing pleasurable about it. Nothing sexy about having a guy at your mercy. Begging you, moaning for you, trying not to push too deep when it gets too good.”

Your breath hitched.

“You do those things?”

The words came out too fast. Too disbelieving, too.

But You just couldn’t stop them. They ripped out of you before you had time to talk it over with you mind, all ragged around the edges and maybe a little breathless. Just enough that he likely heard it, and wondered why. You couldn’t tell him, however. You didn’t know yourself. You only knew that when he started talking again, you had the urge to put your fingers in your ears.

“Of course I do those things. Having your cock sucked is fucking amazing,” he said, which was absolutely fine.

But then he kept going.

He kept going.

“The heat and the slickness and her looking up at you as she works it with her hands and lips and tongue. Especially the tongue. The tongue is the best part. Watching it curl right around the—”

“Well, okay, it sounds cool when you put it that way.”

God your voice sounded loud. And too fast again, too. All your words practically jumbled together.

“I don’t know what other way it could possibly be.”

“How about hold still while I fuck your face? Some guy coming right in your eye? Losing a chunk of hair because he pulled too hard?”

“You’re not serious. Tell me honestly. None of that happened.”

Now his voice was bright with amusement. But it didn’t make you feel any better.

“All of that happened. To me. More than once.”

“Yeah but after…”

“After what?”

“After he came then he…”

He made a circle with his hand bobbing his head, as though you should know that one thing logically followed on from the other. It was all completely easy and obvious.

Instead of the hardest quiz you had ever had to get through. “Then he what? Gave me cab fare?”

“No. No. After that then this happens.”

You glanced at the thing he was pointing at.

Then had to look away again, quick. At your hands, at the bedspread.

At him, as he oh-so-slowly realized what your sudden awkwardness meant.

“This has never happened to you. Holy shit. You’ve never had a guy go down on you.”

“I have had a guy go down on me. I totally have.”

“Are you sure about that? You don’t look sure.”

“Well, maybe not like this.”

“There’s no other way to do it. This is actually the most basic, ordinary way to go about eating pussy.”

At those words, you could feel the fire burning on your cheeks and your breathing getting laboured. Jungkook really had no filter.

“Yeah, but this seems really exciting and sexy and hot.”

“Going down on a girl is really exciting and sexy and hot. Like I said about giving a guy head? Exactly the same principle. You get to see you writhe and shake and push herself against your mouth. Just like that, just like Sarandon is doing. Look at her. Look at her.”

“I am. I am looking,” You said, but You weren’t, not really.

You were thinking of the shiver that had gone through you when he said look, soft as butter and so oddly tender. And the way that he was looking himself, eyes almost far away.

Like he was seeing Sarandon, but putting someone else in her place.

“Think about how it must feel.”

“Yeah I can…I get that…”

“Think about his tongue slowly easing over her soft folds.”

“Is that…how…is that what you…” You said, breathlessly “Uh-huh.”

“And it works?”

You voice was a whisper now. But that was okay. His was, too. It was so low he had to lean close to ask you questions. He had to meet your gaze, and You had to meet his.

“What works?”

“It makes you…you know. Cum.”

“Oh yeah. But you gotta take your time.”

“I see. I guess that makes sense.” You were just babbling now, trying to keep up with him.

“Let it build, nice and slow. Start by just stroking her with your fingertips. Work her, you know, until her lips part. And then when she’s all open to you, you just trace the shape of her with your tongue. Lick and lick in these ever decreasing circles until you’re right…fucking…there.”

“Where? Where…where are you?”

You shouldn’t have asked. You knew you shouldn’t as soon as it was out. Your faces were too close together now, and his body seemed to be looming over yours. That was his shoulder, almost nudging your chin. And his thigh, pressing deep and hard into yours. His answer was never going to make any of this better.

Then it came, hotter than molten lava and twice as destructive.

“Her clit. Her slick, swollen clit.”

“I see. That makes sense,” You said, even though that wasn’t what you wanted to go with.

No, what you wanted to go with was more like oh my fucking God this can’t be reality.

“Then you just…stroke it.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Until she’s mindless.”

“Yeah. Yeah.”

“Doesn’t even know what she’s saying anymore, or doing. She might tell you to bite, to fuck her with your tongue and fingers, harder or faster or some word that doesn’t even make sense. Hips coming up to meet you, greedy for it, horny for it, so horny she barely notices that her hand is in your hair and she’s squeezing tight enough for it to sting, so close to coming that her whole body is shuddering and shivering and flushing that deep, good pink. Soon as you see it you just know she’s burning. That her clit is aching and throbbing and her pussy is all open and slippery, and one more second of this will make her come. She’s already coming, before you even know where you’re at. Hard, hard, hard, like she never has before.”

You were holding your breath by the time he was done. You practically had to—his face was so close now you could have blinked and brushed his cheek with your eyelashes. Every word he said seemed to stroke against your face, cool at first but then more heated. As though he was starting to boil alive inside, too. Certainly he looked that way. You have never seem him flushed like this, not even when he pushed himself during a match.

Not even when he was embarrassed.

Though you supposed that wasn’t a common occurrence. He didn’t seem to be embarrassed now, and he’d just said all those words. He said clit and pussy and slippery, as if that was just a normal way to talk to your friend. And he did it all without flinching, too. Without glancing away or putting some distance between you. In fact, those eyes of his—now heavy lidded and so soft focus—seemed intent on you more than they ever had been before. They skittered all over you face, searching for something you had no idea how to give.

You didn’t even know what the something was.

You only knew that it made you forget yourself, just as he had described.

It made you search his face back, marvelling over every brutish line and gentle curve. Those lips of his, as plump as a girl’s yet so masculine at the same time. Every inch of them gleaming, as if he’d slicked them with gloss in anticipation of a kiss. Though even in that moment you didn’t really believe you wanted that. Until he whispered, low and heavy against your own lips.

“You can, you know.”

“Can what?”

“Touch yourself.”

It jolted you, when he said it.

But not as much as realizing why he said it.

You followed his gaze down, and took in the unmistakable sight of your hand in your lap. Really, really high up in your lap. Almost between your legs, in fact—though that was fine, it was cool, it was okay. You stuttered ‘no, no I didn’t really want to do that’, but it didn’t matter.

Because his hand was actually between his legs.

“I do,” he said.

As the whole world as You knew it dissolved right in front of your eyes.

“You do?”

“Fuck, yes. I’m dying to.”

“Because of the film. Because of the movie.”

“Sure. We can say that, if you want.”

You closed your eyes. Swallowed thickly.

Wished hard that he hadn’t added that last part.

“If we could that would be awesome.”

“No problem. I mean it was probably inevitable that this would happen to us.”

“Probably, yeah. Almost definitely, in fact.”

“Just a natural response to a sexy movie.”

“Seems that way to me.”

“So you just slip your hand under your waistband, and I’ll slip my hand under mine,” he said, which was fine all on its own. The problem was that he then went ahead and did it. You tried not to look, but saw anyway. You saw the way he fumbled in his haste, as though all his talk was only calm on the surface. Underneath, something was paddling frantically. It was making his cheeks pink and his body all trembly.

And his dick hard. God, his cock was hard.

You could see that without even trying at all. The curving shape beneath his sweatpants was enormous and unmistakable, and even if it hadn’t been, his hand made it pretty clear. As You watched, he eased it over that solid length, before finally clasping it in a way that shoved the swollen head right up against the tented material. Now You could make out ruder details, like the thick ridge around the head, and the slit at the tip. Both pronounced, explicit, rude.

But that wasn’t what really got you.

It was the way he stopped to lick his palm, before shoving it

under his waistband.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god, are you serious?”

“It’s cool. it’s fine. We don’t even have to look at each other.”

“No I guess not. I guess…I guess that I can just watch the screen.”

“We’re just two people getting off over a hot movie.”

“Exactly. Exactly.”

But that wasn’t strictly true. You weren’t getting off over the movie at all. Nothing was even happening anymore—it was just rich people looking down their noses and arguments over a Dust buster. If anything, it was vaguely depressing, rather than lust-inducing. Yet still You sat there, face burning, body tender and rigid all at the same time. Half of you stuffed so full of embarrassment and shock you sort of wanted to block everything out, the other half just shamelessly straining to hear every single tiny sound he made. Never daring to look, of course, but then…

You really didn’t need to.

He made so much noise that you could make out almost everything. Every little moan and gasp—and there were a lot of them, too. Lots of thick, guttural moans that started on an ah and ended with a kind of abrupt sigh, as though a knife had sliced through his throat before he could finish. So many soft mmms and gasps, like he honestly couldn’t get enough of whatever he was doing.

Though it was the whispers that hit you hardest. They got you right in the gut, low down and deep enough to ache. Oh yeah, he murmured, as though the hottest sex in the world was happening onscreen. As though they were fucking like animals, up and down and left and right. His tone even sounded sort of tremulous, and it got more intense as time went on. Soon he was panting, and rocking, and every now and then uttering something he was clearly imagining himself doing.

“Ah, yeah, suck my cock, just like that,” he said.

Then just to make it extra agonizing, he spat into his hand.

To make it extra slick, you thought, like someone’s mouth. Someone sucking him the way he’d described, slow and steady until he was actually shuddering, right here and now. The bed was moving, at least, and it wasn’t because he was working that cock hard. He wasn’t. He was going slow, so slow, squeezing and rolling rather than the short, fast kind of thing You’d always thought guys did. They almost never seemed to do anything else in porn…but then again they never did all this other stuff, too. You dared to turn you head a little more and saw to your astonishment that he had his hand pressed to his mouth. He was almost biting his fist, chest heaving, body shivering all over—but most important, eyes closed.

He couldn’t even see you looking. You were free to do as you pleased.Yet something held you back. You couldn’t seem to do more than peek out of the corner of you eye, and even that made you feel strange. You kept getting this clenching sensation—sort of like embarrassment or humiliation—and it got worse when his back arched. When he actually said out loud that he was almost there, that he was so close, that he was gonna come all over your duvet. I need something to do it on, he said, and even that had a shameful frisson of its own. You had a brief flash of him kneeling up and suddenly coming all over your face, or maybe pulling down that ridiculously large neck hole to expose your breasts.

Followed by an image of that thick white liquid coating you, striping you face, dripping off your tight little nipples. Him pushing his cock past your lips to finish off, groaning as he flooded your mouth.

And he would have flooded it, too. You glanced at him just in time to see him shove his sweatpants down, that big dick swelling under the pressure of his too-tight grip. Thick ribbons of come already hitting his bared belly, over and over until you were sure he must be done. He had to be, yet more kept flowing over his still-working fist. You watched it run down over his fingers in slippery trails before pooling in his lap.

Though none of it was what you kept seeing behind your eyes in the aftermath. Instead, you saw the way his face had looked as he shot his load. The open mouth, and the closed eyes, and most of all the strange, wrenching vulnerability that had covered him for a moment. No mischief, no macho bullshit—just a completely open and abandoned sort of ecstasy.

And all of it for you.

He knew you had watched him. He still knew now. You flicked your eyes back to the screen as he started to catch his breath, but the first thing he did was include you.

“Guess I kind of made a mess here,” he said, everything about his tone suggesting two conspirators, finishing off their evil deed. You even got up after he’d said it, to get him a tissue.

Though when You got back he’d pretty much taken care of most of it.

You stopped in the doorway to the bathroom at the sight: Him, casually licking his messy fingers.

It took you a good two minutes after that to go over to him, with your fistful of toilet paper. And when you did go, it was on very shaky legs. Your whole body felt shaky, in fact—though not in any way you’d experienced before. This was like being full to the brim with something burning hot, skin so close to ripping that it couldn’t keep still. Sometimes you thought you could see it shivering slightly under the strain, and every inch of it was tender, so tender. His leg brushed yours as you sat down, and it was agony. You even winced—then immediately regretted it.

He had been concentrating on clean-up. Now he looked up at you sharply.

And asked questions You were loathing to answer.

“Have you…not? I mean have you not—”

“I couldn’t. I’m sorry, I couldn’t.”

“God, you must be bursting.”

“Honestly, I’m fine.”

The problem was though; you didn’t seem fine.

You couldn’t meet his gaze. Your hands were fists on your thighs.

And of course he could see all of that.

“You look like you’re bursting.”

“Oh yeah? And what does bursting look like?”

“Your voice is shaking.”

“Is it?” You asked, voice so light it almost passed.

Almost, almost, almost.

“Your cheeks are flushed.”

“Are they?”

“And then there’s the fact that your nipples are like diamonds. Fuck, look how stiff they are. Isn’t that agonizing, having them like that? I bet your clit’s the same. Bet your pussy is so wet. So wet you’re making a mess of the nice, clean clothes.”

Your cheeks grew hotter and hotter as he whispered each word. By the time he was done they felt like they were going to melt right off you face. That tense, cringing feeling in your stomach was ten times worse, and that was before he got to the last point. The one about the clothes, and the mess, and oh god what if he was right? It felt as if he might be. You weren’t wearing any underwear, and everything was really slippery between your legs. You could feel it, every time You moved.

“Oh fuck, sorry, sorry I don’t…I hope…it’s just that—” You didn’t even know why you were apologizing

“Honey, you don’t need an explanation.”

His tone was like sinking into a warm bath—and the thumb you could feel stroking over you forearm only pulled you deeper down. He just did it so idly. So like he wasn’t touching you at all.

Before you knew it, you were up to your ears in liquid heat.

“Are you sure? Because it kind of feels like I do.”

“I’m sure. I mean, the movie was pretty intense.”

“Right, exactly. Super intense.”

“So why deny yourself?”

“I’m not…denying…anything.”

“I could leave, if you want.”

“No, god no,” You said, too fast and too fierce.v

Though it was only afterward that you realized how it sounded: Not like someone trying to say you didn’t want to masturbate. Like someone saying that you wanted him to stay.

And he took it that way, too.

“Or, you know. I could just…do it for you,” he said.

Then you just had to do your best not to go out of your mind.

You stopped herself from jumping up. Kept your hands from flailing.

Didn’t look at him, in case looking made you do something crazy.

“Oh my god. You can’t be serious. You can’t be serious.”

“Probably wouldn’t take a lot.”

“I always take a lot.”

“Even when you’re alone?”

“Especially when I’m alone.”

“Well, maybe we should see about that.”

Again, you had the urge to get up. Maybe you even would have, if it hadn’t been for the other things he was doing. The thumb stroking your arm was now the back of his hand, running the length of your arm over and over. And that was his breath against the curve of your throat, so close and warm he could have been kissing you there. It felt like kissing.

Only without the scariness of the real thing.

All of this was without the scariness of the real thing. It was just a game, that was all—and one that you could win if you really put you mind to it. He thought he could get you so easily, but he was utterly and completely wrong. You were a rock, in the face of whatever he was going to do. You were impervious to the pleasure he seemed to think he was going to dole out, to the point where you almost laughed when he slipped his hand beneath the waistband of those too-big sweatpants.

It was weird. Slightly uncomfortable.

Not sexy in the least.

And then his fingertips just oh-so-lightly grazed the pouting lips of your swollen pussy, and things pretty much started to go downhill from there. The sensation it sent through you was just so intense, and over something so small. He hadn’t even slipped between them to your clit, or eased a finger into your slick little hole. In truth, you weren’t entirely sure he’d touched you at all.

Yet you still had to clench your jaw.

You had to tell herself that it was just the stuff that had happened before—the film and him coming and then licking his fingers like a satisfied cat. It wasn’t anything to do with this right now, with him touching you, with his skill. He wasn’t skilful at all. He was terrible. Awful.

he worst lover you had ever had.

You had no idea why your thighs were trembling. Or what made you moan when he finally, finally, finally eased his fingers into that slick slit, and then topped it off by telling you just what he found there.

“Ohhhh fuuuuck you are wet. You’re so wet. Jesus Christ, Y/N, how can you stand it? How can you sit still and quiet with those eyes closed when your pussy is like this? So slippery I can just glide all the way down and ease on in and oh man, oh man,” he said, and all You could do in response was shiver and make a number of embarrassing noises. First for his words, and then oh god then for the feel of him doing it.

He used two fingers—two of those long, thick fingers—yet somehow it didn’t hurt when he pushed into you. There was no fumbling or searching. Your body just seemed to open for him, as though they’d dated for years and he’d worked on you for hours. He knew exactly how to touch you there, and when he did you simply had to respond. Your gasp rung out in the small room.Though you vowed it would be the last one. That was it now—you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of anything else. Not even when he started working his fingers in and out, slow and steady and so unbelievably good. you kind of wanted to cry over the unfairness of it. Why was he the one who had to be so good at this? How did he know how to do it in this deliberate, teasing, tantalizing way?

Even watching him do it was exciting. You made the mistake of glancing down and all you could see was his hand rolling beneath the material, the waistband occasionally stretching to give you a glimpse of your glossy cunt, his gleaming fingers, the way you were spread around that thick intrusion…

Fuck.

You had to look at the screen just to stop yourself coming right then and there—though even those measures had an exciting quality of their own. James Spader was just doing something incredibly dull now, while you sat here watching through slitted eyelids, cheeks flushed and legs spread, as a man slowly fingered your slick, flushed pussy. Back and forth, back and forth, until you were so beside yourself you weren’t sure you even wanted to hold back your moans. You only knew that you were still trying, for reasons that seemed vague and far away now. It just doesn’t matter, your mind hissed, but you kept it up anyway. You held yourself more tightly and bit deep into your lip—deep enough that you tasted blood. And when he started to ease those fingers up, you shut your eyes tight. You thought of other things, more boring things: dry books and bird-watching. All to no avail. He made one circle around your clit.

Just one tiny, insignificant circle, and that was it. Your orgasm rolled up from that stiff little bud, in one all-consuming and all-powerful wave. It took away your control over your body—your toes curled tight and your back arched. But most important, it took away your control over your mouth. It let one little word slip out.

Though one little word was more than enough.

“Jungkook,” You said, and after that the game was pretty much up. That was gratitude in your voice and pleasure in the sigh behind it, and all wrapped in the neat little bow of his name. There was no more pretending that it wasn’t him who had made you feel this way, or suggesting that all of this was just a game.And he knew it immediately. He kept up the thrusts of his long, thick fingers, helping you prolong the feeling of your orgasm for as long as possible. And he didn’t stop there. Your face was starting to contort from the oversensitivity and it was obvious that Jungkook knew it too from the way he bit his lip and started to purposely move his fingers faster once again.

“Ahh! J-Jungkook… I can’t….” You moaned out, though this seemed to have no effect on him as he seemed determined to elicit another orgasm from you. His fingers scraping against your tightening walls as they fought to repeatedly slam back inside you. Your thighs were shaking, your eyes half lidded, leaning back on your hands as his worked between your legs. Suddenly you gripped Jungkook’s moving hand as you came dangerously close to letting go.

“That’s it, fuck, cum again for me Y/N. I need this. You need this” He almost sounded desperate and it made you want to sob because everything was so fucking hot.

With a cry of his name, you came undone again, your body almost curling in towards itself from the sensitivity.

“Holy shit, holy shit,” he said, as though you’d cried out the filthiest thing on the face of the earth. And, again, he didn’t stop there. You could hear him fumbling with the waistband of his sweatpants already—though you tried to turn it into something else in your head. He was just pulling them up, you thought. They had slid down as he serviced you, that was all.

Only it wasn’t all.

When you made the mistake of glancing his way, you saw so much more than you were ready for. It was supposed to be over now, completely over, but he’d shoved everything down to mid-thigh and his cock was in his hand again and god god god why was it so arousing? You’d had cum twice already. He’d had one orgasm already, and now he was being so fucking filthy.

Yet somehow the filthiness only made it worse.

You came searingly close to telling him yes.

And go on.

And come all over me—just like you’d imagined.

For one wild second, it even seemed like he might. He was groaning and panting and he kept saying things, incredible things like “do you see what you do to me do you get how fucking horny you make me oh fuck just hearing you moan my name”. His hand was heavy on your shoulder, and you knew he was close. He was going to yank your top down any second now.

Any second, you thought.

Though you didn’t realize how much you wanted it until the first thick burst slid over his fist.

Didn’t know how little control you had over herself until he grunted your name and shuddered violently, that slick fluid easing over his still-pumping fist. After all, if you’d had any you would have stayed right where you were, content to just watch.Instead of leaning forward to take that heavy, swollen, slippery head in your mouth, to catch the last ribbons of his salt-sweet cum all over your eager tongue.

“Fucking fuck, Jagiya” Jungkook cursed loudly, watching you take the head of his cock in your mouth. He slid his hands in your hair, gripping it from the bottom of your skull gently, rocking your face back and forth, riding out the last of his high. You looked up at him, eye still glassed over, breathing hard and laboured and slid the head of him out of your mouth.

There was no doubt that Jungkook was shocked at your boldness but he seemed pleasantly surprised. His pupils blown out, lips swollen, skin gleaming. He truly was a work of art. The magnitude of what you two had done hit you hard. So, naturally, there was only one thing left to do in panic.

Kick him out.

“Jungkook…you need to leave”

A/N: So, Idk what happened but yeah hope you all enjoy. Not sure if I’ll make this a series since I’m bad at continuing ideas. I may stick to separate scenarios. I get bored easily. However, please feel free to check out my blog and send me ideas for new fics

PSA: It’s not a mullet

THIS is Keith’s hair

Now, if you were to straighten it, this is the result you would get. Shaggy, long, it falls past his eyes and ears easily. In general, it’s shorter in the front, longer in the back; the stereotypical explanation but listen,,,

THIS is what a mullet would look like, mullets do not fall past the eyes or ears and typically (not drawn here) they are a LOT longer in the back. This is not what Keith’s hair looks like. 

JUUUST in case you don’t believe me, I traced the outline of an actual fucking mullet and put it on Keith. I think we can all agree those look absolutely nothing alike, okay?

Now, look at the outline of Keith’s hair compared to someone with shaggy/long hair, nearly identical right?

“But what about the famous mullet line?”

Have you met Lance? If there was any way for him to throw a jab at Keith he would, and if I was gonna roast someone’s hair I’d say it’s a mullet too tbh.

However, KEITH DOES NOT HAVE A MULLET.

Thank you for your time and please,,,,

Never let me see this again, thank you.

anonymous asked:

So apparently, baby ducks can imprint. How what would happen is that one day Derek just walks into Deaton's clinic with about ten baby ducks in his arms, which had been following him around all day since they decided for some reason that he is their mom and refused to let him out of their sight .

Derek totally didn’t name them, but, “I think Patrice has abandonment issues.” 

“Abandonment issues?” Deaton asked, blinking, and then “Patrice?” 

Derek just glared, averting his gaze. Alright, so he had named him. But only because it made them easier to tell apart. “Yes,” he gritted through his teeth, holding out the baby ducks for Deaton to take. “I can’t look after them. So here, you have to take them.” 

Deaton shook his head. “I think you’re doing just fine, Derek,” he said in a way that could either mean ‘fuck off’ or ‘these ducklings are part of some bigger plan that I’m not going to tell you about’ and then walked away. Just like that. 

The bastard.

~

Later that evening, Stiles came home to find Derek….and several ducklings on his bed. 

“Please tell me that’s not the pack,” was the first thing he said, panicked that he wasn’t feeling just as panicked about that scenario as he should be. He wasn’t going to lie and say the thought of Jackson being turned into a baby duck didn’t amuse him. 

Greatly.

“No, it’s not the pack,” Derek answered, rolling his eyes, letting one crawl into his hands. “I think….” he frowned. “I don’t think they have…parents.”

“Oh?” Stiles asked, carefully watching Derek’s face. 

“Yeah, “ Derek nodded, all serious and utterly adorable. “And….I don’t know what to do.”  It was hard to read Derek most of the time, but Stiles thought he was getting better at it and this was definitely Derek speak for: ‘I found these baby animals and now I am scared I’m going to hurt them because I don’t have the best track record. SOS, send help, I am a tragic, brooding, beautiful mess’.

Okay, so maybe not the last part. But Stiles was definitely on to Derek.

Derek looked up at Stiles then, as if reading his thoughts, like Stiles had all the answers to the universe. Usually, Stiles was flattered when Derek came to him for help. Well, not flattered, per se. Smug. Smug was the word he’d use. He liked being smug around Derek, his own personal fucked up foreplay. But right now, something different was tingling in the pit of his stomach. He felt warm, and maybe just a little bit helpless. He wasn’t sure if it was a feeling he necessarily liked. 

“Well, how about we start with a pond?” he suggested, leaning back against his bedroom door, resisting the urge to grab his phone and snap a picture.

“A pond?” Derek’s eyebrows shot up. “You mean, like, build a pond?” He started shaking his head, like the thought terrified him. 

Silly, beautiful wolf.

Stiles shrugged. “Why not? You have the money, don’t you? Plus, I think they like you.” He winked and Derek flushed, right to the tips of his ears. Stiles laughed.

“Come on, sourwolf,” he grinned, shaking his head, picking up his backpack from where he had dumped it on the floor. “Let’s go make us a home.” 

~

“It’s your turn to feed them,” Stiles groaned, turning in Derek’s arms. He swore he could hear the ducks already quacking impatiently. “Please, babe, I’ll do anything if I don’t have to get up right now. I’ll even blow you. Twice. It’s so waaaaaarm.” He stretched, like the lazy cat he was, and smiled all the way down to his toes. 

“Don’t call me ‘babe’,” was the only reply he received.

Stiles groaned again. “Sweetheart?” he tried, instead. “Honey? Chicken pot pie of my life?” 

For that, his Derek Hale shaped cover was snatched away from him. 

“What’s wrong with chicken pot pie???” he yelled, heart broken. Utterly, utterly heart broken. No, betrayed. Derek was mean. 

“Nothing, if you want to stay married to me, noodle.

Stiles grimaced. Okay, they’d work on their pet names for each other outside of sex later. They couldn’t just stick with ‘asshole’ - it was starting to lose its meaning when they fought. 

Shoving a pillow in Derek’s face, because when was that ever not satisfying, Stiles crawled to the side of the bed - and because he had no dignity - rolled out of it. “See if you get any sex when I get back,” he called over his shoulder, grabbing Derek’s boxers on the way out of the door.  

Derek only grinned when Stiles looked back, already falling back to sleep. 

Stiles refused to find it adorable. 

these mountains seem different and I’m learning how it feels to be alone again. I sleep on my back now…my, how the times have changed. each movement is carefree and these kisses meaning nothing to me right now. I am free flowing water and nothing can stop me from this erosion. I’m shaping my world into what I need, not what I want. this is it, this is what has been coming for me. 

Second Chances

Where you’re his ex-girlfriend and you see his new girlfriend wearing your t-shirt

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Masterlist linked in bio


Harry watches the wall clock as he waits patiently on his couch, counting the minutes until Y/n finally wakes up.

He’s barely slept all night, feeling a mix of anxiousness and misery as he thought of all the outcomes that could happen today. He also found himself looking at Y/n all night, watching her in her calmest state of mind and feeling a sense of tranquility as he sees her in her most beautiful form.

He could never get tired of it—admiring her in her sleep. But as the morning passed and the late afternoon started approaching, Harry didn’t know what the hell was going on.

She was still asleep, crashed on top of him as snores raided her mouth and the only movement being the slight rise and fall of her chest against his. He started to worry, solely for the fact that she slept at a completely reasonable time last night and was known to be an early riser. And since he barely got a blink of sleep, he knows she didn’t wake up for a second during the night.

Keep reading

Angst/Fluff Prompt List MVPs

This list contains some of my FAVORITE prompts. I tried to make sure it was balanced, but I’m not sure how well I did on that front lol. These are good for ANY fandom! (Please do not steal/repost the list, thank you <3)

  1.  “Stay here tonight.”
  2.  “I’ll keep you warm.”
  3.  “I’ve got you.”
  4.  “You mean too much to me.”
  5.  “I can’t sleep, can I sleep here?”
  6.  “We’ll figure this out.”
  7.  “This isn’t goodbye.”
  8.  “Here let me help you.”
  9.  “Kiss me.”
  10.  “I care about you.”
  11.  “Don’t cry.”
  12.  “Please don’t do this.”
  13.  “You make me feel safe.”
  14.  “I can’t do this on my own.”
  15.  “You have no idea how much I want you right now.”
  16.  “Why are you crying?”
  17.  “Nothing is wrong with you.”
  18.  “Tell me what’s wrong.”
  19.  “Just breathe, okay?”
  20.  “Don’t lie to me.”
  21.  “Who hurt you?”
  22.  “Don’t be scared, I’m right here.”
  23.  “You make me happy.”
  24.  “Don’t be afraid.”
  25.  “Come cuddle.”
  26.  “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
  27.  “I’m not leaving.”
  28.  “I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”
  29.  “I’ll always be there for you.”
  30.  “You’ve been quiet.”
  31.  “Calm down.”
  32.  “I’m just looking out for you.”
  33.  “No one is perfect.”
  34.  “It’s just you and me.“
  35.  “What’s on your mind?”
  36.  “I think I’m in trouble.”
  37.  “You’re in danger.”
  38.  “I can tell you’re lying.”
  39.  “It’s okay to cry.”
  40.  “Just go away.”
  41.  “I’ll keep you safe.”
  42.  “Are you okay?”
  43.  “Come with me.”
  44.  “I care about you.”
  45.  “Do you hate me?”
  46.  “I’m worried about you.”
  47.  “You look like hell.”
  48.  “It doesn’t matter.”
  49.  “You’re a terrible liar.”
  50.  “Everything is fine.”
  51.  “I don’t wanna be alone right now.”
  52.  “I need help.”
  53.  “I’m not okay.”
  54.  “Talk to me.”
  55.  “What happened last night?”
  56.  “You’re fun to touch.”
  57.  “Stop it.”
  58.  “I made a mistake.”
  59.  “This place is creepy.”
  60.  “Hold still.”
  61.  “We need to talk.”
  62.  “Here take my sweater.”
  63.  “I need a place to stay.”
  64.  “Never stop smiling.”
  65.  “I’ll keep you warm.”
  66.  “Please don’t go.”
  67.  “I hate you.”
  68.  “Get out!”
  69.  “I don’t need you.”
  70.  “I’m not ready to say goodbye.”
  71.  “Carry me.”
  72.  “Do not tempt me.”
  73.  “I missed you.”
  74.  “No one is perfect.”
  75.  “Do you have a problem with me?”
  76.  “Nothing is going to happen to you.”
  77.  “You need to be more careful.”
  78.  “You don’t have to leave.”
  79.  “I don’t feel well.”
  80.  “I didn’t drive all this way to say ‘hey’.”
  81.  “Please don’t hurt me.”
  82.  “I’m on my way.”
  83.  “We’re gonna be okay.”
  84.  “Why didn’t you just call me?”
  85.  “I need to tell you something.”
  86.  “I love your smile.”
  87.  “Are you hurt?”
  88.  “Look at me.”
  89.  “I’m not gonna hurt you.”
  90.  “You need to take your shirt off.”
  91.  “I can’t breathe.”
  92.  “Don’t move.”
  93.  “Are you cold?”
  94.  “Stay there.”
  95.  “I’m a mess.”
  96.  “Please don’t be mad at me.”
  97.  “This is all my fault.”
  98.  “You did what you had to do.”
  99.  “Don’t you ever change.”
  100.  “I love you.”
Secrets (trans!peter)


For @chase-is-not-crash

PART TWO

********************

“Crap crap crap crap crap.”

Peter, in full Spider Man costume, dropped onto a roof and ducked behind an AC unit, holding his right arm tight to his chest.

It hurt, oh man it hurt and he could hardly draw a breath between the pain and his binder was too tight today and honestly he thought he might pass out if he couldn’t get laying down somewhere safe. But on this side of the city he was minimum twenty minutes of swinging, and close to an hour taxi ride from the safety of Aunt Mays apartment.

Too far.

He dropped his head back against the AC unit and tried to suck in a deep breath, tried not to scream when everything seized up. His arm, his chest…this was a horrible day.

And he was late for his injection, which made everything worse. He was supposed to take it last night, and had passed out exhausted before he remembered and then had ran out the door late to school and now here he was several hours later.

“What’s up, Spidey?” A deep voice startled him, but not as much as the red and black masked face that poked around the corner. “I’m sensing a damsel in distress.”

“Go away, Deadpool.” Peter flinched behind his mask at the ‘damsel’ comment. “I’m fine.”

Liar!” Deadpool crowed and moved to kneel in front of him. “Who knew our friendly neighborhood Spider Man lied like a fat kid stealing cake?”

“Please.” Peter bit out. “Please. Leave.”

“Hey.” Deadpool’s voice dropped, softened. “You’re not alright, alright? Plus you’re like twelve, and I just can’t leave a twelve year old superhero alone and hurting on the roof somewhere. Where’s your dad?”

“Who–”

“The Iron Giant.” Deadpool said impatiently. “I heard he looks out for you.”

“Don’t want him to know.” Peter was starting to feel a little lightheaded, lack of oxygen and the pain radiating up his arm making him dizzy. “And I’m not twelve.”

“Well you certainly aren’t eighteen.” Deadpool looked around, then seemed to come to a decision. “Well, I live close by, want to come to my place? We can get you patched up and–”

No!” Peter blurted. “I mean, no. No thank you.”

Keep reading

ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY SENTENCE MEME

possible spoilers.

  • ‘ whatever i do, i do it to protect you. ‘
  • ‘ you’re confusing peace with terror. ‘
  • ‘ have to start somewhere. ‘
  • ‘ you will never win. ‘
  • ‘ come. we have a long ride ahead of us. ‘
  • ‘ is that ___ ? he/she/they look a little different than i imagined.’
  • ‘ what part of ‘urgent message’ do you guys not understand
  • ‘ you want to get out of here
  • ‘ congratulations. you are being rescued. ‘
  • ‘ i like to think he/she’s/they’re dead. it makes things easier. ‘
  • ‘ i’ve never had the luxury of political opinions. ‘
  • ‘ what we need is someone who can get us through the door without being killed. ‘
  • ‘ that is a bad idea. i think so, and so does ___. ‘
  • ‘ you find him/her/them, you kill him/her/them. then and there. ‘
  • ‘ why does he/she/they get a ___ and i don’t ? ‘
  • ‘ i find that answer vague and unconvincing. ‘
  • ‘ trust goes both ways. ‘
  • ‘ i will not fail. ‘
  • ‘ yes, i’m speaking to you. ‘
  • ‘ for that answer, you must pay. ‘
  • ‘ we’re not here to make friends. ‘
  • ‘ tell me you have a back-up plan. ‘
  • ‘ there are a lot of explosions for two people blending in. ‘
  • ‘ quiet
  • ‘ and there’s a fresh one if you mouth off again. ‘
  • ‘ let them pass in peace. ‘
  • ‘ is your foot alright
  • ‘ you almost shot me
  • ‘ there is more than one sort of prison, ___. i sense you carry yours wherever you go. ‘
  • ‘ not a day goes by where i don’t think of you. ‘
  • ‘ did they send you – ? did you come here to kill me ? ‘
  • ‘ all it’s ever brought me is pain. ‘
  • ‘ i will run no longer, but you must save yourself. ‘
  • ‘ it’s beautiful. ‘
  • ‘ i’m not very optimistic about our odds. ‘
  • ‘ i believe i owe you an apology, ___. your work exceeds all expectations. ‘
  • ‘ we stand here amidst my achievement, not yours
  • ‘ does he/she/they look like a killer ? ‘
  • ‘i don’t need luck, i have you. ‘
  • ‘ i have so much to tell you. ‘
  • ‘ you lied to me. ‘
  • ‘ you’re in shock. ‘
  • ‘ you’re in shock, and looking for someplace to put it. i’ve seen it before.’
  • ‘ i had every chance to pull the trigger. but did i ? ‘
  • ‘ i had orders. orders that i disobeyed. but you wouldn’t understand that. ‘
  • ‘ we don’t all have the luxury of deciding when we want to care about something. ‘
  • ‘ you’re not the only one who lost everything. some of us just decided to do something about it. ‘
  • ‘ be careful not to choke on your aspirations, ___. ‘
  • ‘ what chance do we have ? the question is, what choice ? ‘
  • ‘ the time to fight is now. ‘
  • ‘ every time i walked away from something i wanted to forget, i told myself it was for a cause i believed in. ‘
  • ‘ i couldn’t face myself if i gave up now. ‘
  • ‘ ___, i’ll be there for you. ‘
  • ‘ ___ said i had to. ‘
  • ‘ not used to people sticking around when things go bad. ‘
  • ‘ welcome home. ‘
  • ‘ one fighter with a sharp stick and nothing left to lose can take the day. ‘
  • ‘ make ten men feel like a hundred. ‘
  • ‘ good luck, little sister/brother. ‘
  • ‘ i’ve got a bad feeling about this – ‘
  • ‘ light it up. ‘
  • ‘ why does nobody ever tell me anything, ___ ? ‘
  • ‘ here. you wanted one, right ? ‘
  • ‘ your behavior, ___, is continually unexpected. ‘
  • ‘ ___ ! come back ! please ! ‘
  • ‘ ___, don’t go. don’t go. i’m here. i’m here. ‘
  • ‘ it’s okay. it’s okay. ‘
  • ‘ this is for you, ___. ‘
  • ‘ do you think anybody’s listening
  • ‘ you may fire when ready. ‘
  • ‘ ___ would have been proud of you. ‘