it’s okay if you used the wrong label. it’s okay if you got two or more things confused and are only figuring it out now. it’s okay if you’re unsure of a label but want to adopt it because there’s nothing else that fits better, or because it just feels comfortable.
labels are only here to help us understand ourselves better and to make things easier. it’s okay if you mess up. it’s fine if you got it wrong. it’s cool if you keep getting it wrong. you’re not hurting the aro community by switching, going through, or confusing labels. you’re allowed to explore yourself as much as you want, as deep as you want, as long as you want.
man, but, if there’s one thing sana and eva have major opposite views in, it’s music.
eva’s all about those loud party bangers and her playlist is things ranging from lana del rey to marina and the diamonds and selena gomez and ariana grande. pure pop, feel good songs that make you wanna get up dance.
sana’s all head bops and songs that get you pumped up, but in a more mental way. her playlist is shaped up to look like 2pac and kendrick lamar, beyonce and drake. songs that have a simple beat, but its the lyrics that are the definers.
so when they’re both together, god, the music becomes such a topic of controversial opinions.
“no eva that’s too loud,” “eva how can you listen to this?”
“sana this is some heavy stuff man,” “sana you honestly listen to 2pac? even now?”
but then there’s times, like when eva’s dancing to dangerous woman by ariana grande, and sana catches the way eva’s body moves. all slow and rhythmic, and sana’s heartbeat increases,
or sana’s having a practise session of basketball with dna by kendrick lamar on, and eva’s watching the lithe way sana’s body moves, all fast reaction times and hand eye coordination, and eva’s heart feels like it’ll burst with pride,
that they both realise why exactly they listen to the music they listen to, and why nothing else would quite fit them as much as the choices they have for their own reasons.
for focus, for feeling good, for motivating, for enjoying, for becoming serious, for letting loose, for portraying emotion, be it anger or wanting to feel determination or happiness and feeling sensual.
and so, maybe, just maybe, it’s nice. variety. being their own individual person, complete, whilst complementing one another, in being together too.
<b><p></b> <b>Aries:</b> Your mom said you had to.<p/><b>Taurus:</b> To boost your GPA.<p/><b>Gemini:</b> To avoid taking a final.<p/><b>Cancer:</b> You qualify for a fee waiver so why not? <p/><b>Leo:</b> Your friends are in the class. <p/><b>Virgo:</b> To get cheap college credit.<p/><b>Libra:</b> You didn't want to take the regular class.<p/><b>Scorpio:</b> You're actually interested in AP Environmental Science. <p/><b>Sagittarius:</b> An advisor encouraged you to. <p/><b>Capricorn:</b> To put it on your resume or college applications. <p/><b>Aquarius:</b> Nothing else fit in your schedule. <p/><b>Pisces:</b> To avoid a specific assignment (reading The Scarlet Letter, dissecting a fetal pig, etc). <p/></p><p/></p>
i couldn’t not write a quick story about the classic flour sack baby project and our favorite cinnamon rolls
“IM SO SORRY OH MY GOD!”
it was the fifth time Adrien dropped Petunia, their project, that counted for 60% of their grade
“please just try and be more careful”
Marinette said plucking the heavy sack from the bakery floor and blowing away the evidence.
“i’m not very good at this nurture thing, i’m gonna be the reason we fail”
Adrien said, still crumpled on the floor.
“i’m so sorry Marinette”
She thought that this project was a gift from some god above her, she got to spend all this time with Adrien and be with him for hours on end, now it just seems more stressful than blissful. But at the same time she pitied him. He didn’t have any brothers or sisters, but then again neither did she, all Marinette did was babysit from time to time. But Adrien didn’t have anything, a loving family, a sibling, he didn’t even have the opportunity to babysit any child. it just broke her heart to see him beat himself up.
She wanted to touch him, to offer some comfort, but she couldn’t muster up the courage.
He got the comfort himself by leaning his head into her shoulder and letting out the biggest sigh of his life, making Marinette as stiff as a board.
“here, let me try and put this in a better scenario”
She needed to say something so this head leaning thing didn’t become awkward.
“let’s pretend that this isn’t a baby, but a-ah-”
“a cat” he mumbled
“yeah! a cat! Think of it more as a pet than a baby, or a baby kitten!”
“Okay, i think that can work” She helped him to his feet and brushed whatever flour had gotten on him.
He sauntered over to where the sack was sitting on the floor, picking it up with both hands instead of one like he’s been doing.
“i’m not going to drop you anymore, i promise”
“What’s so funny?”
The next couple of days went swimmingly. Adrien hadn’t dropped Petunia once and they aced the midway check-up. He was learning slowly but surely, he even drew a little face on the bag. After spending all this time together Marinette’s parents invited Adrien over for dinner, after much protest from Marinette her parents insisted. They were only halfway through dinner and thunder bolts cracked across the sky.
“are you sure you don’t want to stay here for the night Adrien? That thunder storm seems very violent”
Adrien turned around in his seat and looked out the window, it was down pouring.
“Let me ask my father”
Marinette let out a sigh of relief
there is no way his father would ever let hi-
“He said it’s okay, so i guess i’m sleeping on the couch?” He said, shooting a cheeky grin to Marinette.
“Oh! i’ll go grab a pillow for you sweetie, Marinette go into our room and get some of your father’s pajamas for Adrien please”
She scurried off into the other room and rummaged through her father’s drawers to see if there was anything that could even fit Adrien.
But the same thought kept running through her head
Adrien Agreste is spending the night at your house, what?
“Marinette! Have you found anything?!”
Her mother was shouting for her, snapping her out of her fan girl day dream.
She grabbed the smallest pair of flannel pajama pants and one of Papa’s old shirts from high school, nothing else would fit him
“Yeah Petunia is quite the handful”
Marinette heard Adrien talking down the hallway. She could see him sitting with Petunia in his lap, talking with Papa.
“I have to admit i’m probably the worst candidate to be a parent but Marinette? She’s going to be a fantastic mother” Adrien said, while blushing like an idiot.
“Here’s some clothes for you”
Her parents both stood there admiring the two, until Marinette shot them a harsh look saying to back off.
“Well we’re off to bed, it’s your dish night Marinette so no going to bed until their finished” Papa shook his finger at her.
“I got it”
And then they were alone.
Marinette immediately ran over to the sink to avoid any conversation with him, she always managed to make things awkward whenever she was around him.
She jumped about ten feet in the air when she saw two more hands dunk in the sink next to hers.
“Your parents are really nice” He smiled
“They like company, and they seem to really like you”
His face got bright red, he seemed as if he was beaming.
“I’ve never really had a family dinner like that, it was nice”
There were a couple moments of awkward scrubbing. She didn’t really know what to say. She knew his father wasn’t very involved but it was never her business in the first place.
“Do you think i can come back for dinner again?”
A smile split across her face
They finished off the last dish and Adrien walked around the living room not sure where to go.
“You can change into these and then sleep on the couch, o-only if you want to”
“Yeah, that’s fine”
She nodded and headed up to her room.
“Thank you, for everything”
She nodded again and turned to continue walking up the stairs, tripping on her way there.
She just remembered that they never gave him any blankets. She gathered whatever leftovers were on her bed and ran downstairs.
She tried her best not to break out in an audible “aww”. He was already passed out on the couch, holding Petunia.
Marinette made her way down the stairs and covered him up with the blanket, placing Petunia beside him. While she was making sure he was settled, he’d woken up and risen enough to kiss her cheek.
This sprung from me thinking about all Dean’s charms/jewelry in season 1 and about Sam in the pilot (”Not normal. Safe.”) and became quite long and the usual pre-Stanford sad. It’s mostly brother feels and Sam disagreeing with John.
It starts with the amulet.
(It starts in Sioux Falls, when Sam asks Bobby for help
making Dad something for Christmas — Sam was thinking he could carve a whistle,
so the next time they went camping and Dad lost them in the woods they could
just call — and Bobby gives him the glowering little necklace charm and a
leather cord, says it’ll help keep John safe. Safe from what? Sam wonders, looks around and sees the world grow darker and
more menacing, danger in every waitress’s long fingernails or each gas station
attendant’s friendly smile. A few weeks later Dad leaves the journal behind;
and then Sam finally knows.)
He watches Dean put the amulet on and thinks, safe, breathes the word in and holds it
in chest. He wants to hug Dean, then, throw himself into his big brother’s arms
and hang on, but Dean is nearly fourteen and Sam is nine and hugs are for
babies or for the times Dad comes home bloody with beer on his breath and
squeezes Sam so tightly he thinks his ribs will crack. (It’s another three
years before Sam realizes Dad would never have used the whistle, not when he’d
intended all along to leave his boys in the woods and track them silently to
see what they’d learned.)
Of course, Dad comes back and finds out that Sam knows,
yells at Dean for telling him and yells at Sam for snooping in things that don’t
belong to him. (Dad used to bring him along to victims’ houses, before Sam knew
what that meant, taught him to check out medicine cabinets and rifle through
women’s purses for clues. Last year, Sam caught Dean picking pockets and made
him teach Sam how it’s done. Snooping,
Sam thinks, is just the Winchester way.) But Dad also seems to decide that
knowing means Sam is old enough to be left on his own, a loaf of bread and
money for groceries and the bus on the table, Pastor Jim’s number taped to the
phone and a bag of rock salt by the door.
Dean doesn’t look too happy about leaving Sam alone for the
monsters, but Dad grips Dean’s shoulder and says, “C’mon son, time you carried
your weight like a man,” and Dean’s whole face lights up brighter than
Christmas, barely stays long enough to ruffle Sam’s hair and tell him to be
good before he’s racing out the door. Dad thinks Dean’s a man, now, and he must think something good about Sam, because he
never realizes that the first few times they’re gone Sam shoves all the
bedspreads and spare towels under the beds so nothing else can fit underneath,
leaves the light on in the closet and spends the night in the bathtub
surrounded by salt, holy water in one hand and .45 between his bony knees.
I am now 100% convinced that Barba’s secret is going to be something related to the public record regarding Lewis coming back to bite him.
My evidence is mostly circumstantial, but consists of:
1. The foreshadowing earlier this season- “in my world, that (lying to cover someone else) gets you disbarred.” “Yeah, well, in my world, it gets you a promotion.”
2. The fact that the secret is something he can’t tell Benson about. Let’s be real, guys- Barson are best friends. The only thing he absolutely could not tell her would be if he had raped or killed someone himself… which just would not happen, ever. Or… he wouldn’t tell her if he was in trouble now because of how he protected her in the past. Because he still wants to protect her, and doesn’t want her to feel that guilt.
3. The filming locations listed while this episode was being made include Forlini’s, which is the Barson “sidebar” restaurant.
4. With Barba getting into territory that borders on malicious prosecution this season (I.E. in Imposter), it could all add up to a huge disciplinary investigation. That kind of thing is taken seriously. They could even work in a ripped from the headlines story regarding Mike Nifong of the Duke Lacrosse case- Nifong was disbarred for his misconduct. They could have something in-universe where Barba is treated the same once the Lewis-related details come out.
5. Let’s be real, guys. Barba is not going to be a criminal. Further, he is a good man What is risking his career has to be a case of professional misconduct that is still morally righteous. Nothing else would fit for Barba. This would fit the bill perfectly.
I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired of aphobia, and of friends telling me not to use 'the q slur' to describe myself when nothing else fits, when trying to pick a more specific label has always been destructive for me. I'm tired of acting straight. I'm tired of toxic relationship expectations and of fear of rejection or stigma if I mention a core trait of my identity. I miss my ace support group and I feel so lost. Not a question, just a rant (I'll be okay, even if sometimes it feels like not).