nothing bad will ever happen to you

EULOGY FOR AMERICA

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to say our goodbyes to our dear friend America, who died recently after a brief, intense battle with fascism and a long, slow battle with carbs. Thank you all for coming out to help say farewell. It’s not easy. But at least America died doing what it loved most: deep-frying Halloween candy while white men tried to explain to women what jazz is.

America was sick for a really long time. In the early stages, I think we were all in denial. You could tell that America was unwell—public displays of brutality, deeply internalized prejudice, “Entourage”—but it seemed curable. Just a case of plain old electile dysfunction. We thought that we’d caught the fascism early, but, as we now know, it had metastasized. America was more Florida than country by the end.

America was born right here, in America, and lived here its entire life. America was always about family. It is survived by its similarly ill father, Britain, and its large brood of children: baseball, Google, fireworks, losing your fingers to fireworks, giving your Uber driver only four stars because he talked to you, thinking granola is healthy, Chicago (the place), “Chicago” (the musical), “Chicago” (the movie adaptation of the musical), Chicago (the band), “Chicago Fire,” “Chicago Med,” “Chicago P.D.,” “Chicago Justice,” “Chicago ‘Chicago’ ” (a show about the Chicago production of the musical “Chicago,” coming to NBC this fall), and a bunch of wars.

I’d personally be nowhere without America. America was there when I was born, when I got married, when I saw Janet Jackson’s nipple at the Super Bowl. Remember that? After that happened, none of us slept for days, because we had never seen the pointy part of a boob on our TVs before, and it really upset us. America was really cool that way. It would always get mad when you’d see the pointy part of a boob on a TV. I’m gonna miss that.

However, we should not dwell on the loss of our dear country, friend, and place where all the Cheesecake Factories and Lids stores are. Today, let’s celebrate America’s life, and remember all of the remarkable things it accomplished and how many actors playing Spider-Man who keep getting cuter and younger were inside of it. America gave us so much. And, boy, did it look good for its age. America was two hundred and forty-one years old when it died, but it didn’t look a day over a hundred and sixty-four! It looked so young, it could’ve been the very same America that put its own citizens in internment camps!

America got a bunch of things really right. Mostly how to put food inside other food. Anyone can just eat a chicken. But in a duck?! In a turkey?! In a gun?! No one is going to forget the Turduckenun any time soon. America was so inventive that way. And, I mean, everyone does silly stuff when they’re young. America was beautiful, too. Sure, it was a little lumpy, and you could always see its Florida through its pants, but it just got hotter with age. So hot. It was so, so hot by the time it died. Almost too hot to live in.

If there’s anything we should take away from this tragedy, it’s that you should always check yourself for fascism, especially around your midsection. It’s easy enough to do in the shower. If you catch it early, it can be cleared up with a rigorous regimen of local elections and books and yoga. But America was cocky. Nothing bad had ever happened to it before! It assumed this fascism would pass, just like the Second World War and “Entourage” had.

What a shame. America was just the best damn country in the whole U.S.A. I’m sorry that I’m getting choked up. I get really emotional when I think of America, and also I took too big of a bite of Turduckenun and it got lodged in my windpipe. We will all miss America greatly. Every time I see an American flag or a gun, I’ll think of America. But we can all rest easy knowing America is in a better place now: Russia.

Masterlist

Click here for a computer version with summaries to the stories.

This should work on your phones too. Sorry it’s not been working properly. 
* = popular (200+ notes)

From oldest to newest. 

Late Night Call*

Close to You (Smut)*

Trying Something New (Smut)

In This Moment - One, Two

Dance For Me

Uncovered 

Sex Bomb (Smut)*

Better Together (Smut) - One, Two

Come Home to Me

Turning Me On (Teasing)*

This Isn’t You (contains a fight)*

Playing Nurse (Smut)*

Try My Best (My own fave)*

Hickeys (Smut)*

Treat You Better

Losing My Mind 

Always Be The Same (Smut)*

Craving You (Smut)*

Falling To Pieces*

Bad Reputation 

One Hundred Miles Away (Daddy Shawn)*

Panic Attacks 

Running Low (Smut)*

Promises (Smut)*

Moans (Teasing)*

Don’t Be A Fool (Smut)

This Isn’t Love*

So Much More (Smut)*

Turning Me On (follow up + smut)

Car Sex (Smut)*

Priorities (Smut + jeep sex)*

Kids in Love (Valentine’s special)*

Tease (Smut)*

It’s Not Jealousy (can be a trigger)*

Burns*

Anchor (sexual + trigger warning)*

Save A Life*

Keep It Down (Smut)*

One Last Time (Smut)*

Headspace*

Sunday Mornings (Smut)*

L’Uomo Vouge (Smut)*

Holding You Back (Smut)*

Hold On (trigger warning)*

Good Girl (Smut)*

Broken Dreams*

Secrets*

Monsters (daddy Shawn)*

Understand*

Too Much*

Your Body Is My Wonderland (Smut)*

Realization*

Vive el Momento (Smut)*

Just Right*

Quickly (Smut)*

The Only Exception*

Bad Temper*

Act Like You Love Me:

Part One*
Part Two* 
Part Three*

Bring It Back:

Part One*
Part Two (smut)*

First:

Part One*
Part Two (Smut)*

Line blurbs:

Waking up to Shawn’s boner (smut)*

Do You Miss Her?*

I’m Sorry He Broke Your Heart 

What The Hell Are You So Scared Of?

Today Was The Happiest Day In His Life

Do You Ever Think About Marrying Me?*

You Want To Have Kids With Me?*

Not As Much As She Likes Her

We Don’t Make Each Other Happy Anymore

I Promise You, Nothing Had Ever Happened At That Point 

Baby Please Wake Up, You Promised You Wouldn’t Do This Again*

Dating Shawn would include list*

Dating Shawn would include list pt. 2*

Bullet-points:

Shawn dating a short girl*
Shawn dating a tall girl
Shower sex
Bedtime (not sexual)*
Hungover
Shawn coming home from tour*

My favorite part of the movie is how great, happy and united my children are and how nothing bad EVER happens to them.

FOUND FAMILIES IS THE BEST TROPE EVER, YOU CAN FIGHT ME ON THIS

____
Please do not repost anywhere else :) | Original Tweet

Matt said yes guys, what a surprise, wow.


HAPPY FIRST ANNIVERSARY OF TECHIENICIAN!
(Oldest post is here, and here’s the first content for the ship. I don’t know who picked the name “Techienician”, please tell me if you know! I’d love to credit them here :D).

People on this site are just…disturbing when it comes to fiction in general.  They literally want everything to be perfect, happy sunshine and roses (probably because so many of them are living vicariously through fiction as a substitute for reality, and thus can’t help projecting themselves into it).  That’s just…not how fiction works.  That’s the most boring shit–who honestly wants to read/watch that???  We NEED strife in fiction, as there is strife in reality.  Characters NEED obstacles to overcome in order to have a character arc.  A story NEEDS a conflict to actually be a story.  If all you ever read is the kind of Mary Sue crap where everyone gets along, you’re going to be the most boring, sheltered motherfucker, and have no idea what to do when you get out into the real world.

Villains need to be allowed to be villains.

Characters need to be allowed to have bad things happen to them, even if they’re the “good guys”.

Fiction needs “bad” things, because it helps us recognize, understand, and cope with those “bad” things.

anonymous asked:

Could you list all of the tropes that you consider "feel good violence"?

Okay, “Feel Good Violence” is very simple as a concept. It’s violence that feels good, when you’re reading it, when you’re watching it on screen, because for the perpetrator violence can feel really damn good. However, that is violence when taken outside of context. It is violence without consequences. It is violence for the sake of violence. Violence that serves no purpose but to prove the character or person is tough.

Protagonist Sanctioned Bullying - Bullying in general is a fairly popular method to achieve “Feel Good Violence” because bullying does feel good. The audience sympathizes with the protagonist, so when the protagonist acts they cheer for it. Its not presented as bullying by the narrative, but it is still bullying. Usually it’s a rival or a character set up to “deserve it”, but sometimes not.

Making people afraid makes you feel tough. Many authors will fall prey to the sweet lure of bullying and not even know it because bullying is violence without fear of consequence. Most often, they’ve been the recipients rather than the perpetrators, and acting as the bully is a very different ballgame. It is an emotional and psychological high. You feel big, strong, safe, and untouchable. Powerful. In their worst incarnations, most superheroes become bullies.

Bullying is all about control, protected status, and freedom from consequences. An entirely fictional world creates the opportunity for all these things, with the narrative itself siding with the bully. Bullying is Feel Good Violence writ large in real life. It’ll follow you into the fictional world just as easily. Power is a high you never forget.

This is very common trope for characters who also act as a means of self-insertion by the author. For them, it isn’t bullying. It’s an example of how awesome their character is and how tough they are.

Everything But Dead - When the only morals applied are if someone died, the rest is sanctioned without comment. There are no narrative consequences for the character’s behavior, and everyone cheers them on. Anyone who calls them out is an acceptable target, usually evil, or the protagonist wins them over in the end because their actions are “justified”.

By Any Means Stupid - This is the “by any means necessary“ trope, where the violence really isn’t necessary and the author just wanted an excuse to paint the room red.

Unprovoked Violence Is Always the Solution - This is the one where the protagonist skips all the other steps and goes straight to preemptive violence against a total stranger, for no reason other than it makes them appear tough. Usually not framed by the narrative as bad, but it is. Oh, yes, it is. Worse there usually aren’t any consequences for the hero physically assaulting someone in a room full of witnesses because everyone knows they’re the hero, right?

Random Violence Before Strangers is A-Okay -  The protagonist disembowels a bully in front of their victim in order to protect them and receives effusive thank yous. Nothing comes from this. The bad guy is dead. We all feel good. All is right in the world. Except… violence freaks people out.

Acceptable Targets - These are people designated by the writer as non-entities and targets for violence regardless of narrative context. A very slippery slope that is ever descending. But, you know, it feels good? Sure, so long as you’re not on the receiving end. This kind of dehumanization happens in real life too, just in case you were wondering.

Beating Up My Source - You have a character who collects information from an old standby, they threaten and beat up that standby regularly to show they’re tough. At what point does this seem like a terrible idea? Never! Hey, they’re a bad person so you feel good, right?

Waving My Gun Around - Trigger discipline is just the beginning of this problem. A gun is not a toy. but you’ll find a vast array of narratives who use it that way in order to look tough.

Killing Your Way to the Top - You can’t really destroy organizations like this. Killing the people at the top will just lead to someone else taking their place. Whenever you create a power vacuum someone will fill it. You can’t destroy an organization by killing. It doesn’t work. But, it feels good!

Must Obviously Be Boy - Because female fighters are unicorns and the mooks have never laid eyes on a woman before. Usually part of a larger narrative issue with violence, but acts as a “get out of jail free” card.

Clear the Building - That time the character decided to knock everyone out to prove that they are tough. Weirder when it happens on stealth missions.

I Am Not Gaining Levels - When you’re reading a book and the character is fighting like it’s a video game. They fight everyone like they’re in an RPG chasing XP. Why? We don’t know, but it makes them feel good.

Let Me Shoot Him Twenty Times - We could call this spray and pray, but let’s pretend for a moment the magazine could run dry.

Magic Bullets - The bullets that go where you want, stop when you want, and don’t cause accidental casualties. You know, like the protagonist blind firing through a wall and hitting a four year old playing in the yard across the street.

Body Armor Always Prevents A Blow-through - Nope!

New to Training, Perfect Sparring - That time the main character took on their evil rival (school’s top/better trained student) in a sparring match and won, especially when it was their first day.

Sparring Just In General - The vast majority of Western media doesn’t understand the concept or purpose of sparring. Many authors seem to think its a UFC match where you just beat each other up and the first thing you do during training to “assess your capabilities”.

Queuing for Combat - This is an old Hollywood trick where the burden of a group fight is lifted as the stuntmen wait their turn to fight the protagonist. Particularly egregious in written action sequences where the author doesn’t grasp the concept of teamwork. It also warps the understanding of how many people its possible for a human to fight at once.

Terrible At Torture - Torture is a terrible way to gain information in general because it doesn’t lead to a confession so much as confirmation bias. The subject will tell you whatever you want to hear because they want the pain to stop. It’s even worse when done poorly, which it is 90% of the time. Usually, media uses it for shock value or to prove how tough a protagonist is. Torture is not putting a blowtorch to someone’s foot and hoping for the best. It’s far, far more complicated than that. Neither torturer nor subject come out of the experience whole. Besides, the unimaginative protagonists say, “screw you!” The clever ones lie.

What Is: Dress for Success - How we dress our characters is often necessary for crafting a sense of narrative realism. This comes in often as a reason for why its so difficult to take female action heroes seriously, but it happens to the guys too. Not a bad trope on its own, but often symptomatic of a larger narrative approach to violence that ends with “feel” and “good”.

Beautiful and Badass - This one is a very specific female fantasy, which is that you can meet all the cultural standards and definitions for beauty while being in direct defiance of them. These are the female characters who are never touched by the combat they engage in. They are always graceful, always elegant, always beautiful in motion and the narrative will pause to tell us this often. “She fights like she’s dancing.” For these characters, their supermodel-esque beauty is a natural extension of their being. They don’t work at it. Combat is incidental. It’s a set piece to tell you how awesome the character is. It generally amounts to nothing, serves no real narrative purpose, but by god the author is going to walk us through it in excruciating detail. Combat and character are separate, and consequences are for other people.

My Instincts Performed A Wheel Kick - Your instincts just don’t work that way.

There’s probably more, but that hits most of the major sins.

Keep in mind that many of these tropes are not issues by themselves. They often work when context and consequences are taken into account by their narrative/setting. Generally, this results in characters with no accountability for their behavior and exhibit no responsibility for their actions. The issue, of course, is that responsibility and accountability are what make well-written violence work. Violence often drives the narrative. It’s part and parcel to who the character is, and their decision making. It’s the difference between a character who presents themselves as tough or skilled and one who actually is.

-Michi

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RIVERDALE MEME.
episodes 1-4 / ( change pronouns as needed. )

CHAPTER 1: THE RIVER’S EDGE

  • “i’ve been thinking about us.”
  • “i’m asking you now if you love me.”
  • “of course i love you, ____. but i can’t give you the answer you want.”
  • “one summer can change everything.”
  • “it’s about following your heart, right?”
  • “as long as you don’t give up your passion.”
  • “eventually, there will be a reckoning.”
  • “that entitlement you wear on your head like a crown? it won’t last.”
  • “are you scared, ____?”
  • “don’t freak out. just trust me.”
  • “i’m breakfast at tiffany’s, but this place is strictly in cold blood.”
  • “he was looking for the girl next door. instead, he found me.”
  • “you wanted fire? sorry, _________. my specialty’s ice.”
  • “just… talk to her. it could go a long way. would have gone a long way with me.” 
  • “you are so perfect. i’ll never deserve you.”

CHAPTER 2: A TOUCH OF EVIL

  • “romeo and juliet are the exception, not the rule.”
  • “once again, fate throws us together.”
  • "sardonic humour is just my way of relating to the world.”
  • “what? what are you going to do?”
  • “i’m not. i want to be. i thought i could be. but it’s too much, too fast.”
  • “what do you know about it, _____? or about me, even?”
  • “he wasn’t perfect. but he always tried to do the right thing.”
  • “sometimes a friend is better than a boyfriend.”
  • “why don’t we both just do that bro thing where we nod like douches & mutually suppress our emotions?”
  • “is there something you want to tell me, pal?”
  • “did you & _______ kill him together?”
  • “i’m alone.”
  • “we’re not gonna hug in front of the entire town.”
  • “it’s like there was a train that was going to the rest of my life. & i just… missed it.”
  • “it is not my fault he doesn’t like you.”

CHAPTER 3: BODY DOUBLE

  • "spoken like a true good girl who always follows the rules.”
  • “i don’t follow rules, i make them. & when necessary, i break them.”
  • “nothing this bad was ever supposed to happen here.”
  • “you don’t want to slow down, do you?”
  • “they have zero remorse for the lives they destroy.”
  • “does he not know who i am?”
  • “i’d love to stay. but i gotta shake down an evil adventure scout.”
  • “not bad.”
  • “maybe i don’t know _______.”
  • “you came through for me. in a way no one else ever has before.”
  • “i would’ve done anything to protect _____.”
  • “i saw the way you looked at me. … you’re hiding something.”
  • “maybe we should slow it down a little.”
  • "she’s right.”
  • “would i have complete freedom?”

CHAPTER 4: THE LAST PICTURE SHOW

  • “where did you find all of this?”
  • “oh, i’m already there!”
  • “you’re right. i’m selfish, & i’m stupid.”
  • “make some room, outcasts.”
  • “what’s next, selling her hair extensions?”
  • “it’s off-brand & sends a false message about acceptance.”
  • “shut the hell up, or you’ll find out!”
  • “i just hate when people disrespect my cinematic experience.”
  • "i’ll figure it out. i always do.”
  • “you are not the things you said.” 
  • “you’re not stupid. this wasn’t your fault.”
  • “i have a strong inkling.”
  • “threatened, much?”
  • “i learned that from the nancy drew detective handbook.”
  • “if you really are my friend, you’ll drop this.”

Dear Ex-Best Friend,
So I’m writing this currently and there’s so much I could say but I don’t know how to say any of it. Are you hurting, are you affected by this at all? I’m not trying to come off as an ass but I genuinely want to know are you hurting. I mean when the final decision was made I cried on and off for 2 hours. And currently, I’m still not fully over it. I don’t think I ever will be. I know they’ll be days when I see you at school or on the bus and my heart will just hurt because it’ll make me think of what we used to have and it’ll want that again. I hate the fact that I lost you, my best friend. The memories we shared are ones I’m never going to forget. They’ll always be in the back of my mind and every now and then they’ll come back and show me the amazing life I had with you. You were there for me through pretty much everything whether the problem is big or small. You made me feel like I wasn’t alone and that I didn’t have to feel weird about things. You were also my support and backbone through everything, whether the situation is stupid or serious. You were always there and now not having you here a piece of me is missing. When you left I literally felt my heart just break and then I felt empty, but now I don’t know what I feel. I just feel nothing I guess. I wanted you to be the friend that when my kids asked “Mom who is your best friend?”, I could say you. I wanted us to be the 2 old crazy ladies in the nursing home dancing to One Direction. I wanted you to be the one to help me plan my wedding and my baby shower(s). I wished and wished that we could be those friends that their bond lasts forever, but it was only just a wish. Eventually, I’ll move on but I’ll never forget you, and I hope you’ll never forget me. I still look at your page and from an outside point of view it looks like you don’t care, but I don’t really know that. I hope I don’t look stupid for crying all that time and just wishing it was a dream that I could wake up from. I hope that I’m not the only one who now has a piece of their heart missing that’ll never be found. I hope one day along the road possibly we can bump into each other and automatically connect like nothing ever bad happened. I’m probably hoping for something that’s never going to happen but hey, a girl can only hope. I guess this is goodbye. I don’t want it to be but it has to. Well, bye I guess and I hope you have a good life.

Sincerely,
Your ex best friend

Y’all: mental illnesses are complex and no one hardly ever fits all known symptoms for an illness which is why the way we professionally diagnose is really flawed considering the first DSM was published in the 50′s and each new addition is constantly adding to what we previously thought were set and stone definitions, while is should be considered, its also still a flawed document because many illnesses are still desperately under researched. Also nothing is textbook and people experience their symptoms in different ways and at different stages in life so we should respect everyone who doesn’t exactly fit textbook definitions of illnesses and disorders

Y’all, also at the same time: if you didnt stub your toe on the first of June before your 6th birthday while it was 70 degrees outside and raining you don’t really have this disorder. :/ however if you want to publicly tell me, in full detail, every bad, traumatizing thing thats ever happened to you in your life i might consider that you are valid :3c

underrated lego batman movie moments

• “dc… the house that batman built… yeah what, superman?… i’m your kryptonite”

• “ this plane is carrying dynamite, guns, acid… and two best friends!”

• killer croc planting a bomb and shouting “i did something!”

• the guy driving down the road singing “nothing bad ever happens to me” before he gets caught by the riddler

• “what about the time (batman defeated you) with the parade and the prince music?”

• harley is joker’s “girl buddy” and there’s no evidence of them ever dating

• “who always pays their taxes? not batman ;)))”

• harley’s roller skates!!!

• batman finishing his lobster thermidor and then randomly pulling out an electric guitar and SHREDDING IT UP

• “my name’s richard, but all the kids at the orphanage call me dick” “kids can be cruel”

• barbara went to “harvard for police”

• alfred placing a parental lock on the batcomputer

• “what’s the password?” “IRON MAN SUCKS”

• martian manhunter’s sick dance moves at the justice league dance party

• krypto the superdog is the justice league party dj

• alfred dressing up in the old batman costume because he “misses the 60s”

• “getting criminals to fight other criminals? that’s ridiculous”

• “CAAN SCAARECROOW HELLP”

• dick going to the batcave and dressing up in the nightwing costume!!!

• “british robots. ask your nerd friends”

• “so… you mean to tell me… bruce wayne is BATMAN???…’S ROOMMATE???”

• at the end when everybody’s celebrating, ivy kisses some guy out of happiness and he just straight up dies

• mariah carey voices gotham’s mayor and channing tatum voices superman sdsdfgdf

• “BATFAMILY PHOTO!!!”

• getting RICKROLLED by dick grayson… what a memer

• the shark repellent actually getting used against king shark

• bruce and barbara don’t ever get together

• the way gotham clicks back together is downright hilarious

• joker wearing those crazy costume aviators with the bars through them

• selina has three lines throughout the entire movie and every single one is just a variation of the word “meow” (even in the ‘blooper reel,’, which makes out that the characters are aware they’re acting, she’s still saying meow)

• the gotham city sirens jamming out together

• the dance party at the end??? so pure??? 

to summarise, i love the lego batman movie with all my heart god bless

Good Girl

Anonymous said:
Can you write a daddy kink one with Calum or Michael with a lot of teasing and spanking and overstimulation and being called Kitten and Princess omg pls that would be some lit quality shit

fuck ya girly i gotchu 

~

Pillows surrounded us as the movie played softly in the background. His finger tips ran along my spin coming up to play with the ends of my hair. “How was class today, princess?” Calum whispered. “It wasn’t the best, but you’re here and that’s all that matters.” I smiled. Calum took my chin in-between his fingers, looking at my lips, then right back at me.

“Mm, you look so fucking good right now,” Calum bites his lip. I rolled my eyes smiling, when his hand comes down to my hips squeezing it. “Don’t roll you eyes at me again, kitten.” His eyes stared me down. “Yes, daddy,” I nodded, leaning into his touch. “C’mon princess, I have a surprise for you.” Calum said. “Oh, but I don’t wanna move.” I pouted.

Calum raised an eyebrow, “You’ll want to move when you see what you have in store with the way your acting.” I sat up quickly, following him up the stairs and into our bedroom. Calum and I have never really tried kinks, but we’ve talked about them. Anytime things become intimate, they are not rough, I could tell it was love, not something meaningless, nevertheless Cal would ever treat me like that. “Tonight, we’re trying something different kitten.” He said while grabbing my hips. I nodded, and sat on the bed.

He went to the closet, pulling out a box from the top shelf, and set it on the side table. He pulled out a blindfold, a few ties, and left the room again. I knew not to get up and follow him because if I did, that would not make Calum happy. He came back with a cup of ice, no water, just ice. “Um, why do you have ice?” I questioned. “Don’t speak unless I give you permission, princess.” Calum said.

Calum walked over to me, removed my shirt while kissing my neck “Now, you know I barley punish you nor do I like too, but that’s going to change kitten,” Calum said. “Calum, what-” I was cut off by being flipped around. “I’m sorry, what did I say?” Calum said. “Not to speak unless you give me permission.” I answered. “That’s right, princess, and what did you do?” He asked. “I spoke without permission.” I could tell he was pleased by this.

“Good girl, but, you still defied the rules, you know what that means right?” I nodded as he spoke. “Now, lay across my thighs,” He motioned. I whined quietly, knowing that this night was not going to be anything like I thought. “I want you to count okay, baby girl?” Calum said. I nodded, as I suck in a breath preparing for whatever was going to happen.

Calum landed a slap upon my right cheek, a whimper falling from my lips as I let myself clutch onto Calum’s leg, my body immediately relaxing into the sensation that is going to be driving me up the wall soon. “One,” I whispered, barley enough for him to hear. Another slap on my left cheek, making my nails dig into the rough material of Calum’s jeans. “Two,” I whimpered. “Good girl,” Calum whispered kissing my spine. The slaps continued until tears filled my vision, “Ten,” I sniffed.

Calum let me sit up, as he wiped my tears away, “See it wasn’t so bad now was it, princess?” He cooed. “No, daddy.” I said. “Good, lay back,” Calum instructed. I laid back, letting the cool sheeting sooth my red bum. “Hands up, we are not quite done yet,” Calum said while taking my hands and tied them together to the head board.

Calum only ever tied me up once, and god did I love it. I bit my lip in anticipation, waiting for whatever was next to happen. “To make things interesting, I’m going to blindfold you okay, kitten?” Calum said, grabbing the purple fabric from before. My eyes were covered, seeing nothing, I mean what did you expect? His fingertips slid down my body making goosebumps arise to my skin.

“God, you’re going to be the death of me,” Calum breathed, kissing every part of my skin. I felt something cold being dragged down my skin and rested on my stomach. His lips touched mine for a passionate kiss as his hand snaked down in-between my legs. At the first flick of my clit, I cried out into Calum’s mouth, my hips grinding into his hand. He slipped a finger into me, pumping slowly. The pace of his finger was driving me mad, making me squirm underneath him.

“Stay still, princess,” Calum ordered. It was one of Calum’s rules; I couldn’t move or he’d stop touching me, even if it was during one of my treats. I tried my hardest not to move, but I accidentally bucked into his hand when he pressed against my g-spot. He immediately took his hand away from me, sucking  his finger between his lips.

I could tell Calum was smirking by the way he kept pacing around the bed. “Wanna tell daddy what you want, baby girl?” Calum said. “I want your tongue, I want your cock, fuck daddy I want it all,” I was not ashamed. “Such a dirty mouth for a pretty little girl,” Calum chuckled. “You want my tongue huh, kitten?” Calum daunted, removing the blindfold. I nodded, blinking trying to adjust to the light.

I felt his lip wrap around my clit, lightly flicking it a few times. I inhaled deeply only to exhale with a moan as he continued his actions. He released me from his mouth, looking me right in the eyes as he entered his finger in, again. A long whimper came out of my mouth as Calum moved his fingers again. “God, you look so fucking sexy withering under my fingers,” He smirked placing his lips on my clit again. He pushed another finger in, making my orgasm come into play. “Daddy, please can I cum?” I moaned.

“Go ahead princess, be as loud as you want,” Calum mumbled. “Look at me,” he orders. Already used to taking orders from Calum, I immediately look at him. “Mm, daddy,” I whimpered. My legs shook around Calum as he held them open, making me ten times for sensitive. “Fuck, you taste so good,” Calum moaned. My chest rose and fell as I caught my breath, but I sucked in another breath when Calum rubbed his tip against my entrance.

“You want it, baby? Tell daddy how much you want it,” Calum said. “Daddy please, fuck me I want your cock, please.” I begged. He grinned slamming into me. My wrists pulled at the restraints, sure to give me some type of burn. Calum held my hips as he fucked me into oblivion “Princess, I can tell you’re ready to cum any minute,” Calum moaned. “Daddy, I am,” I said.

“Oh Caluum, yes daddy fuuuuck” I yelled, unable to control my body anymore, my gaze on his as he watched my face contract at the same time my walls did around his cock. When I finally came down, breathing heavily, I found myself more tired than I’ve probably ever been after such an experience. Forcing my body not to move and having to absorb pure pleasure was actually much more exhausting than I’d have thought. Calum must’ve noticed too as he gently stroked my cheek, before kissing his way down my stomach, then back up again to my ear. “I’m impressed, you’ve done so good baby girl” he whispered, “but we are not over.”

I shook my head, not able to take anymore pleasure. “Kitten, if daddy says more, you know what it means,” Calum smirked. “Daddy, I-i can’t,” I couldn’t even talk. “Yes you can, and you will baby,” Calum said. I saw Calum pull out the white toy, which intimidated me more than it should have. “You remember this one princess?” Calum said showing me the toy, “I know this is your favorite, so tonight, we’re going to play with it.”

“Daddy, please don’t I can’t handle it.” I whined. “Sounds like you wanna make the rules, is that how it goes princess?” He asked. “Sorry, daddy,” I said. Calum turned on the vibrator to a low setting and dragged it all over my body, making me shiver. “Baby girl, this is suppose to relax you, not tense you up.” Calum chuckled, feeling my reaction.

My legs immediately closed around the vibrator when Calum set it on my clit. “Keep ‘em open for my princess,” Calum pushed my thighs apart. My back arched off the bed as my orgasm hit me like a bucket of bricks. “There you go baby, just like that.” Calum cooed. My body caved in, my feet dragged on the bed while Calum put the vibrator on a higher speed.

“Oh daddy!” I yelled, my whole body shook in euphoria as I came around the toy. “That’s my good girl, cum for daddy.” Calum groaned. My toes dragged against the bed, as I came around the vibrator and profanities left my mouth. “Daddy, daddy fuck,” I moaned. Calum took the vibrator off only to lick my clit again. I was already in a state of sensitivity.

“God, you’ve done so well kitten,” Calum said, beginning to untie my hands. “But now, I want you to suck me off like the good girl I know you are,” He growled. I was already out of energy when Calum pulled me up. I stared in awe at Calum’s cock, probably drooling. “Stop staring princess,” Calum chuckled. I bit my lip, taking his cock in my hand, slowly pumping it.

Calum groaned, “C’mon princess, you know I don’t like waiting.” I smiled up at him, kissing the tip. With my tongue broad and flat, I licked the whole length of him, making eye contact. I alternated between sucking, swirling my tongue one way and then another, and flicking it lightly. I wrapped one hand around the base of his shaft, and move it up and down in time with the movements of my mouth. I ran my nails on the inside of his thighs, making Calum whimper. “Fuck princess.” He grabbed my hair.

“Princess, s-stop I wanna cum in that pretty little pussy of yours.” Calum groaned, unable to hold his moans in. I took him out of my mouth, “Daddy, I have a question.” I trailed. “What is it, baby girl?” Calum asked. “Can I ride you, daddy?” I asked shyly. “You wanna ride daddy? Well, I suppose that’s fine.” He chuckled. Calum laid on the bed, cock in hand as I walked over to him.

He cupped my breasts in his hands, groping and tugging roughly. “Yes, daddy,” I moan, burying my face into the crook of his neck. “Oh, God, yes.” “You going to cum for me, baby girl?” “Mmmhmm.” “Come on, baby, cum for me.” My orgasm rockets through my body, sending me into a state of frenzy. Moans and curse words slip out of my mouth. I continue to rock my hips against Calum as I come down from my high, milking my orgasm for as long as possible.  “There you go, baby.” Calum coos.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” Calum moaned, his hands moving to my hips. “Cum for me daddy,” I bit his neck, making sure to leave my mark. I felt Calum release inside of me, making me fall on top of him. “God, that was-” “Amazing.” I finished for him. “I love you, princess,” Calum kissed my forehead. “I love you too, daddy.” I said.

Masterlist - Updated 30/4/17

Originally posted by sebastiansource

- read my masterlist here . Please come and let me know your favourites -

Series

Training With Bucky - A series of connected one shots of what’s like to train with Bucky Barnes based off these headcanons here - Part 1

Ficmas - A series of christmas drabbles - Masterlist

Daddy Drabbles - A series of drabbles which detail the adventures of our favourite characters as fathers - Masterlist

100 Kinks - 100 kinky drabbles to celebrate Bucky’s 100th birthday (smut)

Front Line Love - Reader a nurse during WW2 finds herself at the same camp as Bucky. - Part 1, Part 2 (smut)

Riding in cars with boys - A smutty drabble series featuring all our favourite Sebastian Stan characters in cars, so come along for the ride. - Part 1: Carter

Bucky x Reader- Prompt drabbles

“I’m tired of being your secret”/“Sometimes, there is nothing better than some good old-fashioned, no string attached fucking” (SMUT)

“Will you just tell me the truth?”

“You don’t need to protect me”/“Didn’t realise I needed your permission”

“I think you’ll be happy to know that I’m not wearing any underwear.”

“I remember practicing how to ask you out in the mirror..”

Bucky + knives + dirty talk (SMUT)

Under the table at black tie gala (SMUT")

“It’s Christmas, don’t be mad at me.”

“Welcome to fatherhood”

“Stop being so cute”

“How is my wife more badass than me?”

“I’m not buying IKEA furniture again.”

Keep reading

you know what? i’m gna say it, jimin is so cute and he looks adorable when he doesn’t have any makeup on, when his hair is messy, when he has swollen eyes, a soft tummy, a pimple on his face, when he just cutely pouts, when he squint his eyes whenever he laughs so hard, it feels like the whole world is balanced and nothing bad could happen, the fresh breeze outside, the sun shining brighter than ever, the birds are chirping, my crops growing, my family healthy, thank you jimin, i love you

Neglected Starter Pack
  • “Do you hate me?..”
  • “Is there a reason i haven’t seen you for a while?”
  • “Why are you running away from me?”
  • “Fine. You wanna be away from me so bad, go.”
  • “I didn’t do anything to you!..”
  • “I miss you..”
  • “Please answer me..”
  • “Don’t leave again!”
  • “Whatever i did, I’m sorry!”
  • “Stop avoiding me!”
  • “I just want you back..”
  • “I was there for you, why aren’t you there for me?!..”
  • “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you..”
  • “I don’t need you anymore.”
  • “If you want me gone, just say so.”
  • “You blocked me, deleted my number, erased me from the picture, what’s happening?!..”
  • “Don’t you love me anymore?..”
  • “Am i just nothing to you?
  • “You don’t care, then?”
  • “Did you ever care about me?!”
  • “I needed you! And you weren’t there!”
  • “I hate you.”
  • “I love you so much…”
  • “I loved you once. I can’t ever again.”
Send To All - Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Prompt: There’s this comedian called Michael Mcintyre who has a chat show and sometimes plays this game called “send to all” where he takes the guests phone and sends a mass text out then reads the replies out. It’s on you tube and hilarious but anyway i was wondering if you could do something where the reader is an actress on the show and agrees to play and he sends out a flirty text or something like that and she gets a few funny replies from Evans, Fassbender, Macavoy, Cumberbatch and TOM HIDDLESTON
Note: Okay so I went a bit mad with this one and did make a few adjustments, however 99% of it is what was asked for. This one is for the lovely @dohegotthesuperbooty - I’m sorry it took so long (I’m really behind!!) - for anyone who is interested, the video behind this idea can be found here.

Originally posted by letlovebyourenergy


You were stood at the side of the stage awaiting your cue; it was your turn to appear on several British chat shows to promote your new film. You were staring in a new rom-com opposite Tom Hiddleston; the two of you had become very close over the last course of shooting the film, a fact that had purposely been left out of the media.

The show you were appearing on was that of comedian Michael McIntyre. All you could think about was his infamous game of ‘Send to All’. The producers had prepared you for the game; however it was up to the host as to whether or not you would be playing.

From centre stage, you heard Michael call your name. You began to walk over, the crowd went wild. Walking over to your seat, you waved to the audience. Once you reached the spot where Michael was stood, he gave you a friendly hug and welcomed you to the show. The two of you took your seats. Once the crowd had quietened down, he welcomed you to the show once again.
“So, welcome to the show!” He smiled.
“Thank you!” You said with a smile, “Thanks for having me, I’m a big fan of the show but I never thought I’d be sat here!” You exclaimed.

The interview was going extremely well, you were laughing and joking with both the audience and the host. Then he said those words you really didn’t want to hear.
“So we have a bit of a tradition on this show.” Michael began to laugh; everyone knew what he was going to say. “I like to play a lovely little game called ‘Send to All’ with my guests, are you up for a go?”
You started to think, what options did you have? If you were to say no… well, you’d only be forced to play to prove you had nothing to hide.
“Sure!” You said, a little too enthusiastically.
“Excellent!” Michael matched your tone. “The rules are simple, I’m going to come up with a message to send to all of the contacts in your phone and we’re going to leave it over the course of the show and then see who replies!”
“Great, can you just not send it to my mum” you laughed, as did everyone else in the studio.

“Okay, I think I’ve come up with the perfect message” Michael grinned.
“Oh no” you joked as you handed over your phone.
“Here goes…” Michael typed each word as he said it. “Hey, it… feels… like we haven’t seen… each other… in such a long time…” Michael stopped typing and looked over to you, he was giggling at the message he was typing. You on the other hand were using your laughter to disguise how red your face had become. “Why don’t we…” he continued to type “meet up… for a drink… or two?” Michael turned to you once again, “Do you use emoticons?” he asked.
“Probably too much” you responded.
“Excellent, how about little kisses?” he asked.
“Yeah, I guess, just one though. And always lowercase!” you added.
“In that case, I’ll add a little winking face and a kiss!” He looked up and addressed the audience. “Ladies and gentlemen, we have our text message!” The audience cheered. “Okay, here’s the message…” he paused and cleared his throat, “Hey, it feels like we haven’t seen each other in such a long time. Why don’t we meet up for a drink or two [question mark] [winking face] [kiss]” he laughed, as did the audience. You began to laugh but at the same time you were slowly bringing your hands up to your face to once again, cover up how red it was. “What do you think, shall we send to all?!” He asked the audience. They went wild. “It’s gone, sent!” Michael turned back around and walked to his seat to continue your interview.

You spent the rest of the interview trying not to think about the messages currently coming through to your phone. You had just about removed the thought from your mind when Michael said “Right, well there’s just one last piece of business we need to discuss before I let you go.” He paused while the audience reacted. “Let’s read out some of the replies to the text we sent from your phone shall we? Okay so the message we sent read ‘Hey, it feels like we haven’t seen each other in such a long time. Why don’t we meet up for a drink or two [question mark] [winking face] [kiss]’. Wow, okay so you’ve got a fair few replies here!” The audience cheered.
“Better than getting none I suppose” you joked.
“Right, first up we have Chris Evans ladies and gentlemen! Wait, is this Captain America Chris Evans or BBC Radio DJ Chris Evans?” he asked you.
“I don’t think I should answer that until you’ve read the reply,” you laughed “no it’s Captain America Chris Evans” you smiled.
“Well Chris replied with ‘Dude, we aren’t even in the same country right now! Count me in for next time though, we’ll all go out’ how nice is that! But what does he mean by ‘all’?
“Yeah, he’s a good egg!” you smiled, “I’m guessing he just means getting the old gang back together”
“Okay next up is… it looks like you’ve got the number of everyone who’s ever been in a Marvel film here!” the two of you laughed as he continued to look for the next reply. “I think we will go for this one next, James McAvoy.”
“Oh no!” you exclaimed as you brought your hands to your face, “This is going to be a bad one isn’t it!”  
“That depends what it means! It says ‘Are ye sure pal? You know what happened last time!’ then there’s one of those laughing and crying faces. What happened last time?” He questioned you.
You tried to contain the laughter, “nothing, nothing happened last time – at least nothing that you’re all probably thinking anyway! All that happened was a few of us had gone out and had far too much to drink, we all got a taxi and when it was my stop James helped me out of the taxi and then after insisting I was fine… I fell up the steps.” The audience and Michael laughed at your story, you chuckled, after all it had been quite funny.

“Wonderful, we have time for just a few more! Who’s next? ‘Benny C’ is that who I think it is?” you nodded in response. “We have to read this one! It says ‘Sorry not tonight, I’ve got my hands full. However you can both count me in next time!’ At least he’s up for the next time, but what does he mean by both?” he questioned you.
“Well a fair few people know I’m here tonight, he probably just knows it was you” you smiled.
“Hmm,” Michael looked as you quizzically.
“He is Sherlock Holmes after all,” you added “all that detective knowledge has to have rubbed off”
Michael agreed with you and moved on, “Okay, this is the last one now, let’s go for the man himself, your co-star Mr Tom Hiddleston ladies and gentlemen!” The audience cheered, some more excited than others as you heard several women let out high pitched screams.
Your face turned the brightest shade of red possible; you could only hope that he hadn’t said anything that would give the two of you away.
“Let’s see what he has to say shall we,” Michael cleared his throat, “’Darling, we spent six months together making a film and I’ve seen you every night since we got home. Shall I come and pick you up? x T’” Michael took a moment for everyone to process the message he had just read. “Well, well, well! It looks like you were hiding something after all. Anything you want to say?” He asked.
“No, not really” you responded, you could feel yourself getting warmer. You were debating whether or not to address it, although Tom had practically already made that decision for you and left you without a choice. In the end, you decided it was best to talk. “When you shoot a romantic film you spend a lot of time with your co-star and about sixty percent of that time you’re in quite an intimate position.” The redness was starting to disappear from your face, replaced only by a smile that suggested you were happily in love.

“Well ladies and gentlemen, it looks like the show is ending on a lovely note! Thank you to all of tonight’s guests and I’ll see you next week!”

bad influence sentence starters.

’ come on, it’s no big deal. ’
’ can you throw caution to the wind just this once. ’
’ why do you hang around people who are a bad influence? ’
’ my parents think you’re a bad influence on me. ’
’ it’s not going to kill you to do it this one time. ’
’ don’t worry, i never get caught. ’
’ it’s not like they’re going to catch us. ’
’ are you in or are you out? haven’t got all day. ’
’ you distract them and i’ll run inside real quick. ’
’ if we get caught just tell them i forced you too. ’
’ it’s not rocket science, just sneak out when they go to sleep. ’
’ come on, it’s not like it’ll be the end of the world. ’
’ it’s not sneaking out if they never find out. ’
’ i’m sorry, remind me of what a guilty conscience is again? ’
’ it’s okay to break the rules sometimes. ’
’ you can’t die from bending the rules a little. ’
’ they’ll never find out because neither of us will tell, right? ’
’ i won’t tell if you don’t tell. ’
’ are you going to snitch me out if we get caught? ’
’ are you going to come with me or not? ’
’ it’s not that hard to tell a little lie. ’
’ don’t worry, i got it covered. ’
’ stop being such a big chicken all the time. ’
’ you seriously need to do this stuff more. ’
’ this is not being a criminal, we’re just having fun. ’
’ i’m not under the influence, okay? i can drive. ’
’ it’s just a one time thing, how bad can it be? ’
’ it’s not like you have to do it every day. ’
’ they will not find out, i promise. ’
’ no one will know because we’ll do it at night. ’
’ it’s not like anyone can actually get hurt. ’
’ you’re going like that? you clearly over think too much. ’
’ it’s just some stupid party, calm down. ’
’ if you don’t come then who’s going to make i don’t do anything stupid? ’
’ you are such a party pooper sometimes. ’
’ stop being a sissy and just do it already. ’
’ stop being a crybaby, just do it. ’
’ i’ll do it with you, come on. ’
’ okay, on the count of three, you ready? ’
’ it’s not like you’re stepping out to commit murder! ’
’ stop thinking so much and just do. ’
’ why don’t ever wanna do something with me? ’
’ it’s not illegal, just come on. ’
’ you have to prove your not a chicken. ’
’ you never want to do anything, why not? ’
’ come on, we’re going to play chicken on the road. ’
’ it’s a harmless prank, can you just chill. ’
’ nothing wrong can happen with a prank. ’
’ just tell your parents you’re coming to my house for the night. ’
’ it’s not that hard to lie to your parents. i do it all the time. ’
’ one day, you’ll realize, it’s not that bad. ’
’ you cannot go and tattletale this time. ’
’ just so you know, no one likes a tattletale. ’
’ are you actually crying right now? i can’t tell. ’
’ seriously, man up already and do it! ’
’ for the record, nothing i do is actually illegal. ’
’ come on, it’s going to be so much fun. ’
More Writing Prompts.

Because, instead of working on the stuff I already have, I thought, “Why not make more prompts?!”

Angst-y Love Prompts:

  • Sometimes lying is the right thing to do, so I lied to you.
  • Pretending like nothing is wrong is only going to make things worse.
  • I loved you, once upon a time.
  • What’ll happen when I wake up, and you’re not there?
  • You say you love me, but all you’ve ever done is hurt me!
  • I thought ignoring the way I feel would make me fall out of love.
  • You can’t do this to me! Not now!
  • I wonder if I’m better off without you.
  • I’ve done bad things, but let me ask you… am I that shitty of a person…?
  • They left me for a reason, you know…

Romantic Prompts:

  • I love you more than anything…
  • I’m so lucky to have you.
  • I love you! I’ve always loved you, and to have you look at me the way I look at you… Well… That’s my dream.
  • I’m never going to let you go, not without a fight.
  • What do you want me to do? Kiss you in the rain? Buy you a dozen roses? As long as you’re happy, I’ll do anything.
  • The way you make me feel is the way I felt when I ate all of the marshmallows out of a Lucky Charms box. Pure joy.
  • I look at you, and I see all of the things I wish I was…
  • I can feel my heart beat faster when I think about you.
  • Are you going to kiss me, or are you just going to stand there?
  • Marry me.

Fluffy Prompts:

  • This is my favorite song!
  • I don’t think that’s considered dancing, it’s more of a flailing action.
  • If you keep eating french fries, you’re going to turn into one.
  • Can I borrow a pillow?
  • So, that’s a no to the roller coaster?
  • You took my jacket like a month ago, can I have it back?
  • I’d split a candy bar with you.
  • Why are you shoes on the stove?
  • What if aliens really do exist? just… Think about it!
  • You set someone’s hair on fire in Chemistry last year.

I’m in love with my Best Friend Prompts:

  • I want to find someone and I want to tell them, “You deserve to be in an art museum because of how beautiful you are.”
  • Can I sleep here with you…? The movie really scared me…
  • I don’t have a date and I don’t want to go alone…
  • H-He’s not my boyfriend(alt: S-She’s not my girlfriend).
  • I remember when we first met…
  • When are you going to tell them that you love them?
  • You look really beau… nice…
  • I keep dating all these other people in hopes that my feelings for you would go away.
  • I never loved them, I love you.
  • I fell in love with my best friend… And i’m not ashamed that I have.

Roommates Prompts:

  • Let’s play a game to get to know each other.
  • It’s cheaper than living on your own, dude.
  • Stop leaving the toilet seat up!
  • What do you mean you ate my last hot pocket?
  • It’s your turn to do dishes tonight.
  • I DIDN’T MEAN TO WALK IN ON YOU NAKED! YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO LOCK YOUR DOOR!
  • You lost the spare key to the apartment?
  • You’ve been in the bathroom for like, an hour.
  • The girl you brought over last night put a hole in our wall.
  • Give it a rest, I’m trying to sleep over here!

Totally Angst-y/Angry Prompts:

  • I can’t stop the bleeding.
  • They’re… dead…
  • I hate you!
  • I was sent here to kill you.
  • I thought there was good in you, but there’s nothing but disgust and hatred now.
  • I stopped feeling emotions a long time ago.
  • They weren’t strong enough to save you, and because of their foolishness, you’re mine now.
  • Nothing will bring them back! You can’t… turn back time!
  • You tore my heart out and crushed it with your own hands.
  • Fuck you.
Detention | Reggie Mantle

Originally posted by riverdalesource

Pairing: Reggie Mantle x Reader

Description: A bad day leads to you getting detention and getting close to the last person you’d ever thought you would.

Warnings: there’s a swear or two in there fo’sho.

Word Count: 1977

A/N: this isn’t the greatest and trying to write reggie was different but here we are. lemme know what you think. i also just added everyone from my usual tagslist bc i remembered this time. ok cool. 

Trouble wasn’t something you found yourself in often. You were the good student with the highest grades, never truant and had a reputation for being nice and polite to everyone. It was one of the reasons why everyone enjoyed your company. You were usually the nicest, friendliest and most positive person around school. There’d only been one time you’d ever gotten into trouble and that was in second grade when you’d stole Jughead’s hat off his head because you thought it was cool and put it on your own. He’d cried because you’d refused to give him it back so the teacher yelled at you, gave you a timeout and made you gave the hat back.

That was the only time in your whole sixteen years of age.

Up until today.

It had been a particularly bad morning. First the stupid alarm hadn’t gone off making you half an hour late then the moment you stepped outside mother nature decided to work against you and send a mass of rainfall. There had been no time for the bus so you’d ran all the way to school getting splashed by the passing cars on the road. By the time you got to school you were drenched, late and in the worst mood possible. Your usual happy smile was nowhere to be seen. Instead, you stormed into the classroom, threw your books down on the desk and sat yourself in your seat with a huff, arms crossed over your chest.

Keep reading