notes: 1000

3

Steven Universe, 1976.
The only thing that keeps me from making a full video of this is the need of a properly funky arrangement of the theme song.

More retro-fitted shows filed under my “title art” tag.
(Also on Ko-fi, Patreon and Instagram! Links in blog.)

6

Lost in New York? The streets are numbered! How’d you get lost in New York? I know it’s kind of stupid to complain about a movie that came out seventeen years ago, but I wasn’t a comedian back then. So I have to do it now. I wish I’d been. I wish I’d been a def jam comic when [Home Alone 2: Lost in New York] came out. I would’ve torn it to pieces! 

There’s so much speculation and debate about whether or not Nick Carraway is gay and in love with Gatsby. And it’s like the main argument against it is that it can’t be possible because it was the 1920s.

So I was wondering. What if someone went back in time to actually ask F. Scott Fitzgerald, and he just 

“i thought it was really fucking obvious.”

Stardew Valley Tips

Every time I watch a Stardew Valley video I learn something new…
…and feel like an idiot, after. And then I learned some stuff on my own, and still felt like an idiot.

Anyway, here’s a list of stuff I’ve learned.

  • replicating gold-star Fire Quartz in a crystalarium produces in 1 day what a diamond produces in 5 days
  • ignore everything in the Skull Cave until ~lvl 100; bring tons of bombs, stone stacks, and staircases - use staircases until you get low enough, but keep an eye out for already-there holes or staircases
  • there’s a ‘hidden’ area in the secret forest with two hardwood tree stumps
  • build silos asap even if you don’t have animals just build like 5-10 of them at the bottom of your farm and you’ll never have to think about hay again
  • chests ARE movable - when they’re empty!
  • juice your fruits and pickle your veggies -> profit
  • put an amethyst in a crystalarium for a DAILY gift for almost anyone
    • or stockpile coffee which pleases everyone but the kids
    • blackberries and sweetpeas make a lot of people moderately happy too
    • pretty much everyone loves pizza/spaghetti
  • fish + sap = quality fertilizer - use the “fish” from crab pots in ponds/rivers
  • separate coop animals from barn animals to easily find and “love” them
  • “C” lets you auto-swing your weapon, but chasing down baddies gives them less opportunities to hit you
  • slime hutch is kinda worthless tbh
  • In the Adventurer’s Gulid, Gus is the guy in the rocking chair, not the dude behind the counter. You have to click on him to get your rewards.
  • not all foods are used in recipes - check wiki to learn which you don’t need to put in your fridge
  • RECYCLING MACHINE…. >.<
  • also, smelt your quartz for refined quartz
  • hold down the mouse button and move around for fast planting/picking/decorating
  • mushroom trees DO grow back if chopped down to the stump, trees do not
    • tapping mushroom trees gives you…mushrooms
  • keep a chest solely for Museum Donations and Community Center Bundles, then make a run with a bag load of items instead of running there every single day
  • spouses get jealous if you give a single person a BIRTHDAY gift……..
  • accidental clicking is a plague on our existence, so don’t wield an axe or pickaxe while standing near your crops…
  • wait 2(?) days after cauliflower/melon/pumpkin have finished growing to see if the 3x3 grid turns into a giant crop
  • you can go inside Linus’s tent
  • those lil bear/bunny/whatever statues with gems aren’t usable, they’re simply anchors for warp totem locations
  • if you have a full inventory in the field, walk away from an available item before sorting your current inventory so nothing is accidentally picked up, just in case you needed an extra space for something like making bait from bug brains and putting them in your fishing rod
  • speed-grow soil is only worth it on crops that keep delivering throughout the season
    • that said, crops that keep delivering after growing are really only worth it after the greenhouse is available
  • “Always Show Tool Hit Location”
  • DO NOT attack white grubs in the mines, just avoid them, that way they’ll never turn into flying death bugs
  • when you see a blessed bubble in a body of water, fish there
  • You can rename your livestock
  • Leave your coop byproducts there for a day, saving that time for other chores
  • plant fruit trees anywhere on the map, and tap trees anywhere on the map
  • you can change your appearance if you’re friends with the wizard
  • line kegs/preserve jars horizontally somewhere in the center of the farm, hold down the mouse button while running, and you’ll harvest/place items in lightning speed
    • alternatively, place these machines in an unpopulated barn to conserve farm space
  • shift-click buys x5
  • everyone loves (most) baked goods
  • put flooring down below a sprinkler so it won’t be dug up when you hoe
  • put mayonnaise machines in your poultry coup, looms in your rabbit coop, and cheese makers, looms, and oil presses in your barns
  • those worms sticking out of the ground have things to dig up (which took me 1 year of game time to learn…)
  • in the beginning of the game, loot the hell out of trash to find food
  • you can give every single person a bouquet before marriage
  • sunflower seeds will literally spew out at you when you run into/stand on a sunflower, like dozens upon dozens upon dozens
  • running to the train is hardly worth it unless you’re already near it
  • bring a battery pack to the tunnel
  • a cherry bomb will allow you to access the dwarf

and the big one, which made me feel super stupid,

  • holding down upgraded hoe/watering can gives it special powers in the form of multiple squares effected per move