honestly like. i think once u reach ur early-mid twenties u really have to take a step back and evaluate your position in fandom, given that so much of it is full of kids, be a lot more critical of the content you produce and who you interact with and the effect your actions are going to have on those around you. like dont get me wrong i could never claim to be #unproblematic but damn if you want to stand out in the open and say that your right to produce porn of minors is more important than the real minors coming to you and saying adults making porn of people their age is gross and you cant even own up and apologize then. maybe u need to log off and re-evaluate ur perspective. go schedule a bridge game or a pottery class or whatever, get off the internet and be around real people your own age for a while. give it a few months and then ask yourself if stacey and jo from the book club would have your back while you argue with actual children on the internet over your right to produce porn of their fictional peers. the results may surprise you
it’s also okay to be totally terrified at the thought of having sex with a girl- internalized homophobia affects all of us to a certain extent
it’s okay to want to make out with a girl for hours on end (seriously, it’s totally an okay thing to think about)
it’s okay to fantasize about girls, even in a sexual way. you are not dirty for doing this.
you can absolutely wear clothes that are stereotypically lesbian, such as flannels. in the same note, you can totally cut your hair short if you want. you aren’t perpetuating a stereotype, you’re embracing who you are
you can also completely stay away from any clothing that would signify you might be a wlw (especially if you’re in a situation where the suspicion that you’re a wlw could cause you harm)- it’s completely your choice, just don’t shame anybody that does decide to take on that style.
it’s okay to not immediately date a girl once you come out. take some time to figure out your feelings, it’s okay. you’ll find somebody that you want to date in your own time, or you can just decide you don’t want to ever date anybody. that’s also perfectly okay.
it’s okay to dream about a future with a wife
it’s okay to hold your girlfriend’s hand in public and be affectionate in public. it’s not gross or icky, it’s good and cute, i promise.
it’s okay to come out to everybody you speak to (there’s nothing wrong with you, and if people judge you, they’re the ones who are wrong), but it’s also valid to only come out to a small select group of people. both approaches are fine.
it’s okay to masturbate while thinking about girls. it’s okay, you’re not weird for doing this. it’s a common thing.
it’s okay to watch movies or tv shows with wlw, even the ones that are cliche and really cheesy. if they make you feel validated and happy, continue doing so.