not-the-bees!!!!!!!

Observation notes by Millard Nullings (2/9)

Hugh-oh Hugh, something’s are better kept unwritten but well I mean how could I not. One afternoon Hugh was fast asleep in the garden when a couple of those busy bees flew by Hugh’s face and geez I swear this kid has a built-in radar for them because as soon as they did he woke up immediately and frantically ran after them screaming, “HEY, WAIT UP! LET ME LOVE YOU, MUMMY IS HERE!!” Then he tripped on a twig, yes a TWIG and fell on his face and I swear I saw Henry fly out and pat him on the back but I was probably just seeing things.

-One long night, Hugh was quite ill and coughing a lot throughout the night. So I went to check on him only to see that he was just coughing up an old hive and I’ve never been so disturbed in my life. Like A WHOLE ENTIRE HIVE. How could an entire hive fit out of that boys body, the sight was just something out of a horror film like a snake shedding its skin or something. All his little bees were just resting on his bedding waiting for Hugh to clear out the space for a new one. The concept was all to weird to me.. //reminder: never walk in on Hugh coughing ever again//

-one time I witnessed Hugh eat the honey he sneezed up one time…I really do hope it was honey..

-Hugh and Fiona thought it’d be cute to swap clothes for the day, Hugh put on one her dresses and I have to admit he did look very dapper. He surprised her and did a big twirl for her while doing so he slipped on the long fabric of the dress and tried to mask the fall with a goofy pose and she was in hysterics that tears were coming out her eyes. Though, I had to run out of there like a bat out of hell because I was the only one that noticed that Hugh managed to rip a huge hole in the back and his underwear was in plain view and I almost died.

-Hugh also kisses and says goodnight to every. single. bee. he. owns. He does it EVERY night and he has about 500. YES 500 bloody bees. And every night I hear, “Goodnight Charlie, night Harold, hey, wait your turn Ollie.” Seriously Hugh give it a rest.

-One of his bees passed away the other day and I’ve never seen Hugh so upset. I mean it was a bee, so really, I’ve never seen anyone get that upset over a bee. But he got all dressed up in a tux and he and Fiona held a funeral procession and invited everyone one to come. Hugh made a speech but was just so incomprehensible, Enoch tried to quietly escape but Henry caught him. Olive and Claire were crying too, that’s only because they are so little and had no clue what was happening. Jacob and I were trying really hard not to laugh. Emma looked like she was going to kill us right there. I mean, I love Hugh but he’s so dramatic it’s unBEElievable (Sorry Hugh).

-Before Hugh and Fiona were a thing, they would hang out together alone. Fiona liked Hugh and Hugh liked Fiona. By the end of the night of long talks and other boring stuff. Fiona leaned in and kissed Hugh (it was quite a cute sight). Hugh was so flustered he quickly turned around and walked right into the side of the house, broke his goggles in two and gave himself a nose bleed. I swear he is the clumsiest peculiar I know.

-Hugh also makes sure to wear one article of yellow each day, he has like 20 pairs of yellow knickers and some even have bees on it, the kid is obsessed.

-I looked at Hugh’s tv history and he has watched the Bee Movie a total of 486 times, we have only been in present day for a couple months…

I dealt with a fear of mine a few days ago, thanks to Elementary.

I heard a loud buzzing and found a bee in the house. I am terrified of bees, thanks to getting stung by one as a child and not knowing if I’m now deathly allergic to them. I’m probably not. But still. I was alone, so I ignored her for a few minutes. I couldn’t bring myself to kill her because bees provide a valuable service to our earth, and delicious honey, and also she might take me with her. But instead of flying around to the door, she stayed in the same spot on the window, buzzing around, completely unignorable.

I recalled a scene in Elementary where Sherlock Holmes catches a rare bee with a jar, and grabbed one of my numerous spares. Getting the jar around the bee was fine. Trying to slide the lid up? NO BUENO. The bee kept buzzing around by the opening of the jar. I stayed frozen there for a while until she retreated to the back, and I had no excuse. Then I took a deep breath and shouted “SHERLOCK CAN DO IT!” and got the lid over.

I was still terrified seeing as I hadn’t screwed the lid shut. So all the way to the driveway, in-between pretending not to be terrified while answering my neighbors’ curious children (“What are you gonna do with that bug?” “I’m going to release it peacefully back into the wild, for I am a responsible adult”), I kept muttering my new chant for courage, “Sherlock can do it, Sherlock can do it, sherlockcandoit—” until I yanked the lid off. Abandoning the jar, I ran screaming back into the house, where I slammed the door and closed all the windows.

Still haven’t gotten the jar back.

Cartoon Naughty or Nice

Nice List:

1. Wander Over Yonder

2. My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic

3. Gravity Falls

4. Harvey Beak

5. Steven Universe

6. Regular Show

7. Bee & Puppycat

8. Adventure Time

9. Star Butterfly vs. The Force of Evil

10. Chaotic (TV series)

Naughty List:

1. Teen Titan Go

2. Pickle & Peanut

3. The Nuctshack

4. The Powerpuff Girls Reboot

5. Sanjay & Craig