Talos hates his clerics
So little bit of context: 5e campaign where we were playing the tryanny of dragons published campaign. Our group had a urchin tiefling rogue, a human lord who was a wizard, and a blue dragonborn cleric with three little priest girls who worshipped her as a child of Talos, god of storms (me). We just started and discovered the burning town under attack by kobolds and decided to help. As a tempest cleric, i was doing my lightning retribution thing, smacking kobolds that attacked me, breathing lightning, all that. Two moments where I prayed to Talos where we lost our shit.
DM: Alright, the kobold falls dead on the street, having been blasted by lightning.
Me: Sweet, I want to sacrifice it to Talos.
Everyone else: What?
Me: You heard me, Talos is getting a Kobold as a sacrifice, I’m sure he will love torturing it!
DM: *Rolls dice behind screen, then pause.* Umm…
Me: What happens?
DM: So you pray to Talos to accept your offering… and a blast of lightning shocks you both. The corpse is gone and you feel like you’ve been smack across the face.
Teifling: Looks like daddy had to smack a bitch.
Other moment, where the human died after a fight with a dragon,
Me: CRAP! I Forgot to pick spare the dying as my cantrip!
DM: Wait, what? How did you forget about that!?
Human: Well, I guess I’m dead right?
Me: Well… I got a idea?
Tiefling: If you say pray to Talos-
Me: I PRAY TO TALOS!
DM: So you want to pray to him to see if he will revive (human) for you?
Me: Pretty much, yea.
DM: … Roll Religion.
*Nat 1, then pause.*
DM: What the hell, I’m feeling nice. A bolt of lightning strikes down and strikes the two of you and while (Me) takes 2d6 divine damage, (Human) is brought back to life. You also get the a mental message telling you to stop asking him for shit… he is upset about the kobold.
Teifling and Human: PRAISE TALOS!
Me: Ouch… Praise Talos…