not-sure-how-i-feel-about-the-hands

mllebunny  asked:

AFTER HAVING THE ANGST STORY DRILLED IN MY BRAIN IM NOT SURE HOW I FEEL ABOUT THE FLIRTING? ON ONE HAND IM JUST FANGIRLING AND HAPPY BUT ALSO LOUIS AND LUNA??? ONE ARGUEMENT AND HE GOES AND FLIRTS WITH PIPER???? WHAT ABOUT HOW SHE FEELS AFTER THIS BECAUSE IF HE GOES BACK TO LUNA AFTER THIS FLIRTY THING HOW WILL SHE FEEL??? BOI WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?

my exact feelings^^^

oh-snizzity-snap  asked:

So you're like freakishly talented at writing Darkiplier's attitude and personality and I was wondering if you could give some tips/guidelines you usually use to keep him in character? I seem to be having an extremely hard time not watering him down.

‘Freakishly talented’. I take that as the highest compliment. I might even print it and put it on my wall. 

Writing Darkiplier is complicated but the simplest way I can explain how I write him without giving too much away in the future is: He’s the devil I know. 

What I mean by that is that I write Darkiplier as a combination of:

  • A specific social manipulator that I used to work for who nearly destroyed me as a person
  • A manifestation of depression made flesh
  • The worst parts of myself

The Social Manipulator is unfortunately a result of learning from my mistakes, and I certainly made lots of mistakes. Even years down the track I still can’t figure out whether everything he did was deliberate, or whether he did it all on accident and genuinely believes he’s a nice guy who’s hard done by. 

The thing is, he was brilliant at manipulating people, whether he was intending to do it or not. I hate him with a passion but I’m still fascinated that he managed to do this to so many people. He had some twenty people cowed under his thumb at the same time all trapped in that workplace and not even thinking of leaving. Some he’d kept trapped for five years. These were not stupid people either, we were (and are) highly trained, intelligent, compassionate people dedicated to our profession, and yet he still managed to break down each and every one of us until we felt both unable to leave and grateful to even have our jobs.

I don’t recall him outright lying either, but he could certainly bend a half-truth. This is a characteristic I try to use in Darkiplier. Anyone can manipulate you with lies, but it takes style to manipulate you with truths. You can call a lie out for what it is, but you can’t deny a truth. 

Part of how this social manipulator from my past managed to get his hooks into so many people is that he targeted our strengths. And humans naturally play to their own strengths, so doing so kept us putting up with his behaviour far longer than any of us should have. And he continued to wear down our strengths until they failed us.

This is something I try to have Darkiplier do frequently, in small ways. You think you’re smart? No, stop being stupid. You think you’re tough? Aw, how adorable that you think that. It’s undermining with frequent, small jabs and it works when the other person is supremely confident about putting you down.

Now, he would of course take advantage of any weakness that presented itself, but he didn’t go seeking them. He just waited for them to appear. 

I don’t want to rant too much about this particular individual, and I know I have the potential to do so because I often catch up with other people he’d manipulated and that it what we inevitably do, but notable feats he managed to accomplish with his manipulation of us included convincing one woman to disobey her doctor’s orders and risk a second stroke for his benefit, and convinced another woman to sell her home, move back interstate, relocate he entire family including her 3 month old baby to come back to work for him, even after she already knew what he was like. 

Markiplier is absolutely correct when he says social manipulators are the worst kind of people. 

The manifestation of depression aspect is something I consider in regards to methods. Depression is often subtle, creeping in slowly, and as an illness seems to actively try to convince you that nothing is actually wrong, that everything is fine, so you shouldn’t fight. It also carries an inevidable sense of doom. 

With Darkiplier, I write him not so much as trying to avoid a fight, but as trying to convince you that you don’t want to fight. You want to do nothing, you want to give in. It’s your own fault, not his. And other sneaky depressive ways of thinking. 

(Compare this to Anti, who I partly think of as a manifestation of Anxiety, but that’ another topic)

Depression is often romanticised in media too, and that’s also something that’s happened with Darkiplier, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. On the one hand it is nice to think maybe you can learn to live with and get along with depression, but on the other hand it still is what it is. 

The worst parts of myself are to do with Darkiplier being a dark reflection of a person. Quick to anger, insincere, vengeful. You can take any good part or positive quality of a person and twist them into something bad. Turn ‘this person is smart’ into ‘this person makes others feel stupid’. Turn ‘this person is helpful’ to ‘this person could help you, and you’re pathetic enough to need it’. 

To make Darkiplier a suitable villain there are a few more tricks I use:

  • He knows more than he reveals
  • He never explains his motive
  • He doesn’t concede defeat, but will allow you ‘breathing space’
  • Some things are just about style
  • He has to control himself before he can control anything else
  • Preference towards longer and more ‘sophisticated’ words without becoming verbose
  • Never rewards you, but will remove a punishment/negative thing for obedience. 
  • Promises are never specific
  • Is right in his observations at least 80% of the time

I don’t know if that helps, because a lot of my Darkiplier characterisation is based on personal experience. 

I’m not sure how I feel about magi ending…

On one hand, lately I was feeling that the story was dragging so in a way it’s a good thing that it will finally end. However, with only four chapters left there isn’t enough time for Ohtaka to give spotlight to the characters that were neglected on this last arc. So, I have no expectations when it comes to various characters’ development. Also, I expect the finale to be mediocre at best.

I guess I’ll really miss the magi fandom?? It was nice interacting and exchanging opinions with all of you all these years.  And while no community is flawless, magi’s was a nice one. I’ll miss that.

anonymous asked:

Did Misty Copeland really play the "victim card" with her skin color of not being promoted to principle before she is where she is now?

“Victim Card” is a rather abrasive way of putting it. As Misty’s story started to get traction in the media, a lot of emphasis was (obviously) placed on the fact that she was the only African-American soloist at ABT. The public support for her grew exponentially, and people (who by and large had little knowledge or understanding of ballet) wanted to see her given more roles and recognition. Misty herself said in her book “Life in Motion” that she felt that she should be promoted to principal for “political” reasons. I don’t remember the exact quote, but you can always look it up.

I remember Misty’s rise to fame pretty well, and it had much more to do with her skin colour than her abilities. I’m still not sure how I feel about it. On the one hand, it signals to the world that artistry and skill aren’t too important, but on the other… If Misty has opened the door for more dancers of colour, does it really matter how she did it? Maybe, in this case, the end justifies the means.

d i s c l a i m e r

eternalchocolatlobsterp  asked:

So like I'm in this weird middle ground grey zone where I'm not sure how I feel about terfs. On one hand I have trans friends whomst I adore and would die for, and I don't see why a woman would be excluded from feminism because she's not the right kind of woman. On the other hand you're a person with your own goals and experiences and aspirations. You have reasons for being a terf and you aren't evil. I'm not sure. How to feel. And it's difficult to express.

I don’t post now, just don’t want to - and just posting an answer to a question would be kinda off. but i really wanted to answer you.
basically no, we’re not evil. also no, we don’t wish death upon people - usually it’s us who get attacked. like, for real. and for what? - for “violent misgendering”, which is apparently the same thing as LITERALLY MURDERING TRANS FOLKS TERFS ARE KILLING MY FRIENDS - we don’t. even redkatherinee doesn’t. that was satire and people didn’t get it. and to be exact - she herself never threatened anyone or wished someone death, those are things that are told TO HER. won’t go in details, though, but if you’d want them - just ask.
we get compared to nazis - which is in its core incorrect. we don’t hate people for what they don’t choose - we don’t hate them for dysphoria, a lot of radfems suffer from it - but we believe transitioning just isn’t the way to fix it, moreover, it’s harmful to health, especially of children. what we say is - if you like like girls, if you like cars instead of dolls and pants instead of skirts - that doesn’t make you a boy. it literally means nothing at all, because gender roles are forced upon us like it is something necessary. the same goes for boys, who like dresses and dolls - they are not less of boys for that. we believe that the only difference is basically sex. nothing more. you can behave however you want - that doesn’t change your identity.
this means that transitioning is, in fact, a choice. quite harmful one (if you want facts, search for blogs of detransitioned people).
then again - if you don’t agree with that, we won’t go punch you or wish you to die. because this is violence and violence is not okay. but apparently it’s okay for trans people to go hunt us down. without any research on what we’re actually saying. and hey, this pattern is male. because we don’t see a lot of trans-men going full-on creepy and threatening on us.
so yeah, this is kinda why we don’t like interacting with them on practice.
the analogy i can give you is furries andtherkins. i don’t deny the feelings those people have, but they come to the wrong conclusions. being brave and liking doesn’t mean you’re a lion. being big, hairy and strong doesn’t make you a bear. the same with transgenderism - being “feminine” doesn’t make you a woman, if you’re a man.

the reason why we talk about it a lot nowadays is that apparently now you can’t reject someone post-op just because they’re trans and you’re not attracted to them sexually. which is homophobic. (this is just a quick review of the points, not to take a lot of time)
but they just go full insane with that whole “go choke on my girl dick” and “i’d rape a terf and murder her” (and this is LEGIT, just look it up). still, we’re the threatening ones for some reason. the reason is, i believe - they just want women to shut the fuck up with their protests and opinion. nothing new, though.

also censoring female anatomy is a thing again - last time i checked it was considered misogynistic. but somehow it’s okay if you’re a man who just wants to be oppressed real bad.

kinda like that. already forgetting where i was going with this whole thing. so yeah, not evil, a human being, just like everyone else. we see trans people as equal, especially in the field of human rights and all that. but the whole gender thing is oppressive. you can read more on that yourself, if you want to, sure. i’m really happy if this clears things up a bit for you. feel free to ask anything, i’m pretty sure my explanations may be very messy.


PS. I won’t start a conversation with anyone but the author of the question.
PPS. English isn’t my first language, so forgive me if there are any mistakes.

updates after 2 weeks of being a 2nd year humanities student:

  • still not sure what to make of this new year; i’ve been so busy and so many things happened in a short span of time that i’ve just been swept to act without actually knowing for sure how i feel about everything
  • my hand is already failing me because of all the writing i’ve done ugh;;
  • i miraculously still remember a bit of japanese?? wow??
  • i’m taking part in a weekly film club!! which focuses on documentaries this semester
  • i had my first swedish class today!! and i love it so much!! it’s insane!!
  • i have already read 2 books for just one of my courses and the library became my best friend
  • found a japanese restaurant with good food
  • i want!!! cold weather!!!
  • will soon start posting some more original content, while life settles down! thanks for being patient!

Every time Star Wars comes up— I mean every time it EVER comes up (but especially when it’s a post about Hayden Christensen)— all I can think about is how the dude who was my step brother for eight years was nearly cast in Attack of the Clones as Anakin. Like, it came down to Hayden Christensen and my brother, and George Lucas himself was in discussions with him, and then at the last minute, they went with Hayden Christensen.
And after all these years, I’m still not sure how I feel about it? ‘Cause on one hand, Blake was a damn good actor and could have done the role justice. But on the other hand, I don’t know him anymore, and it would be so fuckin WEIRD to see his face on everything.

So


Yesterday I was outed by my family.


I’m not really sure how I feel about it. On the one hand it’s really relieving because, well, now they know and that’s out of the way. On the other hand I’m basically disowned and I’m not sure yet if I’m basically not gonna be allowed at family gatherings anymore. My phone was on their plan and they’re going to be shutting that off (I have a new one now and a new number so that’s ok) and my car was still technically under their name so now I have no means of transport….. so that’s fun.


What gets to me most is the fucked up way it was handled. They took my keys under false pretense, they cornered me with no intention other than to get me to fess up or turn back to god. My dad talked about how he didn’t feel like they were getting out of my life what they had invested in it, like I was a piece of stock in a company he bought. He thwn proceded to tell me he didnt think i was gay, just that i thought i was gay. My mother, however, went for the emotional low blow, saying that after everything my brother has been through, it hurt less than me telling her that I was gay.


My brother being tormented by and suffering from cancer, being put in the icu, having regular lumbar punctures and having a year of his life ripped away from him - seeing that was less painful to her. He could have died and it would have hurt less to her than me being gay because , in her words, “at least he would be with god”.


Anyway, they wouldn’t let me back in my car except to get a few things, I grabbed what I could carry, said I’d have someone bring me down to box up and take the rest, shut the car door and walked a block in the pouring rain to a restaurant with an awning, where my girlfriend picked me up.


So this is what I’m dealing with.


My plan is to try to get the title on the car in my name, but I’m in the process of trying to find a new/second job, and that takes money that, in the meantime, I don’t have. I didn’t mean for this to turn into a plug for my commissions but hey, if you guys are looking for some art, maybe hit me up. I’m gonna be revising and passing that around again so there’s that. And hey if you stuck around long enough to read this sob story then well, thanks for at the very least listening. Everything really sucks rn.

10

I AM REALLY NOT SURE HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS CHANGE.

On the one hand, it puts more agency on Usagi’s character, that she’s come to understand things and shows a lot of insight and the process of maturing, that she’s clearly given this a lot of thought and is looking outside herself more and more!  But on the other hand, in the manga, the Soldiers are the ones who support her in this moment, who show a lot of sympathy for Mamoru and I get the sense that fandom often puts Mamoru and the Soldiers at odds with each other, when the manga tends to lean towards that they all like each other.

How it went in the manga:

MINAKO:  Then I’m sure Tuxedo Mask followed her into that same place! (with a very supportive smile)

USAGI:  ….There’s no guarantee that they’re together.

REI:  No.  His sense of responsibility is strong.  He’s the type to keep his promises.  I am sure he and Chibi-Usa are together.

MAKOTO:  Usagi?  Do you know why he treasures Chibi-Usa so much?  It’s because Chibi-Usa is your child with him!  He’s thought through what his role and responsibility is.  He wanted to help in a way that leaves you with the freedom to move.  Usagi, it’s because we’re with you and he trusts us implicitly…  He’s decided to devote all of his energy to protecting Chibi-Usa– the child he had with you, the most precious thing in the world to him.

USAGI:  ….I know…  Even I can figure that out… Even I can understand how Mamo-chan thinks… I know… because he is the man I love.

Which is pretty significantly different!  I like that, in SMC, Usagi shows more maturity and comes up with this on her own, because that’s a huge point of this entire arc, the narrative (and Doylist) reason that Chibi-Usa was sent back (in terms of Usagi’s character)–because she needed someone to prioritize over her own feelings, that helped Usagi grow and mature and become so much more ready to be a mother when the time came.

And I like that it strengthens the Mamoru/Usagi relationship, I like that it shows her understanding of him and belief in how strong they are together.  That’s a very good thing!

But I dislike that it takes away from the support the other Soldiers offer Usagi in this moment (which, let’s be clear, SMC balanced out with their support for her earlier, when they added in their loyalty to her and willingness to follow her wherever she went, which was SUPER TOUCHING because they’re literally following her BEYOND THE ENDS OF THE EARTH, that’s how much they love her and TRUST HER and want to help her) and I find myself kind of sad that Makoto’s lines especially were taken out.

Because it shows that Makoto really understands the family thing, that she gets it because she’s been there.  When you look at how Makoto is the one saying all these parent-like things, that she understands that point of view, you get how much she really wants her own family, how much she misses being part of one, of course she automatically understands what Mamoru’s doing, as a very parent-like figure to Usagi.  Of course she understands that desire to cherish and love the child you have with your most precious person.  That’s Makoto’s dream.

And I miss that this is a great moment to show that the Soldiers are supportive of Mamoru, they like him and they trust him and they understand him.  I’m not sure how I feel about losing that, even as much as I love how much it gains for Usagi’s character, whom I love so very intensely.

“This guy I met on Tinder left this shirt in my room and I’m not sure how I feel about it. On one hand, I think it’s bad ass, on the other hand I think it might be to nippily. What do you think?”

2

03.05|| more of my notes from today. I’m not quite sure how I feel about the colors, but my hand hurts from the amount of notes I took. APUSH is killing me!

So after watching the episode, I’m not sure how I feel about this.

I mean, on one hand, I didn’t want Aoi to die since I liked her character and it’d kind of suck if she died when Sakura tried to inspire her. One of the things that always bothered me about DR1 was that Ishimaru never got to live after being inspired by Alter-Ego, or even Chihiro after being inspired to change himself.

But on the other hand, why the bait? I don’t really understand why they’d do it both in and out of universe. In-universe, I’m not sure what the killer benefits from by pouring tomato sauce all over Aoi and Naegi’s hand to emulate a murder scene. Is it just an intimidation tactic?

Out of universe, it seems like it could be really polarizing, since you’re basically saying “SURPRISE, THE DR1 CHARACTERS DON’T HAVE PLOT ARMOR, but no, yeah, they do.” Not helped by Hagakure being outside and seemingly guaranteed to survive.

I mean, I still more or less expect Makoto or Kyouko to die later, but I think a fake-out death was still wholly unnecessary.