You are a pressure cooker. As soon as you start to feel a sliver of emotion, you put the lid on it and you don’t deal with anything. I understand that’s your coping mechanism, and it’s working for you, but you need to understand that in the long run it isn’t going to be beneficial to you. One day someone is going to come along that you can feel comfortable enough with to tear down your walls. I know things are bad now— you’ve been in crisis mode since I’ve met you— but every time you start to think those bad thoughts like ‘I am so overwhelmed that I can’t function’ or ‘this is all hopeless’ just remember to add a 'for now’ at the end. You say that everyone seems to think you’re emotionless— I think that’s a lie. I also think you feel everything as deeply, if not more, than everyone else— you just keep it all bottled up because no one has ever given you the chance to be vulnerable. You spend your time taking care of everyone else, and you don’t give up on people— I don’t think you’d be able to live with yourself knowing you left someone alone. When are you going to start taking that unconditional love you have towards others and start to reciprocate that towards yourself? You hold yourself to an unrealistically high standard, way more than you do any other being on this planet. Just know that it’s okay to say 'today I am human— and I am going to be angry or sad or annoyingly giddy for no reason’

always remember that it’s okay to be human

—  Alexis H., things my therapist told me that are just now starting to make sense

Hey ya’ll.Myself and a few of my friends created a literary journal called Fifteen13 Press.We release a monthly online journal and a quarterly physical journal.

We accept poetry,prose,photography,art of any kind,and short film.Basically,if you make it,we want to see it.Please feel free to submit to us at

You can find more info at

For everyone whose abuse isn’t physical, whose scars can’t be seen so clearly, I am so proud of you.
Its incredibly hard to see abuse when it’s emotional and not physical. Because the only way to see how the abuse happens is how it makes you act. How you respond to other peoples actions.
Know you are so much stronger and braver than anyone will ever know. Mental and emotional abuse is so hard because the abusers love to make you think that you’re the abuser, and you’re not.
You’re so much better than all this. You’ll get through this.

it’s wednesday and wednesday is relative
to the system by which red is
the [un]eaten apple sinking
into rot
by virtue [left] alone —with sin

i am [not]
i am [not]

for dead slipping
past the Sun on
some day in september when september is relative
to the system by which red is
the wounded mouth
i speak with—

out from with—
in form and form is not relative
to the system by which red is
the irremovable stain
of his hands
as his hands
tore the red from my flesh

bardo. tibetan. a state of existence between death and rebirth.
toska. russian. a sensation of great spiritual anguish. dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning.
litost. czech. a state of agony and torment created by the sudden sight of one’s own misery.
dépaysement. french. feeling that comes from not being in one’s home country.
ya’aburnee. arabic. “you bury me,” a declaration of one’s hope that they’ll die before another person because of how difficult it would be to live without them.
saudade. portugese. feeling of longing for something or someone that you love and which is lost.
hiraeth. welsh. longing for the homeland or the romanticized past.
shlimazl. yiddish. chronically unlucky person.
friolero. spanish. a person who is especially sensitive to cold weather and temperatures.
desenrascanço. portugese. the ability to improvise a quick solution.
—  untranslatable words: bucky barnes edition