He also knows that the boys he plays and lives with are likely learning domestic skills for the very first time, and sometimes it’s a even just a big new thing for them to think, “People will want to eat at this study break–I’ll bring chips and soda.” On the other hand, the more domestic and emotional labour the straight boys he knows learn, the better for their future female partners. So he’s never going to discourage someone taking baby steps into the domestic realm. He’ll do what he can to help them move further, but hey, if Dex brought Twinkies from Murder Stop-n-Shop, then thank you, sugar! He sure appreciates how thoughtful that was!
Shitty’s first name is something unexceptionable though perhaps douchey, like Brad. He hates it because it’s his father’s name–he’s a Jr, if not a III or IV. His mother’s maiden name was Shitowitz, and although she was glad to get rid of it at the time now that she’s divorced she sometimes dithers about going back to it. So Shitty’s “Shitty” grandparents officially look Very Scandalized when his friends mess up and call him “Shitty” instead of “Knight” when they’re around, but they’re secretly kind of pleased.
Review - Not My Father's Son: A Memoir by Alan Cumming
I’ve read my share of celebrity memoirs in the past (maybe, embarrassingly, more than I’d like to admit), so when I was given the opportunity to score an advanced reader copy of Alan Cumming’s memoir I jumped on it. Past experiences had left me with the expectation of a read that would be either a string of personal vignettes that aren’t very connected or emotionally engaging to funny but impersonal and on to the extremely narcissistic. Asking for this book, I hoped for something closer to the first variety, maybe examining the journey of a man coming in to his bisexuality and fame. What I never expected at all was the almost immediate punch in the emotional gut that was this memoir.
Cumming really dashed my expectations (and I’m glad for it). While his sexuality was present (bisexuality is named once and his former marriage to Hilary Lyon and his husband Grant Shaffer are both important components of the story he shares), this wasn’t a memoir that lingered with any real focus on that, or on the vagaries of his fame. Instead we have a deeply personal, and deeply engaging, exploration of Cumming’s relationship with and understanding of his deeply abusive father set amongst his personal journey to better understand a familial mystery set around his maternal grandfather and his mysterious death in post WWII Malaysia.
As a man who has also spent his entire life in a complicated non-relationship with an abusive father, this book drew me in like no other. The absolutely frank discussions of his father’s abuse, of the inner mind of an abused child, of his depression, his struggles with an eating disorder, his break downs, his triumphs and his tears are all so honest and engaging I think it would tug at the empathy of any who would read it. This is by far the most non-celebrity celebrity memoir I’ve ever picked up, and I’m so very thankful for it.
In the bisexual community (as in many others), representation is so vital to us, so sought after. I think it’s truly important to have also found non-sensationalized representation for victims of abuse, particular parental abuse. So many of our numbers have struggled with abuse. I for one am thankful for this memoir, for this representation. But for the fame, this could be my story. It could be any of ours.
For yes, being a woman, even one with a penis and for the purposes of drama, really made me feel that women have been coerced into a way of presenting themselves that is basically a form of bondage. Their shoes, their skirts, even their nails seem designed to stop them from being able to escape whilst at the same time drawing attention to their sexual and secondary sexual characteristics. And I think that has happened so that men feel they can ogle them and protect them in equal measure.
“Equal parts memoir, whodunnit, and manual for living, Not My Father’s Son is a beautifully written, honest look at the forces of blood and bone that make us what we are, and how we make ourselves. I was completely sucked in.”—Neil Gaiman
Watch the book trailer for Alan Cumming’s evocative memoir, Not My Father’s Son (on sale 10/7).
Yes, wearing high heels makes your legs look better and your ass look amazing, but I still couldn’t help but worry that they were making me more vulnerable at the same time. My ass and my boobs were not just more prominently displayed; it was almost as though the only way I could balance at all was to thrust them out to the world. And what if I wanted to run? Forget about it. If I could have maneuvered even a light trot in my heels before plunging to the deck , the pain of trying to run in such unnatural and uncomfortable footwear would have laid me up for weeks. For yes, [dressing as a woman] really made me feel that women have been coerced into a way of presenting themselves that is basically a form of bondage. Their shoes, their skirts, even their nails seem designed to stop them from being able to escape whilst at the same time drawing attention to their sexual and secondary sexual characteristics. And I think that has happened so that men feel they can ogle them and protect them in equal measure.
Alan Cumming, Not My Father’s Son: A Memoir, aka proof of why all men need to cross dress for humanity to succeed
JESUS TAKE THE WHOLE GODDAMN CAR-EY THIS BIH IS coming in here looking like a cot DAMN COTTON CANDY PINK FAIRY PRINCESS WITH THAT BEAUTIFULLY LONG FULL PASTEL PINK SKIRT. THIS BIH IS ASSAULTING ME ON ALL FRONTS I SENSE-H8 HER. LIKE GODDESS BLESS LOOK AT HER NOODLE ARMS AND THAT TINY TINY MIDRIFF. SO MODEST. SO RISQUE. SO FASHION FORWARD.
OH MY GOD FUCKING LOOK AT HER, SHES BLESSING ALL THESE BIHS IN THIS PHOTO LIKE FUCJING MOTHER THERESA SURROUNDED IN AN ETHEREAL HALO OF LIGHT. THAT PURE WHITE BABY CROP TOP IS A PERFECT FIT FOR THE PERFECT FIT AND I AM ALIVE. MY CROPS ARE THRIVING, MY ANIMALS ARE SATIATED, MY CHILDREN HAVE BEEN BAPTIZED IN THE HOUSE OF THE FATHER, THE SON, AND ADC WITH HER HEAVENLY GLOW.
??????????????? ARE U FUKN RIGHT NOW? BITCH NO THIS IS A SCENE AND ITS A COTDAMN RED CARPET EVENT AND THIS BIH SHOWS UP IN SMOKING CHERRY RED HEELS CAUSE SHE IS ~ELEVATED~ AND DONT YOU FORGET THAT MUSTARD GOLD BAG WITH THE GOLD ACCENTS AKA ADC ROCKIN HER FAVE FALL COLOR EVERY HOUR EVERY DAY EVERY WEEK OF THE YEAR. FUCK PANTONE, ITS ALL ABOUT THAT MUSTARD GOLD AND SHE IS ON TOP OF THAT SHIT LIKE KING KONG. BLESS TF UP AND HALLE-ALYCIA.