not-mine-at-all

“I just… I miss him.”

“I know.”

“I miss him so much.”

“… Me too.”

What if Andrew died? Nora said that Neil would be devastated for sure, but what about Renee? I feel like Neil and Renee would grow a lot closer and become better friends if something like that were to happen. Bittersweet thought.

I did this for @meabhd‘s Coloring Contest! I didn’t know who the original characters were, but I wanted to participate anyway so I made them into little foxes instead :3 Regardless, this was super duper fun! Thank you Méabh!!

thefangirldaylighter  asked:

How about Matt/Dan or trans Andriel and 27 for that writing prompt thingy?

27: “When were you going to tell me that you’re pregnant?” (on ao3)

Neil almost drops the stick when he sees the two lines. “Holy shit.” It was five in the morning and the city was reasonably quiet, making his realization that much louder in the acoustics of his bathroom. He couldn’t focus on any one of his thoughts, all of them flying away from him. His hand comes up to cover his mouth. “Holy shit.”

The last time Andrew had visited was maybe three weeks ago. Since then, Neil had started getting sick in the mornings and wanting more sugar in his coffee. He thought he might be sick and had voiced these concerns during one of his lunchtime excursions with Allison. She’d taken all of his concerns with ease before a shocked look came over his face.

“Do you think -” she’d started, but then shook her head. “Neil, how long has it been since your last period?”

He knew he was due sometime soon, but it was a vague notion of time. He shrugged.

“What are you implying?” he asked, his brain still processing the question. “Oh.”

“So?” Allison tapped her nails against her glass, a nervous tick that used to give her away during poker nights. “Would it be possible?”

Neil blushed, thinking of the last time he’d seen Andrew. “It’s not not-possible,” he decided, biting his lip. “But that's… That’s not something to take lightly.”

Allison shook her head. “No, it isn’t. You shouldn’t play exy until you know for sure, just in case.”

Shouldn’t play exy. Fuck, Neil knows he shouldn’t. But what did that mean?

He still owed eighty percent of his salary to the Moriyamas for the rest of his career and he’s only been playing professionally for a few years now. He still wants to play exy, to be on the court where he feels like he can do anything. He can’t do that with a baby.

And of course, the logical answer would be an abortion. Then he wouldn’t have to worry about the baby at all. But now that he thinks he might have a baby? He wants it. He wants his kid. And it’s terrifying. He doesn’t even know how Andrew would react. If he’d want to keep it too or if he’d urge Neil to get rid of it.

But here he was, holding the positive pregnancy test in his hand. His legs were shaking as he walked to the couch to sit down. Holy shit.

He started counting in French, then in German, then in Spanish, then as far as he could in his stilted Russian. It usually helped to clear his thoughts, but it wasn’t helping so much now.

He picked up his phone to call Andrew and nearly dropped the thing, his hands were shaking so badly. In the dim lighting, the bright screen started to give him a headache the second he turned it on, but he found Andrew’s number in his contacts and held the phone to his ear, pulling his knees to his chest.

“Neil.” Andrew’s voice filtered through the speaker, Neil let out a wrecked sigh when he heard it, too relieved for words just to have that sound anchoring him.

Andrew seemed to get the memo Neil wasn’t going to talk, so he just put the phone on speaker so Neil could listen to him breathing. Over where Andrew lived, he probably wasn’t even out of bed yet, but they’d gotten into this practice a long time ago. It started when Andrew had first left Palmetto State. They both needed to know the other was safe and the sound of the other’s breathing could lull them into a peaceful sleep or comfort them after a nightmare.

“‘Drew?” Neil asked shakily after some time had passed. His knees had stopped knocking into each other and he’d mostly calmed. “Can you come here?”

“I’ll be there.” Andrew hung up soon after, trying to finish getting ready as soon as possible.

Without Andrew’s voice on the phone, Neil only had his own breath and heartbeat, as well as the sounds of the street, for company. He tried to focus on only those, but it didn’t help.

Neil found his way back to his room and curled up under the many blankets he piled on top of himself, feeling King wake up from his place at the foot of Neil’s bed and move closer to his face to lie down again. He didn’t know when he’d fallen asleep, but he woke up to his door bursting open.

Neil quickly jumped up, and King leapt from the bed in shock.

“Neil.” Andrew said, and it was so amazing to hear him without the static from the phone. He almost collapsed back into the bed, but he propped himself up against the headboard instead.

“I called you.” He wasn’t angry, at least it didn’t sound like it. He was just stating facts.

“I’m sorry.” Neil looked down. He’d left his phone on the couch.

“Idiot.” Andrew huffed, climbing in beside Neil. “Go to sleep.”

And so he did, feeling at ease with Andrew next to him, despite his anxiousness about why exactly he’d wanted Andrew there with him.

He woke up again around twelve, with Andrew gone from his side. He walked out of the room, King at his heels, to find Andrew sitting down on the couch. Not paying too much attention, he made his way to the kitchen.

“Do you want coffee?” He asked, partially interrupted by a yawn.

“No.” Well, that was a surprise.

“Okay..?” Neil, despite his confusion, simply shrugged it off. “Guess I’ll just have a whole pot to myself then.”

“No.”

“Oh?” Neil turned back to look at him. “Pray tell?”

Andrew held up the pink stick in his hands. “It’s bad for the baby.”

Neil’s eyes widened and his hands shook. “I-”

“When were you going to tell me?” Andrew got up from the couch, walking towards Neil.

“Today.” Neil bites his lip. “I found out yesterday, but I’ve suspected for a week or so.” Andrew pulls him close, letting Neil bury his head in his neck.

“What are we gonna do?” Neil asked, a breathy plea for Andrew to help.

“Do you want to keep it?” Andrew’s hazel eyes bore into him with the severity of the question.

Neil thought about it, thought about how their child might be like. Thought about Andrews’s eyes and Neil’s tan skin. Thought about an energetic nightmare playing with the cats. Thought about them growing up to be even half the man Andrew was.

“Yes.” Moriyamas be damned, he wanted to hold his kid in his arms.

“Then we’ll do that.” Andrew promised, as if it were that simple. Neil let out a strangled laugh, one that came from the desperate hollows of his throat once he thought about all that their child might have to go through.

“Yeah.” He agreed, touching his hand to his stomach. “We’ll do that.”

cooking

an: hi friends! I decided to do a fluffy mini ficlet week to combat the angst of the show. Here’s day one! <3 (tagging @swans-and-pirates, my fluff soulmate)


“You’re going to burn it!” Emma laughs.

“Burn it? Whatever are you on about?”

She sides up next to Killian, who stands at the stove with his sleeves rolled up, laughing lines creasing his eyes and dimples in his cheeks. 

Emma turns the dial down on the stove heat and giggles, settling her hands on Killian’s arm while she studies the pan of cooking sauce.

“Just… keep it at a normal level.” Emma says.

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