not-here-now-leave-a-message

shadowhunters characters' voicemails
  • clary: i'm not here right now please leave a message
  • jace: if you have this number you must be blessed, so go on angel face you know what to do
  • alec: *muffled* how does this damn thing work
  • izzy: you've reached miss isabelle lightwood! family, press one. friends, press two. hookups, press three. meliorn, delete my number.
  • simon: if this isn't raphael, leave a message. if it is, how do you keep getting my number??
  • magnus: whO CALLS UPON THE HIGH WARLOCK? *beep*

*JD is trying to call the gynecologist after Veronica’s water breaks*

Voicemail: Hi, this is Doctor Howard. I’m not here right now, please leave a message. *beep*

JD: Hey, Doc Howard. Jason Dean calling. Guess what the fuck’s up! Veronica’s going into labor and you are not fucking here! No, you know where you’re at right now?! A fucking bar mitzvah in San Francisco, you motherfucking piece of shit! And you know what I’m gonna have to do now? I’m gonna have to kill you! I’m gonna have to pop a fucking cap in your ass! You’re dead! You’re Tupac, you are fucking Biggie, you PIECE OF SHIT! I hope you fucking die or drop the fucking chair and kill that fucking kid. Hope your plane crashes. Peace, fucker!!! *hangs up*

*sighs heavily*

black women are never championed for who we are as individuals or as unique beings. we’re never cherished and treated like we need protection (BECAUSE WE DO) and are often left to fend for ourselves. we’re only applauded for what we can do for EVERYONE ELSE.

so, with that being said, when y'all can give me a reason as to why you love black women aside from us being “strong” and “independent” gimme a call.

until then… kindly stay out my mentions and/or notifications talkin’ absolute nonsense about “divisiveness” whenever a black woman brings up the fact that we often harvest the crop, set the table, and prepare the food,,, but we never get to eat.

  • Paddy: I thought you didn't want to make it too easy for him.
  • Dr Mason: I don't. Liv does. She took my mobile phone.
  • Aaron: She did what?
  • Liv: Sorry. I wouldn't have had to if you'd taken his number!
  • Aaron: I'm so... That's out of order! He's a doctor! You can't waste his time like that.
  • Liv: His shift ended an hour ago. He's here now, so what's the harm? Loosen up. I'm going to the shop to get some more ketchup. Be nice! (leaves)
  • Dr Mason: She's determined, isn't she?
  • Aaron: I'll have a word with her. She shouldn't be doing that.
  • Dr Mason: I don't mind so much.
  • Aaron: Yeah, I do.
  • Dr Mason: It's a nice day for it.
  • Aaron: Yeah, I suppose, yeah.
  • Adam: (with paddy by the grill) I told you! THAT is how you light a barbecue, Paddy!
  • Robert: somewhere in the village, on the phone) 'Hiya. It's Aaron's phone. I'm not here right now. Leave a message.' Hey, it's me. Just checking in. Erm... how did it go with social services? And, how is Liv? You know what? I'm coming over.
  • Dr Mason: Have you lived here long?
  • Aaron: The village, I have, yeah, but... here, no, not long.
  • Dr Mason: Should I have not come?
  • Aaron: You had to. Liv had your phone.
  • Dr Mason: That's not what I meant.
  • Aaron: Erm... Liv going into A&E just... shook me up a bit, you know? My head's still... Anyway...
  • Dr Mason: Well, she's a livewire.
  • Aaron: Yeah. I suppose I was the same at her age.
  • (Robert appears)
  • Adam: What's he come for?
  • Paddy: I don't think he wants you here.
  • Robert: I just wanna talk to him.
  • Paddy: Right. I appreciate you looking after Liv. I really do. Because if it wasn't for you... You know? But I think Aaron's made it pretty clear, he doesn't want to see you. (Robert leaves)
  • Dr Mason: Isn't that the guy that brought Liv in?
  • Aaron: Er... yeah.
  • Dr Mason: Everything all right?
  • Aaron: Yeah, yeah.
  • Paddy: I don't think that man understands the concept of being an ex.
  • Adam: Yeah, but exes do get back together and it works out fine, doesn't it?
  • Paddy: Well, it's always tempting to go back to the familiar, but the thing is, the reason why you split up the first time... is always there.
  • Dr Mason: Right, well, thanks. It's been... something.
  • Aaron: Look, I'm sorry. It's just... this is not how I would have done it.
  • Dr Mason: (hands him his number) Figure out how you'd want it. I mean, or don't. It's up to you.
Kurai Koibito - Chapter 4 - Smut

Originally posted by assindeto-de-outono

Author: @dumbass-stilinski
Rating: NSFW 18+
Pairing: Void!Stiles/Reader
Words: 2,223
AN: Chapter 4, and there’s only one more left. Thank you @writing-obrien for being awesome as usual and helping me out! If the beginning seems familiar it’s cause the prologue was actually an excerpt from this chapter.

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 5



You flicked the overhead light on, the single bulb on a string illuminating the lone chair in the middle of the room. Void squinted up at you from it, his face shifting through a range of emotions, finally settling on mild surprise. He tugged on the restraints holding him down and smirked up at you. “Look who it is.”

Keep reading

When the demons come out to play (open possessed!Jack Torrance rp)

Jack’s eyes flickered from hazel to black for a minute, flashing his signature shark-like grin, then back to hazel,  “Jackie-boy isn’t here right now. Please leave a message at the sound of the beep. Beep!”

roguesandpoets  asked:

What would be the recorded message on each of the amis' answering machines? You know, the ones that say, "after the beep... BEEP." (either mobile or land lines)

Omg this is going to be fun!

So I feel like Enj would want to sound serious, but not too serious and would spend literally an hour just recording and deleting and recording again until he finally stuck with.
“Hello you have reached the voicemail of Enjolras I am afraid I am unavailable at the moment but if you leave a message I can assure you I will respond in time. Thank you.”

I feel like Combeferre would earn his PhD and just be way to damn excited, he would probably be: “Hello you’ve reach the voicemail of DOCTOR Combeferre, if you leave a message the DOCTOR will get back to you.” Fucking third person

Coufeyrac would have those prank voice mails like, “Hello?………….. Hahaha leave a message!”

Grantaire would just be a joke, “I’m not here right now… You know what to do.”


Bossuet, Joly, and Musichetta probs recorded their home phone one together and went back and forth with words like: “Hi, this, is, Bossuet, Joly, and, Musichetta! We’re, not, here, right, now, so,please,leave,a,message,bye!!!

Bahorel would defiantly have music playing in the background like elevator music: "Hey there… Life is tough, I know but think about how far you’ve already made it! Through all those years, just to leave a message here, on my phone…. Good job pal! And don’t forget to leave a message.

Feuilly would probs be quick and to the point like: "Hey this is Feuilly I’m not here right now so leave a message.

Eponine would be fucking sarcastic as hell: "Hi I’m either not here right now or I don’t like you. Either way leave a message, or don’t, I don’t fucking control you.

Marius and Cosette would be super cute, like: "Hi you’ve reached Marius and Cosette, we’re out at the moment probably shopping or picking flowers, leave us a message we will certainly get back to you!” *kiss noise*